Our Daily Dread: The guy who’ll pull us out of the economic depression: Jimmy Johnson?

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I have no clue what to do with my 401(k). Which, at last pained glance, was about a 101(z).

But I sure as heck know I’m not going to let Jimmy Johnson tell me how to piss it away.

When he was “calling the shots” with the Dallas Cowboys, Johnson’s better trades were probably … none. Owner Jerry Jones pulled the strings.

When he’s making picks on the NFL on Fox set, Johnson’s better exchanges were probably … can’t think of any. Usually, Michael Strahan, Howie Long, Terry Bradshaw or even Curt Menefee make more sense.

When he’s advising anyone on how to spend their money in the stock market, Jimmy Johnson better be serious.

Not that one equates to another — but yes, we are implying that — we still are confused: Why is a former football coach selling infomercial viewers as someone who you can trust with your money? It comes up again because the company in question, Better Trades, is pushing hard again in 2010, having more dazzling seminars in the Carlsbad/San Diego/Escondito area — near you, kinda — and wants you to know more about ‘em (linked here).

How ’bout them seminars?!?!

In the same way you probably wouldn’t buy a Deion Sanders Rolling Hot Dog Cooker just because you had some success with the George Foreman Grill, what makes you think getting stock advice from a former NFL and current TV analyst like Jimmy Johnson will change your financial future?

(Lenny Dykstra, are you listening?)

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Again, we have no Better Business Bureau connections. And we can’t always trust information that’s out there on the Internet (right or wrong). Especially from a guy who has gone from the NFL sideline to someone looking like Oral Roberts.

We have a good nose, and we smell something about as fishy as something JJ would pull up on the side of his boat off the Florida Keys. This is more financially flamable than a can of 99-Cent Store hairspray.

Let’s hear more from unsatisfied customers?

There’s a website that exist called BetterTradeScam.com (linked here) It’s a typo. Kinda. It really is BetterTradesCam — the Cam doesn’t have an “s” in front of it to spell “Scam.”

That’s just poor planning right there.

Think about how much better trading advice you get from that E*Trade baby in the high-chair before you read further, shankasaurus …

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Someone asks Wiki.Answers.com: Is Better Trades a scam? (linked here).
Answer posted: “If they really figured out a way to consistently beat the market, they would be a hedge fund – not trying to sell a get rich quick scheme to anyone watching their informercial. Every trade has a 50/50 chance of going up or down. I’m guessing people that can’t get this system to work are told they need more coaching and training (ie they need to spend more money). I hated Jimmy Johnson as the Cowboys coach, and I hate him even more now.”

More than a year ago, a blogger named NotASportsBlog.com (linked here) had a warning posted about this company. Some of those who responded:

“This fast talking has-been coach has one thing in common with the Mr. Madoff, they are cool dudes with no consience. Johnson is selling you a scheme of buying puts and calls in the most riskiest of all investments, “Option Trading”. You might as well go to your local casino. How the SEC does not shut this clown down is amazing. Attend one of his statewide “seminars” a/k/a get you there and then he’ll get you fired up as if it were a 2 minute drill at the super bowl and you have a 9 point lead. His handlers will be there taking your money. # 1 Scam of 2009. Stay Away and report this dude to the SEC.”

Another:

“I cannot believe the experience I had North of Boston at a Jimmy Johnson seminar called Better Trades”. This guy and his staff are scamming people who have no idea how risky his advice could be. My advice to anyone thinking about or considering paying this guy money to enter the biggest casino in the world and playimg “Roulette” is “DON’T DO IT”. This entity should be reported to the SEC before another Bernie Madoff tragedy emerges.”

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Thank you, may I have another:

“It’s a shame that Jimmy Johnson decided to sell out his fellow countrymen in these bad economic times. The “advice” that is being promoted in this infomercial is dangerous. There have been many studies done that prove it is impossible to time the market. This is incredibly irresponsible advice. He should be ashamed of himself. Is he that hard up for cash that it’s worth trashing his reputation and maybe causing people to lose their life savings? It’s really sad.”

More searches for “Better Trades Scam” produce this one (linked here):

“The part they fail to tell you is that upon attending that free seminar, you will be pressured to part with your hard earned money in order to attend their “real” 2-day seminar. How much, you might ask? How does $3,000 sound?? You read right, $3,000! These people are experienced salesmen that really lay it on thick and won’t take no for an answer. So you end up giving them your $3,000 in hopes that you will make much more than that once you learn their system. But wait, there’s more. After you reluctantly give up your $3,000, they hit you with another bombshell. In order to really make the information that you learned in the seminar work, you need the trading software. You know, the one they show on the infomercial that lets you know when to trade? Well apparently that software is sold separately for a whopping $6,000! Well, what good will it do you to have wasted the $3,000 on the seminar, if you don’t have the software you need to make money. Are you starting to see the patterns in the Better Trades scam? It’s the infamous bait and switch tactic applied over and over.”

Why would Jimmy Johnson want to lend his name, face and reputation to this kind of business?

We’ll leave that one floating out there and see if we can come up with some answers….

Meanwhile, back to your ballgame…. But first, another commercial message:

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