Almost better than the Major League Lacrosse All-Star game ... almost ... (that's lacrosse, with an 'e', right?)

Aside from Chris Berman squeezing analysis out of John Kruk and that squeeky-sounding former Dodger second baseman, ESPN will bring all it can to tonight's coverage of the Mid Summer Classic 2008 Pepsi MLS All Star Game, taking place in ... let me check the paperwork ... not Brazil ... not Wembley Stadium ... ah, Toronto's BMO Field.
Is that right, BMO? Stands for ... ? Google it.

ESPN -- not ESPN2, or ESPN8 or ESPN-la-France -- has it live at 4 p.m. The format, for those who aren't up to speed, is the MLS All-Stars against the West Ham United squad of the English Premiere League.

So you know the opposing team is going to try to take out David Beckham as early as possible. Becks makes his MLS All-Star game debut -- and isn't it about time, considering all he's done for the sport. He'll be there with Landon Donovan, Cuauhtemoc Blanco, Dwayne De Rosario, Pablo Mastroeni, Shalrie Joseph and Frankie Hejduk.

All names, to us, that sound like 18th century European real estate agents.

Where's Freddy Adu in this mess?

ESPN, with an arsenal of 17 cameras -- that's arsenal, non-capital "A" -- loads up with JP Dellacamera and John Harkes on the call, Allen Hopkins on the sidelines, Rob Stone and Julie Foudy on pre- and post-game, and none of the those Euros who the network imported for last month's Euro 2008 will be there to call the game from a TV booth in London.

ESPN International, however, sends a live feed to 87 countries, reaching 17 million homes, most of whom will be saying: "What's a Pepsi MLS All-Star Game? Did we miss 'Cricket Week In Bangladesh?'"