2006 at the Sports Movies
Back in June, it was the arrival of "Nacho Libre" that sparked the first debate over what was the best and worst so far for 2006 in the sports movie genre. It also gave us the excuse to show a photo of Ana de la Reguera that could be her calling card if "Monday Night Football" ever needed a real Latino sideline girl.
After writing in today's Daily News about all the frustration we had with 2006 sports flicks that were based on real stories but failed in some ways to deliver the truth, we've got a few lists on what sports did for our entertainment value last year. None may be Oscar-worthy, definitely thick in revisionist history, but many were worth the $10 movie ticket price:
TOP FIVE, OVERALL:
1. "Glory Road"
A story that needed to be told, even with some inaccuracies, about the 1966 Texas Western NCAA basketball championship team. Loved Josh Lucas as Don Haskins, with USC's Tim Floyd as a consultant.
2. "We Are Marshall"
The plane crash that claims the lives of the 1970 Marshall University football team and how they rebuilt. Matthew McConaughey as coach Jack Lengyel and Matthew Fox as assistant Red Dawson were outstanding.
3. "Gridiron Gang"
The Rock tames the deliquent kids at Camp Kilpatrick in Malibu. But did this guy, as coach Sean Porter, really start the football program? No, but we're OK with it. Because it still exists.
4. "Rocky Balboa"
Corny? Sure. Yet it ties together the series that started in 1976. It's over-the-top to hear Jim Lampley call the final bout: "One of the most outrageous and compelling events in boxing," but even more surreal to see Mike Tyson ringside at Mandalay Bay and see that Stu Nahan get a closing credit as the "Computer Fight commentator."
5. "Invincible"
See “Glory Road” in the authenticity department, but at least Marky Mark does a good Vince Papale, avoiding any Dirk Digler relapses. Definitely Disneyfied the bar scenes in South Philly. It ended up as the No. 1 box-office movie two weeks in a row during the fall.
TOP THREE DOCUMENTARIES:
1. "Heart of the Game"
Ludacris narrates in the story about a girls basketball team in Seattle starring Darneila Russell. Says coach Bill Reissler: “I couldn’t care less about winning or losing. But winning is more fun.”
2. "Once in a Lifetime"
The story of how the New York Cosmos came to represent what American soccer was all about: A puff of promotion, then gone, with Pele and a media guy named Steve Ross steering the ship.
3. “In the Crease”
Follow around a traveling 14-year-old hockey team, the California Wave, that practices at a rink in Lakewood and go to the national championships. Oscar-nominated filmmaker Matt Gannon: “We felt like no one had ever taken an inside look at youth sports and what it involves for coaches and families.”
Read on for more lists ....
TOP THREE SLEEPERS (FIND 'EM ON DVD):
1. "The Flying Scotsman"
Based on the story of Scottish cyclist Graeme Obree, who in 1993 broke the world one-hour record on a bike that he constructed out of scrap metal and parts of a washing machine, only to have his title stripped and send him into mental problems.
2. "The World's Fastest Indian"
Anthony Hopkins as Burt Munro, breaking the world land speed record in 1967 on a 1920 Indian motorcycle.
3. "Peaceful Warrior"
A college gymnasts seeks advice from a coach named Socrates (Nick Nolte). Bart Connor added for authenticity.
TOP SEVEN GUILTY PLEASURES (aka: Our seven deadly sins):
1. "Nacho Libre"
Tough to top Jack Black in turqoise spandex. He says he learned “the anaconda squeeze move from a coach in L.A." Coolest thing about the special edition DVDs is an actual luchador mask is included.
2. "Talledega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby"
What does Laughing Clown Malt Liquor taste like?
3. "Stick It"
A rebellious gymnast named Haley Graham (Missy Peregrym) flips out. Jeff Bridges does his best Kurt Russell (from “Miracle”) to be a nasty coach. The music from Adam Ant’s “Goody Two Shoes” works here.
4. "She’s the Man"
Amanda Bynes is all that trying to pass as a male college soccer player. Wear a cup.
5. "Beerfest"
The problem here is you can’t drink beer while you watch the movie because the concession stands don’t sell it.
6. "Akeelah and the Bee"
Is it a sports flick just because it’s on ESPN. Mark Cuban is the executive producer.
7. "Jackass 2"
Extreme sports, to the extreme. Johnny Knoxville was knocked unconsious three times during this one.
WORST FIVE, OVERALL:
1. "The Benchwarmers"
Jon Heder reprises Napolen Dynamite in dumbness, with David Spade and Rob Schneider. But too many weird male-sex references with Sean Salisbury.
2. "Goal: The Dream Begins"
Like a bad Telemundo soap opera. The first of a trilogy. Can't wait to miss the other two.
3. “Crossover”
Let others say it best: Michael Phillips of the Chicago Tribune: “(There is) more swooshing / zapping / whamming sound effects than a year’s worth of ‘The O’Reilly Factor.’ Nathan Lee of the New York Times: "(It) is a decent example of Sidekick Cinema: A movie to glace up at from time to time while you download ring tones or text-message your friends."
4. "Game 6"
Michael Keaton as a playwrite dealing with the 1986 World Series and the Boston Red Sox. We expected something far better with this cast and screenwriter Don DeLillo, but it was just like the ball that went through Buckner's legs: deflating.
5. "Cloud 9"
Burt Reynolds as a women's beach volleyball coach, with Angie Everhardt and Gabby Reece. All that's missing is Tom Arnold. Oh, wait. Here's there, too. Went straight to video at R-rated. For ridiculous.
Honorable mention: The basketball scenes involving Jesse Metcalfe in “John Tucker Must Die,” including a sommersalt to a slam dunk.
MOVIE WE WANTED TO SEE BUT COULDN'T FIND:
1. "Chuch Ball"
With Fred Willard, Gary Coleman, Kareem Abdul Jabbar, Mark Eaton and Hot Rod Hundley, about a Mormon basketball team. We're still on a mission to find it, and will have to check the DVD giveaway shelf.
OUR FAVORITE LINES:
From "Akeelah and the Bee:
Akeelah Anderson (Keke Palmer), when asked by her middle-school principal if she'd go to the local spelling bee: "Why would I want to represent a school that can’t even put doors in the bathroom stalls?”
From "Scary Movie 4":
Shaquille O'Neal: "Boo-ya!" After he throws something that knocks a bank of lights onto the head of Dr. Phil. OK, we only saw that on the TV commercials.
From "Stick It!"
A friend of Haley, at a gymnastics meet after checking out the girls in tight leotards: “How did we not know about this sport?”
From "Talledaga Nights"
Ricky Bobby, after he opened the hook to look at the engine of his new race car: "That’s like looking up Yasmine Bleeth’s skirt”
From "Talledaga Nights"
One of Ricky Bobby's kids after he said a prayer at the dinner table: “You made that grace your bitch.”
