Are you simply clueless, or do you really want to get into a Twitter war with Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe when he puts his UCLA education to some use?
Earlier this week, the Philly-born and O.C-raised basher (linked here) did a single-boot takedown on the quartet of Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, Logan Mankis and Vincent Jackson, saying their “greed” to cut an inside deal has effectively held up the NFL collective bargaining agreement (linked here).
“Congrats (to the four) for being ‘that guy’,” Kluwe tweeted, then referring to them in hashtag reference as a feminine hygiene product.
Jim Rome ate it up, on both his radio and TV shows. Kluwe’s Twitter account was leaped upon like an open spot in the In-And-Out drive-through lane.
As an encore, he brilliantly started a counterattack (linked here) against Nate Jackson, a one-time Denver Broncos’ tight end who wrote a piece for Deadspin.com entitled: “Dear Chris Kluwe: When We Want The Punter’s Opinion, We’ll Ask For It (We Won’t),” with this paragraph:
“Yes, I am a punter. Yes, I don’t run routes, or zone block, or cover receivers. Apparently, though, neither did you, which is the only explanation for your total lack of statistics.”
He also managed to slip in: “I don’t really care what you or anyone else thinks about what I say or when I say it. If I see something greedy, hypocritical, or just plain stupid, I’m going to call out whoever the offending party happens to be.
“I’ve done it to the owners; I’ve done it to the NFL front office; and I’ll certainly do it if I see it happen with the players. And make no mistake: Trying to hold up the settlement of a CBA affecting almost 1,900 players just so four can get special treatment is pretty much the definition of greed. Whether it was instigated by their attorneys, agents, or whoever, it’s still a douchebag move to make.”
Who’s next in line for a coffin-corner kick in the groin?
You dare question the intelligence of someone who has earned more than 8,000 achievement points in the MMORPG World of Warcraft video game, where, as a troll rogue named Loate, he has been a member of one of the formerly top-ranked U.S. guilds, The Flying Hellfish, for more than two years?
You mock how iTune-d in a bass player could be having formed the alternative rock band, Tripping Icarus, and whose first full-length LP, “Perfect Citizen,” is coming out this fall, with or without an NFL season (linked here)?
You snicker at someone who bares his soul each week on Minneapolis radio for “The Half-Assed Morning Show” when he goes by the name “Chris Warcraft”?
He’s a special-ops kid all right.
The Special Teams Player of the Game from the 2003 Silicon Valley Football Classic when the Bruins somehow couldn’t keep up with Fresno State (a miserable 14-9 loss) is the same guy who discovered that he could lead all NFL specialists with a $5 mil a year salary – considering the Buffalo Bills pay a combined $5.4 mil for kicker Rian Lindell and punter Brian Moorman, the second- and third-highest-paid specialists.
So figure it out before the next snap.
In this crafted game of Kluwe, you’re either trying to do the safety dance, or you’re more likely just more potential collateral damage.