Five things we learned this past weekend, April 5-7: The Clippers can banner-up the wall, and Sheila Kelly is our pick for the new USC women’s hoop coach (OK, Haden?)

Just a little help staying ahead of the sports world learning curve heading back into the work week:

Kobe Bryant pulls his jersey over his head after being called for a foul on Chris Paul during Sunday’s Lakers-Clippers game at Staples Center. On national TV. So everyone could see the Clippers wrap up the Pacific Division title. (AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill)

1. The Clippers have a title. La. De. Doh. Will they put up a banner to express their superiority over the Lakers because of it?

Billy Crystal gives his approval of the Clippers’ divisional title to Chris Paul in the closing seconds of Sunday’s game. (AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill)

What the heck is a Pacific Division championship worth these days on the open market anyway? Chris Paul celebrated by holding up a T-shirt that read “Can’t Stop Los Angeles.” After their 109-95 thumping of the Lakers for the fourth win against their Staples Center bunkmates this year, the Clippers tried to act all cool. Like this was supposed to happen. Heck, the Lakers are third in the division. That’s not a bad thing, right? There are five games left on the Lakers’ regular-season calendar, and

2. Best video of the weekend: From “Saturday Night Live,” not just spoofing the Rutgers men’s basketball coach situation, but … Sheila Kelly is our new choice to fill that USC women’s coaching opening (or, at least, Melissa McCarthy). Pat Haden, get on it:

 

3. A Honus Wagner card — the famous T206 version from 1909, which apparently is one of only 50 in existence after an original run of 200 before it was halted because of its ties to a tobacco company — sold for $2.1 million over the weekend in New Jersey.
A version of that card once owned by Wayne Gretzky and Bruce McNall, sold for about $2.7 million in 2007, so there aren’t any records broken here. Just a reminder that some people have disposable income and can’t get over the fact their moms threw away their shoeboxes full of Topps cards at one point and are dead set on buying their childhood back at any expense. Whatta say we take that Wagner card and do with it as it was intended — roll it up and smoke it.

4. Jeremy Lin went on “60 Minutes” Sunday night and admitting that his Asian heritage didn’t help him land on any major Division I teams. “I think the obvious thing, in my mind, that I was Asian-American, which is a whole different issue,” he said. “I think that was a barrier.” So, in the end, he thinks going to Harvard wasn’t a smart move? He can always get a graduate degree at UNLV in hotel management if he really thinks that’ll help pad his resume.

5. The NHL says the 2014 Winter Classic will be at the Big House — Michigan Stadium in Ann Arbor — with the Detroit Red Wings taking on the Toronto Maple Leafs. What, no Kings-Ducks outdoor festival? Maybe. The word is it could be announced as soon as next week that Southern California’s two NHL squads will have their own outside game at Dodger Stadium — and at night. The 2014 schedule has them meeting on Jan. 25, and our Doppler radar predicts the temperatures will be somewhere between 50 and 65 degrees, with high visibility on television. If it prevents a motocross, monster truck rally or even a Wrestlemania event from returning to or entering the Ravine, we’re so there.

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