A Southern California guide to Fenway Park

==Stake out a place to eat before the game. The Cask 'n Flagon, voted "No.2 Base Baseball Bar in America" by ESPN (whatever that means) ain't a bad choice on Lansdown Street. Sit at the outside tables and pray a BP ball comes over the Monster and into your chowder:

==Still, a better place to stumble into is the Bleacher Bar, which opened just weeks ago. Carved out of a former storage room inside the center-field wall, it's easy entry and exit before and after a game. It's the closest you can get to sitting actually inside the Monster:

==From an area directly behind center field, a garage door is open to allow spectators to watch BP, as well as the game -- for free. You can see out but no one can see in. Here's what it looks like watching from inside:

==From the men's room, at the line of urnals, there's also a window you can watch from to see the action through the door (no, it's not a two-way mirror):

==For us, the coolest thing about the bar was finding a small red-paned window that looks into the Monster and reveals an old, paint-flaked part of the wall that isn't seen any longer. It still has the 379 foot marker with some signatures scribbled on it:

==From inside Fenway Park, here's that area from the other side (that open door is used for getting equipment in an out; the other square window to the left is the bar) with the 379 marker tucked into that space between the Monster and the rest of the CF wall (next to the Granite City ad):

==A better angle on the current 379 marker:

==Back to cruising around the exterior for other features, here from behind center field:

==The Ted Williams statue, down the right field side near the bleacher entrance (and it occurs to us that if this a real man trying to put a giant cap on a kid standing outside the stadium, the cops would be all over him):

==The wall of retired numbers (both outside and inside the stadium): Can you name the players who belongs to the numbers? No, No. 1 isn't Grady Little. Where's Nomaaaaaaaaaar? And why isn't Babe Ruth's number retired here? (The former Red Sox pitcher who led the team to several championships in the late 1910 decade didn't wear a number back then...)

==Looking for tickets? It ain't easy. Especially in a scalp-free zone (there's gotta be a joke about the Cleveland Indians in there, but we can't find it). As we get closer to gametime, we'll explain:

==Once you land a ticket and start to try to locate it, signs like this are very helpful ...

==You think this thing actually work if the bricks caught on fire:

==And would it kill you to give to the Jimmy Fund? Just don't sit in the golf cart that used to bring Bob Stanley, with his gas can and lighter fluid, into games:

==A sign in a building across the street from the park. Proving the those who work at the Boston Globe have a rooting interest:

==That's not a manequin in the store window modeling a Red Sox one-piece bathing suit and cool hat. Just another pasty Boston College student trying to make a buck:

==And markers you'll find all around the city, even outside Fenway ... give a hoot, don't pollute. Ted Williams would want you to protect the Boston fishing industry:

==OK, we're getting on the tour. And we're walking ... into the park, and this magnificient view:

==And the press box:

==And the red plastic chair in the right-field bleachers (Section 42, Row 37, Seat 21) where Ted Williams hit the longest homer (allegedly, because others have probably gone farther than his 502 feet, but this makes for a better story):

==Why does the place even need lights?:

==The Boston skyline, and the Prudential building:

==Based on our general sense of direction, out in the distance, looking out of the park on the first-base side, that's the Old North Church (that white steeple) that Paul Revere made famous. That's our story and we're sticking with it:

==And also from up here, we can see the players enter the park in their caaaaaws ... and the fans line up as to give 'em the red-carpet treatment:

==Up on the right-field rooftop, where a lobster roll goes for $18 and a Papa Gino's pizza is only $22, there are a section of seats that get sold through a lottery, a very high-end proposition:

==Finally, over at the Monster and the left-field foul pole (aka the Fisk Pole), all grafitti'd up:

==Even more not-so-cryptic scribblings left on the tables above the Monster:

==And you got the urge to pull yank in a Red Sox homer? Think again. But then, who'd have the nerve to actually kick you out for that?

==Still, one heck of a blimp-like view:

==And a better appreciation for just how little room there is for foul territory down there:

==Back on the street before the game starts, the Sausage King of Boston is trying to sell his stuff (he's no Abe Froman):

==Again, with tickets at a premium -- there are only 37,400 official seats -- the game day tickets released to the public are in high demand. A couple standing in line for about an hour said they got a voucher that pretty much garanteed them some seat, but they had no idea where or what it would cost. There are about 125 game-day seats sold, they said, but that doesn't account for the extra standing-room only tickets they'll also sell that often pushes the paid attendance into the 38,000-plus range.

==Time to climb into the time capsule again. Yawkey Street is closed off and the turnstyles are put out there for entrance. The original entrance ways are just places to move in and out of to get food and shop:

==Sign making is not only allowed but encouraged. The kid in the middle is about to finish off a sign that says "In Manny We Trust." We trust that by now he's figured out that the sign has no real use now:

==Inside the park, you'll find hallways that seem to go to no where ... probably a prohibition bar down below in the basement where Bill Lee is making bathtub gin:

==There are also things like this -- heaters? Sam Adams beer distilling tanks? -- that just are around inside to add to the ambiance:

==Finally, our actual seat location. You call that a pillar in the way, where the ball disappears between the pitcher's hand and somehow makes it to the plate. We call it an inconvenient truth:

==Our personal pilar, up close and personal, telling us in Section 28, we will have neighbors on either side that don't have to contend with this nuance:

==Oh, by the way, this is the $50 grandstand seat. One of the originally installed in the 1934 makeover. Maybe 18 inches wide, tops. About as comfortable as a coach airline seat -- made of wood with chipping paint. How can you not embrace that?

==A stairway to Fenway heaven:

==Where the Fenway Franks are brought straight to your seat:

==Or you can navagate you way through the spacious catacombs and find your own food:

==And eventually you'll find the clam chowder stand. The legal clam chowder, that is:

==But who needs chowda when it's wicked humid out?

==Now, is this really necessary? The mascot's name is Wally (after the Green Wall), not to be confused with the Disney movie about the trash compactor who .... we've already spent too much time and space on this (see this link to him on Wikipedia):

==At least Wally does encourage kids to go green -- and at least twice during the game, ushers came up and down the aisle with giant bags to collect plastic water bottles. We also notedthat the Fenway Park concession stands have something that behooves the Dodgers and Angels to follow suit:

==Another breathtaking couple of shots of the field during the game:

==Oh, right, and this was the game when the Angels' John Lackey almost no-hit the Red Sox. Even the fans singing "Sweet Caroline" before the bottom of the 8th inning didn't seem to care so much. That's the Monster scoreboard reflecting 8 no-hit innings, and Manny Ramirez still getting booed for not running out a grounder hard enough earlier. We doubt his time spent in Fenway will last much longer:

==Again, before you exit, don't forget to hit the collection box:

==Again, thanks for being such a great group. Y'all have been best group we've ever had here at Fenway ...

==And as you leave, keep in mind that, through all the hospitality, Southern Californians are still not all that welcome:

==Now get back on the Green Line and find a Dunkin' Donut before it closes: