It’s Out of the Question: There has to be a statute of statue limitations, right?

A bronze statue of Los Angeles Lakers and NBA Hall of Fame player Shaquille O’Neal is unveiled in Star Plaza at Staples Center on Friday. (Photo by Hans Gutknecht, Los Angeles Daily News/SCNG) More photos at this link.

Once upon a time in Hollywood, a handprint-footprint double-double outside Grauman’s Theatre is what cemented your legacy. A star on the Walk of Fame was another famous footnote, that you could forever walk on sunshine.
But since Staples Center became a staple of our existence at the dawn of this new century, and our athletes have branded immortality and imperiousness to new levels, we’ve been somehow ushered into this Fawning Bronze Age. Commissioning a supersized likeness of a Southern California sports star and literally putting it on a pedestal, daring the local bird population to christen it in its own special way …
It’s classic false-god idolatry stuff, Hollywood style.
You want a jersey retired? Take a number.
This latest erection of a 1,500-pound Shaq The Redeeming Dunker, meticulously hand-crafted and now hoisted and bolted down above the main entrance, is demiurgic and disconcerting.
First, if by this point in the game you do not have a replica of yourself in Star Plaza, were you really a star?
And second, what kind of insurance premiums did AEG pay as potential compensation for pedestrians who might be taken out if this Shaq thing becomes unhinged during the next L.A. earthquake?
More at this link …

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