It’s Out of the Question: This doesn’t mean John Wooden’s yellow seat will suddenly turn flourescent lemon, does it?

There are defining moments when a school should always ask “What Would John Wooden Do?” before announcing any kind of public decision that could result in campus-wide embarrassment.

Like, who’s bright idea was it again at UCLA to approve wearing Zubaz-type fluorescent body-builder shorts along with the Olivia Newton John sleeved shirts during the team’s Pac-12 conference tournament games?

Just because five other schools tied to the same apparel company are doing, does it mean they ll won’t be part of a classless-action NCAA investigation into a fasionista lack of control?

== If Duke Coach K is miffed about having his team get swallowed up in a court-storming mess, why not just instruct his Blue Devils to simply win every game?

Or, simply stay behind the row of yellow-jacketed security personnel – which is what happened when Virginia beat ‘em on Thursday night?

== Did Magic Johnson need some assistance in filing  the paperwork that should have put him on the ballot for the L.A. mayoral race next week? Or he just forgot to tweet that out to the proper authorities?

Still cool to write him in, correct?

== When Dennis Rodman tells Kim Jong Un that he has a “friend for life” after their personal visit in North Korea, would it behoove President Obama to have “The Worm” on speed dial in case there’s a desperate need for a diplomatic defender of American freedom?

And what’s in our budget to prevent our defense department from trading Andrew Bynum to the Pyongyang Pygmies for a couple of loose drones at this point, if only to preserve Philadelphia’s global independence?

== If all it took was a governmental sequestration to cut funding that had been allocated for stealth bomber flyovers at the Rose Bowl or any other sporting events, what took so long?

== Mentally, or dentally, what can Rory McIlroy do to numb the pain of his game? How does that brand-new Nike gap wedge feel if you tried slamming it against your jaw?

Seriously, he can’t find a retired dentist on a Florida golf course in the gallery to give him some relief?

== So the true NFL Combine measurement of Manti Te’o’s manliness isn’t so much his time in the 40, but the hours of potential devious and distracting promiscuity he’d bring in a locker room full of 52 teammates?

That’s not the kind of thing that would ever come out in a Wonderlic test?

== Danica Patrick just turned up positive on a NASCAR test for being a female driver, and she’s still allowed to compete?

== Considering Landon Donovan sitting out the first month of the Galaxy’s season as he recovers from a self-described “burnout,” does that imply he’ll also avoid watching MLS games on his TV, like most of the rest of the planet?

== So now big, bad, rule-breaking St. Mary’s doesn’t have a prayer of being invited to join the Catholic 7 / New Big East?

== The “Harlem Shake” has nothing to do with Globetrotters thanking every member of the Washington Generals after each game for being good sports?

Facebook Twitter Plusone Digg Reddit Stumbleupon Tumblr Email