He shall overcomb
It's probably a good thing that Gene Keady was informed today that he'lll receive the John R. Wooden "Legends of Coaching" honor during the Wooden Awards ceremony slated for April 7, 2007 at the Los Angeles Athletic Club.
That gives the retired Purdue basketball coach 176 days to enroll in the Hairclub for Men. Or, 176 shopping days to find just the right hairpiece.
You mean the dude doesn't sport a rug? What loser gave you that idea?
The Wooden Award , basketball's version of the Heisman Trophy ceremony, is an annual big-deal event, so Keady must look his best. He can't just show up and expect people to not snicker under their breath just because he had a 512-270 record in 25 seasons and was a six-time national coahc of the year winner. (Did he ever win a national championship? Uh, better not bring that up).
So it behooves him to look his best when he's there taking the lifetime "legends" achievement trophy, one that's already been given to the likes of Dean Smith, Mike Krzyzewski, Lute Olson, Denny Crum, Mike Montgomery (seriously?) and Jim Boeheim.
(And not Steve Lavin?)
By the way, did you know that Keady, a football player at Kansas State, never played the game of basketball at the high school, college or professional level? Someone found that in his bio on Wikipedia.
Anyway, we've dug up this David Letterman top 10 list from April 26, 2000 entitled "Top Ten Purdue University Basketball Head Coach Gene Keady Tips For Looking Your Best"
10. Shake head violently. If a single hair moves--keep spraying.
9. You can find some snazzy ties in the stadium lost and found.
8. Always comb with the grain, not against it.
7. Yelling at players makes your face purple -- that's sort of like having a tan.
6. Tight pants highlight the fact you're a member of the "Big Ten."
5. Don't be one of those guys with hair plugs -- I mean, who do they think they're fooling?
4. I live by one simple rule - try to look better than Dick Vitale.
3. On special occasions, I like to use a little eyeliner.
2. Never, under any circumstance, go to Letterman's barber.
1. Forget "six-pack" abs ... just go for the six-pack