The Mohr we get together

Comedian Jay Mohr will star in a weekly show, "The Alternative with Jay Mohr," on FoxSports.com starting in early September, as well as write a weekly column for the site. The premise for the 20-minute show is for Mohr to travel primarily around L.A., but also to events across the country, and deliver his take on the news.
"I always stunk at math, but I've always been pretty good with words and this format gives me a good-sized soapbox to stand on," Mohr said. "It's very humbling to make a living writing, after all to paraphrase Bobby Knight: ‘It's something we all learned to do in third grade. '"
Mohr's first column for FoxSports.com took shots to all fields, including Barry Bonds, Michael Vick and the Colorado Rockies' mascot. And it finished with this:
"I will not get into the habit of addressing my critics but this is an exception. For all of you soccer maniacs out there, you need to come down off your high horses. Just because I do not like soccer, does not mean that I do not know how to play soccer. Nor does it mean that I don't "understand" soccer or "appreciate" soccer.
"Soccer — (nee) futbol — is a sport I grew up around. I played it constantly. My Uncle Bob was the head coach at Drew University and my family had season tickets to the New York Cosmos for years. I spent my entire childhood watching Pele pass a ball to Franz Beckenbauer. I watched plenty of Seninho and Rick Davis as a child and even saw Carlos Alberto punch Shep Messing in the back during warm ups once. I know how to play soccer, I appreciate soccer, and I get soccer. I don't like soccer. If soccer is so fantastic, then why isn't it successful here? Maybe if you spent less time on message boards and more time in the seats at a Galaxy game, there might be an MLS five years from now! And stop telling me that proof that soccer must be great is because every other country plays it. Have you seen every other country? C'mon, I'm supposed to get fired up for soccer because they are playing it in Cameroon? I'll stick with running water and baseball."