Day 7: 30 baseball books in 30 days of April, ’09: Girls talk horsehide… OMG

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The book I: “Save at Home: Confessions of a Baseball Fanatic” by Alyssa Milano (William Morrow, $22.99, 256 pages)

The book II: “Confessions of a She-Fan: The Course of True Love with the New York Yankees” by Jane Heller (Rodale Books, $24.95, 262 pages)

Where we’d go looking for them: The Oprah Book Club list of “Yeah, we thought about it, but ..”

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The scoop: We don’t intend to read either of these, but we have scanned them, from top to bottom, admired their pretty covers, touched the inside pages with our fingertips just to get that sense of texture, smelled the spine and caressed it to our chest, to see if there was any kind of emotional bond.

We felt cold. And warm. At the same time.

Good for them, for writing a book about baseball. There aren’t enough of them out there. Joe Torre realizes that. He’s written the forward for the Milano tome — but she, of course, admits to have never met him. Her CAA agent happened to know Torre’s agent, they sent him a few chapters, he read them, thought it was a nice gesture to write about it and sent it back.

No, Milano did not write the forward to Torre’s “My Yankee Years.” That seemed to obvious.

Milano has done a delicious job of promoting this thing — you can hear or see or read about it many place. We, in fact, feel the best information came from an issue of Star Magazine (the one with Angelina Jolie yelling at Brad Pitt for hooking up with the nanny, Natalie Portman’s trist with Sean Penn and … you just gotta read the rest for yourself). In a story entitled, “She’s The BOSS!” (where’d they come up that, Danza?), the former child sar admits to overcoming depressions, weight problems and a broken marriage.
How’s this about baseball?

Because Barry Zito, Carl Pavano and Brad Penny helped along the way. Sorta.

“To be completely honest, after Barry and I broke up, I swore off baseball players,” she writes.

She was married to a rock star named Cinjun Tate for 11 months. Now, at age 36, she has “finally made the decision to get professional help” and she finally fell in love with her agent, David Bulgiari, aged …. 30.

Yes, our little Samantha has grown up to be a modern-day cougar.

She’s had a charmed life, and baseball seems to tie it all together. We’re happy for her. We hope this means she’ll stop stalking major-league players. And she can crosspromote her line of “Touch” clothing at the ballparks.

She’s even got this “If I Were Comissioner” line in the book: I would set aside 10,000 affordable seats in every ball park, ban beach balls, abolish the designated-hitter rule and remove home-field advantage in the World Series as an All-Star Game incentive.

That’s deep.

As we said, we didn’t quite finish reading it. But here’s a review from a guy/stalker in Whitter who put this up on Amazon.com:

“Her heart beats in time with the true heart of Baseball On every page she celebrates what Baseball is what it was and what it can be again. We see the times it has sustained her and other times when it lifted her still further. We feel the bond it helps create with her Father and perhaps in a bigger sense the bond created with the true natue of the human spirit. Also in her frank no nonsense honesty she tells it like it is regarding what is wrong with Americas game. A good read in so many ways.”

Now, go take a cold shower.

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As for this Yankee-lover story … First, beware. That’s not the chick-lit author’s face on the cover.

Heller, who lives in Santa Barbara, has decided to do a diary of the 2007 Yankees season. The book was in motion after a “divorce” essay she wrote for the New York Times with the help of Harvey Araton. The divorce was between her and the Yankees, two months into that ’07 season. It only took Torre a few months later to make his divorce from the team official.

Readers were upset over her Times essay, and it forced her to look at her own feelings about winning and losing. She actually took her husband as her partner to travel around and follow the Yankees through the rest of that season, every game, no matter where it was played — which ended with … we won’t spoil it. You’ll have to look that up.

Her feeling about loyalty, romance, commitment, patience and love come out between her and her Yanks.

Heller, who has written 13 books, including one called: “An Ex to Grind,” has a relationship angle to her story that is very similar to Milano’s. But she may have received the best publicity for her book recently when, according to Page Six of the New York Post, the the Yankees “are snubbing one of their biggest fans” because they won’t run an ad for it in their opening day program. “They deemed it too ‘controversal.’” Said Heller: “It’s sad to have the Yankees so mad at a fan who writes about how much she loves her team.”

Milano’s reps may have to try some similar controversal tact to see if baseball fans want to care about her book.

How it goes down in the scorebook: Our wife has always been accomodating when we’re at a game, going up to the concession stand to get another dog or Coke or heap of nachos. We’ve come to appreciate that aspect of the relationship very much. We’re not sure what it says about our views of this book, but it makes us, again, give thanks for a wife who loves baseball, and making her husband happy occasionally.

And now, we search the MLB “Extra Innings” for the next Florida Marlins game/aka visit to the Miami Hooters:

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  • udagawa

    hiroko shimabukuro!