Try, just try, to stay through six innings of tonight's non-exhibition

Flash back to a list recently posted by The Onion Sports on what MLB and Fox (coverage begins with that red carpet deal at 4 p.m.; first pitch is sometime closer to quarter to 6) are doing to spice up the annual All-Star Game (linked here):

==Warning track covered with red carpet, celebrities

==Every fan in attendance mic'd up

==Basepath will have translucent blue glow to show viewers where baserunners need to go

==Clean uniforms

==To avoid dull, tedious, or awkward moments during broadcast, Fox promises never to point the cameras at Bud Selig

==All-Stars will rifle balls into the stands during the new Line Drive Derby

==Three Doors Down or some similar band will sing some song while they show videos of diving catches

==Yankee Stadium to be imploded during seventh inning

==Mercury column at first base will measure how much pressure the first baseman is applying to it

==Game will determine if American League representative will win World Series at home or on the road