Heard about the newest cocktail they’re serving at Arizona bars this weekend?
It’s the Bloody Dodger.
Korbel, with a splash of chlorine.
With Hanley Ramirez’s bat to stir it up.
Diamondbacks fans can go cry in it.
Dodgers fans can continue pour it all over themselves in celebration.
Put it in a shot glass for Arizona senior senator, former presidential candidate and American war hero John McCain.
He’s apparently willing to take the bullet for sending out a tweet calling the Dodgers a “no-class act” and “a bunch of overpaid, immature, arrogant spoiled brats” because a group of them dodged security, ran out of the clubhouse and dove into the Chase Field right-field swimming pool after clinching the NL West title on Thursday afternoon.
Maybe McCain, one of Congress’ own overpaid numbskulls, has a Twitter account attached to his video poker phone app and sent that by mistake?
McCain’s divine Diamondbacks took a dive in the division race, having once had the lead for the first couple of months before cannonballing out of contention.
We praise McCain’s resume, that shows he went to battle to preserve the Dodgers’ right to party hearty with respect and dignity.
So this is how the Dodgers repay the favor?
Yes, and with plenty of interest, apparently mostly from the Arizona media, swimming in their own cesspool of ignorance.
D’backs feelings were hurt. They asked the Dodgers not to do any celebrating on the field. They did it anyway.
Listen, you put a swimming pool in your backyard and don’t expect neighbors to scale the fence?
Why does any big-league team have such a thing in the first place? They’ve already lowered their own standards.
This isn’t Wrigley Field ivy we’re talking about. It’s a place that surely hundreds of Dbacks fans have already created their own private whirlpool with recycled beer.
Be glad Dodgers players weren’t dropping their pants and relieving themselves in Lake Gibson.
Why weren’t the Dbacks upset by the fact Dodgers pitchers hit five of their players, including star attraction Paul Goldschmidt, in the last two games of the series?
Arizona officials should have been there acting as the lifeguards for this pool of tears if they were going to be this over-sensative.
They can call this “tired” and “disrespectful” and “classless.” But that’s ignoring the fact that their former pitcher, Ian Kennedy, once threw at the heads of Yasiel Puig and Zack Grienke in a mid-June game at Dodger Stadium.
After all this, the Dodgers should be thanking the hypersensitive Dbacks for that happening. It’s not a coincidence that these Dodgers turned their season upside down after that, erasing a huge deficit and winning games at a ridiculous rate after that incident.
“That dust-up against Arizona, you hated seeing it, but the next day, you saw real relationships developing in our clubhouse,” Dodgers GM Ned Colletti was saying while drying bubbly out of his eyes in the visiting clubhouse Thursday afternoon.
“We learned a lot about each other that day. Maybe our team wasn’t as tight then, but they got the point.”
Here’s the point: Send the cleaning bill to Mark Walters if there’s any Dodger blue Speedo stuck in the filters. And next time you Dbacks win the NL West at Dodger Stadium, go ahead and climb up to the Hollywood sign and rearrange the letters. Turn over a cart of Dodger Dogs. Pants Tommy Lasorda.
The Dodgers grounds crew might even let you run through the sprinklers if you’re being cool about it.