Shaqtacular TV: Another reality show that can’t be worth the script it’s written on

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ABC didn’t learn enough when it tried to give Shaquille O’Neal a reality TV show that tried to help little kids lose weight.

Now, Shaq loses his mind.

Something called a “reality competiton series” with Shaq trying to show that he has no skills whatsoever in anything beyond basketball, “competing” against athletes in their given sport, is scheduled to air on ABC starting Aug. 18 at 9 p.m. in a summer filler “show” called “Shaq Vs.” It starts taping Wednesday, so there’s plenty of time for him, or the “competitors” to back out, and the ABC can throw on that Tony Danza drama-sit-com pilot that’s been in the bank since ’04.

Honestly, Shaq couldn’t have competed on the new bogus “Superstars” against Jeff Kent, Lisa Leslie and Terrell Owens , (who has his own reality show on VH1 that started Monday that we’re not quite ready to decide what to make of it, other than the guy likes to show off his shirtless self and hit on his real estate agent.)

During this “series,” Shaq is supposed to challenge Michael Phelps in swimming, Ben Roethlisberger in football, Serena Williams in tennis, Oscar de la Hoya in boxing, Albert Pujols in baseball, and Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor in beach volleyball. They’ll give him a handicap. He’ll provide the ensuing hijinx.

“These athletes may be on top of their game, but I am up for the challenge,” said O’Neal. “I plan to train hard and win, so look out.”

That’s the quote from the press release. So is this:

“Shaq is the only one with the athletic skills and personality to carry this unique project,” said John Saade and Vicki Dummer,who head up the ABC Entertainment Group’s Alternative Series, Specials and Late-Night department. “It’s Shaq versus the best athletes in the world, competitors who aren’t afraid of the challenge….or Shaq’s humor.”

If you’re vacationing during August and afraid you’ll miss this show, don’t worry. It’ll show up on the Comic Book Channel someday.

Also, blame Dick Clark for this. His company is in association with Media Rights Capital as the show’s producer. Shaq, of course, also is listed as a producer. Shazam.

Now, produce some viewers. Put Shaq on a new “American Bandstand.”

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