What's your cup size?

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For Cristie Kerr, it's ginormous. How she manages to hoist this beast after winning the LPGA's Canadian Women's Open in London, Canada is pretty impressive.

Now, compare what she won Sunday to the hardware taken home by other champions on this day, and notice that the event they win isn't necessarily proportional to the thing they give 'em to take home...

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OK, this may be more obscene. How about this monster urn that 14-year-old Kimberly Kim of Hawaii has to stuff in her dufflebag and take home after winning the 106th U.S. Women's Amateur golf tournament in North Plaines, Ore. Don't smile too big. You'll scratch the thing up with your braces ...

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Here's what England's Simon Dyson was left kissing after winning the Dutch Open PGA European Tour golf tournament in Zandvoort, Netherlands. Kind of a mini-Stanley Cup, eh? You'd think it'd be some sort of giant wooden shoe. Good thing he wasn't playing golf in the U.S. Sunday or else he'd get stuck with ...

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.. This converted cigarette lighter/ash tray that Dean Wilson from Kaneoahe, Hawaii had to look happy about getting after he won the PGA's International golf tournament at Castle Pines in Colorado. Careful not to set it down or you'll trample on it....

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For winning the ATP's Rogers Cup in Toronto, Roger Federer got to show his crystal ball to two Royal Canadian Mounted Police officers, who'll escort him all the way back to Switzerland to make sure he's not greasing that thing up with liquids that'll hold him up through customs. By the way, what's the deal with Mounties and winning stuff in Canada? Go back to our LPGA winner again ....

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Cristie Kerr, with those bedroom eyes, shows some real strength lifting that silver sucker, and Dudley Dolittle in the background isn't going to help her?

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For winning the WTA's JPMorgan Chase Open in Carson, Russia's anorexic Elena Dementieva has to cradle her new wax fruit holder. Isn't that a pain in the glass?You wonder why Anna Kournikova didn't try harder to win these women's tennis events when this was the payoff ...

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After she conquered the Nordic Light Open in Stockholm, China's Jie Zheng got a salad bowl trophy and a picture with Richard Gere. Oh, wait. That's Bjorn Borg ... Maybe Anna could have tried harder to win in Sweden ...


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Tommy Johnson Jr.'s reward for winning the Lucas Oil NHRA Nationals in Brainerd, Minn., was a bottle of Gatorade from the Brainerd 7-Eleven. In his left hand, that's probably the trophy, but it looks more like the stickshift from hid ride that he just ripped out ...

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Sprint car driver Donny Schatz of Fargo, N.D. shows way too much affection for the trophy given to him after he won the Knoxville Nationals in Iowa. But then, if you're from North Dakota hanging out in Iowa, you can see why that'd look pretty good at about 2 in the morning after a 12-pack of Miller Genuine Draft ... At least he wasn't in Brainerd. You betcha. ...

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And finally, the trophy for goofiest looking trophy goes to A.J. Allmendinger, after he won the Champ Grand Prix of Denver auto race. A.J. was so please he won this piece of the patio slate that he ...


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... shared his champagne with with Miss Grand Prix Denver, Lauren Gardner. Third place finisher-Dan Clarke even got in some spray.
As for Ms. Gardner ... she'll make someone a fine trophy wife someday.


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Tom Hoffarth writes about sports and sports media for the Los Angeles Daily News.

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This page contains a single entry by Tom Hoffarth published on August 13, 2006 8:50 PM.

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