Add it to the wish list: A Tour de France stationary bike

About a month ago, comedian Daniel Tosh had the first Tosh.0 Marathon in Hermosa Beach — giving him enough material for his Comedy Central show. The key component of it: No one had to leave that area in front pier. It consisted of a bunch of stationary running machines, and the first to finish the 26.2 miles was the winner.

Of course, a Kenyan was victorious.

Our next visual challenge: The Tour de France. Without going to France.

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Luckily, the ad just popped up for this on ESPN’s “SportsCenter,” so sorry if you’ve already cycled through this one, but the British guy selling the Tour de France stationary bike has caught my attention.

Yes, two weeks after the race has ended. But I’m gearing up for 2012 and looking for a cool yellow tight shirt.

The Pro-Form bike has a lot of features, but since I can’t understand the narrator very well — he’s very much a mix of Paul Sherwin and Phil Liggett, with a bit of the Red Stripe Guy thrown in there to avoid having to pay a real spokesman — I’ll have to wing it a bit.

We’ve surmised it has a 20 percent incline as well as a 20 percent decline, “so you’ll experience exactly what the road does.”

And it’s powered by Google maps virtual cycle tours. And it has a pretty bitchin’ computer on the handlebars that allows you to do pretty much what you’d do at the 24 Hour Fitness, except this one had no stinky stains on it, and there’s some kind of hydrolic lift behind the seat to really make it feel like a Disneyland Adventure ride.

Find it at ProForm.com along with other ellipticals, treadmills, exercise bikes, ab gliders and other Jillian Michaels-endorsed products. Or call 800.470.1703, chappy.

Order “now” for $0 down (that can’t be good once we find out the total price) and a “free upgrade” to rush shipping (doesn’t the thing just pedal itself to your porch?)

OK, now full disclosure: It’s not bad at $1,299. Plus some service plans that you can add from between $109.95 to $379.99. A Pro-Form specialist will also chat on the website with you if you like.

And consider the treadmill accessory kit discounted at $25: a white towel, some surge protector keys, a tube of lubrication and a surge protector.

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