That's phat
Right about this time each year, this same press release comes poking its way into the in-basket from something called the Center for Consumer Freedom. And the point this "watchdog" group is trying to make: According to current stupid government standards, those NFL players you're watching are overweight.
Oh, wait. They're not just fatties. They're super fat. Really, freakin' fat. (But not Stuart Scott phat). And the government is stupid. (Did we just repeat ourselves?)
This Body Mass Index scale the g-men use is apparently so out of wack, the CCF contends, that it's hurting the restraunt business, food suppliers ... the people that the CCF stands up for!
According to the BMI, guys like Tom Brady and Reggie Bush are overweight, and Donovan McNabb is down-right obese. And we know that's not true, right? BMI doesn't take into account muscle mass, and that's where most of these guys carry it, right?
Thus, athletes today have "fallen victim" to this measurement, the CCF contends.
If you care about such fatty matters, someone at the CCF can answer your questions at (202) 463-7112 or at their website. Otherwise, read on:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: SEPTEMBER 7, 2006
Are You Ready for Some Football… Fatties?
Portly Players Prepare To Grace the Gridiron in Tonight's Season Opener
Washington, DC _ As thousands of loyal fans prepare to descend upon their favorite stadiums and sports bars to catch the first glimpse of football action this week, many of them may be shocked to learn that according to the federal government, many of the NFL's stars have lost the battle of the bulge. Inevitably, this year's Super Bowl champions may have to can the trip to Disneyworld and book a stay at the fat farm.
Using a standard called the Body Mass Index (BMI), the federal government places these fine-tuned athletes in the official "fatties" category by taking only height and weight (not muscle mass) into consideration. A BMI over 25 is "overweight" and one higher than 30 is "obese." So at 6' and 203 pounds, rookie sensation Reggie Bush of the Saints tips the BMI scale at 27. Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb takes the prize at 6'2", 240 pounds. Those stats give the pro-bowler a BMI of 31, earning him the title of "obese."
Aside from their pigskin-tossing prowess, quarterbacks Tom Brady of the Patriots and Brett Favre of the Packers also share XXL waistlines, according to the flawed government standards. Using the BMI, these grade-A athletes are "grade-A" fatties. Even controversial wide receiver Terrell Owens of the Cowboys-known for his physical talent and bad attitude-can't get his agent to talk him out of the overweight category. T.O. weighs in with a BMI of almost 28! Apparently T.O. stands for Totally Overweight?
These NFL stars, and many ordinary Americans, have fallen victim to the BMI Index, which is the same measure used by the government to claim that 65 percent of Americans are overweight or obese. In 1998 the U.S. government changed the standard by which overweight is measured. As a result, more than 30 million Americans were shifted from a government-approved weight to the overweight category-over night!
"Adding top-performing athletes to the number of overweight Americans further inflates already overblown statistics behind the so-called obesity epidemic," said J. Justin Wilson, senior research analyst at the Center for Consumer Freedom. "If Terrell Owens is fat, then I'm William 'The Refrigerator' Perry." You'd get the joke.
The Center for Consumer Freedom is a nonprofit coalition supported by restaurants, food companies, and consumers, working together to promote personal responsibility and protect consumer choices.