It’s Out of the Question: A commissioner who knows his stuff in the McCourt of law

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Who’s this Scott Gordon, and how could he the missing piece to completing the most important transaction in L.A. sports history this young decade?

He’s not the backup point guard from Oklahoma City who the Lakers think they sign for the veteran’s minimum? The Dodgers’ call-up from Albuquerque to replace George Sherrill? On the Kings’ radar if Kovalehuk chucks the whole idea of coming here?

Try the L.A. Superior Court commissioner barked loudly from the bench this week at Frank and Jamie McCourt — he told the current Dodger caretakers that they’d best get this divorce liquidation proposition figured out fast or else “the parties are unintentionally pushing the court toward an interesting position – selling the asset which is being fought over” – but wouldn’t it have had more bite if that actually came from the baseball commissioner, Bud Selig, who refuses to have an opinion?

“Take Gordon’s remark as, more than anything else, a reflection on how acrimonious — and, really, tedious — this entire proceeding has become,” writes L.A. native, Minneapolis law student and federal judge intern Josh Fisher on his astute blog DodgerDivorce.com. “While I get the strategic value of having six more weeks before this thing hits trial, I get the sense that most everyone connected to this saga is ready for the endgame to at least, you know, begin.”

So, is it game on? Or can either of them afford to risk their non-liquid assets and their battered reps to play this all out before a magistrate?

== So there’s this jagged fan in Jacksonville who launched a cartoonish website called NoWayLA.com, objecting to overtures that the Jaguars can be coaxed from their swamp-land paradise to sign up for Fast Eddie’s City o’ Industry strip mall, trying to cement his case by pointing out that no pro football team has survived here – not the Rams, Raiders, Chargers or Dons.

Then someone at LAObserved.com added in the XFL’s Xtreme and the USFL’s Express, and, perhaps the 1926 Buccaneers, plus the Dragons of the aborted Spring Football League.

Have we already forgotten the AFL’s Avengers, and their predecessors at the Sports Arena, the Cobras?

The point is: If you’re up to the task of trashing SoCal pro pigskin, make sure all 10 fingers are free to count on, OK?

And don’t forget: We’re fourth in line for a UFL franchise . . .

== So this Thierry Henry lad is going to Beckham-ize kickball on the East Coast – by using his hands?

== A major website poses this one: What’s better for the growth of United States soccer – Landon Donovan playing in the MLS or playing in one of Europe’s top leagues? What about phrasing it this way: What’s better for Donovan’s on-and-off-and-on relationship with Bianca Kajlich?

== Who needs Raja Bell?

== Can Kobe send his helicopter to the Pacoima In-N-Out drive-thru to snatch Shannon Brown from his summer job and bring him back to the roster? If not, ask his crew manager, Tracy McGrady?

== Why hasn’t head-butting caught on sooner in the Tour de France?

thomas.hoffarth@dailynews.com

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