It’s Out of the Question: And these are fair, yet foul

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True or false: D-Fish was spotted in a small panic at a local Costco before heading to Denver, trying to buy jump shots in bulk? Despite the fact he ran past the guy at the front door (who strangely looked like Sasha Vujacic) in 0.4 seconds without flashing his membership card? Would it have been easier for him to just ask the guy in the hairnet with the tray of manufactured salmon-and-olive cracker samples (who strangely looked like Jordan Farmar) where they keep the eight-gallon jugs of Kaopectate?

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== By the way, not to look too deep into a Nike ad, but what does make Kobe Bryant’s “unstoppable” so unstoppable? Does that apply to the next couple of days when the Mamba has some supervised downtime in the greater Denver area and decides to go looking for the back-alley joint where Kenyon Martin got those ruby red lips tattooed on his neck?

== How’s this for a plan: Next time a Laker player misses a critical free throw at a crucial juncture in a playoff contest, he doesn’t step away from the line and slap hands with his teammates, who seem to be offering him a hearty congratulation for his lack of ability to sink an uncontested, flat-footed shot from 15-feet away as the home crowd goes silent to help him concentrate?

== Can Doc Buss do something now to guarantee that, somewhere down the road, George Karl replaces Phil Jackson? Or does that need some special daughter approval?

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== Chris “Birdman” Andersen: So this is what happened to Macaulay Culkin?

== Has Blake Griffin began his search at LegalZoom.com to find anyone with the juice to a) draw up an effective cease-and-desist court order to keep any Clipper employee from coming within 1,000-feet of his private workouts before next month’s draft – refer to the case of Danny Ferry v. Elgin Baylor somewhere on the books — and b) work a pre-nup with Donald Sterling just in case there is nothing in the federal anti-trust habeas corpusing rules that preclude Mike Dunleavy from insisting he must come to L.A. (the alternative: All-Star point guard in the Greek League) and live in some low-cost high-rise that encourages all ethnic backgrounds and children to flourish in perfect harmony?

== When trying to figure out the exact date when Manny Ramirez returns to the Dodgers’ lineup, is it more accurate to first check the master MLB calendar, or yield to Manny’s illogical biological clock?

== The Dodgers’ top long-ball producer currently resides in the magic No. 8 hole? And you worry about Joe Torre batting the pitcher eighth on occasion?

== Has Torre considered having Matt Kemp participate in the new Sunday Jr. Dodgers Kids Run the Base program – not as an instructor?

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== Would you be more enticed to watch Sunday’s Indy 500 if you could see Danica Patrick on the pole?

thomas.hoffarth@dailynews.com

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