Meet Joe Buck Live, Part II — Artie’s back, Schilling bows out (on senator’s race) and JB whizzes on Crabtree

Highlights, from our end, of the second episode of “Joe Buck Live” on HBO, which popped on this evening on the television set (caught the East Coast version of it; it’ll be on 10 p.m. West Coast time and has several replays):

By the way, it’s rated TV-PG with a warning about “Adult Language” …

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Opening segment: Joe Buck walking down a New York street, reaches into his jacket, bumped by a pedestrian. He looks up and …

It’s Artie Lang.

Artie gives him the silent gesture like, “Hey, it’s me … remember me.”

Buck has a stressed look on his face. He raises his eyebrows. He turns and runs through pedestrians. Artie gives chase.

The audience laughs and claps.

If you need this explained to you, you don’t get the joke. (linked here)

Buck appears on stage to open the show, pretending he’s winded.

“I have not run like that in years,” he says.

Onto a conversation — chummy at best — with John Elway, Dan Marino, Joe Namath

Onto a conversation with Jerry Jones and Mark Cuban … allowing the Cowboys’ owner to admit he’s “scared sh–less” about now owning a new huge stadium and having to pay for it …

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Onto a conversation with Curt Schilling, who “announces” that “I am not going to run for the senate seat” recently vacated by the passing of Ted Kennedy. … “Obviously there’s a million pieces” to this, Schilling said, “and I couldn’t get over the first few going down that path … no matter what support and outreach was given to me didn’t make much sense.”

The final segment: “I Refuse to Hyperventilate” where Buck gets to riff on (with photos to help illustrate his point):

I refuse to hyperventilate about the perceived East Coast bias in television coverage. As a broadcaster with almost two decades of experience, let me end all the conversation right here. There IS AN EAST COAST BIAS. And why shouldn’t there be?

“More people will watch Yankees-Red Sox than Cardinals-Reds, and more people will watch (N.Y.) Giants-Cowboys than Bengals-Chiefs. The nearly 25 million people who watched Sunday Night Football this weekend (on NBC) are just one example of that. For the networks, it’s like an election. Except that in this case, what’s at stake are ratings, not votes.

“Until everyone moves to Nashville and Minneapolis, you’re going to see the Yankees-Red Sox, Giants-Eagles a helluva lot more than you’re going to see Chiefs, Twins, Cardinals and Jazz. I live in the Midwest. I love it and I’ll deal with the East Coast bias in exchange for better air quality.

“Back to football: I understand why the NFL does this whole throwback uniform thing. I mean, they’re trying to sell more jerseys to fans. But I’m getting tired of trying to figure out which team is which when I’m trying to watch a game. I mean, the Falcons in Week 2, the Patriots and Bills from Week 1, no problem. I was alive when Steve Grogan actually wore that uniform. But a couple of years ago the Eagles played the Lions in a game that looked like the Frankfurt Galaxy against the Rhein Fire in NFL Europe. And they also insist in dressing referees like clowns. Orange striped shirts? Why? Do fans go out and buy officials’ uniforms as souvenirs? A grown man should not be made to dress like this on national television. Except maybe TNT’s Craig Sager.

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“You want to see the face of a guy who doesn’t get it? Michael Crabtree, probably the most talented receiver in last year’s NFL draft. Not playing in the NFL right now. Went to Texas Tech, drafted by the 49ers, but refused to sign a contract with San Fran because he wants more money than the receiver that the Raiders drafted ahead of him. Now, a pretty good San Francisco team which I think will win the NFC West is without its draft pick while he demands a huge contract before he’s ever played a down of NFL football. What?

“To me, it’s all highlighting a major flaw in the NFL system. Why are rookies getting the best deals on clubs year after year? For that new collective bargaining agreement they’re talking about, how ’bout this: Pay the guy who’s shown what he can do and have a real draft pay scale for the kids coming out of college.

“And by the way, Michael, if you ever do sign that contract, good luck with coach Mike Singletary’s first practice. I’m sure he’ll completely understand your situation.”

If only Dennis Miller could have delivered it as smoothly and less snarky.

The show continues online with Schilling, Namath and Marino hanging out … Schill ripping on Deion Sanders … “but he is a great guy.” Schill then makes fun of Joe Buck having a segment called “Buckshot” …

“After what I went through on the first show, this is nuthin’,” Buck said of the ribbing.

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Your L.A. Week 4 college football TV schedule: What’s older than Joe Paterno? It Depends … on how old your joke is, and ABC’s sense of humor

There was video from Week 1 of Penn State coach Joe Paterno chasing some camera man away from his players as they were stretching before a game. The camera guy laughed as he backpedaled — all while filming.

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Then there was that incident last year at the Rose Bowl, when JoePa refused to talk to Lisa Salters before the game, then headed up to the press box to watch his team get destroyed by USC. He talked to Chris Fowler afterward.

Salters was so nuts about it, the threw out the “he could be fined” for not talking to her (linked here). Then, three months later, he was quietly “punished” (linked here).

Welcome back to the World Wide Leader, Mr. 82 year old coach, (born Dec. 21, 1926) who finds his team ranked in the Top 4 of most polls, mostly because USC and Oklahoma have graciously given up their spots.

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The new leader of the Big Ten has been picked to expose their shortcomings on this week’s ABC/ESPN prime-time Saturday game. You can start the beer-drinking game now: How many times will Brent Musburger say “JoePa”? …..

We know of three girls who are the clubhouse leaders so far…

Swigging ahead to the rest of the otherwise modest weekend of ballplaying, some teams in recovery mode, others trying to figure out how to mess up their Top 10 rankings before their fans wake up to the fact they just don’t belong there:

THE LOCALS:

==UCLA: A well-deserved rest.
==USC vs. Washington State, Saturday, 7:15 p.m., FSN West (with Barry Tompkins, Petros Papadakis and Michael Eaves)

THURSDAY

== 4:30 p.m., ESPN: Mississippi at South Carolina (with Chris Fowler, Craig James, Jesse Palmer and …. wait for it … Erin Andrews. Maybe wearing glasses)

FRIDAY

== 6 p.m., ESPN: Missouri at Nevada (with Joe Tessitore and Rod Gilmore)

SATURDAY

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== 7 to 9 a.m., ESPN: College GameDay from State College, Penn., with Fowler, Herbstreit, Corso and Howard.

== 9 a.m., ESPN: Michigan State at Wisconsin (with Dave Pasch, Bob Griese and Chris Spielman)
== 9 a.m., ESPN2: Indiana at Michigan (with Pam Ward and Ray Bentley)
== 9 a.m., ESPNU: South Florida at Florida State (with Clay Matvick and David Diaz-Infante)
== 9 a.m., FSN West: Southern Miss at Kansas (with Joel Meyers, Dave Lapham and Jim Knox)
== 9 a.m., Big Ten Network: Minnesota at Northwestern (with Wayne Larrivee, Chris Martin and our Charissa Thompson)
== 10 a.m., ESPN360.com: TCU at Clemson (with Dave Weekley and Danny Kanell)
== 11 a.m., MNT: San Diego State at Air Force (with Ari Wolfe and Blaine Fowler)
== 11 a.m., ESPN360.com: Wake Forest at Boston College (with Ryan Rose and Jeff Genyk)
== 12:30 p.m., Channel 2: Arkansas at Alabama (with Verne Lundquist, Gary Danielson and Tracy Wolfson)
== 12:30 p.m., Channel 7: Cal at Oregon, (with Terry Gannon and David Norrie)
== 12:30 p.m., ESPN: Illinois at Ohio State (with Ron Franklin and Ed Cunningham)
== 12:30 p.m., ESPN PPV: Miami at Virginia Tech (with Sean McDonough, Matt Millen and Holly Rowe)
== 12:30 p.m., FSN West: UTEP at Texas (with Bill Land, Gary Reasons and Emily Jones)
== 12:30 p.m., ESPNU: Pittsburgh at North Carolina State (with Todd Harris and Charles Arbuckle)
== 12:30 p.m., CBS College Sports: Western Kentucky at Navy (with Craig Bolerjack and Randy Cross)
== 12:30 p.m., ESPN360.com: Rutgers at Maryland (with Jim Barbar and Jeremy Bloom)
== 3 p.m., ESPN2: Florida at Kentucky (with Mark Jones and, Bob Davie)
== 3 p.m., MTN: Colorado State at BYU (with James Bates, Todd Christensen and Sammy Linebaugh)
== 4 p.m., ESPNU: Arizona State at Georgia (with Eric Collins and Brock Huard)
== 4:30 p.m., Versus: Arizona at Oregon State (with Ron Thulin, Kelly Stouffer and Lewis Johnson)
== 4:30 p.m., CBS College Sports: Louisville at Utah (with Tom Hart and Akbar Gbaja-Biamila)== 5 p.m., Channel 7: Iowa at Penn State (with Brent Musburger, Kirk Herbstreit and Lisa Salters)
== 5 p.m., ESPN: Notre Dame at Purdue (with Brad Nessler, Todd Blackledge and Erin Andrews)
== 6:15 p.m., ESPN2: Texas Tech at Houston (with Mike Patrick, Craig James and Heather Cox)
== 7 p.m., MTN: New Mexico State at New Mexico (with Dan Gutowsky and Robert Griffith)

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Take this, NFL SpaceFace user

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A highlight from Tuesday’s Dan Patrick radio (570-AM)/TV (DirecTV channel 101) show:

== Patrick to Fox analyst and former NFL coach Brian Billick: How would you police Twittering?

Billick: “Well you can’t stop players giving their opinions no matter how inane or idiotic they are. … It can’t happen on game day. If one of these knuckleheads Twitters at halftime: My ankle’s hurt, I’m not coming in the second half. And that goes public.. .and the gambling aspect … the whole nine yards.

== Patrick then asks about how to disicpline a player for having opinions contrary to the team:

Billick: “You better be careful there when you discipline a player because of his radio show, his Twitter, his My Face, My Space, My SpaceFace, whatever it is, he wants to criticize a coach, an organization … you’re going down a path I’m not sure you want to go. I’m talking more about those things being done in the workplace. We all have jobs … and certain rights when you’re being a professional. I don’t want my pilot on my flight to Detroit this week to be Facebooking and Twittering simply because he has the right of free expression. You know, why don’t we wait ’til we land and you do your job.”

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Post script: Later in the conversation, Billick exercised his freedom of expression. He used the “making chicken salad out of chicken sh– reference” during an answer to a Patrick question. It was dumped on the Fox Radio Network feed. It went live on DirecTV. Patrick apologized for Billick going potty mouth. On the DirecTV 101 replay (from 9 to noon), it was also dumped there.

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Our Daily Dread: Yes, they actually sell this tailgate stuff

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The beer commercial with the pseudo infomercial pitch man comes on, loudly, dazzling the audience with all these fantasy tailgate items that one could ever need (or imagine).

Like the barbeque that doubles as a cooler — the Grooler. The harness you put on a dog to carry around the spatacula and other junk (like, your beers) — The Tailgate Companion.

The fake grass can — the Coozie. The giant blue foam finger that also has a beer-can holder — the Foozie. Both are a doozie (sorry, couldn’t resist).

The 24-pack bottle box that’s really a speaker for your tunes. A 3-in-one condiment gun that looks like a converted device you’d use to caulk your bathtub.

Unfortuntately, it’s real. And for sale.

The BBQ-Cooler is, according to the site (linked here) sold out. It was running at $125. Apparenly its a run-away best seller.

Fake-grass can: 6 for $11.99. Foam-finger beer holder: 2 for $9.99.

Tailgate companion: $4.99 (dog not included; made by Petfinder.com)

The speaker: “Now available in stores.” Not the ones I shop in.

The one-of-a-kind condiment gun goes up for auction starting in November. I may bid on it, just to say I have it. Or, I may go in the garage and make my own. I can caulk.

When all the looking was done, we realized we had nothing in our cart. Good for us.

When we wrote about it on this blog, we also realized we’d never mentioned the product. Even better for you, bud.

Dang it.

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Now, you want crazy, creative and distruptive? Pop open a high octane energy drink instead, and see if you have Saturday afternoon free. They’re running the soap box derby in downtown L.A. (linked here). It should be pretty bitchin’.

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Herschel Walker has officially confused himself: He’s a multi-fight, MMA walk-on

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Herschel Walker, the former Heisman Trophy winner from Georgia and NFL running back whose most recent revelation in an autobiography is that he battles with multiple personality disorder, has ordered up a new career — mixed martial arts performer — with a multi-fight contract already signed.

Strikeforce announced today that the 47-year-old Walker, who has a fifth-degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do and has trained in Muay Thai and Keppo, will start a 12-week training program in San Jose’s American Kickboxing Academy.

“I’ve been training for several years,” said Walker in a press release. “I would play college football games on Saturday and then compete in martial arts tournaments on Sunday after church. I’m now looking forward to opening up another chapter in my life and to competing in MMA.”

“I flew to L.A. last month to watch Herschel train and was surprised to see his advanced wrestling and striking abilities,” said Strikeforce founder and CEO Scott Coker, a martial arts promoter of over 25 years. “He’s got work ahead of him, but he’s committed to training at one of the most notable gyms in the sport of MMA so it will be very interesting to watch him progress.”

MMA probably fits into Walker’s personalities.

Remember, he left after his junior year at Georgia to join the new USFL. After a 12-year NFL career with four teams (and two Pro Bowls), he finished seventh in the 1992 Winter Olympics two-man bobsled competition. He nearly made the Olympic sprint relay team.

“I will go in there and test myself against any 20 year old,” said Walker. “I know there will be naysayers and I’m fine with that. I want to prove to people who sit on a couch and don’t do anything but criticize other people that, if you’re a true athlete or martial artist, you’re not old until you can’t get up and walk around anymore. MMA fighters are said to be some of the best athletes in the world, my plan at the age of 47 is to show the world I am still one of the best athletes as well.”

If all goes as planned, expect to see Walker on an upcoming CBS MMA presentation. Last March, Strikeforce signed a deal with Viacom’s Showtime to provide MMA events, with some of them available on CBS (such as one planned for Nov. 7).

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Play it forward: Sept. 21-27 on your sports TV calendar

UPDATED:

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TODAY

What do you call your house? On Fox, it’s actually called “House,” the season six debut tonight, two hours long, where we find the grumpy dude in a mental hospital. In Miami, the home field of them Miami Dolphins is it’s called Land Shark Stadium, enough to send Joe Robbie to a mental hospital if he were around to see this happen. What’s inside, a giant Jimmy Buffett buffet of beer and “Saturday Night Live” videos? NFL: Indianapolis at Miami, 5:30 p.m., ESPN.

The hits that Derek Jeter get against Angels’ pitching this series is added to his franchise-leading totals, right? Meaning, he’s passed Lou Gehrig, someone whose career was cut short by that annoying illness, and he’s got no one in his way en route to 3,000 career knocks. Start building the statue to him now, Yankee faithful. By the way, the Yanks were swept by the Halos last time they ventured to Anaheim before the All-Star break. Angels vs. Yankees at Angels Stadium, 7 p.m., Fox Sports Net West (also Tuesday and Wednesday afternoon)

TUESDAY

It’s late September, and the Dodgers visit the nation’s capital, and the Steel City, on their way to clinching the NL West title. Somehow, there’s a crazy road map in place here. Dodgers at Washington, Channel 9, 4 p.m. (also Wednesday and Thursday)

WEDNESDAY

And keep an eye on those giant-armed Giants, especially after last week’s uneven performance in L.A. San Francisco at Arizona, ESPN, 7 p.m.

Your Sparks live to see another WNBA playoff series, one more to go before they’re back in the championship round. Western Conference finals: Game 1: Phoenix vs. Sparks at Pauley Pavilion, 7 p.m., ESPN2 (at Phoenix on Friday and Saturday).

THURSDAY

Your last shot at watching the PGA Tour when it means something for the season. And there’s a big trophy to give out. Probably to Tiger Woods. Again. Unless … The Tour Championship first round, Golf Channel, 10 a.m to 5:30 p.m. (round two airs on Golf Channel, 10 a.m. to 7:30 p.m.; round three airs on NBC, 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.; round three airs on NBC, 10:30 a.m. to 3 p.m.)

FRIDAY

The record shows the Dodgers have lost only eight games in Pittsburgh over the last nine seasons. Is that going back to pre-Jim Rooker? Dodgers at Pittsburgh, 4 p.m., Prime Ticket (also Saturday, Sunday and Monday, Sept. 28)

SATURDAY

Last week, Washington. This week, Washington State. A year ago, after the Trojans defeated the Cougars 69-0 in Pullman, Wash., in Week 6, Daily News staff writer Scott Wolf gave the team an overall grade performance of “B” (linked here). Could it get even uglier this time? Wolf gave USC a D-plus for its performance in Seattle. College football: USC vs. Washington State, 7:15 p.m., Fox Sports Net West (UCLA has a bye week).

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SUNDAY

Another game of national exposure for the Peyton Manning. As if he needs it. Have another Oreo cookie, sit back, and enjoy the show. Indianapolis at Arizona, Channel 4, 5:20 p.m. Also: Miami at San Diego, Channel 2, 1 p.m.; Tennessee at N.Y. Jets, Channel 2, 10 a.m.

Also: Episode 2 in the new “Curb Your Enthusiasm” season is called: “Vehicular Fellatio,” HBO, 9 p.m.

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The Media Learning Curve: Sept. 11-18

If only Vin Scully could have a departure from the game as well as Ernie Harwell did this week.

The Hall of Famer, who once did Brooklyn Dodger games with Red Barber and could have changed the course of L.A. baseball history if he’d decided to stay with the team in 1950 instead of leave to join the New York Giants, Harwell addressed the Tigers’ home crowd to basically give his own eulogy.

The almost 92-year-old, who joined the Tigers in 1960, has inoperable cancer, and there’s a good chance he won’t be around for next season’s opening day.

“I really feel lucky to be here,” Harwell tells the crowd, which if that doesn’t give you Gehrig-sized goosebumps, nothing will. “The Good Lord has blessed me with a great journey. And the blessed part of that journey is that it’s going to end in the great state of Michigan. … Thank you very much, and God bless you.”

What a unique voice. With that Southern accent that hasn’t left him. Still. And what an ovation.

I’ve had the pleasure of meeting him, interviewing him, having him even sign a baseball for me. It’s one of my great treasures.

If we learned anything from that this week, it’s how to go out with class, dignity and a big thank you.

The rest we learned:

== Your L.A. Week 3 College Football Schedule, complete with a USC visit to Washington and UCLA hosting Kansas State (linked here)

== Your L.A. Week 2 NFL schedule (linked here)

== Why Joe Paterno’s on our side in this sports newspaper section vs. “whatever they call it, computers” (linked here)

== Is it OK if your DirecTV doesn’t have Saturday’s BYU-Florida State contest, because it’s still feuding with Versus? (linked here).

== ESPN’s ombudsman is cool with a three-man booth on NFL games — especially ESPN’s three guys. (linked here)

== Would ESPN’s ombudsman now like to comment on the new FoxSports.net lineup? (linked here)

== Why Tim McCarver needs you to hear him sing “This Will Be My Shining Hour.” (linked here)

== If John Krakauer wants to write about Pat Tillman, we’re in (linked here)

== Barry Bonds once was nice to a sportswriter (scroll past the first page; linked here)

== It’s Showtime for the AFL (linked here)

== Lots of folk watched ESPN’s version of USC-Ohio State in 2D, too (linked here). As for the 3D reviews … (linked here)

== Don’t confuse Derrin Horton with Damon Andrews at KTLA-Channel 5 (linked here)

== Don’t confuse Cris Collinsworth, the jokester at NBC, with the one who was on ABC 25 years ago (linked here)

== Don’t confuse the digital show from Fox’s Jay Glazer with ESPN’s Kenny Mayne (linked here)

== Don’t confuse Kevin Price with Kevin Prince, Erin (linked here)

== Define what a whole season of HD means with the Kings (linked here)

== Ray Romano has next with Hank Haney on Golf Channel (linked here)

== Who’s Keyshawn Johnson calling a bum? (linked here)

== Why did it take us this long to realize Norman Chad’s “Couch Slouch” columns were running on SI.com? (linked here)

== ESPN found two suckers willing to play a 6 a.m. EDT basketball game (linked here)

== AND FINALLY:

== Suzy Kolber can catch Tom Brady and drag him for a loss if she wanted to (linked here) … but why did it have to look like the final scene of “Heaven Can Wait”?

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About those benefitting from the new FoxSports.net “shows” … we hear Benny Hill in the distance

From today’s Sports Business Daily, by Brian Helfrich:

FoxSports.com Thursday afternoon launched the premiere episode of “Cubed,” a weekly online show that appears will have little — if anything — to do with sports.

Upon announcing the show on September 9, FoxSports.com vowed “nothing is off limits as this show plans to push the line as far as it will go.” Well, that was one release that told the truth.

The debut episode kicks off with a warning that the video contains nudity and graphic language, then takes little time living up to its promise to provide “shock” by including a naked woman in the opening credits after less than 25 seconds.

Immediately following the introduction, the opening segment of the Webisode features three young professionals sitting at adjoined cubicles debating the question, “Would you rather watch the WNBA or gay porn?”

The characters proceed to take several jabs at WNBA athletes, as well as at the league over its lack of fan support.

The ad-free clip, which in total runs just over 16 minutes, goes on to discuss such topics as online dating, sex tapes and overweight celebrities, in addition to showing random videos of bikini-clad women.

As the episode winds down, it introduces the final segment: “Naked activity of the week.” The clip shows 15 seconds of a naked woman brushing her teeth, footage accompanied by no commentary or sound bytes.

This show is one of five new Webisodes offered by FoxSports.com that will update weekly under the marketing banner “Lunch w/ Benefits.:

It goes on to report:
== SportsMediaWatch.blogspot.com wrote “Cubed” “may have been more suited for 3 AM on premium cable than a mainstream sports site.”
== TheBigLead.com wrote: “Is this like a low-budget Sports Nation, minus the feedback?”

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The Media Learning Curve: Days to go before we sleep with the fishes (wrapped in newspaper, of course)

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Months, years … at least a few more days.

In reality, we have no clue how long the newspaper sports section will last. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss, which we tried to explain earlier this week (linked here) and expanded upon in today’s media column (linked here).

Please respond, here or at the story entry point online, about your connection to the daily newspaper sports section. How do you read it? Why do you read it? What do you want from it that’s different from other media sources?

For those who still want the news, in byte-sized pieces:

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== In light of the fact KTLA-Channel 5 is doing this weekend’s final AVP tour stop from Las Vegas, play-by-play and MC man Chris “Geeter” McGee says that the future of a consistent beach volleyball broadcast luring in the casual fan will hopefully shake out by the start of next season.

“I think they’re doing a great job with AVP.com, so at least a lot of people know where to go to watch, but those are the diehards,” said McGee. “To reach the other fans, the local coverage is key. That’s why KTLA works in this situation, and they’ve put the resources behind it. When we’re in Cincinnati, for example, we’re all over the local news and that’s why so many people get out there. Chicago is always amazing as well.”

Before the 2009 season, AVP sources thought there was a deal in place with ESPN to carry many of the events this season. After commissioner Leonard Armato left, the AVP bought time on Versus (a channel still AWOL from DirecTV’s lineup) but only for tour-stop replays. NBC did three live events this summer. The rest are hit and miss with the local customers.

KTLA did the Manhattan Beach Open as a local, live telecast for Southern California two months ago and with former old Prime Ticket boss Don Corsini calling the shots at the local channel, this could be a sign of more local sports coming back to the station that once was famous for its UCLA basketball late-night replays, boxing, Angels, Dodgers and Clippers coverage.

== Time Warner Cable has its own “High School Sports Rewind” half-hour show, hosted by Randy Kerdoon, that attempts to cover all in-season sports throughout Southern California and beyond. It will air every Tuesday at 7 and 10 p.m. on Channel 101 of Time Warner Cable systems, as well as stay on Video on Demand.

== One of the features planned for CBS’ NFL pregame show (Sunday, 9 a.m.) is former Jets QB Boomer Esiason chatting it up with new Jets QB Mark Sanchez. ESPN’s NFL pregame also has a piece on Sanchez, if you can find it amongst the noise.

== New recording artist Tim McCarver (you didn’t hear? it’s linked here), who may not have worked a baseball game with Joe Buck since last year’s World Series, is with Josh Lewin on the Cubs-Cardinals game Saturday, going to nearly 60 percent of the country. Chris Rose and Eric Karros do the Giants-Dodgers game from Dodger Stadium at 1 p.m. (21 percent of the country, Channel 11). Detroit-Minnesota goes to the other 20 percent.

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== ESPN’s lineup for its second annual College Hoops Tip-Off Marathon — back-to-back-to back-to-back-to-back (etc.) live games — has 12 games over a 24-hour period starting late Monday, Nov. 16 at 9 p.m. with UCLA hosting Cal State Fullerton. Every two hours, another game.
They hit five time zones in 14 states and two women’s games.
Here’s how it goes after the Bruins open it up on ESPN:

11 p.m.: San Diego State at St. Mary’s, ESPN
1 a.m. (11 p.m. local time): Northern Colorado at Hawaii, ESPN
3 a.m. (6 a.m. local time) Monmouth at St. Peter’s, ESPN
5 a.m. (8 a.m. local time) Drexel at Niagara, ESPN
9 a.m. (noon local time) Northeastern at Siena, ESPN
11 a.m. (2 p.m. local time) Arkansas Little-Rock at Tulsa, ESPN
1 p.m. (4 p.m. local time) Temple at Georgetown, ESPN
2:30 p.m. (5:30 p.m. local time) Binghamton at Pittsburgh, ESPN2
3 p.m. (6 p.m. local time) NIT from Durham, N.C. (featuring Duke), ESPN
4 p.m. (7 p.m. local time) Women’s game: Tennessee vs. Texas Tech, ESPNU
4:30 p.m. (7:30 p.m. local time) Arkansas vs. Louisville (from St. Louis), ESPN2
5 p.m. (8 p.m. local time) Gonzaga at Michigan State, ESPN
6 p.m. (8 p.m. local time) Duquesne at Iowa. ESPNU
6:30 p.m. (8:30 p.m. local time) Women’s game: Connecticut vs. Texas (from San Antonio), ESPN2
7 p.m. (9 p.m. local time): Memphis vs. Kansas (from St. Louis), ESPN
8:30 p.m. (9:30 p.m. local time) NIT from Tempe, Ariz. (featuring Arizona State), ESPN2

== Fox College Sports Pacific has a half-hour show called “Pepperdine Pipeline,” focused on Waves’ sports, debuting tonight at 7:30 p.m. It is produced and co-hosted by Kira Elste.

== AND FINALLY:

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== Al Michaels said it on the NBC telecast of the Tennessee-Pittsburgh NFL opener last week, after none of us could figure out what some of the players were saying — including the pronunciation of their name and what university they attended:

“Maybe we can get subtitles next time.”

Same could — SHOULD — apply to the CBS “NFL Today” crew when Shannon Sharpe is asked – or maybe forced – to do halftime highlights. As well as with Manny Ramirez in his radio spots on a secondary-ticket service called VIP Tickets. Or is it “BIP”? Oh, yea …

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LeBron, comedian

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The Associated Press

LeBron James is leaving Cleveland for Hollywood.

The Cavaliers superstar and reigning NBA MVP will make his feature film debut by playing himself in an upcoming comedy.

James will appear in “Fantasy Basketball Camp” by Universal Pictures. The movie is about five guys from different backgrounds who come to Las Vegas to live out their fantasy by attending James’ basketball camp. Production will begin next summer, when James can become a free agent.

James is experienced in front of the camera. Along with appearing in numerous TV commercials, he has hosted “Saturday Night Live” and ESPN’s ESPY Awards.

Producer Brian Grazer is convinced the All-Star forward can make the transition to the big screen, as rapper Eminem did in “8 Mile.” Grazer also produced that picture.

“I initially sought LeBron out because my 8-year-old son, Thomas, and I were just dying to meet him,” Grazer said. “But I felt that beyond being one of the world’s great superstar athletes, here was someone so relaxed and comfortable with himself that he would have the capability to be that way on screen. Later, when I watched him host ‘Saturday Night Live,’ and saw his advertising work, it was clear he can do this.”

James will be an executive producer on the project along with his business manager, Maverick Carter.

This summer, James has been promoting “More Than a Game,” a documentary which chronicles how he and four childhood friends achieved their dream of winning a high school national championship. The film opens Oct. 2.

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