In Sunday’s Daily News, we’ll explore the latest in how the NFL will or won’t return to Los Angeles.
There are the usual suspects — the Vikings, Chargers, Jaguars — who are using L.A. as leverage for getting a new stadium built for them in their hometowns. That’s just part of the process. And we have a couple of potential stadiums in Southern California waiting to start construction.
And just because an existing team moves to L.A. to set up a new home office doesn’t mean it has to keep its old name.
Although, the Los Angeles Jaguars really wouldn’t be so bad. There’s a built-in automotive sponsorship waiting to happen.
Considering that the Cleveland Browns moved to Baltimore and became the Ravens, nevermore are we stuck with the nickname attached to the thatch basket on our porch.
With that, we humbly suggest a rebranding of the next team that relocates here from this Top 10 list:
== Los Angeles Cannabis: With the smoke from Prop 19 hanging over us, vote for this one. Don’t wait to climb on the bandwagon – get on the “Canna-bus.” All games start at 4:20 p.m. Go, Green Machine.
== Los Angeles Recyclers: Another shade of green. It would fit the situation, since we’re inheriting a used team and making it new again. Unlike the old Saints’ fans, you’d bring your own shopping bags to wear over your head when they go bad. Maybe there’s a hybrid name even better?
== Los Angeles Key Grips: An homage to the movie industry. We could also get behind the Best Boys, Stunt Riggers or CGI. In that vein, a spin off some identifiable TV show name would be considered: Los Angeles NCIS or Los Angeles Law & Order. And then there’s the Nip/Tuckers. Or the Los Angeles Baywatchers, because it’s never too old to see David Hasselhoff flipping a coin, and Pamela Anderson bending over to pick it up.
== Los Angeles Aftershocks: The scoreboard will have the down, distance and Richter-scale reading of the seismic tackle.
== Los Angeles Aristocrats: Please, keep the joke alive.
== Los Angeles Luchadors: The perfect alliteration for a connection to the Hispanic fan base, and perhaps the most unique mascot in the league.
== Los Angeles Shredders: Kid-friendly, without stooping to resurrect some dinosaur.
== Los Angeles Chicken ‘N’ Waffles: The only thing better than In ‘N’ Out.
== Los Angeles Karma: Bad karma if you don’t consider it.
== Los Angeles Road Ragers: Back in 1998, fresh after the Rams and Raiders departure, the NFL told L.A. it wouldn’t get another team again unless it built a new stadium. Downtown L.A., Carson and Ontario volunteered right away. We were disappointed that the San Fernando Valley couldn’t step up. Especially after we came up with a nickname at the time — The Los Angeles Road Rage. We float this again, adding the “rs” to the end, since everyone seems to love a rager.