Mrs. Kobe Bryant makes us feel like such a boob for failing to attend this week’s ESPY Awards, like some of our spot-on collegues were able to. Honestly, it’s just on the radar any more. Not the show. Not the red carpet. Not the pretend interviews. If you catch us watching it Sunday, please, remove the remote from our hand and make us clean up the dog stuff in the backyard. That’s more important.
Now, Mr. Kobe Bryant — you let your spouse out in public looking as if she’s trying on a dress from the Nordstrom’s Kids 8-and-Under boutique? There’s so much clevagical spillage, local authorities considered calling Greenpeace in to help with the cleanup. FEMA was sending in portable trailers to house those caught in the aftermath.
How much did that set you back, Black Mamba?
Otherwise, there are things we discovered from other sources that may or may not have made a difference in how we stayed cool:
First, the press releases that we’ll let others gush/gnarl their teeth at first:
== The NFL is going high-def on all
pre-season exhibition games (linked here).
== For those who need to know what the ESPY presenters have to legally claim on their tax records as receiving in their gift bag (linked here).
And a few other tidbits:
== Harvey Levin on Erin Andrews’ TMZ moment in the airport (above): “Is it just me or does she think this is the most exciting thing that’s happened to her?” It’s just you, numb nuts.
== There are six ways to look at Andrews’ appearance at the ESPYS outside the Nokia Theatre on Wednesday, and none of them look as if she’s sporting a bruise from getting hit by a foul ball (linked here).
== ESPN has a new YouTube.com channel because … it wouldn’t be hip if it didn’t (linked here). Maybe more venues for Andrews to perform on.
== If the University of Arizona can break away from Fox Sports Arizona and do their own sports network, what’s to prevent … uh … USC and UCLA from doing the same thing with Fox Sports West/Prime Ticket (linked here). Or should we not even throw that idea out there?
== Want to see what happens behind the scenes at ESPN’s World Series of Poker coverage (linked here)?
== The 50 most watched sports for the first half of 2009 starts with seven NFL games, and 11 of the top 12 … what was the only thing to break into that list? (linked here) Not Game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals, my boy (in fact, it wasn’t even in the top 50).
== Is Chris Berman “playfully miffed” by not having TMZ recognize him? (linked here)
== More more look at Joe Buck, Tim McCarver and … a former Chicago White Sox player (?) interrupting Fox’s Tuesday’s MLB All-Star Game:
== AND ONE MORE FINALLY:
From the Onion Sports (linked here), the story headlined: “Barry Zito Throws One-Hit Bullpen Session”