Oscar predition: Ferrell prostitutes himself ... again ... and again
It's bound to happen sometime during tonight's Academy Awards ceremony: Will Ferrell bounding on stage in his Flint Tropics ABA uniform, spinning a red, white and blue ball on his finger, in some self-promoting skit that leads to a laugh or two but, more importantly, reminds everyone that his movie "Semi-Pro" hits theatres on Friday.
As if we didn't already know.
From the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue cover promo to a spread of him in Jackie Moon character with Heidi Klum, to the ads he's been doing for Old Spice and Budweiser, to the signage at Lakers and Clippers games at Staples Center ... to the banner adds on ESPN.com ... the cover of Entertainment Weekly ...
Someone suggested there should be a way to put out a restraining order to keep Ferrell away from the 1970s....
We cringe and laugh at the same time to see this story pop up on The Onion Sports:
Why not? Look at what he's done for figure skating ("Blades of Glory") and NASCAR ("Tallageda Nights").
"Blades" did make our annual list of the best/worst sports movies. For 2007, let's review what came out and what isn't Oscar worthy. Again:
BEST SPORTS FLICKS OF '07:
1. “Resurrecting The Champ”
Maybe it was the fact Josh Hartnett played a bumbling sports writer at the Denver Times, and Samuel L. Jackson was a heck of a great homeless guy/liar that drew us to a movie based on a true story. Or a true lie.
We want to believe Battlin' Bob Satterfield existed. Did he?
Wrote Maxim's Pete Hammond about the movie: "An engrossing, surprising and moving drama that will restore your faith in the power of movies to tell great human stories. ... Josh Hartnett does some of his best screen work and Samuel L. Jackson has never been better. His brilliant portrait of a forgotten boxer well past his glory days should be remembered at Oscar time."
Too bad it wasn't.
Best line (for us) from the movie: “Your copy is a lot of typing but not much writing. I forgot your piece when I’m reading them" -- Alan Alda, Hartnett's newspaper boss.
2. “The Final Season”
Sean Astin as Kent Stock, the coach in 1990 at Norway High in Iowa. Again, based on a true story. Jim Van Scoyoc (Powers Booth) built the program that won 19 in a row as 1A champions from a school population of 101 and a city population of 586. Rachel Leigh Cook, we liked. Tom Arnold, we could have done without.
Best line (for us) from the movie: “We grow ballplayers here like corn.” -- Booth.
Best was also to see actual documentary footage from KCRG-TV Channel 9 about the real story.
3. “Pride”
Again, it's tough to get into a flick with Tom Arnold in the cast, but Terrence Howard keeps us focused as he starts a black swim team in Philadelphia. Again, we're back to “inspired by a true story” gray area where the real Philadelphia swimming coach, Jim Ellis, says: "At least they got my name right."
A review from The Onion: “(Howard) plays Ellis with a battered dignity fitting for someone who’s channeled his bitterness at the chances he never had tinto making sure the next generation gets its shot. Grade: B minus"
4. "Gracie"
"Inspired by one family's real story" says the promo, and we find out it's based on Elisabeth Shue's attempt to play for a boy's soccer team back in her Jersey days. She plays the mom in the flick, while Carly Schroeder is Gracie in a "Bend It Like Beckham" storyline that really isn't like "Bend It Like Beckham."
Elisabeth's brother, Andrew, who at one time played for the Galaxy while he was doing "Melrose Place," plays the team coach. Andrew (producer and co-writer) and Elisabeth's real-life husband, Davis Guggenheim (director and co-producer with Elisabeth) give it a family feel. Dermot Mulroney plays Elisabeth's husband and hard-nosed coach.
Best quote (for us) from the movie: "My mom once said life is like one big shit sandwich and we've all gotta take a bite." -- Elisabeth Shue to Schroeder (Gracie) about what it's like to be a girl in today's world.
Best part of the flick: Based in New Jerseys in the late '70s, Springsteen music thankfully moves the storyline along (think "Growin' Up," which is played twice).
The Rock plays an NFL quarterback living the bachelor lifestyle until he finds out a 7-year-old overly precocious daughter from a "previous relationship" wants to live with him. Hijinx try to ensue. iscovers that he has a 7-year-old daughter from a previous relationship. Best part is the synergy between the Disney producer and ESPN spoof biography of him.
BEST GUILTY PLEASURE SPORTS FLICKS OF '07:
1. “Surf’s Up”
The animated "documentary" style flick about penguins who compete in the Big Z Memorial Surf off, with Shia LaBeouf (Cody Maverick), Jeff Bridges (Big Z), James Woods (promoter Reggie Belafonte) and cameos with Kelly Slater, Rob Machado and Sal Masekela.
Although our favorite character was Jon Heder as Chicken Joe from Sheboygan, Mich.
Think "Riding Giants" plus "The Big Lebowski" plus "March of the Penguins," and you forget it's all animation.
2. “Blades of Glory”
Back to Will Ferrell, as Chazz Michael Michaels, and Jon Heder as Jimmy MacElroy doing men's pair figure skating. Why not?
Associated Press columnist Nancy Armour says: "Whoever came up with the script knew their figure skating. You won't see two men competing together at the 2010 Games in Vancouver, and even the edgiest of skaters knows better than to try to impress the judges with Billy Squier."
3. “Hot Rod”
Andy Samberg as a daredevil named Rod Kimble who plans to jump 15 buses to save his stepfather’s life. Listed as a comedy.
The Onion included it in its summer movie preview/fall DVD preview: “In a post labeled 'the next Freddy Got Fingered,' IMDB.com user “KingHater” calls it a “BOMB” in all caps, which makes it inherently more authoritative than lowercase.”
Will Ferrall was the executive producer in a flick that tries to be quirky like "Napoleon Dynamite" and mix in the Super Dave Osborne element. Maybe.
Worst, every sound on the soundtrack is from the group Europe.
4. “The Comebacks”
Probably looked better on paper for a script that intends to spoof every inspirational sports movie. Coach Lambeau Fields (David Koechner) with cameos by Dennis Rodman, Lawrence Taylor, Eric Dickerson, Michael Irvin and Frank Caliendo. And Andy Dick. All staged at Heartland State College (otherwise known as Pierce Junior College field).
Give Bill Buckner credit for playing himself recreating the missed grounder in the ’86 World Series because Fields is yelling to him from the dugout: “What’s a six-letter word for a tropical fruit? Papaya…"
Best line (for us) from the movie: "Coaching is in your blood, like Hepitatis C or traces of cocaine.”
Heartland State College (at Pierce College field)
A review from an IMBD user: "I lay the blame for The Comebacks on anyone who enjoyed Date Movie and Epic Movie. You people encouraged the Fox studio to keep on churning out desperate parody films, and now we're faced with what just may be the laziest and most desperate one of them all. The Comebacks barely qualifies as a parody. Heck, it barely qualifies as a movie. This is a comedy in theory, but not in execution. No one, not even the people involved with this mess, could have possibly fooled themselves into thinking they were making a funny movie. Director Tom Brady (The Hot Chick) has made something truly wretched here."
5. “Balls of Fury”
An underground Ping-Pong tournament ring is exposed, with Christopher Walken, David Koechner (him again), Patton Oswald and Jim Lampley as himself. And George Lopez.
6. "Who’s Your Caddy?”
Has nothing to do with the Rick Reilly book of the same title. Here, a rap mogul from Atlanta tries to join a conservative country club in the Carolinas but runs into fierce opposition from the board president. Then all hell breaks lose. Jesper Parnevik plays himself.
'07 SPORTS MOVIES WE HEARD ABOUT, DIDN'T GET TO SEE (maybe they'll be out in '08; or give us your comments):
== “Believe in Me”:
A macho basketball coach is saddled with a girls team.
== “Eleven Men Out”:
A gay soccer team in Iceland.
==“The Flying Scotsman”
A champion cyclist who built a bike out of washing machine parts.
==“Offside”
Females aren’t allowed to attend soccer matches in Iran, but they sneak in. (April 6)
== "Freedoms Fury"
A documentary on the 1956 Olympic semifinal water polo match between Hungary and Russia.
==“Chasing the Dream”
A surfing documentary that shows eight eight Huntington Beach High School kids trying to obtain the impossible -- a career in professional surfing. Narrated by Gary Busey.
==“Something to Cheer About”
A documentary about the Crispus Attucks Tigers, the first all-black high school basketball team to win a US state championship.