Our Daily Dread: Finally, a new role model for my daughter — Patty Pom-Poms

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Without Alise Cayen, there’d be no Patty Klapinsky. And the cheery world of cheerleading would be all the more poorer for it.

A book publisher sent this notice out the other day, promoting a new children’s tome that just captured our hearts, and minds, and other things, from the very first sentence. We will save you some of the time searching to find out information by letting you that the author, Cayen, “was a professional cheerleader for the Los Angeles and Oakland Raiders for seven years. She has an extensive dance background and has worked as a high school cheerleading and dance coach. Ms. Cayen is a television producer, scriptwriter, poet, high school dance and English instructor and coordinates a police academy magnet school, preparing high school students for law enforcement careers. Ms. Cayen is writing the second volume of Patty Pom-Poms in her Cheerventures series and has just completed a children’s book about police officers. She resides in Los Angeles.”

Ms. Cayen, it should be noted, works at the Reseda High Police Magnet School (linked here). She’s an ’86 Reseda High grad, and a ’92 grad of Cal State Northridge, according to her pages on Classmates.com. And she’s not too old to have her own Facebook page (linked here). Or a MyLife page that lists here at 41 years old (linked here).

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And a couple of eBay.com listings (one here) that, for $4.99, allows you to buy: “ALISE CAYEN SEXY!!! COLOR CANDID 8×10 PHOTO RAIDERETTES” .. and there are two available.

Feeling creepy yet?

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OK, that was then. This is now (pictured right).

What 17-year-old boy wouldn’t want to be a male cheerleader with her recommendation?

With that, Ms. Cayen presents, Patty Pom-Pom, “an inspring children’s story about a young girl who works hard to realize a dream.”

The rest of the release:

Patty Klapinsky would give anything to be a sports star like her brothers — to belong to something — but she can’t seem to find her niche.

“Encouraged by her brother, Patty goes to one of his football games and is mesmerized by the cheerleaders. The very next day, Patty gets to work, making her own pom-poms and practicing every day in order to be the best she can be!

“The big day for cheerleader tryouts finally arrives and Patty knows that she has what it takes to be a great cheerleader. Does Patty make the team? What lessons does she learn along the way?

“Cayen’s inspiring story is engaging and sends a message about persistence and hard work toward realizing dreams and accomplishing goals. Drawn from her own personal experience as a professional cheerleader and dancer, her narrative brings her characters to life with vivid description and rhythmic dialogue; her children’s tale is an outstanding work of fiction with a wonderful message.”

Wait a sec, this is all fiction? Which part? The stuff about how dreams are realized and goals are accomplished in the cheerleading industry?

We’re not trying to stifle any of her creative energy. She apparently has a gun and knows how to use it if we ever ran through a stop sign in Reseda. But reallly … Patty Pom-Poms? Was Sally Sis-Boom-Bah already taken?

Read more about this, if you must (linked here).

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