He could do the half-manly (and half-equine) thing and admit his biogenetic guilt, then attempt to flex his plea bargaining skills while seeking asylum in a Moscow, Idaho airport.
He could power through a Kenny Chesney concert, blurt out a few choice words into Madonna’s iPhone about Brian Cashman, Bud Selig and Ryan Braun, and see how far that gets him.
Or he could be a real dumb bell – continue to grovel, then decide to fight a predictable lifetime MLB “best interest of baseball” ban to the finish, burning through all the hundreds of millions he has left in his bank on lawyer fees, with a plan on making a comeback with Roger Clemens and the Houston Astros in 2016.
He says he intends to be in the Yankees’ lineup on Monday in Chicago (missing this West Coast swing).
“I am mentally prepared to play for five more years,” he said Friday after his latest minor-league rehab/witness protection program stint. “It’s not time for me to hang it up. I have a lot more fight in me.”
That’s the problem.
Seeing A-Rod famously going down in flames while swinging and missing now is far too early in the season for what Yankee fans would expect.
Spare the A-Rod, spoil the others who are also facing 50-game suspensions – with the ridiculous concession that they can return for possible playoff games?
== Who’s less trustworthy: Ryan Braun, Marion Jones, Manny Ramirez, Metta World Peace or Dennis Rodman?
All of ‘em, to one degree or another, were included in a survey compiled by a sports marketing research firm called Repucom, measuring the popularity of nearly 3,000 “celebrities.”
Throw in Lance Armstrong, Michael Vick, John Daly and Pete Rose as the top athletes who qualify for owning such a damning reputation at this point.
Jones, the former Thousand Oaks sprinter, ranked the highest of them all.
Braun is the latest addition — although we’re positive he’ll deny it.
== By the time Bradley Cooper lands the lead in “The Riley Cooper Story,” won’t this gaffe eventually become remembered more as a teaching moment than a reason to publically ostracize him?
Then again, if the Eagles really don’t want to deal with him, why not just deal him to the apparent NFL PC-named Redskins?
== C’mon, when was the last time you Brees’d out of a food place without tipping on a take-out order?
== You really have to go all the way back to 2011 when UCLA was ranked ahead of USC in USA Today preseason poll?
== As for the video and photos circulating now showing off the new athletic facilities at the University of Oregon – why does USC continue to promote Nike products as its official school provider, when all the proceeds go toward building up one of its main competitors? There’s no incentive to change and endorse another fine company like, say, PF Flyers?
== Maybe the vibrations are average, if not actually good, with the Dodgers’ signing of Brian Wilson. But wouldn’t it be nice if he could actually make a difference in the pennant race?
== This is Forbes’ list of the “Most Miserable Sports Cities 2013”: 1. Seattle, 2. Atlanta, 3. Phoenix, 4. Buffalo, 5. San Diego, 6. Cleveland, 7. Kansas City, 8. Houston, 9. Washington D.C., 10. Denver.
The common denominator? All these terrible places have NFL teams.
Still itchin’ to get that miserable pro football thing back in L.A.?