Tell your gal: For Valentine's Day, I should smell like Beckham

Instinctually, we should be dismissing the latest offshoot of Beckhamania that's trying hard to assault our senses before he even lands in L.A. to play for the Galaxy sometime later this summer.
Flipping through the latest issue of Vanity Fair -- why? because we were intrigued by the fact the thing weighed more than the San Fernando Valley phone book and was so full of ads we couldn't find any of the stories -- we came upon eight-page glossy insert for DisneyParks.com telling us that somewhat famous people can actually be Disney characters. After spotting Scarlett Johansson as Cinderella (stunning) and Beyonce as Alice in Wonderland (don't need a looking glass there) we find David Beckham on a white horse as Prince Phillip from Sleeping Beauty slaying the dragon Maleficent. Seems he posed for the pix by famed photog Annie Liebovitz last December in Burgillo Lake, Spain.
Anyone who went to that Galaxy open tryout last weekend at Home Depot Center should have used this technique -- ride in on a white horse waving a sword. It would have made quite an impression on the Galaxy talent coordinators and really scared away the Beckham wannabes.

But then we're in the drug store looking for some legal-sized envelopes and we're stopped in our tracks by a display in the men's smelly department. There sits a new fragrance called "David Beckham Instinct." So you can smell like he does right after running up and down the pitch.
We used to call that Ode de Sweat.
Amazon.com, that famed cosmetic clearing house, has the stuff on sale for $29.51 (down from $55) for 2.5 ounces of spray, and for $37.99 (down from $66) for the 2.5 ounces of eau de toilette spray. Just in case you get impulsive and want to pay full price, there's that option. And if your woman wants to order it for you as a Valentine's Day gift, you can probably have it overnighted. Or, in Beckham's case, based on the photo above, overknighted.
Here's how they're pitching it: "It begins with an invigorating flash of bright Italian bergamot, grapefruit and mandarin leaf notes. Next, an unexpected trio of provocation strikes via a blend of spicy red pimento, warm star anise and fusing cardamom notes. The scent ends with a seductive wave of precious Haiti vetiver, intense patchouli and an almost touchable hint of white amber.”
Sneeze. Cough. Wheeze. Eyes watering.
Now is where you can insert the joke you heard Jay Leno tell on the "Tonight Show" recently: "Old Spice -- Isn't that who David Beckham is married to?"