The latest edition of ESPN’s magazine is called the “movie spectacular,” and getting past the cover is a chore.
Why would Sharon Stone from “Basic Instinct” be on the front? Because it’s really skiier Linday Vonn.
OK … we’re ready to play along.
How about Tank Johnson, Dhani Jones and Chad Ochocinco recreating an elevator scene from “The Hangover.” Suspend your imagination there.
Ryan Miller, the Buffalo Sabres goalie, as Bill Murray’s Carl Spackler in “Caddyshack.” The eyes give it away.
Seattle Mariners pitchers Felix Hernandez and Garrett Olson as Jules and Vincent in “Pulp Fiction.” Hernandez kind of pulls it off; Olson …
Clippers guard Baron Davis, and pro skateboarder Terry Kennedy, as Doc and Marty McFly in “Back To the Future.” Again, Davis hardly looks like Christopher Lloyd, and Brown isn’t even close to Michael J. Fox … that should have been Steve Nash).
== The first runner-up to Vonn: Danica Patrick, as Christina Applegate from “Anchorman.” Nice legs. Great attitude. Again.
Another feature of this magazine’s issue is a poll: On a scale of 1 to 10, how accurately did Hollywood portray you in your movie:
== Muhammad Ali, from “Ali”: “Nine and a half. Great movie, but Will Smith wasn’t as pretty as me.”
== Leigh Anne Tuohy, from “The Blind Side”: “Nine and a half. It was scarily authentic. Sandra Bullock copied my nail color, my eye shadow palette, everything.”
== Jim Brown, from “The Express,” about Syracuse’s Ernie Davis: “Eight. Was it a bad performance? No. Was it excellent? No. But was it very good and a fair portrayal? Yes.”
== Bob Muzikowski, from “Hardball,” where Keanu Reaves played him: “Five. It’s my story, but only half of it was true. That’s why I sued. I’m a better hitter than Keanu Reeves. With a better arm, by the way.”
== Tony Alva, from “Lords of Dogtown”: “Eight. The way Victor Rasuk transformed from a New York City basketball kid to a stoner California surfer was impressive.”
== Jackie Kallen, the boxing promoter in “Against the Ropes”: “Three. Meg Ryan got my Midwestern accent, but she put too much emphasis on sex appeal. I don’t believe I did that.”
== Jake LaMotta, in “Raging Bull”: “Ten. It was perfect. When I got through with Robert De Niro, he could have fought professionally.”
== Rudy Ruettiger, played by Sean Austin in “Rudy”: “Nine. We kept the integrity of the journey intact, but we had to make some embellishments for the story to work.”