The power points of parenting sports
We asked Dan Doyle, co-author of "The Encyclopedia of Sports Parenting" ($39.95, Hall of Fame Press, 476 pages) what we thought was an appropriate question, while interviewing him for today's Daily News column about why a book, or series of books, are needed as a guideline for today's youth sports.
How many kids do you have?
He and his wife Katherine have six of 'em. Danny, Matt, Andy, Meg, Carrie and Julie.
From that alone, one could consider him an expert in sports parenting. Especially when it came to discouraging his children from participating in athletics.
Danny, the oldest, has autism. And as for Andy ...
"All my kids were good athletes, even my oldest, who loves to walk," said Doyle. "Three others were varsity athletes, three played in college. But then there Andrew, who just got his MBA at Stanford and is just finishing a novel. When he was a sophomore in high school, I could see he had Division I talent -- that's me as a coach seeing that. But he was also a very sensative boy who loved to write. There was no way I was going to push (sports). I could have helped him be a Division I player, obviously, but as a parent you have to know what to do for your kids and what not to do. Pushing him into sports would have been counterproductive, at a point of excess. I tried to follow that principle of training mind and character development."
You'd hope the parents that need this encyclopedia, and the two follow-up volumes that Doyle is preparing for next year, will be the ones who get it into their hands. But the truth is, pretty much any parent who's sending their kid into the world of sports needs it, no matter what their reference point or experience.
What do you tell your kid when a referee makes a "bad call" against him? How do you deal with a coach you don't agree with? How do you deal with injuries to your kid, and have him or her "walk it off" or get serious consultation?
"I don’t know if those who are buying it are the ones who may think they don't need it, but at least from the feedback, it's been enlightening to really reflect on a philsopiohy and values and the notion of an 'anchor approach'," said Doyle. "If one addresses it, it precludes one from pushing a kid too hard.
"I think if a person follows this, they’ll stay away from the pushing. Before I did this, I read many books out there that in one form or another address sports parenting. Most of them had a general theme -- we have a problem -- and then it was all anecdotal. Such, as, 'I went to a game and saw a parent punch someone.' There was very little perscriptive advice on how to deal with that. I really enjoyed the process of writing this as an intellectual challenge to kick around ideas."
==Also:
==The Institute for International Sport, which Doyle founded.
==The Center for Sports Parenting social network, which Doyle also launched.
==Other Dan Doyle books: