Above, that’s the dude from “Napoleon Dynamite” performing in the movie “Blades of Glory. Left, that’s U.S. famed skater Evan Lysacek during the men’s short program Wednesday at the World Figure Skating Championships at Staples Center. As art immitates sport immitaing life immitating Napoleon on skates intimating that the guy can really skate a program, we also wonder: Scott Hamilton was in “Blades of Glory,” right? As himself. Legitimizing the movie, as he’s legitimizing the World Figure Skating Championships that have been taking place this week on Oxygen (c’mon, it’s right there between Hallmark and HSN).
Maybe after all these kids in crazy chiffon outfits are finished skating around at Staples Center this week, some will stick around and try out for the Kings’ skate chicks crew that shovel ice around the nets during time outs and try to do fancy tricks when no one’s watching.
Or maybe not. Probably not. Man, we hope not.
We’ve tried to explain how people watch figure skating on TV these days, because you know you’ll probably have to sit through some of it Saturday night between 9 and 11 p.m. if you’re home and rescind remote control duties. Enlighten yourself by reading today’s media column (linked here) and then some of the other stuff we’ve come across this week that wasn’t print-worthy:
== Another observation by David Michaels, the NBC Sports producer of the skating coverage this weekend that feeds into the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver, which NBC will also cover: “While the world championships have an insight into what may happen (at the Olympics), history says the whole period between now and then, all kinds of things change. This is the best time to check out the other competitors and see what they’ll need to do to win (the Olympics). I’d pay less attention to the results and more to the lessons learned.”
== Hamilton’s opinion about the U.S. women’s chances: “It’s a very important World Championships because their placements determine how many entries they’ll have at the Olympics next year. Alyssa Czisny’s done everything she can to break down her technique to be more consistent and that showed with a win at the National Championship. I hope she can go to L.A. and throw down two great performances.”
==ESPN2’s “Friday Night Fights” has Brian Kenny live from the studio while Teddy Atlas and Joe Tessitore call tonight’s Eddie Chambers-Samuel Peter bout from the Nokia Theatre at L.A. Live (7 p.m.).
== Prime Ticket’s coverage of the MLS Chivas USA season — 18 games on the local cable channel — starts Sunday with the team’s game in Dallas. Christian Miles does play-by-play, with Bernard Osuna as the analyst and Amanda Fletcher on the sidelines when games are at home.
== GolTV has live coverage of nine European 2010 FIFA World Cup qualifying matches from Saturday through April 1 – 2. The field includes Spain, Germany, Netherlands, Italy and Russia.
== Because you really can’t enjoy an auto race better than hearing it on the radio, Sirius XM has announced it will do all Formula One races this season on all services starting with Sunday’s opener in Australia (10 p.m. Saturday PDT).
== ESPN has the McDonald’s High School All-American basketball game from Miami (Wednesday, April 1, with the girl’s game followed by the boy’s game). Coverage includes the three-point skills competition and dunk contest on Monday at 5 p.m. Dave Pasch is doing play-by-play for both girls and boys games. Brenda VanLengen analyzes the girls while Len Elmore is with the boys.
== This ESPN.com piece by Greg Garber running in the Krispy Kreme Challenge reminds us when we were at the L.A. Marathon years ago and offered donuts and cigars to participants instead of water and towels as they ran past us:
== AND THE CLOSING ARGUMENT:
From Onion Sports (linked here):
Marc Stein Treated For OCD After Latest NBA Power Rankings List Teams From Dirtiest To Cleanest
BRISTOL, CT — Sportswriter Marc Stein was diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder and prescribed a low dose of Risperdal Tuesday after using his weekly ESPN.com power rankings to rate the “filthiness” of each NBA team.
“Basketball under their fingernails; I wouldn’t go near these guys in a million years, okay?” read Stein’s entry for the 11th-ranked Pacers, a typical blurb in a list that described the No. 1 Suns as “pretty clean or less diseased than normal” and the No. 30 Mavericks as “DIRTY DIRTY DIRTY DIRTY.”
An agitated Stein told reporters that he believes teams need to be ranked in many different ways.
“Scoring them from best to worst, or by their ‘power,’ is one way, but what about organizing them by how dirty they are, their franchise age, or the way they sound or taste? People deserve to know that, although the Lakers are the best team in the league, they are only 23rd in terms of how well-liked they are among their own families. The Detroit Pistons are ranked eighth alphabetically. That’s important.”
Stein was prescribed an additional dose of D-cycloserin after explaining his plans to wash the entire Northwest Division.
When emailed about this story — for real — Stein, the former Daily News NBA writer replied: “The irony here is that I am an absolute neat freak . . . maybe they’re spying on me.”