The Dodgers and Time Warner Cable have actually used real human resources to craft out a press release announcing simultaneously this morning that a company purported to be named Champion Broadband, with customers rumored to exist without forcible existence in Arcadia and Monrovia, have accepted the terms of agreement to carry SportsNet L.A. in advance of the team’s season opening games in Australia.
They’ve tried to pass this off as breaking news. And we’ve just written about it. We’ve both just embarrassed ourselves.
Dominoes did not fall. Floodgates did not open.
The clouds did not part and the voice of Vin Scully did not deem this a moment in Dodger history that could rival anything Kirk Gibson could have imagined possible.
For that Champion Broadband customer who will now get the channel — the company’s dynamic Wikipedia page is a mere 29 words short — please reveal yourself. You are a true champion. If you have the service and didn’t even know it, that’s more likely. Check your phone line. That busy signal may connect you to Yasiel Puig tonight at 1 a.m.
For those who have DirecTV, Dish, Cox, Comcast, Charter, AT&T Uverse, Verizon FiOS or a couple of tin pipes connected to your gas-powered microwave oven, operators are sitting by. You still don’t have the channel, and probably won’t until at least in early April. That’s just how it is, as you may have seen with weekly updates we’ve provided since before the Feb. 25 launch even took place.
Please resume your normal Friday. There’s nothing else to see here. OK, here’s another story about it if you really need an update. And another about how the Dodgers like to spin it. But there’s nothing really to update.