No Tony Danza?
The Dodgers announced today the list of Hollywood luminaries -- that's what it says in the press release -- who plan to participate (some will actually wear a glove and compete) in the annual "Hollywood Stars" softball game at 5:15 p.m., before Saturday's Dodger game against Pittsburgh at Dodger Stadium.
Talk about setting the bar low. No Rob Lowe or Sean Astin (see above). Not even Tony Danza and his star on the Walk of Fame to brag about.
Remember, this isn't like the old days, when Sinatra would take his cuts against Nat King Cole, pitching to Jerry Lewis in actual baseball game.
It's not even the days of Billy Crystal playing a decent shortstop.
Go farther down, when it was David Hasselhoff, Robert Wuhl, Keanu Reeves or Molly Sims.
Lower? Randolph Mantooth.
It's softball now, and there's a smaller fence put up so fans can sit in the field before they're chased back to their stadium seats.
The shine came off this annual exhibition long ago, and the McCourts have tried to spice it up in recent years, trying to get the Hollywood community to embrace the team and buy tickets and seen and get seen.
Here's the best they could come up, pretty much in order of star power:
Actors or actresses we've heard of:
James Denton from "Desperate Housewives"
Louis Gossett Jr. (who only plans to be a coach)
Michael Clarke Duncan of “Sin City��?
The "B" list who are supposed to provide the comic relief:
Jimmy Kimmel from "Jimmy Kimmel Live."
Adam Carolla from "The Adam Carolla Show"
Sarah Silverman from "School of Rock" and her own comedy specials.
Former athletes who agreed to share their star power:
Mia Hamm of USA Women’s Soccer (happens to be married to Nomar Garciaparra)
Former Dodger third baseman Ron Cey
Former Cy Young Award pitcher Bret Saberhagen
Current mayor of Los Angeles who has been in Sacramento this week trying to take over the school district:
Antonio Villaraigosa
A formidable infield that we've actually heard of but now they need this exposure to help their IMDB.com resume:
Jonathan Silverman: Comes every year because he's available and can play shortstop.
Mario Lopez: Last seen on "ESPN Hollywood" and embarassed by any "Saved By The Bell" references. But has big muscles.
James Van Der Beek: Pushing sales of “Dawson’s Creek��? DVD boxed set, made a great catch tearing down the fence in the 2004 game (above).
Corbin Bernsen: He's listed as being connect to “Psych." Is that a movie or TV show?
Those who should be embarassed to even considering attending, but must have good agents:
Matt Gallant, host of "American Inventor"
Brooke Burke, host of CBS' "Rockstar"
Brian White of "Family Stone"
Carlos Mencia of "Mind of Mencia��?
Shane Powers of “Survivor Exile Island��?
Kendra Wilkinson of “Girls Next Door��?
Wolfgang Bodison of “Akeelah and the Bee��?
Tony Potts of "Access Hollywood��?
Michael Rosenbaum of “Smallville��?
Scott Patterson of "Gilmore Girls��?
Larry Joe Campbell of “According to Jim��?
Dave Annable of “Brothers and Sisters��?
Tony Todd of “Little Big League��?
Jen Finnigan from "Close to Home"
Nico from Latino 96.3 will emcee.
Be sure to arrive in time for the introductions. It may be the only applause they get all night.
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