May 2009 Archives

In addition to today's column on Gerard Moreno (linked here) and his passion for wheelchair fencing, we met Ryan Baker, who just 12 weeks ago helped found wheelchair lacrosse.

The San Diego resident said he was interested in the sport enough to where he contacted someone at the U.S. Lacrosse organization -- and they weren't familiar with any groups playing a wheelchair version of the sport.

"I can't play rugby, I never played basketball before my injury so I wasn't going to do it now, I did a lot of snow and water skiing, but I was playing tennis, and my coach had a husband who was involved in lacrosse," explained Baker. "I finally found a few friends motivated to pull wheelchair lacrosse together."

And as a result, a rep from U.S. Lacrosse was present when Baker and friends put on a demonstration inside the Anaheim Convention Center hall, complete with sticks, helmets and nets. They go seven a side (including goalies), using standard sticks, and playing on a standard roller hockey rink (even using a goal typical size of a roller hockey game). Think of the movie amazing movie about wheelchair rugby called "Murderball," except with sticks and balls.

Here's more info about Baker's attempt to give his idea more forward motion (official site linked here).

More on the Abilities Expo, which ends today at 4 p.m. (info linked here)

Photo courtesy of the U.S. Paralympic team
U.S. fencer Gerard Moreno, left, sends Russia's Marat Vusupov leaning back during the sabre competition at the 2008 Paralympics in Beijing.

Gerard Moreno had just finished about an hour jousting with Mario Rodriguez, but didn't seem to winded.

"I'm used to 2 1/2-hour workouts," said the 52-year-old Moreno of West L.A. "You feel it more in the shoulders and elbows, sometimes the lower back."

Today, he was feeling it in his heart.

Moreno, pictured here, had to be pleased to see people circled around the demonstration he and Rodriguez had just put on in wheelchair fencing, part of the three-day Abilities Expo at the Anaheim Convention Center (info linked here; it continues Sunday from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., with another exhibition by Moreno scheduled at 2:30 p.m.).

"I'm always looking for new recruits," said Moreno, a three-time participant in the Paralympic Games, including last summer in Beijing.

As life rolls on, Moreno and Rodriguez prefer being mobile. Their demonstration took place to show that sports can be an important part of the life for anyone who feels that a disability -- especially one that confines one to a wheelchair -- may have grounded their dreams.

Rodriguez, who trains in Santa Barbara, said that a cracked hip from a low-speed motorcycle accident led to terminal cancer, where a doctor told him 25 years ago that he'd only have six months to live. He fought back, although seven years ago, he had his right leg amputated.

"Fencing isn't popular in the U.S.," said Rodriguez. "There's a lot of romanticizing about the sword play, but it's a discipline that you don't realize how difficult it is until you work at it.

"For me, it doesn't matter what sport you participate in -- be passionate about it, burn some calories, feel better about yourself, have fun and, if you have a competitive streak, you'll find out the rules of a sport and take it from there."

In Sunday's column, we'll focus a little more on the success of Moreno, who earlier this month won the bronze medal at the World Cup competition in Montreal.

Until then ...

More information:
== Gerard Moreno's bio on the U.S. Paralympic site (linked here)
== Info on the Los Angeles International Fencing Center, where Moreno trains (linked here)

AP Photos/David Zalubowski
And 'Melo seems perfectly fine with Kobe claiming his trophy making plans for the evening giving his fiance LaLa a warm embrace after Friday's game.

== Cleveland or Orlando? Rock n' Roll or Mick E. Mouse? A team the Lakers toppled twice during the regular season, or a team that ate 'em up twice in the same regular season? What do those pulling the muppetstrings say about it?

== Does this mean all those Nuggets that the Lakers fans put into bags and mailed off to Cash4Gold aren't worth as much today as they may have been last week?

== Before running to the plane parked far away at the non-downtown airport, what does Kobe Bryant do for one last hurrah before leaving the greater Denver area for the last time this season?

== Does Lamar Odom get Chris Andersen's headband as a souvenir?

== Is George Karl still looking at the end of the Lakers' bench waiting for them to put in Coby Karl as the human victory cigar?

== Will Ferrell, Colin Farrell or Phil Collin: Who gets the most ping-pong balls for the celebrity seat lottery draw that now takes place at the Laker exec offices for the first two games at Staples Center for the NBA Finals? Is Ryan Seacrest allowed to sit next to Ryan O'Neal? Andy Garcia next to Nomar Garciaparra?

== Would not the sight of D.J. Mbenga on the court, with or without his Lakers' tank top, had been enough to thwart any thuggery that the Nuggets had intended to deliver during this series? Can that be part of the blueprint for the next round?

== How can you not say a few silent prayers in hopes of having Stan Van Gundy push Orlando's magic ride all the way into the finals, to face the Lakers, just so we can hear brother Jeff Van Gundy try to defend his moves during the ABC telecast?

== What kind of shot does Jerry West, who once blistered the Bel-Air Country Club for a round of 63 at a time when he was a scratch golfer, have at luring Tiger Woods to finally come back to the thing called the NTO (Northern Trust Open, not some off-track betting site) at Riviera Country Club?

== As long as Ballpark Frank McCourt has no problem with it, why not punch up an online ballot 25 times to send Manny Ramirez to St. Louis as the starting left fielder for the NL All-Star team? But since Joe Torre apparently does have a problem with that -- you could say he's wigging out -- why not type in on the online ballot 25 times the name Juan Pierre as the starting left fielder for the NL All-Star team?

== If you're really able to muster the mental strength to log votes 25 times for Man-Ram online, do they waive the manditatory steroid test afterward?

== If Ken Griffey Jr. is fourth in the AL All-Star outfield vote -- with a .218 average -- what makes voting for Manny so crazy?

== What's so horrible about David Ortiz's .299 average? Oh, that's his slugging percentage?

== Why doesn't NBC just have Conan O'Brien drop the puck for the first two games of its coverage in the Stanley Cup Finals and see what kind of marine life they throw at him on the ice?

== How low a blow must the sport of boxing endure if it allows Jose Canseco, once knocked on his wallet by Danny Partridge, to find a pay-day in Japan only to get pummeled again, this time by a 7-foot-2 sumo champ, and not be DQ'd by a post-game urine test?

== Rachel Alexandra says she needs a vacation? Already? How do we nag her to change her mind?

== What kind of hurdles does Jim Tracy immediately face as the new Rockies' manager, aside from altitude sickness from a sickening bullpen? If Colorado sinks any quicker in the NL West, think they'd be willing to deal Houston Street to the Dodgers for ... James McDonald?

== As long as we've opened it up to Slater for first-ball duties, can we screech for Dustin Diamond to take a spot in the middle of the diamond next time?

Rick Reilly now owns the rights to the phrase "Life of Riley"? Brand right he does. Apparently (linked here, with all the paperwork) so that Pat Riley wouldn't beat him to it someday while renewing the trademark of "three-peat."

Seems like R-squared is just doing the safety dance.

Which reminds us: Erin Andrews on "Dancing With the Stars" -- as a competitor? It would be to ABC's benefit to have the lady with the tight dress come on each week in even tighter clothing and try to dazzle the judges. Especially after her performance in Thursday's ESPN and ABC coverage of the National Spelling Bee.

While she lobbies for that honor (linked here), we also learned this week that, in the world of media graffiti:

== ABC could use some help with its graphic spelling -- or an alternate pronounciation -- especially during the Spelling Bee (linked here)

== And an ESPN.com writer makes a pitch for having learned new sports words this week (linked here).

== Yes, Conan O'Brien is directly responsible for the NHL starting the Stanley Cup finals with back-to-back weekend games on NBC (linked here)

== And yes, a stupid cartoon gopher is directly responsible for the NASCAR ratings taking a dive on Fox (linked here)

== The coaches who decide their national football champion for USA Today will keep everything non-transparent starting in 2010 (linked here)

== If you believe Manny Ramirez should be eligible for fan voting into the 2009 MLB All-Star Game, join those who voted "yes" at this ESPN.com poll (linked here).

== Why spend the time and money printing actual media guides any more, when the media would just a) throw 'em away and b) go looking for the PDF online anyway (linked here).

== AND FINALLY ...

== After seeing this during the ABC Indianapolis 500 coverage on Sunday, yes, it's wrong:

AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster
Seattle Central Little League player second baseman Nestor Berdua-Ortega waits in the dugout to take the field before their game against Lancaster Recreation Little League from Lancaster, Pa., in South Williamsport, Pa., during the 2009 Little League Urban Initiative Jamboree.

By Genaro C. Armas
The Associated Press

SOUTH WILLIAMSPORT, Pa. -- Leaning against a dugout wall at Lamade Stadium, 12-year-old Evell Nelson's eyes lit up as he thought about the future.

An early season tournament for urban Little League programs from around the country didn't satisfy the slugger from Seattle.

"We all want to come back here to play in the Little League World Series," the third baseman said.

Once considered a weakness of Little League Baseball, inner-city and urban organizations such as the Seattle Central league are growing -- a bright spot for a youth program that, overall, has seen a 13 percent decline in participation over the past decade.

As Little League looks for ways to reverse declines, mainly in suburban and rural areas, leaders view the "Urban Initiative" program as an avenue to get more children -- especially minorities and the poor -- to pick up a glove and ball.

Little League boasts that the 9-year-old program has helped nearly 1,100 leagues and 3,900 teams, which amounts to about to 50,000 players.

Little League does not track how many of the assisted leagues are still in operation, or are not with Little League but still playing baseball. For instance, a local league could choose to join another organization such as the Babe Ruth League.

But officials say the majority of Urban Initiative-assisted programs are still with Little League. Through the program, leagues can apply for grants to help with costs such as equipment and field renovations.

"The point of the Urban Initiative (is) these kids, living in some pretty tough parts of the country, are really just being denied the opportunity," said Little League president Stephen Keener, his eyes darting across the field watching plays during the Memorial Day weekend tournament for urban teams.

"A lot of the rural, suburban programs, kids may not choose to play for a number of reasons. Many of these kids don't have the choice, because no program existed for them."

Corporate donations and grants fund the program. Eligible leagues get "assistance packages" that help local volunteers.

Over the years, Bank of America has provided more than $500,000 for field renovations. American Honda has given $100,000 annually for equipment and uniforms. A $1 million grant from the Conrad Hilton Foundation has helped build new fields.

It's unclear how the recession will affect future funding, though Urban Initiative director Demiko Ervin said he remained confident the program would keep going.

A $5,000 grant from Little League went to help pay for equipment for the Seattle Central league. Government grants helped pay for new batting cages that cost $60,000.

All for an organization that Seattle Central league president Steve Orser said was nearly defunct a decade ago after the program had "lost its direction."

Aaron Levine, the Calabasas native, ESPN "Dream Job" contestant and these days the sports director/anchor at TV station Q13 Fox in Seattle, popped over a copy of a story he put together recently that he calls one of his all-time favorites. It's about a Senior Little League coach that ... well, the video speaks for itself:

Here's a link to the story as well (linked here)

You can't contain all of Bill Walton's comments in one newspaper media column (today's is linked here), so we'll try to control the rest of it as he continues resting up for a return someday to TV land:

Q: Are the NBA Finals a letdown if it's not Kobe vs. LeBron?
Walton: You have to win the games. The Lakers are prohibitive favorites to get there and Orlando has shown they're a better team. Can Dwight Howard be that guy, when things aren't going well, who can change the direction of the game? LeBron, like Kobe, has separated himself from the crowd on an historical level. He commands appointment viewing by himself. And sadly, he's been playing by himself through no fault of his own. He's not a selfish individual. This is a team game and the conglomerate attack of Orlando has taken on the one-man show in Cleveland. All we want is great NBA basketball.

More stuff to make note of (that isn't made up):

== ESPN acknowledged that it has told about 100 employees that they will have their jobs cut. It is part of a downsizing plan announced by ESPN CEO George Bodenheimer in January, when he told employees they'd cut about 200 jobs, leaving about 100 vacant positions unfilled. ESPN employs about 5,400 people worldwide, with 3,400 in Bristol, Conn.

== Lee Corso is recovering from a minor stroke but should return to ESPN by the time the college football season begins for "College GameDay," according to the network. The 73-year-old had a blockage to a small artery and suffered no permanent damage, calling it "a small bump in the road" and a "not so fast, my friend, in my game of life."

== Doc Emrick, Eddie Olczyk, Mike Milbury and Pierre McGuire are part of both NBC and Versus coverage of the Detroit-Pittsburgh Stanley Cup finals starting Saturday (Channel 4, 5 p.m.). NBC has Games 1, 2 (Sunday) and 5, 6 and 7; Versus gets Games 3 and 4 (at 5 p.m. on Tuesday and Thursday).

== CBS College Sports launches a two-part series "Go Pro Or Go Home" (today, 3 p.m.) where 16 of the top college women's beach volleyball players try to land a spot on the AVP tour (it already happened last month in Riverside). The second episode airs Thursday, June 4. The competitors inlcuded Emily Day (Loyola Marymount) and Jessica Fine (UCLA).

== Fox Soccer Channel will cover all of the Iran National Team's games in the 2010 FIFA Club World Cup starting Saturday, June 6 against North Korea. Behooz Afrakhan, an Iranian-American sports journalist, will provide the commentary in Farsi on a SAP feed.

== ESPN, ESPN2 and ESPNU have up to 55 games from the NCAA baseball championships starting today and ending June 24. ESPN and ESPN2 combine to cover all the College World Series from Omaha, Neb. (June 13-24), including the best-of-three final. For coverage of the teams on ESPN.com and Facebook, the network gave flip cameras to UC Irvine, Cal State Fullerton, Georgia, Florida State, Texas, LSU, North Carolina and Arizona State. Of the four regional games today, San Diego State -- with pitcher Stephen Strasburg (13-0, 1.24 ERA) -- faces Virginia today (4 p.m., ESPNU) at Irvine. Defending champion Fresno State meets Irvine at 8 p.m. ESPN game analysts include former MLB and college players Morgan Ensberg (who won wit USC in 1998), Robin Ventura (Oklahoma State), Kyle Peterson (Stanford), Phil Nevin (Cal State Fullerton) and Keith Moreland (Texas).

== AND THE CLOSING ARGUMENT:

From The Onion Sports (linked here):

Manny Ramirez To David Ortiz: 'Road Trip'

An excerpt:

SOMEWHERE ALONG I-65 -- Best buddies Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz, both of whom find themselves at professional crossroads and both desperately wanting to rekindle their friendship, decided on Sunday that a soul-searching road trip was the key to resolving their personal problems.

"I called David and I said, 'David! Hey, David! It's Manny. Road trip, man! Let's do this!' And he said, 'Okay,' and now he is with me in the car here," Ramirez told reporters in a cell phone interview while driving on the interstate.

According to sources, Ramirez pulled up to Ortiz's Weston, MA home last Sunday, a selection of Tom Petty hits blaring from the stereo of his faded red 1966 Ford Galaxie 500 convertible. After embracing each other, a visibly somber Ortiz told Ramirez, "I don't know what's going on with me, man. I'm not hitting the baseball." Ortiz then threw his battered duffel bag in the car's backseat and asked Ramirez where they were headed.
Ramirez responded, "Just get in."

The trip reportedly culminated with Ramirez taking Ortiz to a batting cage in St. George, UT. Though Ortiz missed the first several balls, Ramirez told Ortiz that he knew he could do it, and that even if they were no longer teammates, they would always be best friends. Ortiz then began hitting ball after ball, the last five of which hit the "home run" net.

During a tender moment at the Grand Canyon later that night, tourists said that while seated on the hood of their car, Ortiz placed a blanket around a shivering Ramirez and told him, "You're my best friend, man. You're my best friend."

The car's hood then caved in, sending both players into a fit of hysterical laughter.

The Associated Press

CHARLESTON, W.Va. -- President Barack Obama bobbleheads that are supposed to be given away at a minor-league baseball game apparently haven't gotten the nod from customs officials.

The West Virginia Power Class A baseball team said Thursday that 1,000 of the figures have been held up at a U.S. Customs and Border Protection warehouse in Los Angeles
since May 20. A U.S. Customs spokeswoman in Los Angeles said she didn't have more information on why they were stalled.

The bobbleheads are a likeness of Obama in his high school basketball uniform and
are part of Saturday's theme of fitness and healthy lifestyles.

It's unclear when the bobbleheads will be released, but it's unlikely they'll arrive in time for the giveaway, said Kristin Call, director of marketing for the Pittsburgh Pirates' South Atlantic League affiliate.

Fans will be given vouchers to pick up the bobbleheads once they arrive, Call said.

Call said a company produced the figures overseas but wasn't sure in what country.

Yes, William Theodore Walton is alive, and somewhat kicking, just not on ESPN (or ABC) coverage of the NBA playoffs because of his back surgery from last February and subsequent recovery and therapy.

He had the same kind of back problems during last year's NBA Finals and only able to join the ABC coverage during the finals -- as a special guest -- while watching son Luke compete with the Lakers against the Celtics.

He gave us some time this morning to break down the NBA playoffs to date -- more specfically, why the Lakers need to exploit their big-man advantage against the Nuggets and whatever team they end up against in the Finals. And why dirty play uglifies the NBA.

Incidental Dodger stat offered in today's media notes, before the Dodgers' Randy Wolf faces the Cubs' Randy Wells at Wrigley Field (5 p.m., Prime Ticket)

Today marks the sixth time in Randy Wolf's career that he is facing an opposing pitcher with the same first name. Wolf has matched up with Randy Johnson four previous times in his career, including twice last season. The left-hander also locked horns with the Yankees' Randy Keisler in an Interleague game back in 2001.

They actually have this stat you can look up? FYI, on MLB 2K9, I have Wolf facing the Padres' Randy Jones tonight.

Reuters
Paige Vasseur, a 13-year-old from Rio Norte Junior High in Valencia and sponsored by the Daily News, tries to stay focused during Round II of the 2009 National Spelling Bee on Wednesday.

Although we've struggled with this skewed idea year after year, and re-planted it again yesterday when the first signs of it started to penetrate the wire services (linked here), the more we sit unentertained by ESPN's three-hour-plus coverage of the 82nd Scripps National Spelling Bee from Washington D.C., this morning, the easier it was to construct a list of the top five things that the all-sports network should not be allowed to air on any of its competitive channels, even though in some cases we've come to not just accept but embarassingly embrace:

1. Poker
2. The hot-dog eating championships
3. Bloated anchors who believe they're bigger than whatever they are covering
4. The Little League World Series
5. The Spelling Bee

The first two are better suited for the Game Show Network and/or the Food Channel.
The last two should be, if Disney really wants it that badly, on a Disney Channel of core kids programming -- not filtering their way through the other Mickey Mouse outlets of ESPN and then, in a two-hour live (East Coast) event, on ABC for the Spelling Bee finale tonight (8 to 10 p.m.), with Tom Bergeron putting his 'Dancing With the Stars" and "America's Funniest Home Movies" spin on it.

The third one doesn't belong anywhere.

Trying to catch our daily "SportsCenter" update this morning, we were interrupted by a program that at one point was reduced to Erin Andews crouched down in a tight green dress, trying to extract an interview with a 9-year-old third grader named Sriram Hathwar from a Montessori School in Painted Post, N.Y., whose mouth was crammed with a cookie as he explained how he failed to nail the word "fodient" (he used an "a" instead of an "e") -- and was already adept as using all the cliche responses that a college football player would have told Andrews in the same situation if she was at an Ohio State-Michigan contest.

So, little Sriram (check notes to make sure the name is right), you have five more years of eligibility left, Andrews reminded him, as if she was talking to Beanie Wells. When does studying begin for next year?

"Well, maybe we'll just, like, let it go for a week or so then we'll start studying again," Hathwar said.

"Maybe you deserve a little break," Andrews said, completing ignoring the parent's wishes and putting them on the spot now to give their poor kid a break -- from you and everyone else trying to manipulate his schedule, thank you very much.

And maybe we all need a break from this on ESPN, which actually went past its three-hour window to complete the fifth round (that was once around for 41 contestants, then another for the 36 left from that).

Paige Vasseur (pictured here, from a link to her bio on the official Spelling Bee website), a 13-year-old eighth grader from Valencia's Rio Norte Junior High (and sponsored by the Daily News), got her big break here today.

She left batting .500.

Scribbling on the back of her giant No. 12 card the letters to put together "brachylogy" in her first go-around (sounds like something that Dick Vitale tries to master each March), she was tripped up in her second appearance on "skeuomorph," a noun that no one in their right mind would ever just drop into a sentence on the playground. She couldn't decide if it started with an "s" or a "c." She guessed incorrectly. Her mom was there to give her a hug.

(Paige's bio page, by the way, mentions that she has two Roborovski hamsters named Fluffernutter and Miss Fluffykins, and she wants to become a scientist. So she's got that going for her).

With all apologies to Akeelah and her Spelling Bee adventure on the silver screen, how fair is that to skew up a kid's self esteem going into high school already seen as someone who couldn't go the distance by her future classmates. Can Paige turn the page on this weekend that quickly and enjoy the rest of her summer, or will "skeuomorph" keep her up at night in a cold sweat? Thanks, ESPN, for helping her sleep better. And exposing her to boys who stumbled onto this when they were looking for more of Erin Andrews.

Chris McKendry reminded us at the top of the broadcast that 11 million kids entered this thing around the world months ago, and 293 made it these nationals. Included in those final 41 who made what Andrews called "the ESPN round" were names such as Kavya Shivashankar, Avvinash Radakrishnam, Aishwarya Pastapur, Viabhau Vivilala, Kennyi Aouda, Neetu Chandak, Siraj Sindhu, Tino Cusi Delamerced, Anamika Veeramani, Akshay Raghoram, Mouctika Palori, Aditya Chemudupaty and Serena Skye Laine-Lobsinger.

Wait, how did she get in?

Even analyst Paul Loeffler, a one-time contestant but now a grown man paid to explain everything, admitted that for most of these children, English is a second language. They had to study it more carefully -- all those crazy rules that made no sense. So, in fact, they have an advantage in some respects than those who were taught in American schools (although many are home schooled or go to private institutions).

Do you see this becoming a national incident in need of U.N. intervention?

Oh, and among those who made it to the final rounds, we left out Sidharth Chand, a 13-year-old eighth grader from Detroit Country Day School.

Who has a mustache. He almost looks like a mini-Norman Chad on a poker show.

Connor Aberle, a 13-year-old seventh grader homeschooled in Portland, Ore., also has some fuzz under the nose.

Danny Almonte would be proud of them.

So, what kind of louche plan does ESPN have for allowing these potential people -- some of them just a couple years removed from Huggies -- under the TV spotlight on a channel that specializes in wins, losses and keeping score, and tell them they did a "great job!" even if they couldn't shuffle through the alphabet quickly enough to complete words such as machtpolitik, cicatrize, bardiglio, strepitoso, myriacanthous, laeotryopus, myriarch or Beckmesser?

(Louche, by the way, was a word that Miss Chemudupaty, a 14-year-old from Staunton, Va., was forced to spell at one point. It means "devious, perverse, sinister")

At one point, Veronica Penny, an 11-year-old from Ontario, Canada, put the palm of her hands up to her eyes and buried her face as she tried to extract the correct spelling of "clary" clearly in her mind.

"Don't be alarmed," said Loeffler. "It helps her concentrate."

"She's not crying," added McKendry.

No, we are. Just from watching these kids unnecessarily put through the ringer while we await ESPN's next expose on "Outside The Lines" about pushy parents and their non-athletic kids who just want to stop reading a dictionary during their down time.

For the all-sports channel's functionality, we did notice that it continued to run its revolving scroll across the bottom of the screen with any pertinent news that came through. Including, as one kid was trying to crank out the word "nescience," that the A's had put Nomar Garciaparra (calf) back on the DL.

Apparently, a non- slow news day. And it came after a commercial break where Sports Illustrated was pimping the fact that it has a subscription deal that can save you 69 percent, plus get the Swimsuit issue included, and before McKendry was promoting the network's coverage Friday of the Lakers-Nuggets Game 6, as "the Lakers try to close it out, but it won't be easy."

Just as uneasy as watching a pre-teen asking the judge to use "tonsorial" in a sentence and getting: "Rob wore a baseball cap for two weeks following his tonsorial disaster." (It has nothing to do with getting his tonsils ripped out, but having a bad barber ... keep that in mind the next time you see Tiki Barber on the "Today" show).

Another spry youngin', 13-year-old eighth grader Miguel Gatmaytan, was asked to figure out how to spell "mancala."

Which is, by definition, "Any of the various games from Africa or southern Asia that involve competition between two players in the distribution of pieces (as beans or pebbles) into rows of holes or pockets (as on a board), under rules that permit accumulation of pieces by capture." In a sentence: "There are 200 versions of mancala played around the world."

There's another thing that we should never have to see on ESPN: The Mancala World Series. With Chris Berman hosting.

Comment here or at thomas.hoffarth@dailynews.com.

More reading: Linda Holmes' "Monkey See" piece on National Public Radio's site (linked here), where she calls this event an "oddly addictive spectacle." She writes: "You're not seeing kids demonstrate that they spell well in real life as much as you are seeing them perform an advanced academic trick. ... There aren't a lot of televised triumphs available for kids who are very, very bright and unusual, and that's part of what makes the Bee mesmerizing. Television will show you lots of kids who are attractive and conventionally cute, and from time to time, it will show you the ones who are good at sports. But very, very bright and unusual?"

Also: This Q-and-A by Time magazine with Jacques Bailly on winning the event as a 14-year-old in 1980 and now acting as the judge who prounces the words and banters with the contestants as they try to quiz him for more information (as well as stall for time) (linked here).

AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin
That's Tim Ruiter -- common spelling -- a 12-year-old from Centreville, Va., after spelling his word correctly in round six this morning of the Scripps National Spelling Bee, bringing him to tonight's finals.

By Ronald Blum
The Associated Press

Long before she was a Supreme Court nominee, Sonia Sotomayor was an umpire between baseball players and team owners.

Her decision as a U.S. District Court judge to issue an injunction against owners on March 31, 1995, ended a 7½-month strike that had wiped out the World Series for the first time in 90 years.

"We thought it was well written, tightly reasoned," union head Donald Fehr recalled this week. "She had done her homework, ran a good courtroom. The experience we had there certainly would suggest that she would acquit herself well anywhere."

When the National Labor Relations Board went to court that March 27 seeking an injunction forcing owners to restore free agent bidding, salary arbitration and the anti-collusion provisions of an expired collective bargaining agreement, Sotomayor's name came out of the wheel.

She held a telephone conference call with the parties, decided witnesses weren't necessary and scheduled oral arguments. After listening to lawyers for 90 minutes, she took 15 minutes to deliberate, then spent 45 minutes reading her decision, making clear the bulk of it had been prepared ahead of time.

"She came to the oral arguments on the case with a decision at hand and used the oral arguments basically to confront her own decision-making," said Gene Orza, the union's chief operating officer. "She obviously found the
parties' arguments did not require any change in the conclusion she had reached."

From the latest Fox MLB press release:

With David Ortiz's continued struggles and his recent demotion to sixth in the Red Sox lineup, MLB on Fox reporter Ken Rosenthal has noticed that the whispers of steroids and performance enhancing drugs has started and he believes its unfair.

"Ten years ago, no self-respecting journalist would have speculated that a player was using PEDs without some form of proof. Today, respected journalists, blogs, chat rooms and other Internet vehicles, have blithely suggested that Ortiz is in a decline because he no longer take PEDs," said Rosenthal. "It's irresponsible. It's unfair. It needs to stop. Several times in recent weeks, radio talk-show hosts have asked me what I thought of the possibility that Ortiz was using PEDs.

"I have no idea if David Ortiz used PEDs; probably no journalist does. I could not even make an educated guess, and it would be unprofessional of me to do so. Here's one thing I do know: Before steroids, players actually declined as they got older. Ortiz is 33. Maybe he is losing his skills. Maybe he just stinks. If I were an innocent player, I would fight back. But I wouldn't even know where to start."

More of Rosenthal's column (linked here)

If you'll recall the list of 50 things Manny Ramirez could do during his 50-game suspension, check out No. 25 (linked here) and then read this story:

The Associated Press

Jason Rosenberg was heading home and listening to satellite radio when he heard that Manny Ramirez was fourth among National League outfielders in initial All-Star voting. By the end of the night, a new Web site was born: Vote for Manny.

"I said it would be funny if Manny got elected, because he's coming off a suspension on July 3 and the All-Star Game is a week later, so they don't even have that sort of built-in protection," the 39-year-old from New York suburb Ardsley said Wednesday. "So I got home, and just quickly threw a Web site together."

Rosenberg got voteformanny.blogspot.com up and running Tuesday night, designed to point out that MLB has no rule preventing players coming off drug suspensions from becoming All-Stars. It links to an online All-Star ballot and implores fans: "Remember, vote early and often!"

Ramirez was suspended for 50 games on May 7 after his drug test showed artificial testosterone and baseball investigators obtained documentation that he received HCG, a banned female fertility drug taken by some after steroid cycles to restart natural testosterone production.

He's eligible to return to the Dodgers on July 3, 11 days before the All-Star Game in St. Louis.

In the initial All-Star vote released Tuesday, Ramirez was on 442,763 ballots, trailing Milwaukee's Ryan Braun (663,164), the Chicago Cubs' Alfonso Soriano (545,354) and the New York Mets' Carlos Beltran (476,843).

"The All-Star Game is for the fans and I think if he got voted in, then it would be appropriate for him to play," said Philadelphia's Charlie Manuel, the NL manager. "Once he serves his suspension, he's paid his penalty and he's just like every other player."

Cardinals manager Tony La Russa had the opposite view: "The fans have a right to vote, but I think it's probably not fair to the guys who are out there playing. It's pretty tough to do what he did and then miss a good part of the season. But it's up to the fans."

Voting began April 22, so it's unclear how many were cast for Ramirez before the suspension. Baseball's drug agreement states "a player shall be deemed to have been eligible to play in the All-Star Game if he was elected or selected to play; the commissioner's office shall not exclude a player from eligibility for election or selection because he is suspended under the program."

In AL voting released Wednesday, the Yankees' Alex Rodriguez was third among third basemen with 245,414, trailing Tampa Bay's Evan Longoria (664,060) and Texas' Michael Young (296,025).

"It would be too interesting, too funny, too pick-your-adjective to see Manny get elected," Rosenberg said. "It's got to be MLB's nightmare that the two biggest stars who have implicated themselves or gotten implicated by this are now potentially starting in their signature midsummer moment."

Rosenberg is a Yankees fan who works in finance and has a regular blog devoted to baseball at itsaboutthemoney.blogspot.com, which he started more than a year ago.

He intends to keep the Manny Web site up and running through the All-Star Game.

"Most fans have had enough PED discussion, the steroids discussion, are sick of hearing it," Rosenberg said. "Voting proves it, and yet the media still wants to cast everyone as an outcast and a pariah if they ever used or been accused or, in Manny's case, been caught."

EMBED-Hannah Teter is in the Moment - Watch more free videos

That's gold-medal snowboarder Hannah Teter jumping off a mountain for an energy beverage.

It's our very educated guess she probalby doesn't drink said drink. When we asked the very health-conscious Teter once whether she actually drank Mountain Dew, a major sponsor of extreme sports, she kind of krinkled her nose and asked that we really didn't need to know her answer.

Mychal Thompson's pending personal obligation -- attending the high school graduation of his son Trayce, a standout baseball player at Santa Margarita High in Orange County (bio linked here) -- means he'll miss Friday's Lakers-Nuggets' Game 6 broadcast on the KLAC-AM (570) team in Denver.

Which also means that, by some string pulling, the radio station will bring in Stu Lantz to call the game with Spero Dedes, according to our people in the know.

Lantz has done strictly the Lakers' local TV broadcasts for FSN West and KCAL Channel 9 the last six seasons (two with Paul Sunderland and four with Joel Meyers) after the team abandoned the simulcast upon Chick Hearn's passing. He's been apart of the team's broadcast the last 21 seasons. Oh, that's right, you're probably in the know about as well.

It's the first time Lantz has been paired up for a Laker game with Dedes, who's been doing the Lakers' radio since his hiring before the 2005-06 season. They did a couple of NBA Network Summer League games a few years back so they are familiar with each other's approach.

Turn down the sound Friday on the ESPN telecast -- it's OK, that's what the mute button is for -- and synchronize the audio from the radio to sample what the future of Lakers' basketball could sound like.

Or look like.

Oh, her? She's Krystle Lina. Wearing a Jerry West retro jersey. For no apparent reason, other than to counteract the top photo.

AP Photo/Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano
Pope Benedict XVI, left, greets Swiss referee Massimo Busacca at the end of his weekly general audience in St. Peter's Square, at the Vatican today. Busacca has been chosen to take charge of the UEFA Champions League Final between Barcelona and Manchester United at Rome's Olympic Stadium this evening. Others are referee assistants Matthias Arnet, third from right, and Francesco Buragina, right, and fourth official Claudio Circhetta, second from right.

Today, ESPN, 11:25 a.m. (with the Dodgers-Rockies starting at noon on Prime Ticket) will be the Champions League final between Barcelona and Manchester United and ... wait, there's a stabbing pain in my leg ...

ROME (AP) -- An American and Manchester United fan were hospitalized after being stabbed today ahead of the Champions League final. Nine people, including United and Barcelona supporters, were arrested.

Four Italians were arrested in Ostia, on the coast near Rome, after they attacked an American, apparently mistaking him for a United supporter. The man was beaten up and stabbed in his thigh and backside, police said.

A United fan was taken to a hospital after he was stabbed in the thigh, police said. The fan reported that he had been attacked by four people near his hotel in the Vatican area.

Up to 50,000 United and Barcelona supporters converged on Rome for the match tonight, and large numbers of police patrolled the city.

Three Barcelona fans were arrested after police searched their car and found blunt objects, including clubs and a javelin, police said. They were traveling from Civitavecchia, a port near Rome where hundreds of Spanish fans had arrived by ship.

Two United fans were arrested for assaulting bystanders and police in Campo de Fiori, a historic piazza and popular tourist hangout. Police said the men were drunk despite a ban on alcohol sales imposed by authorities in areas including the city center and near the stadium.

Hundreds attended Pope Benedict XVI's public audience at the Vatican, waving their flags and scarves before the pontiff. The match referee, Massimo Busacca of Switzerland, greeted the pope at the end of the audience.

Some 67,000 people are expected to pack the Stadio Olimpico for the match.

Many could be stabbed later.

Maybe there's no write way to say this, but we'll try: The National Spelling Bee has no busines being presented to the American publik as a sport. On ESPN. On ABC. On any network teevee.

Otherwise, read the first account of this annual exersize from the Associated Press wire service, nowing that ESPN covers it for three hours starting at 7 a.m. on Thursday (with Eren Andruws assisting) and then ABC has two more hours in prime time (8 to 10 p.m., when most of these kids are fast aslepe) later that day -- and this celebrating the fact there's a contestent from China emerging makes this all smell of Little League baseball, when they decided eventually to make an "American" champ and an "International" champ and have them skware off for the world title:

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The oral rounds of the Scripps National Spelling Bee (linked here) opened Wednesday with a touch of geography and a celebratory pump of the arms from the first contestant from China.

Kun Jacky Qiao became the first speller to represent China in the competition for more than $40,000 in cash and prizes. The 12-year-old seventh-grader at the Beijing BISS International School, which caters to the children of expatriates in China, had no problem with "recuperate."

The bee has included international competitors for three decades. Two winners have come from outside the 50 states: Hugh Tosteson of Puerto Rico in 1975 and Jody-Anne Maxwell of Jamaica in 1998. This year's field also includes spellers from New Zealand, Ghana and South Korea.

Thirteen-year-old Lindsey Zimmer of Notasulga, Ala., was the first of a record 293 spellers in the 82nd annual bee to step to the microphone Wednesday. The eighth-grader who likes to play the flute aced the word "longitude," drawing out the letters with her Southern accent.

The competition began Tuesday with a written test. Those scores were to be combined with oral round results to determine who will advance to the semifinals. The finals will be broadcast by ABC during prime time Thursday for the fourth consecutive year.

The opening oral round gave the spellers their only guaranteed moments on stage, and the words were relatively easy -- at least compared with the mind-blowing stumpers officials planned for later rounds. Only 16 of the first 144 youngsters misspelled, while others raced through familiar words such as "lyric" and "custard."

There were also tense and comical moments that have made the bee compelling to watch. Some spellers smiled as they approached the microphone, while others seemed on the verge of nervous tears.

Canadian Jonathan Schut muttered "that's helpful" when told the origin of the word "gimmick" was unknown. The 14-year-old from Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island, breezed through it anyway.

After 14-year-old Imogen Page of Blue Hill, Maine, exhausted all the information she could get about the word "cowardice," she asked: "Is there anything else you can tell me?"

"It's a nice day," pronouncer Jacques Bailly offered.

Imogen handled the word with ease.

Two of the returning favorites went through their familiar rituals to correctly spell their words. Three-time finalist Kavya Shivashankar of Olathe, Kan., wrote with a finger on her palm as she called out the letters to "disciples," while last year's runner-up, Sidharth Chand of Bloomfield Hills, Mich., mimed writing on his placard to help him get through "chaotic."

Hey, kids ... would you rather be back home in Canada watching two U.S. teams going to the Stanley Cup finals, or in D.C. where you can possibly apply for asylum? By the way, we did a spellcheck on this story: It came out clean.

The annual election of the Shrine of the Eternals holds much anticipation for the results than those of the Baseball Hall of Fame because ... just because.

And Steve Dalkowski, Roger Maris and Jim Eisenreich now don't ever have to feel slighted by the later. They're a member of the former. Which, to many fans, is a bigger honor.

In voting for the 2009 Class by members of the Baseball Reliquary during April and May, Dalkowski had the greatest response (34 percent of the ballots returned), with Maris (30 percent) and Eisenreich (27 percent) just ahead of Effa Manley, Casey Stengel and Don Zimmer (all with 26 percent).

Dalkowski, Maris and Eisenreich will be enshrined at the Pasadena City Library on Sunday, July 19 by the Southern California-based nonprofit dedicated to fostering an appreciate of American art and culture through the context of baseball history.

One of these you definitely know about. Another you should know about. The third ... he's a former Dodger, remember?

Why is there a specialness about these three, and the others who've gone before them?

The most intriguing has to be Dalkowski (Wikipedia bio linked here with a story here by the HardballTimes.com linked here).

He was Ron Shelton's inspiration for Nuke LaLoose in the movie "Bull Durham" -- a wild, hard-throwing minor leaguer who logged nine minor-league seasons (1957-'65), amassing 1,400 strikeouts in 995 innings -- along with 1,354 walks. Otherwise unimposing (5-foot-10 and a buck 70), the left-hander was said to reach 105 to 110 mph (pre-radar) -- Ted Williams once said Dalkowski was the hardest thrower he'd ever seen. "White Lightning" threw so fast that at least one opposing batter soiled his uniform in expectation of facing him (or so the legend goes).

In one game, Dalkowski (with Earl Weaver as his manager in Aberdeen, South Dakota), threw a no-hitter with 20 strikeouts -- and 18 walks.

In a blog posting on SportsHollywood.com (linked here), former minor-leaguer Robert Fabbricatore admits that while he was "awarded a Bronze Star for my actions in Vietnam ... I should have gotten a Silver Star for spending 20 minutes in a batting cage with Steve Dalkowski."

Just before making the Baltimore Orioles' roster, Dalkowski blew out his arm. It led to a bout with what was described as "uncontrollable alcoholism." After his career was over, he headed out to these parts and was working for a time as a migrant farm worker in California's Central Valley. The Association of Professional Ball Players helped him for a 20-year span until the 1990s when he went to a health-care center in his hometown of New Britian, Conn., where he reportedly lives these days with his sister, about to turn 70 on June 3.

Terry Cannon, the executive director of the Baseball Reliquary, said he notified Dalkowski of his enshrinement and will attempt to contact him later this week to see if he is healthy enough to make a trip to Pasadena for his induction.

Maris (linked here), of course, set the single-season home-run record with 61 in 161 games in '61 (also the AL MVP with 132 runs scored), a mark since shattered by Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa and Barry Bonds and nearly approached by Alex Rodriguez. What do those four have in common? We're not sure.

But they really have nothing more in common with Maris, who died in 1985 after a bout with cancer. He's often mentioned as a player who deserves Baseball Hall of Fame induction -- 275 career homers, 851 RBI (142 of them coming in '61, the year after his first AL MVP season of 1960), but that may never happen. He played 12 seasons, the last two for the St. Louis Cardinals after the Yankees let him go following the 1966 season.

Why isn't he in the "real" Hall. Statistically alone, the Baseball Reference compares his body of work to those like Danny Tartabull, Eric Davis, Jesse Barfield and Tony Armas. But none of them are a two-time MVP and single-season record of anything.

Eisenrich (linked here), a member of the Dodgers in his last season in the big-leagues in 1998 (75 games, 147 at bats, .197 average, coming over in the package with Florida for Mike Piazza), battled through Tourette Syndrome during his career. The 50-year-old had uncontrolable physical tics and jerks and erratic behavior -- which resulted in the Minnesota Twins eventually waiving him for $1 before he was properly diagnosed. He was a very good left-handed hitter and outfielder for the Royals, Phillies and Marlins (playing in two World Series) and ended up playing 15 seasons with a .290 career mark.

Eisenreich began to produce for his new team, the Kansas City Royals, emerging as a gifted left-handed hitter and outfielder. In 1967, he was named the Royals most valuable He now heads the Missouri-based Jim Eisenreich Foundation for Children with Tourette Syndrome (linked here), which he founded with his wife in 1996.

These three join Shrine of the Eternals members Jim Abbott, Dick Allen, Emmett Ashford, Moe Berg, Yogi Berra, Ila Borders, Jim Bouton, Jim Brosnan, Bill Buckner, Roberto Clemente, Rod Dedeaux, Dock Ellis, Mark Fidrych, Curt Flood, Josh Gibson, William "Dummy" Hoy, Shoeless Joe Jackson, Bill James, Bill "Spaceman" Lee, Marvin Miller, Minnie Minoso, Buck O'Neil, Satchel Paige, Jimmy Piersall, Pam Postema, Jackie Robinson, Lester Rodney, Fernando Valenzuela, Bill Veeck Jr. and Kenichi Zenimura. Get them all together for a game, and you'd have one heck of a movie script.

More info on the organization at www.baseballreliquary.org.

It sounds like a movie we've already seen, something with Elisabeth Shue ... "Gracie," was it?

Naw, this one kicks more butt than anything Shue did.

The documentary "Kick Like A Girl," about a third-trade soccer team called the Mighty Cheetas that defied gender prejudice to compete with the boys, airs Wednesday on HBO at 6 p.m. with various repeats. But TiVo it now before it slips away.

The plot: After two undefeated seasons against girls' soccer teams their age and older, Utah's Mighty Cheetahs want a new challenge.

Boys.

Cheetahs coach Jenny Mackenzie chronicles the adventures of these third-grade underdogs as they set out to prove their game skills and overcome the skepticism of opponents and parents in the inspiring family documentary.

The film is narrated by Mackenzie's 8-year-old daughter, Lizzie, who manages to play despite battling juvenile diabetes, giving herself an insulin shot up to seven times a day.

The Mighty Cheetahs win their first three inter-gender games, surprising many of the boys, who admit the girls have officially "creamed" them. Shouting from the sidelines, the boys' parents find a girls' victory more difficult to digest. After watching the Mighty Cheetahs dominate on the soccer field, the boys, the parents and the audience alike come to find that "kick like a girl" can be a big compliment after all. As one of the boys observes, "If my friends say 'you kick like a girl,' I'd be like, 'Yeah, that's nice. Thank you!' "

Check out the movie's official site: http://www.kicklikeagirlmovie.com/

Photo by Tim Hoffarth
Lauren Hoffarth, 5, looks at the tribute to Nick Adenhart outside of Angels Stadium before Monday's game.

Things we learned over the last couple of days enjoying the time off with family, friends and many new non-strangers:

== It's been almost two months now since the tragic passing of Angels pitcher Nick Adenhart, but the collection of hats, photos, candles and other memorabilia that tastefully decorate the "mound" outside the entrance of Angel Stadium lives on as a touching tribute, which we were able to see and ponder before and after Monday's Angels-White Sox contest.

What started as a very small place to put flowers and grew into a massive gathering place to mourn in the days after has evolved into a small shrine that fans circled around and gazed at in the time after the Angels' fireworks show ended Monday.

Angels exec Tim Mead said the team has decided to let it remain "as long as the fans continue to call for it," with just occasional housekeeping. It has weathered the nearly 50 days and nights since April 9 when Adenhart and friends Henry Pearson and Courtney Stewart were killed in the car crash in Fullerton following Adenhart's impressive performance in his first start of the season.

Survivor Jon Wilhite continues to recover, his condition upgraded to "fair" as he undergoes speech, physical and occupational therapy at a rehabilitation center. Oakland A's catcher Kurt Suzuki, who played with Wilhite at Cal State Fullerton in 2004, put together an auction last weekend during the Titans' three-game homestand against Long Beach State to raise money for his rehab costs.

"Our hearts go out to all the families of those involved in this terrible tragedy," Suzuki said. "I only hope that the money raised will alleviate some of the cost that Jon and his family will be faced with during his long rehab process."

The A's are also hosting an online auction at oaklandathletics.com in June, and two more fundraisers will happen in July and August at Oakland Coliseum.

Donations can be made to the Jon Wilhite Recovery Fund, account 3980643658, at any Wells Fargo Bank branch, or to a tax deductible account set up through Manhattan Beach Little League by mailing a check to: Manhattan Beach Little League, P.O. Box 3512, Manhattan Beach, CA 90266, with "Jon Wilhite Recovery Fund" written in on the memo line.

Part of the post-accident surgery and six-week hospital stay included a rare operation on April 15 that reattached Wilhite's skull and spinal column.

Last week, Suzuki said he was exchanging text messages with Wilhite, who texted him to tell him he was discharged from the hospital.

"That's obviously great news," Suzuki said. "But he's still looking at a long, tough and not-inexpensive process of getting healthy again."

Mead says he speaks with Wilhite's uncle a couple of times a week and reports that Wilhite has returned home and will continue with out-patient therapy but his "outlook is bright and positive."

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== Our new favorite athlete: Wesley Korir.

Not so much for winning the L.A. Marathon in a record 2 hours, 8 minutes, 24 seconds. But for the fact (story linked here) that he ordered two tuna sandwiches from the local Subway store after winning -- one to eat right then after the race, and one to eat later that night. Upon leaving the shop, he saw a homeless woman asking for help. He gave her one of the sandwiches.

"I feel like God has given me the talent of running to show people his love," Korir said in the column by the Daily News' Jon Gold (linked here). "I've been thinking for months about going back to Kenya and starting a program to help youths understand their lives. People blame poverty. 'Oh, we're poor.' I was poor. But I didn't let poverty keep me down. You can do it, I want to go back and show them that it's been done."

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== If you caught any of the ABC coverage of the Indianapolis 500, explain how Vitor Meira is engulfed in flames one second, but is back on the track moments later without having lost a spot in the lead lap (see video above). That may be more unanswerable than how Danica Patrick finished third overall.

Meira was later carried off on a stretcher -- but that was only after he crashed into a wall later, which appears to have ended his season (story linked here; photo below). Meira broke two vertebrae in his lower back during a crash with rookie Raphael Matos -- only because Matos clipped Meira trying to pass him on lap 174, sending Meira's car sliding along the wall.

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== There's a story soon down the road soon on Stan Cline, the artist from Winnetka whose nostalgic portraits of former (and current) Los Angeles landmarks jump off the canvas in a brilliant, colorful way -- one that doesn't necessarily try to recreate a photograph in as much as it vibrantly captures so much character and personality. You look at the pieces and that moment in time becomes alive.

After years of running through his gallery at different arts fairs around town, we were moved to purchase a print in Hermosa Beach this weekend of his rendition of the old L.A. Wrigley Field -- a place torn down 40 years ago last March. We also tried to recapture some of its glory -- past and present -- in a column (linked here) as well as some blog postings (linked here and here).

Stan and his wife (longtime Daily News readers) will make it out to about two dozen events this year around Southern California (check the schedule on his site linked here to see the prints in their full glory, and save on shipping costs), Also view his gallery at his site (linked here) and order online.

In addition to reproductions of so many historical L.A. places, any of his prints of Dodger Stadium, a USC-UCLA game at the Coliseum, Santa Anita racetrack (left) or the old Gilmore Stadium (right) will certainly dress up any art collection. Even when put next to old photographs of the same place. Your eye will immediately go to the painting before the photo because there's more fun there.

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== We regrettably missed the moved-out-of-Denver WWE "Monday Night Raw" show last night from Staples Center, or the telecast of it (TiVo was too full of Lakers, Dodgers, Indy 500 and L.A. Marathon for one weekend ... oh, right, Senior PGA Golf, too).

We were amused to hear that, in addition to a "showdown" between Vince McMahon and the phoney Stan Kroenke, the featured match consisted of five "good guys" in Lakers jerseys against five "heels" in Nuggets jerseys, while actors dressed as Jack Nicholson and Dr. Jerry Buss watched ringside (watch it here). These "Lakers" at least weren't routed by nearly 20 points -- which means that the series won't end at Staples Center on Wednesday night.

Or ... was the highlight Monday when a wrestler who came into the ring with a Clippers' jersey (Baron Davis' No. 1), leading the broadcasters to comment: "What kind of idiot would wear a Clippers' jersey?"

If the Clippers ever wanted equal time -- and maybe it'll come in tonight's WWE show, also at Staples Center -- there could be a team of "plantation owners" -- lead by owner Donald Sterling -- facing off against a team of "slaves" led by Elgin Baylor and ... you fill in the blanks.

Apparently, enough people still watched the Lakers-Nuggets Game 4 (instead of the WWE Raw) to give ESPN's teleast an 7.1 overnight rating. Saturday's Game 3 did a 5.4 rating (8.725 milllion viewers) to become ABC's most-viewed NBA Conference Final game ever (a 2006 Detroit-Miami Eastern Conference game had 8.19 million viewers with a 5.5 rating).

The fact that Charles Barkley nearly killed a spectator with an errant shot on the golf course (above) shouldn't discourage you from watching the conclusion of the Golf Channel series, "The Haney Project," where golf swing guru Hank Haney tries to fix the worst swing in golf -- belonging to Barkley. It all comes to a merciful end tonight (7 p.m.) when the former NBA hacker has to decide if he's improved enough to keep trying to play.

Haney and Barkley play their final nine holes together, with Julius Erving among the people who join them for a hole. After Erving says he might work with Haney to improve his distance, Barkley reacts: "Hank only works with me and Tiger."

The show takes a strange twist when Jo Ann Rose, a Golf Channel viewer from Pickerington, Ohio, arrives to thank Barkley for inspiring her to play golf again. She says she saw the first episode of "The Haney Project" and, after laughing, "it dawned on me that if you were not afraid after years of embarassment and hurt, then why should I be afraid to get back out on the course?" Rose had just taken up golf with her husband when a major illness forced her to quit.

Even Tiger has a hard time trying to capture the essence of Barkley's swing:

About a half-hour into a endless game of "duck 'n' cover" with another set of user-friendly waves along the Redondo Beach shoreline, the numbness in the legs began to raise questions about the dumbness of the idea.

Yet, as much as we'd hope the Body Glove rash guard would fully guard us from any and all frigid anxiety, there's really never a wrong time to take the first Boogie Board ride of the summer.

Even if the water temps hadn't got past the feel of a melted Otter Pop.

It was about 8:30 a.m. on Saturday and the typically murky marine layer wasn't doing a very good job of discouraging the early risers from diving into the Memorial Day weekend with a flashback to a high school science lesson in harnessing thermal energy.

Off to the left of the lifeguard stand, the silver-tipped swells seemed to suit the wet-suited surfers just fine. Even a paddle surfer - that's a guy crazy enough to stand on the board and use a long oar to cut through the water like a kayaker - stayed unfazed. Of course, he was above it all.

To the right, the joggers with the baggy sweatsuits who kicked up the soggy sand as they ran stayed focused to their iPods, blocking out the elements with their minds, forging ahead to achieve bigger goals. Maybe even training for Monday's marathon.
Straight ahead, the swells simply looked too swell to pass up.

From the selection of Boogie Boards stored away in the garage, we went with the Baja 42.5 Morey model. Dinged and dented, bashed and gashed, slightly warped and a bit bruised, it has stood the test of summertime past. And fall. And occasionally a test run in December. The Velcro on the leash worked just dandy, despite all the sand caked on.

It's been my floatie of choice for years now. One can never grow bored with this particular board.

First, you gotta give it to the surfers. The surfboard requires balance, agility and no fear of the flying fins. Gotta laugh at the body surfers. They're simply swimmers who go with the flow - and usually end up with a bigger face full of seaweed that they'd bargain for.

With the Boogie Board, the hybrid vehicle of off-shore transportation, there's no roof racks or tow clamps needed for the car to get it to its destination. No waxing on or waxing off.

Grab it and go. Try to keep up.

The essence of the Boogie Board - aside from the obvious - really comes from paddling out beyond the buoyant clump of surfers, past the rough-n-tumble waves, and out to the serene calmness of the environment. Stop and smell the saltwater. Take hold of the top and bottom edges of the board, tuck your legs under it and, using it like a large laptop, roll with the rhythm.

If you're lucky, a school of dolphins will pass by - in between you and the shore. Don't panic. Watch, quietly.

A guy who seemed about my age came roaring past me on his longboard. On his way back out, he skimmed by and smiled.

"How's it goin'?" I asked.

"Sweet," he said with a big grin.

No further explanation needed.

At one point, the gray, green sea suddenly turned a true blue - the sun broke through and lit up the scene like a movie-set spotlight. I spun around back toward the sand to see the brightness overhead. Just at that moment, a strange shadow crept over my left shoulder - it was about a five-foot wave that decided to appear without notice.

A couple of cartwheels later - unlike riding the Nemo submarine ride at Disneyland -- I'd landed ashore in a muck of disorientated mess. Most of that due to having the snot knocked out of me.

A wiser person may have taken that as a sign to head back to the beach chair, dry off and regroup.

Someone who has waited too many months for the start of summer to begin had better plans.

Back into the water. The ride isn't finished. It's just started.

Let's boogie.

True or false: D-Fish was spotted in a small panic at a local Costco before heading to Denver, trying to buy jump shots in bulk? Despite the fact he ran past the guy at the front door (who strangely looked like Sasha Vujacic) in 0.4 seconds without flashing his membership card? Would it have been easier for him to just ask the guy in the hairnet with the tray of manufactured salmon-and-olive cracker samples (who strangely looked like Jordan Farmar) where they keep the eight-gallon jugs of Kaopectate?

== By the way, not to look too deep into a Nike ad, but what does make Kobe Bryant's "unstoppable" so unstoppable? Does that apply to the next couple of days when the Mamba has some supervised downtime in the greater Denver area and decides to go looking for the back-alley joint where Kenyon Martin got those ruby red lips tattooed on his neck?

== How's this for a plan: Next time a Laker player misses a critical free throw at a crucial juncture in a playoff contest, he doesn't step away from the line and slap hands with his teammates, who seem to be offering him a hearty congratulation for his lack of ability to sink an uncontested, flat-footed shot from 15-feet away as the home crowd goes silent to help him concentrate?

== Can Doc Buss do something now to guarantee that, somewhere down the road, George Karl replaces Phil Jackson? Or does that need some special daughter approval?

== Chris "Birdman" Andersen: So this is what happened to Macaulay Culkin?

== Has Blake Griffin began his search at LegalZoom.com to find anyone with the juice to a) draw up an effective cease-and-desist court order to keep any Clipper employee from coming within 1,000-feet of his private workouts before next month's draft - refer to the case of Danny Ferry v. Elgin Baylor somewhere on the books -- and b) work a pre-nup with Donald Sterling just in case there is nothing in the federal anti-trust habeas corpusing rules that preclude Mike Dunleavy from insisting he must come to L.A. (the alternative: All-Star point guard in the Greek League) and live in some low-cost high-rise that encourages all ethnic backgrounds and children to flourish in perfect harmony?

== When trying to figure out the exact date when Manny Ramirez returns to the Dodgers' lineup, is it more accurate to first check the master MLB calendar, or yield to Manny's illogical biological clock?

== The Dodgers' top long-ball producer currently resides in the magic No. 8 hole? And you worry about Joe Torre batting the pitcher eighth on occasion?

== Has Torre considered having Matt Kemp participate in the new Sunday Jr. Dodgers Kids Run the Base program - not as an instructor?

== Would you be more enticed to watch Sunday's Indy 500 if you could see Danica Patrick on the pole?

thomas.hoffarth@dailynews.com

An incredibily unproductive week of inhaling the freshness of media news and exhaling the carbon dioxide of warmed-over cliches used to express the delight of so much NFL media news in one week in May that basketball, baseball and hockey had to step aside for some of it.

In this last week before summer '09 begins, we can turn off the tanning light knowing that:

== Rick Reillyseems to be stealing from himself, or maybe he's just freshening things up from a 2003 column for SI (now that it's 2009 and he's at ESPN ... aw, the beauty of a google search and the SI.com vault) (linked here)?

== Linda Cohn has a fan club, and we're not in it? (linked here)

== Is the prerequisite for being involved in the new Michael Irvin reality show having an ability to barf? (linked here)

== Jon Gruden was the best person ESPN could find for "Monday Night Football"? (linked here) Even Joe Theismann wonders if he'll stay longer than two years (linked here). Peter King writes that Gruden has really rocked the boat at the NFL Net for bailing out on 'em (linked here). Others have found that Gruden's a bit of a hyprocrite when it comes to his love for ESPN (linked here). And happy trails to Tony Kornheiser , who says it was the plane travel, but then admits, he wants to go out with Madden and Favre (linked here). Is he the last of the sportswriters-turned-analysts (linked here)?

== Fox (linked here) and CBS (linked here) are digging in for two more years of NFL games, meaning more of Howie Long and less of Thurston Long ... yet, are we better off for this?.

== A new Fox sitcom with Michael Strahan either sounds awesome (linked here) or like the worst show ever (linked here).

== Fox also has talked MLB (or visa versa) into an earlier start for the World Series (linked here). Maybe it can do something to help local broadcasters when they want to air a game opposite of the network on a Saturday afternoon (linked here)

== Shaquille O'Neal didn't get enough broadcast journalism training at LSU, so he's trying to find an excuse to go to Syracuse (linked here).

== Virtually, ESPN is bringing NBA players into their studio (linked here)

== Internet response to "Kobe Doin' Work," which debuted on ESPN and ESPN2 last Saturday (linked here) included this on TheBigLead.com from someone named "mrejr8234":

"I actually recorded it but then i realized that spike (lee) ... sucks and he is supposedly a knicks fan who is trying to do anything to remain relevant so i deleted it. seriously of all the direxctors, actors and producers in l.a. none of them could have made this "documentary"? they had to bring in spike lee because???? why? a 2 hour doc on marbury would have been more entertaining on so many different levels. we know that kobe's teammates and opponents dont like him so why would we care to see him fake it like they do?"

== Steven Cohen saying he was ... sorry? Damn (linked here)

== NBC ABC better make sure Rachel Alexandra runs in the Preakness (linked here)

== Girls kicking each other under the guise of MMA will be prime network fodder someday soon (linked here)

== Jim Rome goes with smacktalk against horses (linked here)

== George Brett could have his own HBO sports-talk show (linked here) But, of course, he ended up apologizing (linked here), but not for the pants he was wearing while golfing.

== ESPN, moving forward (linked here), includes a show with Colin Cowherd, thankfully (linked here).

== An L.A. hockey audience (distracted by a Laker game) won't necessarily boost ratings for NBC (linked here)

== Looks as if we should have been paying closer attention to the Golf Channel's "Big Break" episodes (linked here)?

== Keith Olbermann doesn't misremember when Vin Scully told him he considered becoming the New York Yankees' broadcaster in 1964 (linked here)

== We didn't let the 70th anniversary of the first televised baseball game go by unnoticed (linked here).

== Brooks Melchior is rethinking his future as the SportsbyBrooks guy (linked here).

AND FINALLY:

== From the season-finale of "Saturday Night Live," a sketch that could have been funnier spoofing the fact TNT has those pop-up promos coming on the screen at every moment -- but then, who doesn't?

Ernie Johnson Jr. would never be that mean to just walk away, right? Not after we read more about him in this Atlanta Journal-Constitution feature (linked here) which has a strange L.A. angle to it.

In case you haven't seen 'em (banking on the fact the Lakers and Cavs reach the NBA Finals):

You don't think the LeBron puppet actually looks a little like Stuart Scott?

That won't come back to haunt LeBron if he's ever connected to a cocaine ring..

Beyond today's media column (linked here) are more media notes for the money as the Memorial Day picnic kicks off our summer of stove devices appropriate for wienie roasting:

== NBC calls it the "oldest and most prestigious golf event in senior golf," the 70th Senior PGA Championship. Sounds kinda redundant. But the network has six hours of it Saturday (noon to 3 p.m.) and Sunday (9 a.m. to noon) from Canterbury Golf Club outside of Cleveland. Dan Hicks and Gary Koch will anchor. Meanwhile, CBS sticks to that stale PGA Tour storyline with the Byron Nelson Classic (Saturday and Sunday, noon to 3 p.m.) from somewhere in the Republic of Texas.

== Game 4 of the Detroit-Chicago Western Conference finals follows the NBC golf coverage on Sunday (noon, Channel 4) with Doc Emrick, Eddie Olczyk and Pierre McGuire. "Chicago can definitely get back in this series," said McGuire. "The home ice crowd in Chicago is a huge ally for the Blackhawks. It's going to be really important for them to score early and keep the crowd in it."

== ESPN2/ABC has committed to full-on HD coverage of the WNBA this season, starting with the Sparks' game at Staples Center against defending champion Detroit on Saturday, June 6 (11:30 a.m., Channel 7). This is the first of an eight-year contract extension between ESPN and the WNBA through 2016 -- for those who think the league may just disappear. Carolyn Peck and Nancy Lieberman will alternate as game analysts and with play-by-play from Terry Gannon, Dave Pasch and Pam Ward with reporters Heather Cox and Rebecca Lobo. The Sparks have five games on the network schedule, including Tuesday, July 14 (at Connecticut, ESPN2), Tuesday, Aug. 11 (home vs. New York, ESPN2, 6 p.m.); Tuesday, Aug. 25 (home vs. Chicago, ESPN2, 7 p.m.) and Sunday, Sept. 13 (at Phoenix, ESPN2, noon),

== The Kings have procured the services of ESPN's John Buccigross to serve as the "official host" of L.A. Kings Hockey Fest '09, a three-day interactive festival celebrating the all that is puckish between Friday evening, August 28, and Sunday, August 30 at LA Live near Staples Center. Did you know: Buccigross, an ESPN.com writer, also is the co-author of the hockey book "Jonesy: Put Your Head Down and Skate - The Improbable Career of Keith Jones"?

== Fox's coverage of the Coca-Cola 600 from Lowe's in North Carolina starts at 2 p.m. (Channel 11) and has a 5 1/2 hour window, with Mike Joy, Darrell Waltrip and Larry McReynolds.

== ESPN has the UEFA Champions League final between Manchester Untied and FC Barcelona in Rome on Wednesday (11:25 a.m.) with Derek Rae, Tommy Smyth, and Dave Roberts. ESPN Classic will re-air it at 2:30 p.m.

== Baseball across the weekend: Fox sends the Phillies-Yankees contest from Yankee Stadium to most of the country with Joe Buck, Tim McCarver and Ken Rosenthal (Saturday, 12:30 p.m., Channel 11); ESPN has the Brewers at Minnesota (Sunday, 5 p.m. with Jon Miller, Joe Morgan and Steve Phillips).

AND FINALLY:

== These really are outstandingly bitchin' ESPN spots for the NBA Finals (especially the one with Kobe feeding Shaq on that dunk against Portland in the Western Conference finals of 2000) (that one is linked here):

Following up today's media column on Doris Burke (linked here), more of her talking about her approach to the job of being in a unique position -- a female doing NBA games -- with photographic evidence that she does know how to smile (the secret: ice cream):

== On whether the fact she's a woman in this men's TV world is still a story: "I think it's still a story, but I don't know how much longer. For not just a male but for a female, it's still an unusual circumstance to hear a woman on an NBA game other than in the sideline role. It's not something that happens with great frequency, but it doesn't surprise me. I'm not offended. "

== On the dynamics involved in how a male viewer comes to accept a female broadcaster on a live sporting event: "That's an interesting discussion and I really think it might be a generational situation. I was at a Big East media day in October, and Jim O'Connell (long-time Associated Press basketball writer) stopped me -- and it wasn't far removed from last spring when I was doing color on NBA games -- and he made a point to tell me: 'I think it's important that I tell you from someone of my generation, while I found it strange to hear your voice the first few times, as I listened I thougth you did a good job.' For someone like him so is so respected, that made me happy. Another time recently at the Hall of Fame in Springfield (MA), when I was there for Dick Vitale's induction, (Detroit Pistons GM) Joe Dumars said he enjoyed listening to me. Those kind of things mean something to me. I think it'll take time and the more it happens, then generationally, it'll change and become less unusual. It'll take its natural course and get to the point where it's simply not talked about."

== On whether she has discussions with her bosses about the advancement of female sportscasters: "Between my work schedule and my two kids, those aren't the disucssions I have (with them). I try to be prepared and see where that takes me. I was told recently that there's a female who's being considered for the Charlotte Bobcats fulltime color job, Stephanie Ready (linked here), and those kind of things make me excited. Progress is progress."

== On what kind of feedback she gets from her kids: My son Matthew texted me from the golf course today and said, 'Nice job last night.' I know his friends say some things to him about occasionally seeing his mom on TV and for the most part I think they've been positive. I always worry about the reaction his friends have. I don't want to make life for a 14-year-old any more difficult than it has to be."

And a quote from Bob Rauscher, ESPN's vice president of NBA production: "We believe Doris' commentary and analysis resonates well with our audience. She has a deep knowledge of the game and an ability to articulate her insight in a meaningful way, qualities which are paramount in broadcasting."

John McCoy/Daily News Staff Photographer
Doris Burke catches Lakers coach Phil Jackson for a question before the fourth quarter of Tuesday's NBA Western Conference finals at Staples Center.

Get used to Doris Burke. Doing sidelines on the ESPN and ABC coverage of the Western Conference finals, she'll also join the Mike Breen-Jeff Van Gundy-Mark Jackson team when the network airs the NBA Finals starting early next month. She was already a game analyst on a Lakers-Jazz first-round contest, and has been doing NBA calls for the last couple of years.

And get used to Jeanne Zelasko. Her first gig as a play-by-play voice for the Dodgers was Wednesday night from the Vin Scully Press Box, when the Dodgers put her with former player Mark Sweeney to cover the contest against the Mets as part of the team's WIN program, giving women a stronger voice in the sports community.

Both take their jobs seriously, but also realize that if they're not having fun doing the broadcast, the audience won't either. So we'll see how both approach their jobs in Friday's media column.

Some other required reading about Burke from national media sources over the last few years, mostly about how and why it's tough for a female to make a mark in the man's TV sports world:

== Her ESPN bio (linked here)
== A piece on her a couple of weeks ago by the Dallas Morning News' Barry Horn (linked here)
== A piece on her last year by the New York Times' Richard Sandomir (linked here)
== A piece on her in 2004 by USA Today's Michael Heistand (linked here)
== Why are some guys not able to handle the voice of a woman doing "their" games, wonders Deadspin.com's Drew Magary ? (linked here)

And if you missed Zelasko's debut, listen to the archived replay at dodgers.com/win (linked here).

Kobe, LeBron and Justin Timberlake -- a combo we may never have thought probable, but ESPN has them together for a documentary called "Dream Seasons 23 & 24," a one-hour sponsored show (today, ESPN, 4 p.m.) with Timberlake narrating it.

It is "presented by Nike," so consider the source. A lot of kids in third-world countries put in many hours editing this piece.

The ESPN blurb on it: "(This) will chronicle the past seasons of Cleveland's LeBron James, the league's MVP, and Los Angeles Lakers star Kobe Bryant. From Olympic gold in Beijing to the quest for each to lead his team to the top of the respective NBA conferences, the cameras will provide unique access into James' and Bryant's preparation and stellar performances on the court."

Rankings for the top 15 programs on cable networks as compiled by Nielsen Media Research for the week of May 11-17. Day and start time (EST) are in parentheses:

1. NBA Playoffs: Orlando vs. Boston (Sunday, 8:07 p.m.), TNT, 5.89 million homes, 8.38 million viewers.

2. NBA Playoffs: Lakers vs. Houston (Thursday, 9:51 p.m.), ESPN, 5.3 million homes, 7.35 million viewers.

3. NBA Playoffs: Orlando vs. Boston (Tuesday, 8 p.m.), TNT, 3.92 million homes, 5.23 million viewers.

4. NBA Playoffs: Houston vs. Lakers (Tuesday, 10:45 p.m.), TNT, 3.9 million homes, 5.18 million viewers.

5. NBA Playoffs: Denver vs. Dallas (Monday, 9:53 p.m.), TNT, 3.57 million homes, 4.83 million viewers.

6. NBA Playoffs: Boston vs. Orlando (Thursday, 7 p.m.), ESPN, 3.51 million homes, 4.79 millioin viewers.

7. NBA Playoffs: Denver vs. Dallas (Wednesday, 9:09 p.m.), TNT, 3.5 million homes, 4.57 million viewers.

8. "WWE Raw" (Monday, 10 p.m.), USA, 3.38 million homes, 4.94 million viewers.

9. "WWE Raw" (Monday, 9 p.m.), USA, 3.09 million homes, 4.41 million viewers.

10. "In Plain Sight" (Sunday, 10 p.m.), USA, 3.05 million homes, 3.94 million viewers.

11. "ICarly: I Date a Bad Boy" (Wednesday, 6 p.m.), Nickelodeon, 2.99 million homes, 3.89 million viewers.

12. "SpongeBob SquarePants" (Saturday, 9:30 a.m.), Nickelodeon, 2.97 million homes, 3.78 million viewers.

13. "Penguins of Madagascar" (Saturday, 10 a.m.), Nickelodeon, 2.954 million homes, 3.86 million viewers.

14. NBA Playoffs: Cleveland vs. Atlanta (Monday, 7 p.m.), TNT, 2.953 million homes, 3.94 million viewers.

15. "ICarly" (Saturday, 8 p.m.), Nickelodeon, 2.88 million homes, 4.31 million viewers.

Offerings of summer stuff that MLB.com has up on its site these days ... for real:

== Dodgers Women's Swarovski Crystal Necklace Tank Top By Majestic Threads (linked here)
$44.99
100% ribbed cotton; stitched team logo applique with genuine Swarovski Crystals
Coverstitching at bottom hem line; longer length; feminine fit

That's ribbed cotton, for her pleasure.... and yes, there's an Angels version (linked here) if you're into brunettes ...

== Dodgers Women's 2-pc Triangle Bikini Set by G-III Sport (linked here)
$39.99
80% nylon / 20% spandex; Light Padding; Team logo on left chest

Thanks for letting us know where the team logo is. ... we'd never have spotted it.

== Dodgers Inflatable Cooler (linked here)
$44.99
32 quart capacity floating inflatable cooler features official team logo and coordinating stripes; 4 numbered cup holders and two plastic handles; made of thick, durable polyvinyl; cleans up easily with warm soapy water and deflates for easy storage. Size: 21" x 35"

Let's see Dodger fans bat this one around in the stands during a lull in play.

== Threesource New York Yankees Pedal Car (linked here)
$89.99
What better way for your child to cheer for their beloved Yanks than driving the officially licensed MLB pedal car by ThreeSource? Our pedal cars provide interactive physical fun for your child and an opportunity to support their favorite team. Our cars are pedal powered allowing your child to pedal the car both forward and in reverse. Your Lil' Yankee will pedal their heart away while racing towards another exciting season!

What kid going from Grand Central Station to the Bronx would consider driving when the subway or a taxi gets them to any destination? This youngin' hasn't been taught yet the proper way to flip off a pedestrian crossing in front of him. ... This Dodger kid below comes closer (linked here), unless he's just trying to get Roger Owens' attention for another bag of peanuts.

== Angels 36" Inner Tube (linked here)
$19.99
Silk screened uniform stripe and team logo on both sides; made of tough .25mm polyvinyl.

Rides nicely on the waterfall in center field at Angel Stadium.

== New York Yankees Watermelon Scratch-n-Sniff Child's Cap (linked here)
$14.99
by New Era; Scratch the watermelons embroidered on the visor to release scent; Hair-safe velcro adjustable back; Child-sizing, 4-7 years.

Because scratching and sniffing a life-sized A-Rod doll just isn't appropriate. ... There's also a Mets version (linked here), because, well, you know how New York can smell too much like Strawberry in the summer.

== Tampa Bay Rays "Beat New York" T-Shirt by Majestic Athletic (linked here)
$19.99
100% Cotton; screen printed

There is not a version on the Red Sox team site, for some reason. Or on the New York Mets' site. Or ... on any of the other 28 teams. Would seem to be a natural.

== Wincraft Dodgers 5 Quart Galvanized Pail (linked here)
$15.99
These metal pails are made of rust resistant galvanized steel. They have a waterproof sealed bottom and are great for holding ice, water, dirt, or anything else you would like to carry or hold in these great decorative pail. Measures 7"h. x 9"dia. Made in USA.

Also sturdy enough to carry a Manny Ramirez urine sample.

Jeanne Zelasko's first shot at doing play-by-play for the Dodgers tonight (listen on www.dodgers.com/win) is also previewed here on this version of Deadspin.com (linked here), which links to a lazy City News Service wire version that the Daily News' news section decided it needed to run today (linked here).

Prep by reading all the inane comments that readers actually put into print in the comments part of the story (linked here)

Deadspin.com (linked here) has excerpts from an upcoming ESPN The Magazine story on Clippers owner Donald Sterling that may be Burns-old news to some, but at least puts his resume in order when it comes to documenting his dislike for anyone who isn't like him.

Would that apply to Blake Griffin? We'll have to see how he reacts to that one soon.

Allegations against Sterling come from lawsuits that have been settled, but that was only to prevent further shame. Elgin Baylor must be hoping that'll be the end of his pending lawsuit against the sharecropper as well.

ESPN says enough did to make it the most-viewed basketball telecast ever -- pro or college -- in the 30-year history of the network.

Tuesday's Lakers-Nuggets Game 1 had a 5.8 rating (5.6 million homes; 8.05 million viewers) to break the ESPN mark of 5.3 million homes/7.3 million viewers/5.4 rating who saw its coverage of the Lakers-Rockets Game 6 of the Western Conference semifinals less than a week ago.

In L.A., the game had a 13.2 rating; in Denver, it was 16.1.

From John Rolfe's "Getting Loose" column on SI.com (linked here):

As the mystery of Manny Ramirez's chemical transgression continues to unspool -- apparently elevated synthetic testosterone and not the female fertility drug hCG tripped him up -- reader Joey of Dallas, TX ... suggests that Manny may have had a legit reason for that hCG prescription that was discovered in his medical records (Manny's, not Joey's):

Please just look up hCG diet on Google. Why is no one in the media mentioning this usage? I have no clue why Manny was taking it, but y'all complete mischaracterize the drug as having no other legitimate uses.

Speaking for this humble media outlet, this space had never heard of the hCG diet (linked here). But alack and alas, research suggests that a daily hCG injection can help shed up to two pounds per day, and possibly more, when accompanied by a starvation diet of 500 calories. So perhaps Manny, who has been looking a little zaftig of late, was merely trying to shed some unsightly avoirdupois before bikini season begins.

We're willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

The Tony Kornheiser -out, Jon Gruden -in storyline that ESPN has created for its 2009 "Monday Night Football" package seems to be something that needs instant dissection.

There has to be a truth in there no one's telling us about. A Theismann-esque puss-filled boil ready to explode. A blackmail attempt gone bad. Or, the truth that Kornheiser really can't pry himself out of the business class seat to use the restroom at 40,000 feet.

Truth is, we're not all that interested in this one. Sure, it involves a sportswriter who was given a shot, but now he's relented because of his fear of traveling in jet-propelled tincans. That's a horrible hurdle to have in a job that requires travel sometimes. Like a welder afraid of fire.

We're reading more and more and more about why this all happened, and not sure we really need to get sucked into this vortex of a story that really seems to be quite simple.

Newsday reports that Kornheiser asked ESPN boss John Skipper if he could have a limited schedule because of the travel. ESPN said no. So Kornheiser, who had another year on his four-year deal, and was probably going to leave anyway, just did it a year earlier.

Said Kornheiser on Tuesday's episode of PTI: "Here's the deal: I did three years, I thought I got better each year. I thought every once in awhile Jaws and I were actually getting close to you and I, Wilbon, and I'm grateful for the fabulous opportunity to be a sportswriter in the booth. But the truth is I hate flying, as everyone who knows me knows, and this year's schedule has about 3 million flights in it." In his Washington Post column, he also wrote: "I did it for three years, which is three years more than I ever thought I would do it, which is three more years than any sportswriter has ever done it. ... I don't leave with any regrets. I mean, who gets this opportunity? ... But if you are paying attention, I'm open for business on radio. I would love to do radio again."

If one really needs to dig their claws into some part of this, it's the Gruden hiring. ESPN should have just hired Rachel Alexandra if it was simply looking for a fresh (long) face. ... and a female to boot.

Gruden makes no sense on many levels. He hardly seems to committed to it. He hardly seems like the kind of person whose personality would make a difference on game telecasts, unless you can see his face on a picture-in-a-picture contort with each play. ESPN already has Mike Ditka, a walking soundbite, on staff, who could be as explosive on a live telecast and draw attention to it as anyone around. Yet, he wasn't picked.

We'll end it here. We're finished with the subject. Time to play a little Madden '08 to pass a few hours. We've added Michael Vick back to our roster and want to see how he does as a tight end.

Joe Theismann, fired three years ago as the analyst on ESPN's "Monday Night Football," talks with Adam Schein and Jim Miller about the show replacing Tony Kornheiser with Jon Gruden on the Sirius NFL Radio show today:

On Gruden: The man knows a ton about football. He understands the game. He'll bring a perspective and I think he'll play off of Jaws [Ron Jaworski] very, very well. I think it's a very good move by them."

On how long Gruden will stay: "I'd go an over-under on two (years). ... Jon Gruden won a world championship [and he's] not coaching. Brian Billick won a world championship, not coaching. Mike Holmgren won a world championship, not coaching. Mike Shanahan won a world championship, not coaching. Bill Cowher won a world championship, not coaching. How about that for an alumni of Super Bowl Champion coaches that are not actively coaching in the game? I think that will change. I feel confident Mike Holmgren will be back in the game next year, Mike Shanahan will be back in the game next year [and] I know if the right situation came up for Brian Billick he would want to be back in the game. I'm not convinced that Coach Cowher will ever get back into football. Actually, I played golf with him this past weekend in a tournament and I looked at his face and I said, 'It's really something to see you without all those stress lines all over your face. You look like a 21 year old kid again.' And he started laughing. And it's just the nature of the business that wears you out. I think Jon's going to have the itch to get back. Could be at the college level, could be at the professional level. I think either place he goes it would be very interesting for him."

It's only come up because ESPN execs had to do a song and dance (called "upfronts") to advertisers, trying to convince them that their upcoming programming will be worth them investing into their product.

We've got this from TVWeek.com, which was there to see the pony show (linked here) with the 25-words or less summary: The 'new male consumer' wants more live events, more things happening on the screen, and better retention of ads that pop up.

Meaning, it adds up to more ADD programming. Thank goodness.

From Monday's World Soccer Daily, following up on Scott Wolf's story from last week (linked here)

He nailed it. Especially calling out those "hiding behind their computers and keyboards."

By Eddie Pells
The Associated Press

The soothing sounds of Yanni and the chair-breaking chaos of pro wrestling have this much in common: They put bodies in the seats, money in the register and have caused the NHL and NBA a couple of headaches this playoff season.

They also remind that while teams like the Denver Nuggets and Pittsburgh Penguins play for cups and rings and trophies, the bottom line at their arenas -- and most arenas -- is still the bottom line.

"The facility is just as important, or in some cases, more important than the franchise itself," explains Wayne McDonnell, a professor at the New York University Tisch Center who used to handle scheduling logistics at Madison Square Garden.

Which is one way to explain how the Penguins recently found themselves getting iced by Yanni and the Nuggets currently find themselves in a smackdown with Vince McMahon, the chairman of World Wrestling Entertainment.

The company that owns the Nuggets had to scrub next week's WWE Monday Night Raw wrestling date at the Pepsi Center to make way for Game 4 of the Western Conference finals against the Lakers.

Earlier this month, a Yanni concert scheduled for Mellon Arena in Pittsburgh -- along with a number of other events, including WWE -- forced the Penguins and Washington Capitals to play playoff games on back-to-back nights, first in Pittsburgh, then in Washington.

The Nuggets, Colorado Avalanche and the Pepsi Center are all owned by the same company. Squeezing every penny out of that building through ticket sales, concessions, parking, luxury suites and souvenirs for all events -- even those not involving the primary tenants -- helps pay the multimillion-dollar salaries that keep the teams in business.

That's Nicole Sikora, of Valley Cottage, N.Y.

She's no longer on the Golf Channel's "Big Break Prince Edward Island" show, after Brian Skatell of Greenburg, Pa., knocked her out of the competition in Episode 5. Two episodes earlier, Skatell KO'd Kim Kouwabunpat.

According to the channel's account of how it's gone down -- we admit, we haven't been watching so we need to get up to date -- Sikora escaped playing in an elimination challenge through the first four shows, but found herself in a do-or-die situation after losing a one-hole immunity challenge to Brenda McLarnon. After Aaron Wright defeated Sikora in the first stage of the elimination challenge - a contest featuring greenside bunker shots - she faced Skatell for survival.

Playing out of rough situated on a hill just 20 yards off the third green at River Mill Golf Club in Prince Edward Island, the first player holing their ball in two shots would advance. Skatell was successful on the duo's third attempt while Sikora's putt faded by the hole to end her run in the series.

"I thought that I would make that last putt, but I missed and now I am going home," is how Sikora summed up her elimination.

So there are seven left, trying to win $100,000. The winner will be sponsored to play on "a Tour" for an entire year. Past "Big Break" winners have played on exemptions on the PGA, LPGA, European, Champsions, Nationwide and Canadian tours.

The sixth episode of "Big Break Prince Edward Island" airs Monday at 6 p.m.

Earlier, CBS announced its new NFL contract extension (linked here). Fox has yet to do the same, keeping the NFC, but it's also happened, and it will do the Super Bowl after the 2014 season.

"Fox Sports is pleased to have reached this two year broadcast rights extension with the NFL," network chairman David Hill said in a statement released by the Associated Press. "The NFL on Fox has been the centerpiece of the network's big-event sports strategy for 15 years, and the NFC package is clearly the most-watched and highest-rated the NFL has to offer."

UPDATED: A better version of this "Shaq-ademic" experiment is up on Syracuse.com (linked here).

The Associated Press

SYRACUSE, New York -- Shaquille O'Neal is in training for his next career.

The 7-foot-1 center for the Phoenix Suns is taking a course at Syracuse University known as Sportscaster U, a crash course designed to teach athletes about the broadcasting industry. He arrived on Sunday and started school Monday at the S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications.

"I've been an athlete that's sort of in advance; always thinking," O'Neal said Monday during a break in his studio work. "After basketball I'd love to have my own radio show, my own TV show."

Sportscaster U is essentially a broadcasting boot camp started last year by Syracuse radio play-by-play announcer Matt Park and fellow Syracuse alum Dave Ryan, an ESPN announcer. Park and Ryan are adjunct professors at Newhouse.

The inaugural Sportscaster U was held last summer in conjunction with the National Basketball Players Association.Four players, including Eric Snow and Adrian Griffin, signed up for the hands-on course.

They will host another session for more NBA players later this summer, but this week's session was designed specifically for Shaq.

"His energy level is unbelievable," Park said. "He wants to do it all and he's been terrific."

O'Neal spent his time taping mock stand-ups, scripting material, and conducting interviews.

He even scored the first on-camera interview with former Duke point guard Greg Paulus, who last week announced his decision to play football for the Oranges this fall.

"He's got great personality. His presence is phenomenal. He's so funny and charismatic. He's got the whole package," Paulus told The Post-Standard of Syracuse.

O'Neal also interviewed Tim Green, the former Syracuse and NFL player turned TV analyst and author. O'Neal asked Green about his latest book and then bantered with the former Atlanta Falcons player.

"I've been the type of person (and) the type of athlete, I don't like to be given anything," O'Neal said. "I like to earn."

The NBC press release store just put this one up for sale, and maybe cause the network to think twice about why it would even want an NHL OT playoff game even coming close to upsetting its ratings for a horse race pre-game show in progress:

The NBC Sports broadcast of the Preakness Stakes, in which Rachel Alexandra became the first filly in 85 years to win the race as she held off Kentucky Derby winner Mine That Bird by a length, had the most viewers in five years and the second most in 20 years according to data provided today by Nielsen Media Research.

NBC Sports employed its broad promotional effort to reach casual fans leading to the Kentucky Derby and Preakness combining to draw an average of 13.4 million viewers, the most for the two races combined in 20 years (14.5 million in 1989).

The race portion of the Preakness (5:56-6:50 p.m. ET) drew 10.9 million viewers, three million more than last year's race (7.9 million, up 38 percent) when the much-hyped Big Brown won to take the first two legs of the Triple Crown.

The national rating for Saturday's race portion was a 6.8 with a 16 share, the highest since 2004 (7.7/19) and the second highest since 1990 (7.9/23).

NBC Sports coverage of this year's Preakness reached nearly twice the number of viewers than the last Preakness broadcast by ABC in 2000 (10.9 million vs. 5.5 million, up 98 percent).

Even before Preakness winner Rachel Alexandra gets her skirt in a bunch about decisions made on her behalf about running in the June 6 Belmont, there's been some backlash from the Zenyatta camp that she, above all, is the best female horse in the country right now.

Zenyatta, who hasn't lost in nine races, goes off in Saturday's Milady Handicap at Hollywood Park. That happens to be a race that one of Jim Rome's co-owned thoroughbreds, Hot 'N Dusty, will make an appearance.

On "Jim Rome Is Burning" Monday, Rome offered up this handicapped smacktalk during his "burn" opening on Rachel Alexandra's Preakness victory:

"She didn't smoke the field like when she dropped the hammer at the Kentucky Oaks, but that's what made the win so impressive -- she had to grind it out. She showed tremendous heart in digging deep to knock Mind The Bird ... She's a freak that has tremendous heart and spirit and she proved it.

"Can't believe I'm taking smack to a horse. One that's way better than ours."

The NHL press release store just put this one up for sale, and maybe cause NBC to think twice about sending an OT NHL playoff game over to Versus so it can join a horse race pre-game show in progress:

Sunday's Western Conference Final, featuring the Chicago Blackhawks and the Detroit Red Wings, registered a 2.0 overnight metered market rating, making it the most-watched broadcast of a NHL on NBC game, excluding the NHL Winter Classic and Stanley Cup Final games, since NBC resumed its partnership with the NHL in 2005-06.

The rating marked a 33-percent increase over last season's comparable Conference Final game on NBC (Dallas Stars at Detroit, Game Five, May 17, 2008), and is the highest metered-market rating on a national, over-the-air rightsholder for a Conference Final game in six years (Game One of the Anaheim Ducks/Minnesota Wild, May 10, 2003).

Sunday's 2.0/5 rating/share also is up 18 percent from the comparable Sunday Conference Final broadcast on NBC last year (Philadelphia Flyers at Pittsburgh Penguins, Game Five, May 18, 2008) which averaged a 1.7/4.

Overnight, Sunday's NBC Blackhawks/Red Wings broadcast averaged a 16.9/38 share in Detroit, and 7.7/19 share in Chicago. Rounding out the top five markets: Pittsburgh (4.0), Buffalo (3.4), Columbus (2.2) and Denver (1.9). Top non-NHL markets were as follows: Cleveland (3.1), Norfolk (2.6), Charlotte (2.3), Birmingham (2.0), West Palm (2.0), Memphis (1.9) and Providence (1.9).

Los Angeles: a 1.1 rating, reaching 62,197 homes. Maybe because most in L.A. were watching the Lakers-Rockets Game 7 at the same time on ABC.

Tonight's Game 2 of the series (4:30 p.m.) and Friday's Game 3 (5 p.m.) are on Versus. Sunday's Game 4 is back on NBC (noon).

From CBS' press folk:

The National Football League announced today that CBS has been awarded a rights extension to broadcast the American Football Conference (AFC). The two-year extension agreement runs through the 2013-14 season and includes CBS broadcasting Super Bowl XLVII in the first year of the new agreement.

"This agreement significantly strengthens what is already a great partnership between CBS and the NFL, and continues to add to CBS Sports' reputation as the undisputed industry leader in sports television with top franchises in all of television," said Les Moonves, President and Chief Executive Officer, CBS Corporation. "I would like to thank all the great people at CBS Sports and at the NFL for making this important deal happen."

Thirteen of CBS's 14 Owned stations are in NFL markets, including New York, San Francisco/Oakland, Boston, Miami, Denver, Pittsburgh and Baltimore, which are all AFC markets.

"We are extremely pleased to extend this agreement as well as our successful partnership with the NFL, which continues to prove that NFL football is the premier property in all of sports and the number one-rated franchise in all of sports television," said Sean McManus, President, CBS News and Sports.

CBS Sports, which first began televising NFL regular-season games in 1956 and this season mark its 50th season, had broadcast rights to the National Football Conference package from 1970 through 1993. The Network began televising American Football Conference games in 1998.

The greedy bastards of the NFL, trying to push the NFL Network to as easy access as possible on the cable side, have finally arranged a deal with the greedy bastards at Comcast, who have threatened to take everyone to court who doesn't play their way, in a press release/press conference this morning that frankly, we could just as soon let go under the radar without much comment.

From the release that came at about 6:30 a.m. (right now, Roger Goodell and the Comcast big wigs are explaining on a conference call why things are so honky dory right now, so quotes to come), which comes with dual datelines -- Philadelphia and New York -- and Comcast apparently won the rights to be named first in this statement:

UPDATE: A blow-by-blow account of Goodell and Comcast explaining themselves (linked here)

The easy-on-the-eyes woman pops up on the TV screen, appearing to be at some kind of fancy dinner party, but talking pretty serious about a subject we apparently aren't up to speed on yet.

And we've been off speed for a number of years now.

"You may have seen some Yaz commercials recently that weren't clear," she admits.

OK, you've got my attention. Please, clear up some things for me about the 1967 Triple Crown winner and AL MVP who I haven't seen on a commercial in a number of years but still carry his club membership card in my wallet -- unsigned, because there are a few rules I'm not so certain I agree with (one of them: bread as a source of protein).

Memorial Day could be memorable for the Lakers, if that marks the day they sweep past Denver in the Western Conference finals and into the NBA title round.

Before they put a choke-hold on that idea, they'd better check with Vince McMahon.

WWE has booked at the Pepsi Center in Denver for an episode of "Monday Night Raw" on May 25. That's the night that the NBA have given the Nuggets to host Game 4 of their series against the Lakers.

The conflict didn't come up until someone noticed it when the schedule was finally determined following Sunday's Lakers-Rockets Western Conference semifinal series.

WWE spokesman Robert Zimmerman says the organization secured the Pepsi Center last Aug. 15 and has already sold more than 10,000 tickets for the event between $20 to $70.

"Even though the Denver Nuggets had a strong team this year and were projected to make the playoffs, obviously Nuggets and Pepsi Center owner Stan Kroenke did not have enough faith in his own team to hold the May 25th date for a potential playoff game," WWE chairman Vince McMahon said in a statement.

Easy to say now, blowhard. They're the No. 2 seed in the West. Had the Lakers lost to the Rockets, Denver would have had the home-court advantage and not had this conflict.

Say that again: Had the Lakers lost to the Rockets ... the Nuggets should have seen this coming.

The Nuggets referred comment to the NBA, and a spokesman said they're trying to figure out a solution.

The schedule on the Pepsi Center's Web site (linked here) seems to put a crimp in McMahon's plans. The WWE is listed as "TBD" while the Western Conference finals Game 4 is listed for 7 p.m. There's another concert set for Tuesday, May 26.

Wait a darn second: Last time we cared looked, Vince McMahon was dead (linked here)

No doubt saving the sport from its own demise, and making it possible for games to end before midnight on the East Coast as long as there are no pitching changes, commercials or 5.0 earthquakes, Fox and the MLB made a joint announcement this fine afternoon:

The 2009 World Series and American League Championship Series on the network will start before 8 p.m. ET on weeknights. That means the World Series will now have the earliest start time of any U.S. major sports championship -- excluding the Super Bowl, with its 6:17 p.m. ET/3:17 PT kickoff so the parties at home end at a reasonable time.

Noted: The last time a regularly scheduled World Series game on Monday through Friday started before 8 p.m. ET/ 5 p.m. PT was 38 years ago - Game 5 of the '71 World Series between Baltimore and Pittsburgh.

Why it's taken this long to return to the good ol' days of early nighttime baseball is a mystery.

A day game in the postseason? C'mon. Who are we kidding. Not even on the weekends. Makes too much dollars to keep 'em as late as possible.

To adjust to this new start -- a 40-minute adjustment from previous years -- Fox says its pregame show will start at 7:30 p.m. ET/4:30 p.m PT for weeknight games with first pitch scheduled for 7:57 p.m. ET./4:57 p.m. PD. When did a game really need a pregame show? Why not start first pitch at 7:30 p.m./4:30 p.m.?

Games on Saturday, by the way, will start no later than weekday games and could start earlier (to be determined). Games on Sunday will take place following the conclusion of the NFL on Fox as in year's past (at about 4:30 p.m. PT).

Not sure if this will also affect the NLCS on TBS, the network that's locked into that contract. It won't change the Fox coverage of the MLB All Star game this July.

Said MLB commissioner Bud Selig: "Our goal is to schedule games to allow the largest number of people to watch and this change puts our games in the window we believe will work the best for our fans. We appreciate the work that Fox has done to make this happen and I expect that fans of all ages will respond favorably to this adjustment."

Said Fox Sports president Ed Goren: "Prime time postseason games on Fox have always been scheduled for a window that maximizes the potential audience from coast to coast. The fact is that over the last few years, games have been ending a bit later than we'd like. This new schedule, made possible through the cooperation of our stations, affiliates and Major League Baseball, should help fans of all ages see weeknight games from start to finish."

East Coast fans will complain about games ending too late. West Coast fans will be slightly miffed by games starting too early. What's wrong (we know the answer but will ask it anyway) about day games, in this land of DVRs and Internet streaming, and NCAA basketball tournament games with 9:30 a.m. tipoffs and the fact the game needs to build an audience of younger viewers who are AWAKE IN THE DAYLIGHT?

From the ESPN press release machine promoting its Lakers-Nuggets Western Conference finals coverage, starting Tuesday from Staples Center:

ESPN will utilize new virtual graphics to illustrate statistics, bio information and more. The NBA Player Card is an in-studio informational graphic that virtually places the "hero" in the studio next to the anchor during a stand-up. It is the next generation of full-frame graphics and offers a dynamic, moving graphic package that shows the player in motion. The virtual environment that has been created is a dynamic staging area to showcase the player with his stats along with incorporating "real" studio display monitors and talent to give the segment a high-end, cohesive presentation.

So don't be freaked out if you see Kobe Bryant in Bristol, Conn., working on his crossover while reading his stats about past performances.

The "Star Trek" technology seems to be finally put to some utilitarian use. At last. Beam me up another Tecate Lite while you're at it.

A story on ESPN.com used 742 perfectly good words to explain in a story what maybe a half dozen would have done just fine:

"Monday Night Football": Gruden in, Kornheiser out.

You need more of an explanation, right? That's part of this media game. There must be something sinster going on here, right? We need to know who pissed off whom.

The ESPN story (linked here) -- consider the source -- says it was a very amicable transation for Jon Gruden, the former Raiders and Bucs coach currently out of work, but recently used by the NFL Network on its draft coverage, to take the seat next to Mike Tirico and Ron Jaworski from Tony Kornheiser, the Washington Post columnist (still?) who does better at arguing stuff with Mike Wilbon on "PTI" than throwing out one liners that cause him to have to muster up an apology occasionally.

Plus, he hates to fly. Who doesn't? It's that fear of losing your shoes through security. What person Kornheiser's age wants to take his shoes off in an airport on a weekly basis?

Tony of the Korn was no Dennis Miller. He never tried to be. In fact, he was better. But still ...

On my iGoogle.com homepage, the ESPN app has this Gruden-Kornheiser thing as the top story of the day. NFL.com has it No. 2, behind T.O.'s arrival in Buffalo. Somehow it beat a sourced story that Brett Favre needs shoulder surgery. This is an even bigger story for ESPN -- and Gruden -- since "MNF" has Minnesota (Favre's new prospective employers) facing Green Bay (Farve's one-time employer) at the Humphrey Airplane Hanger in Minneapolis in Week 4. And that stuff about an Eagles coach having to leave because of cancer ... sorry, not big enough.

(By the way, Suzie Kolber on ESPN's "NFL Live" looks pretty spry these days for having recently dropped a kid).

Watch "PTI" for more manufactured reaction. Maybe by then, John Madden will have come out of retirement and taken Gruden's seat. Oh, right, he hates to fly, too. But Favre may be back ...

Ever heard of Dr. Patrick Soon-Shiong? How soon you forget.

Start listening closer. He should be one of the people that you meet each day. At tooth-hurty, if you time it right. (An inside joke, that you'd understand better if you click on the video above).

The former surgeon and current pharmaceuitcals drug swapper is worth an estimates $6 billion. And he tops the list of the 50 Wealthiest Angelenos, according to a special report in the latest Los Angeles Business Journal (linked here).

We looked for our own names on this list and ... we're on the 50 Filthiest Angelenos, according to the guys who wash our car every other day.

Our city, by the way, isn't as filthy rich as it once was. We apparently are left with only 29 billionaires - the lowest in five years. Of the 50 richest on last year's list, eight lost more than $12 billion. That's the cost of doing business here, and pretty much anywhere.

Those who have a sports connection on the selective group are still living large -- there just aren't as many of 'em as you'd think.

Ed Roski Jr., of course, is still a major heavyweight developer/player at No. 13 ($1.9 billion), despite the fact he was at No. 14 a year ago with $2.54 billion. The co-owner of the Lakers, Kings and Staples Center - and builder of a new NFL stadium for whomever wants it - is also quite the sports adventurist, according to his bio on Majestic Reality's website. He's climed to Base Camp at Mt. Everest, K2 and Mt. Kilimanjaro, ridden his bike across Mongolia, Russia and Burma and made deep-water drives through New Guinea. He also went in a Russian sub down 2 ½ miles to the wreck of the Titanic.

And if no NFL team comes to L.A., he'll go down with that stadium, too.

Dodgers owners Frank and Jamie McCourt, said to be worth $1.29 billion, actually moved up from No. 33 to No. 27 with a seven-percent increase in their wallets. They thank you for purchasing those $12 beers and $9.50 margararitas at the concession stand. And to think they'll somehow save some $7 million just by doing nothing over the next 50 games.

Unfortunately they didn't sell enough season seats or overpriced condos to catch up with the superpowers of Clippers owner/slumlord Donald T. Sterling, who, despite a modest slip from No. 21 to No. 22, suffered a much bigger hit when his $2 billion from last year dwindled 28 percent to $1.45 billion this past year. Poor (fill in derogatory epitaph that he's probably used to describe one of his tennants).

The newspaper also reports his team went from being worth $550 million to currently $400 million. Maybe that's a typo. Isn't it just $400?

Others with sports in their blue blood:

== Kirk Kerkorian, who was No. 1 last year with $10.6 billion but is now at No. 3 with half as much (imagine just having $5.3 billion disappear from your portfolio), is the soon-to-be 92 year old, credited with developing most of today's Las Vegas, who was a decent enough amateur boxer to fight under the name "Rifle Right Kerkorian" and win the Pacific amateur welterweight title. In 1999, he married Wife No. 3, women's tennis pro Lisa Bonder (just 48 years younger). But it only lasted one month and got pretty messy.

== Jerry Perenchio (No. 9, with $2.4 billion) is the former sports promoter who organized the 1973 Battle of the Sexes between Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs, and then promoted the 1971 fight between Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier, mostly to boost the closed circuit TV business (and pave the way for cable PPV).

== Two grandkids of publishing tycoon William Randolph Hearst - David Whitmire Hearst Jr., and George Randolph Hearst Jr., both listed at $1.35 billion at No. 25 and 26 - are intrenched in the Hearst Corporation's recent investment into Disney's ESPN franchise.

== Don't forget Tom Werner, No. 43 (with only $620 million, a drop from his $910 million last year). He's still part owner of the Boston Red Sox, nearly 20 years after he bought the San Diego Padres and allowed that team to be torn apart.

== Movie and TV producer Jerry Bruckheimer - at No. 45 with $600 million -- has been seen on the USC football sidelines, but more importantly, has "shown interest in owning an NHL team and could become a partner in a Las Vegas franchise if the league decides to expand," says the newspaper. When the NHL expands to Vegas? Sounds like a script waiting to be written. Bruckheimer's list of sports-related production movie credits include "Glory Road" in 2006, "Remember the Titans" in 2000 and "Days of Thunder" in 1990.

== Dr. Jerry Buss? Arte Moreno? Casey Wasserman? That guy who owns the Milwaukee Brewers? They don't make it? We just ask the questions.

What does this all mean? Everyone's losing cash one way or another (despite what it appears is happening in McCourtWood) and it's just a matter of time before it trickles down on all of us. They're the opportunists. We're the ones waiting to see how their ventures pan out so we can belittle them when they fail, and torment ourselves when they succeed.

A vicious cycle, but we apparently are OK with it.

Comment here or at thomas.hoffarth@dailynews.com.

Sorry didn't have the immediate answer to yesterday's burning question: Why was the Dodgers-Marlins game from Miami delayed an hour on KCAL Channel 9 until 4 p.m.?

On Saturdays, Fox has exclusive rights to all MLB games from 12:30 p.m. to 4 p.m. (or 1 to 4:30 p.m.) for its regional telecasts (which, in L.A., was the Angels' game at Texas, which was rain delayed, and then started with John Lackey getting tossed after two tosses).

The Dodgers-Marlins started at 6 p.m. EDT/3 p.m. PDT. The original Dodger schedule said the game would be joined in progress at 4 p.m., but according to a KCAL spokesman, the station consulted with the Dodgers and decided it would be best for the viewers to air it in its entirety, but delayed an hour. But by the time the Dodgers actually lost 6-3, those who knew what had happened probably didn't want to watch the game to the end.

Will this glitch happen again? Probably not. Every other Dodgers or Angels home or road game on a Saturday through the rest of the season avoids that conflict -- or it's on Fox.

For example, the Dodgers' road games on Saturdays include one on July 11 in Milwaukee, but that's a 4 p.m. PDT start in Prime Ticket. They're in Cincinnati on Saturday, Aug. 29, but that's also a 4 p.m. PDT first pitch on KCAL. They're in Pittsburgh on Saturday, Sept. 26 for some inane reasons, but that, again, is a 4 p.m. PDT first pitch on Prime.

As for the Angels, a Saturday game in Detroit starts at 4 p.m. PDT on June 6 (FSN West). In August, they're at Minnesota on the 1st (at 4 p.m. on FSNW), at Baltimore on the 15th at 4 p.m. on FSNW and at Toronto on the 22nd (in a strange 10 a.m. start on FSNW that will be before the Fox window). In September, they're also in Kansas City on the 5th at 4 p.m. FSNW and at Texas on the 19th at 5 p.m. on KCOP.

For the record, the first-ever televised baseball game was on May 17, 1939, when Princeton defeated Columbia 2-1 at Columbia's Baker Field.

The contest was aired on W2XBS, an experimental station in New York City which would ultimately become WNBC-TV. About 400 TV sets carried the game, announced by Bill Stern.

For some more history of the event, we turn to Leonard Koppett, Columbia class of 1944, New York Times writer and in the Baseball Hall of Fame writer's wing, with a story he did on the event 10 years ago (linked here):

The Canadian Press/AP Photo/Frank Gunn
Toronto Blue Jays manager Cito Gaston, lower left, looks on as a fan (burnt-orange shirt) receives attention after being hit in the neck by a broken bat from Jays' Vernon Wells during the fourth inning of Thursday's game in Toronto.

It was the last note in an Associated Press story about Thursday's Yankees-Blue Jays game from Toronto (linked here):

A male fan seated in the front row behind the third base dugout was cut on the back of the head by Toronto slugger Vernon Wells' broken bat in the fourth. He walked away to receive medical attention and later returned to his seat.

And, survived. So all is OK, apparently.
Just as long as no one gets killed, we'll just keep playing....

And continue to chronicle it (linked here)

Oh, and did we miss this small note on May 11 about a "minor injury" at the bottom of a story about a Cubs farmhand (linked here). Jake Fox missed two games after he was hit with the broken bat on his left leg, requiring five stiches. He hit his minor-league leading 16th homer on Friday (linked here).

Here's a picture of Jake Fox, when he was up with the Cubs in 2007, breaking his bat after he flew out against St. Louis in a July 26 game:

AP photo/LM Otero
Kobe Bryant wipes his face during the final minutes of the fourth quarter against the Houston Rockets in Game 6 of their NBA Western conference playoff game on Thursday.

Honestly, we've got off to a miserably slow start for this week's list of questions . . . spelling errors . . . lack of keyboard hustle . . . a general malaise-turned-laissez-faire attitude . . . but, heck, that's probably not going to hurt us in the long run, right?

== While waiting for the air raid sirens to stop going off around town, do we consider the Kobe's sense-of-entitlement title-bound Lakers underachieving, the Yao-less "chump team" Rockets overachieving or are the faithful followers of Southern California hoops unnecessarily stressing in the middle?

== Is LeBron James uncontrollably smiling and/or David Stern flagrantly sweating over the fact we've hit the limit in this otherwise scheduled Western Conference yoga exercise that's becoming more and more a huge waste of airline mileage and puts a dream NBA Final matchup just a couple of Sasha clanked 3-pointers away from an imperfect ending on a perfect Sunday afternoon in Hollywood?

== How would this series be different if the Lakers had Andrew Bynum? Can we offer him a couple of fertility drugs, to perhaps raise his . . . scoring average? Would a scolding and double-secret probation from Dean Wormer be more effective for him at this point - "Zero-point-zero!? - than a Zen-like discussion from Coach Phil?

== So how does monkeying around with the unmanned Rockets toughen up the lackadaisical Lakers? Doesn't it simply give the Denver Nuggets a simple gameplan - punch 'em in the larynx two seconds after tipoff and run away from trouble?

== Does the fact that Governor Arnold Ziffle delivered the commencement speech at USC on Friday give school officials any inside leverage on winning the pink slip to the Coliseum before he lumbers back home to Brentwood, er, Sacramento?

== At this point in the Manny image rehabilitation process, do you consider his biggest struggle with roids having to do with being a bit too schizoid or simply just chock full 'o steroids?

== Has Brett Favre seen his shadow yet?

== Didn't you find it curious that Roger Clemens earlier this week was refuting a book about him that most didn't even know had been published?

== Wih the news that Nike has decided to cut 1,750 jobs from its global workforce - or about 5 percent - could the shoe company at least build a few hundred preschools in some of those third-world countries where the product is made to give these former employees somewhere to spend their furlough days?

== Michael Phelps is back in the pool . . . yet do you even know where which body of water he's dunked himself into this weekend in the pursuit of non-Olympic fame and endorsement rehabilitation?

== Why couldn't the NHL fix it for the Chicago Blackhawks to play all their home games against the Detroit Red Wings in the Western Conference finals back at Wrigley Field, as they did back on Jan. 1?

== Has the art of selling sports facilities naming rights finally jumped the shark considering the Dodgers and Marlins are presumably playing this weekend in something called Land Shark Stadium?

== Any way we can view a Dodger game on TV any more this season without a bunch of exceptionally height-challenged people dressed as cowboys and singing like the Lullaby League?

== We didn't miss deadline, did we?

thomas.hoffarth@dailynews.com

The Associated Press

MINNEAPOLIS -- The draft is drawing closer, the free agent and trading period looms soon after that, and the Minnesota Timberwolves are still looking for someone to run their front office.

How about Kevin Love?

"It's a possibility. I've been told I'm wise beyond my years, so maybe that'll be my next job," the one-and-done former UCLA star joked.

That would be a big responsibility for a 20-year-old, though Love held up relatively well during his rookie season. He was third in the NBA with 274 offensive rebounds -- finishing behind Dwight Howard and Pau Gasol, who each had more playing time.

For now, though, Love will settle for representing the Timberwolves Tuesday night at the draft lottery drawing in New Jersey. General manager Jim Stack nominated the thin-bearded big man to go after collecting endorsements from teammates Al Jefferson and Randy Foye.

Love is hoping his presence will bring some luck to a franchise that has been short in that department since entering the league 20 years ago.

"It'd be huge," Love said, kidding that he wished he had the appropriate incentives in his contract, should this be the Wolves' year.

Minnesota has a 7.6 percent chance of getting the first choice in the draft this year, the fifth-best odds, after finishing 24-58. The Wolves will select fifth if their pingpong ball doesn't pop up, allowing them to move into the top three. They also own a pair of non-lottery first-round picks, Nos. 18 and 28.

But while some solid young players have been assembled in Minnesota, what this team doesn't need is just another rookie. The top choice in the draft would help attract interest in a product that has lost a lot of demand in recent years in a crowded market for entertainment dollars.

Pressure's on, kid.

The Dodgers didn't take a whole lotta time to take Manny Ramirez down from its billboard campaign around down and put things less filling on the places where he once held eminent domain.

Take, for instance, that prime spot at the 405 and 105 interchange near LAX, as it was in April after he signed -- before -- and then as it stands now. Mannywood's population is now asked to consume more beer. Until at least the Fourth of July.

Likewise, the Dodgers' new marketing scheme isn't as clever as say, what KSPN 710's Mason and Ireland had in mind when they brought team marketing director Dr. Charles Steinberg on the show recently. Their idea: Make it look like a guerrela campaign, putting a red slash through Manny and then putting a face of some other player in his place.

This is the cleaner version of that, as we're starting to see off the 105 Freeway near Prairie and Imperial, featuring Russell Martin:

And then off Hawthorne Blvd. in the city of Lennox, in the LAX flight pattern, where it's a whole other language for Rafael Furcal:

Indicating, obviously, that in lieu of the mayor of Mannywood crafting the message and sticking to the talking points -- and again, he says he's sorry -- his lieutenant mayors can spread the word, in whatever language necessary.

Latest Breaking News From ESPN Media Central:

ESPN's telecast of the NBA Conference Semifinal Game 6 between the Lakers and Houston Rockets on Thursday did a 5.4 rating representing an average of 5,306,000 household impressions and 7,352,000 total viewers to become the network's most-viewed basketball game ever. The previous record audience was 4,990,000 households and 6,602,000 viewers for Miami/Detroit, Game 6 of the 2006 Eastern Conference Finals (May 31).

It's also the highest-rated and most-viewed NBA Playoff game on cable in 2009 and the network's highest-rated and most-viewed program in the calendar year (since December 29, 2008), topping last week's Game 3 from the series (Lakers/Houston, May 8 - 4.5 rating; 4,432,000 households; 5,952,000 viewers).

The game did a 13.0 rating in L.A. and 16.0 rating in Houston.

Coverage of the Lakers/Rockets series will continue with Game 7 Sunday (12:30 p.m. Staples Center, Channel 7 with Mike Breen, Mark Jackson, Jeff Van Gundy and reporter Doris Burke. ESPN/ABC also has the Western Conference finals; TNT will have the Eastern Conference finals.

The Pac-10 is grumbling doing due dilligence about getting its own TV Network, we've been told again. And again.

The latest trial balloon for the Channel Pac-10 came from the Orange County Register (linked here) talking to outgoing commish Tom Hansen.

Again, Hansen wouldn't be here to see it through. Which means it could get done.

"There are a huge number of things that have to fall into place," said Pac-10 associate commissioner Duane Lindberg said in response. They'd even have to change the conference's constitution. They'd have to wait until their Fox Sports Net contract runs out in 2012.

"There's no definite time-line," said Lindberg.

There's no money, either, to even think about it now. But more schools are losing money and think TV has the jackpot somehow figured out.

And this is news? OK, we'll bite.

While trying to figure out how many more Oregon Ducks will fall between the cracks while this proposal goes forward -- and how much USC and UCLA would carry a network such as this, to the amusement of anyone near Corvallis, Ore. -- we must as admit that in the course of the week, we also learned:

== One more take on the Kobe/Spike documentary, written last April, by Richard Sandomir of the New York Times (linked here)

== Eric Karros has big eyes when he says: "The price of gas has gone up? So has the price of forgiveness" ... Hear that Manny? (linked here)

== Why we'll take Matt Vasgersian over pretty much any other baseball broadcaster when it comes to shooting straight (linked here) and (linked here).

== ESPN has named its Michael Vick Investigative/Stalking Team starting lineup (linked here)

== Brad Pitt, as Billy Beane? Who's got DePodesta? (linked here)

== Two ESPN "SportsCenter" anchors do it in the eyes of God? (linked here)

== Does Doug Collins want to blow up his career at TNT ... again? (linked here)

== Miss Bill Walton during the NBA playoffs? So do we. So does she (linked here)

== Let's be blunt: The story of former Laker Corre Blount is pretty funny. thanks to AwfulAnnouncing.com and Keith's Sports Journal (linked here):

== The United Football League has a credible producer and director for their games on Versus this fall (linked here)

== The 2009 U.S. Pole Dancing Championships were acrobatic, leggy, according to BustedCoverage.com ... and somehow it wasn't on Spike TV (linked here)

== AND FINALLY:

== Two non-approved NBA playoff ads:

== ONE MORE FINAL HIT:

== From "Jimmy Kimmel Live" on Wednesday night, the host discussed the one-year prison sentence for former Laker Corie Blount for possession of 29 pounds of marijuana. "That's like smoking a whole Olsen twin," said Kimmel. "It led some to speculate that Corie may be planning a second career as an Olympic swimmer."
Then after showing the SportsCenter clip of anchor Chris McKendry giggling during her delivery of the story, Kimmel responded: "Then they ate a basketball. ESPN, by the way, stands for Extremely Stoned Person News in case you're wondering."

A review of the anticipated Kobe Bryant-Spike Lee documentary -- which we documented more last week with our quip from the famed producer/director explaining that the Lakers' star had plenty of creative imput into the project despite some media report trying to "poison the well" (linked here), coming off a first-look at the finished work last March (linked here) after we had the first word about it when it happened in April, 2008 (linked here) -- is the focus of today's media column (linked here).

Now, you judge it. We suspect most all Laker fans will appreciate the effort, the "inside the game" feel. Maybe we expected more. That comes with the hype machine promoting the project.

More quotes on the doc by Lee we procured recently:

== On where he got the idea for this: "The idea came from a soccer film about (Zinédine) Zidane (linked here). That's where we go the idea. We thought, this might work for basketball, too. And Kobe's a big soccer fan. We gave him the DVD. He said, 'Let's go.'"

== On whether it's too heavy in Xs and Os for the casual fan: "I'm a professor at NYU the last 12 years, and I showed it to my students. Only a few know anything about basketball. You don't have to be a basketball head to enjoy this film."

== On whether he'd do the documentary on LeBron James or someone else if Kobe hadn't cooperated: "Kobe was the first and only choice, and I was very happy when agreed to do it. ... We never got to that."

== On the most fun part of the project: "The whole thing was fun. What was most interesting is, these guys are professionals. Even with cameras in the locker before the game and halftime and after, the players didn't care. We might as well been flies on the wall. Coach Phil Jackson and the players were doing exactly what they did every game. That's straight. They were not self-aware of the camera."

As for more media notes:

==Fox (Channel 11, Saturday at 12:40 p.m.) has lucked out by having the season debut of John Lackey for the Angels when they play at Texas. Josh Lewin and Mark Grace call it (to 18 percent of the country). Most (66 percent) see New York Mets at San Francisco (Johan Santana against Randy Johnson). Sunday, TBS' national game puts Minnesota at New York Yankees (10 a.m., with Chip Caray, Ron Darling and David Wells -- 11 years to the day that he threw a perfect game against the Twins at Yankee Stadium) while ESPN has the Mets-Giants (5 p.m., with Jon Miller, Joe Morgan and Steve Phillips.)

== MLB Network has the league-produced documentary "Base Ball Discovered" on Sunday at 3 p.m., with various repeats. Narrated by Edward James Olmos and produced by MLB.com, the film goes looking for the true origins of baseball -- investigating its link to rounders and cricket and ending up in Surrey, in the southeast part of England with an interesting discovery.

== David Feherty, told to just be quiet and hopes it goes away from CBS, will be back on course in his usual reporter role when the network coverage the PGA's Tiger-less Valero Texas Open this weekend (Saturday and Sunday, Channel 2, noon to 3 p.m. both days). What would cause Feherty not to be there? More linked here and linked here. ... and even here. .. and one last one here.

== The first match under Wimbledon's new Centre Court roof will make it as a 3 1/2-hour program on ESPN Classic -- Saturday at 6:30 a.m., from the BBC feed. The exhibition, to test the All England Club's new retractable roof and ventilation system, features Andre Agassi and wife Steffi Graf, plus Tim Henman and Kim Clijsters competing in a men's singles, women's singles and mixed doubles match. Wimbledon begins on ESPN on June 22.

== Oscar De La Hoya's Golden Boy Promotions will try a monthly boxing series for Versus called "Fight Night Club" starting next month at the new L.A. Live Club Nokia. The monthly shows will, of course, promote De La Hoya's clients. First episode is set for June 11.

== HBO's next "Real Sports" (Tuesday, 10 p.m.) includes Andrea Kremer sitting down with new NFL Players Association head DeMaurice Smith, a Jon Frankel story on bull riding, a Frank Deford piece on ultra-competitive parents trying to produce athletic kids, and Bernard Goldberg revisists his story on thoroughbred race horse slaughtering, which won a Sports Emmy for Outstanding Sports Journalism.

== The Cincinnati Bengals, with QB Carson Palmer and new linebacker Rey Malaluga, provide the storylines for the new season of HBO's "Hard Knocks" training camp documentary show, scheduled to debut Wednesday, Aug. 2 and go five episodes through Sept. 9, the network announced. In previous years, HBO did its "Hard Knocks" series with the Baltimore Ravens (2001), Dallas Cowboys (2002 and '08, from Thousand Oaks) and Kansas City Chiefs (2007).

== A one-hours special of something CBS has called "The Alt Games" airs Saturday (Channel 2, 11 a.m.). Formerly called The Collegiate Nationals, it's a somewhat college action championship with 11 events that include beach volleyball, snowboarding, wakeboarding ... and competitive eating. Jonny Moseley hosts it from Copper Mountain, Colo., as well as Riverside (where the volleyball took place a couple of weeks ago) and San Diego (water sports, eating). More than 500 kids from 45 colleges participated. More info: www.thealtgames.com.

== AND THE CLOSING ARGUMENT:

== Quote of the week, from Dan Patrick, on his syndicated sports-talk show:
"(Philadelphia Phillies star) Ryan Howard let me down. He promised he'd hit a home run for me last night for my dying career."

The Phillies were playing the Dodgers the night before.

Heard this one on this afternoon's DodgerTalk on KABC-AM (710), following the Dodgers' 5-3, 10-inning victory at Philadelphia:

A caller voiced some concern over the fact that play-by-play man Eric Collins, hired this year to do all the road games for Prime Ticket and KCAL Channel 9 in Vin Scully's absence, seemed to miss the point about a possible cycle that Matt Kemp could have accomplished.

Kemp's double in the 10th drove in Russell Martin with the second run of the inning and the fifth run for the team -- seemingly a decent cushion headed into the bottom of the 10th (although, Dodger closer Jonathan Broxton blew a two-run lead with two outs and no one on in the bottom of the 9th).

Added to a single and a triple earlier, Kemp's double meant ...

"You know, if this game continues, Matt Kemp has a chance to hit for the cycle," said Collins.

Pause.

"Unless you're talking about the Dodgers batting around in this inning," said Steve Lyons, "most Dodger fans would just as soon not have Matt Kemp come to the plate again."

"History is history," Collins added.

"I think Dodger fans would like to get this one over as quickly as possible," said Lyons.

The caller to DodgerTalk wondered if Collins was joking, or if he was missing the point. We're taking this a bit out of context, but watching the replay of that moment again, we're inclined to believe the former rather than the later.

You have an opinion?

Sports Illustrated reviewed the new Spike Lee documentary "Kobe Doin' It" in this week's issue, comparing it to other films that debuted at the Tribeca/ESPN Sports Film Festival. It gave the flick 2 1/2 (out of five) stars:"Many documentaries benefit from an unscripted climax or some other stroke of filmmaker luck. (This one) is a reminder that sometimes the cameras roll .. and not much happens."

Otherwise, check out these reviews by:

== Patrick Goldstein of the L.A. Times (linked here)
== David Hinckley of the New York Daily News (linked here)
== Bob Wolfley of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel (linked here)
== The Sunday Times of the UK (linked here)
== Other sources (linked here)
== A Time magazine Q-and-A with Spike (linked here)

Our review? Coming Friday. We're still doin' work on it.

This just in on OnionSports.com (linked here)

Manny Ramirez: 'Am I In Trouble?'

LOS ANGELES -- According to his teammates, his coaches, and the media, Manny Ramirez has appeared visibly confused and anxious since receiving a 50-game suspension for violating Major League Baseball's drug policy, and has repeatedly asked those around him if he is in some sort of really big trouble right now.

"Uh-oh, things are not going so good for me I don't think," Ramirez was overheard saying to Dodgers pitcher Chad Billingsley. "Chad? Did I do something bad? If I did bad, I did not mean to do it."

"I tried to put on my uniform today and the day before that and Joe [Torre] told me not to do that," the left fielder added. "Chad.... Chad? Chad. Hey, Chad, do you think Joe is mad at me? I am not mad at him. Is Joe mad at me?"

Sources close to the Dodgers organization confirmed that ever since the suspension was handed down last Thursday, the visibly worried Ramirez has spent the majority of his time sitting in the clubhouse biting his fingernails and saying to himself, "Something is no good right now. Something is definitely no good."

In addition, a sulky Ramirez reportedly spent Tuesday afternoon pacing back and forth in front of Joe Torre's office in an apparent attempt to get the manager to invite him inside. When Torre exited his office without acknowledging the 2004 World Series MVP, Ramirez muttered, "I must be in big, big trouble, man. Big trouble."

"I think things are really bad because the people are being different toward me right now," Ramirez told reporters gathered around his locker Wednesday. "The people with the microphones who stand in front of the cameras and write the things in their books? They are talking about me differently than they usually talk about me. Usually they smile and laugh when they talk about me. But not now."

"You kind of look like them," Ramirez added.

Ramirez claimed he began feeling like he was in trouble during Tuesday's game against the Philadelphia Phillies, when he found he was not in the starting lineup, was not asked to pinch-hit, and was left off the team plane when it departed Los Angeles for Philadelphia.

"Being suspended is one thing, man, but not being able to play baseball is really, really bad," Ramirez said. "I am going to miss baseball very much. I would like to tell everybody that I really love baseball, and that I love baseball, and that I am going to miss hitting the baseball forever and ever. I would like to end my career as a Yankee."

Dodgers teammate Rafael Furcal told reporters that although several people have attempted to explain the situation to Ramirez, the 12-time all-star either avoids eye contact entirely, smiles for no discernable reason, or nods his head with a furrowed brow, though many believe this is simply Ramirez's way of pretending to understand what is being said to him.

Sources close to Ramirez have reported that when the embattled star is told that his urine sample contained traces of a women's fertility drug, he typically giggles, extends his arms, and points his index fingers at whoever is trying to explain the predicament.

"If something is really messed up, I didn't do it, okay? It wasn't me. It was probably Brad," said Ramirez, attempting to deflect blame onto Dodgers catcher Brad Ausmus. "He's no good. I do not like him. He should be in trouble, not me."

On Wednesday, Ramirez said that if he is in as big of trouble as he thinks he is, he hopes to receive his punishment soon so the situation can be over and done with.

"I am sorry for doing what I did, and for all the people who are mad, and for my parents, and my family, and for the fans, and the people I love, and everyone," Ramirez told reporters. "Please just let me start hitting the ball again, and doing all the things that let me do that so good--like looking at the videotape, practicing in the batting cage, and taking anabolic steroids."

Associated Press File Photo
Frankie Frisch, known as the Fordham Flash, shows his way of stopping a difficult grounder ball. Frisch, is by far the most easily recognizable name from Fordham's past. A star in four sports at school, he was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1947.

By Dennis Waszak Jr.
The Associated Press

Danny Leach and his Fordham University baseball teammates congratulated each other with hearty high fives after a recent victory, the latest addition to an impressive tally that began 150 years ago.

"There's extra incentive every time we go out there," said Leach, a senior outfielder. "We don't want to disappoint the guys that came before us."

And there are plenty.

Fordham has played baseball every year since 1859, except when the 1944 season was suspended because of World War II. The school holds the NCAA record for victories with 4,019, entering its series against Temple starting today. No other Division I program is even close.

"I think it's pretty amazing, but this school never ceases to amaze me," said Pete Harnisch, a former All-Star pitcher who played at Fordham from 1985-87. "We're the oldest everything, pretty much, because we've been around so long. No one's ever really going to catch up to us, and that's pretty cool."

The Rams are wearing "150 Years" patches on their left sleeves, constant reminders of the program's rich history. There are several generations worth of wins behind those black and white badges of honor, along with an impressive roster that includes names such as Harnisch, Frankie Frisch, Ed Walsh, Jack Coffey ... and Vin Scully.

"I'm happy for them and for all the guys who have enjoyed playing baseball there," said Scully, who played two seasons as a backup outfielder before embarking on a Hall of Fame career as a broadcaster for the Dodgers. "I mean, it's a marvelous thing to be on a university team, just because of the camaraderie and the challenge, the competition."

It all got started in the late 1850s, when the Fordham Rose Hill Baseball Club was founded at the school, which was then called St. John's College. The team beat St. Francis Xavier College 33-11 in college baseball's first nine-per-side game on Nov. 3, 1859.

"Longevity has something to do with the records we have, sure, but Fordham has more wins than Southern California, more than Texas, more than any other school in history," said Nick Restaino, a 1993 Fordham graduate who's in his fifth season as the Rams' coach. "People are proud of that, they really are. That's one thing I tell the guys: Always be proud to be a Fordham Ram."

Left: The Dodgers' Casey Blake reacts after striking out against San Francisco Giants' Brian Wilson in the ninth inning at San Francisco on April 27.

By Tim Dalhberg
The Associated Press

Signs, signs, everywhere the signs.

Back in the day it was fairly simple to figure them out in baseball. One finger for a fastball, two for a curve, maybe a third for whatever extra pitch the guy on the mound at the time might have.

Deciphering what the third base coach was doing was a little more difficult, but that was all part of the fun. At least we knew what he was trying to accomplish.

Not anymore. Now there new signs with deeper meanings, as Casey Blake found out the other day at Dodger Stadium.

Blake had the misfortune of being caught on camera making a gesture in the dugout after hitting a home run off San Francisco closer Brian Wilson to tie Sunday's game in the 12th inning. He appeared to be mocking Wilson by making the crossed-arm, finger-pointing gesture Wilson uses after each successful save.

He apparently hurt Wilson's feelings, so much so that Wilson's teammates had to console him in the locker room after the game. Turns out the gesture was more than just a way for Wilson to celebrate. It was his way of expressing his faith and remembering his late father.

Blake said later that had he known that, he wouldn't have mocked Wilson. But, really, how many signs are players supposed to keep track of?

It's been the top story on ESPN.com (linked here) pretty much all day ... we'll go with the AP account of how the "Mike & Mike" ESPN radio show broke big news on a day when the New York Daily News also broke big news ... big big big...

By Rachel Cohen
Associated Press

Roger Clemens tried the silent treatment for more than a year and saw where that got him.

With many fans believing allegations that the seven-time Cy Young Award winner used performance-enhancing drugs, he's now attempting a different strategy. Clemens hired a firm that guides high-profile figures through public relations crises, and Tuesday he broke his silence with a radio appearance.

Clemens again denied that former personal trainer Brian McNamee injected him with performance-enhancing drugs in a phone interview on ESPN's "Mike & Mike in the Morning."

"He's never injected me with HGH or steroids," Clemens said of McNamee's assertions to baseball investigator George Mitchell.

About three weeks ago, Clemens met in Houston with representatives from Washington-based Levick Strategic Communications. Levick senior vice president Gene Grabowski said Clemens was referred by his lawyers and agents.

"Because of the litigation, he felt obligated on advice of counsel not to speak," Grabowski said in a telephone interview with The Associated Press. "What he learned in that year was that by not speaking no one was going to tell his story."

Recalled Clemens, "They came in and said, 'You need to get your story out about all this garbage that is being said.'"

Clemens said he chose to speak out Tuesday because it was the release date of a book about his alleged drug use.

"It's important for me to do that," he said. "I've seen excerpts of the book and they're completely false. ... You know, guys, it's piling on. It's hurtful at times. But I'm moving on."

Clemens appeared on CBS' "60 Minutes" in January 2008, then held a news conference the next day. But he had stayed quiet since testifying before Congress the following month.

While "American Icon: The Fall of Roger Clemens and the Rise of Steroids in America's Pastime" was officially released Tuesday, its revelations were not new to the public. The book, by four New York Daily News reporters, recaps previous reports in the newspaper. It had been available to reviewers and had excerpts published before Tuesday.

CAMDEN, N.J. (AP) -- Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack ... except for fans sitting in suite 319.

The minor league Camden Riversharks have designated a peanut-free section at Campbell's Field to accommodate fans with food allergies.

The special section went into effect Tuesday night when the Riversharks hosted Somerset in the independent Atlantic League.

No peanuts or foods containing peanut products or oils will be offered in that suite, which holds about 25 people. Tickets in that section don't cost any extra.

The team says it acted in response to requests it has received from fans with peanut allergies, which can cause serious health issues.

Mojoe Retro blog on TV Week.com (linked here) explains how NBC plans to air a special on Tuesday, May 26 (8 p.m.) called "Best Catch Phrases" in TV history at the Paley Center for Media.

The blog points out that a similar attempt to do this by TVLand produced a Top 100 of TV's "quotes and catch phrases" that, for some reason, included Al Michaels' "Do you believe in miracles!" from the 1980 U.S.-USSR Olympic hockey game. It's no "Kiss My Grits," but the rough translation from English to Russian is probably how that Michaels' phrase is still remembered in Moscow.

No where on that list included any of the ESPN "SportsCenter" honeys. Thankfully. And perhaps they won't rear their ugly verbage on this special, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Before it disappears in the archive abyss, get a chance to read Scott Wolf's story (linked here) about the backlash that L.A.-based radio soccer talk host Steven Cohen of "World Soccer Daily" has received for comments that seem to be taken out of context about the 20th anniversary of the Hillsborough disaster, the worst tragedy in English soccer history.

Here's a link to a 2005 story we did on Cohen and Nick Gerber during a Liverpool-Chelsea match (linked here). Cohen's wife, Jackie, is the daughter of former Granada Hills High football coach Jack Neumeier, who coached John Elway in the late '70s.

``I feel like my mom did in a lot of ways, but it's just a different kind of football,'' Jackie Cohen says of her husband's passion. ``A lot of the obsession is the same. I didn't know Steven was this fanatical about it until he started doing the radio and TV full-time.''

Here's another link to a 2003 story we did when Cohen helped arrange for two of England's most cherished sporting relics, the FA Cup and the Premier League Trophy, to be put on display at the Studio City pub Fox and Hounds (linked here), which attracted former Monty Python member Eric Idle for a look-see from his nearby Encino home.

That's our little Manny Ramirez, just a little dour, as he'll appear on the cover of Sports Illustrated that hits newsstands Wednesday. Tom Verducci's report details how Manny and agent Scott Boras knew about the violation and pending 50-day suspension since mid-April but didn't inform the team. It stemmed from a urine sample he gave shortly after reporting to spring training.

Nothing really new there -- ESPN.com has been reporting it as well -- but the fact ManRam rammed his way onto the SI cover is a feat into itself.

Verducci pinpoints the moment that the Dodgers were informed of Manny's suspension -- two hours after he had asked out of the lineup and left Dodger Stadium with no explanation during the seventh inning of last Wednesday's game against the Nationals, right before the fans and teammates were about to celebrate its major-league record 13th straight home victory:

"Team owner Frank McCourt was notified by Major League Baseball executive vice president Rob Manfred that Ramirez had violated the joint drug agreement between MLB and the players' association. For three weeks, in fact, Ramirez had been playing under the threat of suspension. A little past midnight McCourt broke the news to [manager Joe] Torre and [G.M. Ned] Colletti on a conference call: their leftfielder would be suspended for 50 games for using a banned performance-enhancing drug. The news went public less than 12 hours later with a stupefying, sad sameness to it: yet another baseball great revealed as too good to be true. Apparently Mannywood was as much a myth as its namesake film industry."

== Verducci also writes: "In the days following the suspension, Ramirez spoke with Torre, Colletti, McCourt and many of his teammates and Dodgers support personnel, some of them in person. Several described Ramirez as 'very uncomfortable' and 'embarrassed' that such a sensitive personal matter--seeking help for a testosterone production problem--had been leaked to the media. A little red-faced themselves, the Dodgers shut down Mannywood and offered refunds to anybody who had bought tickets in the section. They replaced Ramirez in leftfield with Juan Pierre, a singles hitter who has fewer home runs in his 1,313-game career (13) than Ramirez has in 80 games with the Dodgers (23). They also lost two straight games at Dodger Stadium after beginning the year with an MLB-record 13-0 start at home."

It probably helps that Verducci and Torre have this relationship based on their recent book project together last off season.

SI also has a "special report" on supplements by David Epstein and George Dohrmann entitled "What You Don't Know Might Kill You."

Not to be alarmists or anything.

The focus of this story is Rene Gonzalez (not the former MLB player who played for the Angels) who, according to the SI release, has no background in chemistry or nutritional science, yet he owns a nutritional supplement store, Just Add Muscle, and dreams of one day owning his own manufacturing company.

Gonzalez seems completely unqualified to offer advice on supplementation, let alone design and manufacture his own line of products. However, his dream is not nearly as fanciful as it would appear. In a Sports Illustrated special report, Epstein and Dohrmann reveal how would-be experts such as Gonzalez, in addition to a litany of untested (and potentially deadly) products, feed a multibillion dollar obsession with better performance across all levels of sports.

Epstein and Dohrmann write: "The sports-supplement world has many power brokers whose origins are as improbable as Gonzalez's. They have risen along with an industry that in three decades has grown from a niche business serving iron-heaving behemoths to a broad-based juggernaut with nearly $20 billion in U.S. sales in 2007, according to the Nutrition Business Journal. As more and more players are revealed to have taken performance-enhancing drugs--Dodgers slugger Manny Ramirez being only the latest example--potent products line the shelves of Wal-Mart, Rite-Aid and 7-Eleven, more than 5,400 GNC stores and Vitamin Shoppes, and independent stores like Just Add Muscle."

One example of what happens when supplement makers ignored testing protocol: "Almost every sports-supplement store sells products that contain the steroid prohormone DHEA, which is legal but banned by the NCAA, the NFL, the NBA and WADA. DHEA is marketed for everything from muscle growth and fat loss to antiaging. Levels of DHEA in the body do decline with age, but in scientific studies on thousands of senior citizens, supplemental DHEA failed to improve muscle mass or brain function. Studies have, however, documented side effects, including facial hair growth in women and breast enlargement and elevated blood pressure in men, in addition to a number of dangerous interactions for those also taking prescription drugs."

Sounds like nothing that a little hGC can't fix, eh?

Sorry, on this one, it's tough. But we'll try.

CBS golf analyst David Feherty, a native of Northern Ireland and current resident of Dallas, used his freedom of speech this month. It got him named "Worst Person in the World" during Friday's MSNBC "Countdown."

"There is free speech and then there is abuse of free speech and when you start predicting the hypothetical murder by the U.S. military of two democratically elected officials of this country, it's not exactly rocket science to tell which this is," said host Keith Olbermann. "Even Feherty should be able to figure it out."

Feherty has. With our without bikini wax or body bags that have come before him.

Sunday, Feherty apologized to U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and U.S. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) for a joke he made in a Dallas magazine. He probably didn't have to. But he probably did have to at the same time.

Feherty was one of five Dallas residents asked to write for "D Magazine" (full column linked here) on former President George W. Bush moving to Dallas. Near the end of his piece, Feherty wrote:

"From my own experience visiting the troops in the Middle East, I can tell you this though. Despite how the conflict has been portrayed by our glorious media, if you gave any U.S. soldier a gun with two bullets in it, and he found himself in an elevator with Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and Osama bin Laden, there's a good chance that Nancy Pelosi would get shot twice, and Harry Reid and bin Laden would be strangled to death."

This is from someone who has made several trips to Iraq to visit with U.S. troops. He has created a foundation to help wounded U.S. soldiers. Yet, if D Magazine felt it so caustic, why did it print the column? Because it would generate dialogue? We hope so.

This wasn't like something that came out of Feherty's mouth, on the air, and he couldn't recapture. This was a calculated, thought-out, somewhat brilliant observation. Whether your politics agrees with it, the analogy was obvious. And he can make those kind of remarks in this country. That's what he's paid to do.

But even he had to be responsible for what he said. And he's taken ownership.

This, after the Web-based non-profit Media Matters for America (www.mediamatters.org) demanded an apology after Feherty's column was read during Friday's broadcast of "The Rush Limbaugh Show" by guest host Mark Davis.

In his apology statement, Feherty said: "This passage was a metaphor meant to describe how American troops felt about our 43rd president. In retrospect, it was inappropriate and unacceptable, and has clearly insulted Speaker Pelosi and Senator Reid, and for that, I apologize. As for our troops, they know I will continue to do as much as I can for them both at home and abroad."

CBS Sports added in a statement: It was "an unacceptable attempt at humor and is not in any way condoned, endorsed or approved" by the network. The PGA Tour also criticized him for an attempt at humor that "went over the line."

Feherty will still probably be on CBS' coverage of the PGA Tour when the Valero Texas Open is played in San Antonio this coming weekend. At least, we hope so.

The sport of golf needs the voice of Feherty. And Johnny Miller. As much as the NBA needs a Charles Barkley -- someone who gets away with far too much, but still leaves a void when it's silenced.

We'll have Feherty's back. On every front here.

Just as we did last week (linked here), which bears repeating:

Again, Tiger Woods said of that exchange, a couple of days later, and before The Players Championship: "Well, it's typical. David kind of -- he kind of lost his train of thought (laughter). He kind of goes off in tangents, and that's certainly one of the tangents he went off on. I know David has been a good friend of mine over the years, and I know what he was trying to say, but it didn't come across that way. But I thought it was actually pretty funny. It was good."

That's the charm of Feherty. And the uniqueness that can't be squashed.

It comes from the ability in this country, as well, to act first and apologize later. He has. So let's move on. Even when the news of the tragic story comes out today of the five U.S. soldiers who were shot to death by a fellow soldier who opened fire on them at a base in Baghdad.

We'll keep this one simple.

Go to this link (linked here) and read what Earl Ofari Hutchinson has written about an NAACP award that Clippers owner Donald Sterling (sorry, left out the "T" middle initial, which is really his given last name that he doesn't use any more) is slated to receive.

And then to some of the reaction on Clipsnation.com (linked here) when it came out last week that this award was actually being presented for his history of distributing game tickets to inner-city kids: "i wonder how many tickets he would give away if anyone were actually buying them."

Not to question his motives, but ...

If only to give her more practice and someday be considered a candidate to Dodger play-by-play, Jeanne Zelasko has been given the job of doing the call of games -- with former Dodger Mark Sweeney as the analyst -- on a webcast at the team's home site.

As part of its Dodgers' Women's Initatives Network (WIN) program, Zelasko and Sweeney will do every Wednesday home game for the rest of the season with the audio heard on www.dodgers.com/win. Fans will also be able to ask questions of Zelasko and Sweeney in the booth by emailing WINBroadcast@ladodgers.com.

The objective of WIN is to "bring women closer to the game and to bring the game closer to their lifestyles," says Dodgers CEO Jamie McCourt.

"We are thrilled to welcome Jeanne to the Dodger family," said McCourt. "Her track record and knowledge of the game speaks for itself, and as a mother, she'll be able to bring a unique perspective to our WIN broadcasts and help spread her love of baseball to fans around the world."

Zelasko, who for seven years hosted Fox's Saturday Baseball Game of the Week program, was considered with nearly 100 candidates for the 40-game TV package of road games the Dodgers had open up this season, eventually given to Eric Collins.

A recent thyroidcancer survivor, Zelasko said she wants to spend more time raising money and awareness for cancer-related causes and will also serve as a spokesperson for ThinkCure!, the Dodgers' official charity. ThinkCure! was created in 2007 by the Dodgers, the McCourt Family, City of Hope, and Childrens Hospital Los Angeles as an innovative effort that accelerates collaborative research to cure cancer.

Zelasko and Sweeney are also going to host a new Jr.Dodger show that airs on Prime Ticket starting Sunday at 12:30 p.m. before the Dodgers-Giants' telecast at 1 p.m.

For the Dodgers, wasn't everything just too perfect?

For Manny Ramirez, wasn't everything just too quiet?

For the fans of L.A. sports, who could have gone to Dodger Stadium on a night last week to watch the team set a major-league record with a 13th consecutive home victory (and receive three free miniburgers because the Dodgers won by more than three runs) while watching TV monitors in the concession lines of the Lakers' Game 2 win over Houston (where fans at Staples Center won a free taco because the Rockets failed to score 100 points), wasn't everyone just too fat n' happy?

== There's no moral's clause language in Manny's contract that would be stimulated by the taking of a female fertility drug? Because, after all, this is L.A.?

== How disconcerting is it to admit that Ramirez's latest brush with banned substances validates Jose Canseco -- he of boxing matches with Danny Partridge and about to embark on an MMA battle in Japan against a 7-foot-2 guy -- as the steroid go-to guy when it comes to crystal balling the next victim?

== Have you returned your tickets for the Dodgers' June 22 home game against Cincinnati -- you know, the Manny bobblehead giveaway night? With his bobblehead night scheduled for May 20, does Casey Blake have anything he wants to let us know before it's too late?

== Human Chorionic Gonatropin? Isn't that the secret ingredient in keeping my 12-inch Dodger Dog from going soggy? Or is the stuff in those bags of nuts that Roger Owens keeps throwing around the park?

== Realizing by now that they hate to drag things out, what's to stop Manny and Scott Boras from right now informing Ballpark Frank that they're going to exercise their player option and re-up for next year?

== Is there any reaction yet on Man-Ram from our state governor? Or has he been busy flexing at the gym?

== So now that McCourt has suddenly saved some $7.7 mil from the current payroll, would it not be inticing (as a veteran San Diego columnist has pointed out) to make a trade right now to pick up up Padres ace pitcher Jake Peavy, who, by the end of May, would have less than $7.7 million remaining on his contract for the rest of the season? And then have Peavy pitch for the Dodgers against the Padres on July 3 -- when Ramirez is scheduled to return?

== And we're good with assuming Albert Pujols is all spic-n-span? And Ken Griffey Jr.? And Jim Thome? Or, really,does it matter at this point? How do we assume we're in the post-steroid era of baseball? Doesn't it seem, if you're trying to document all this, that we remain in that middle-beginning-gray area?

== Where have you gone, Dom DiMaggio?

== What's to stop Evan Longoria from driving in 220 runs this season?

== What's so wrong with Brett Favre changing him mind? Again? And again? And again? If his shoulder is sound, don't you want to see how many picks he can throw inside the Metrodome in a purple No. 4 jersey? Surely, he can threaten Fran Tarkenton's franchise record in just 16 games, right?

== A Yanni concert set for this Tuesday, after a WWE event last Tuesday and a Dane Cook yuckfest on Thursday in Pittsburgh, has forced the Penguins-Capitals series to play on back-to-back nights, with tonight's Game 5 (in Washington) coming less than 24 hours after Game 4 (in Pittsburgh)? And you wonder why the NHL is considered a minor league?

== Rafael Nadal, Tiger Woods and Manny Pacquiao made Time Magazine's list of the 100 Most Influential People in the World ... but Manny didn't?

Our brain hurts. Our heart hurts. Our groin hurts.

Maybe we should take more of that ... no, not that ... there, that stuff that makes our testosterone levels a little more elevated. Gives is man-boobs. Or, in this case, Man-Ram-boobs.

Just a boost for the day. That, and a little more 5 Hour Energy Drink.

What's in that stuff, anyway? I have a drug test at my office soon and I wonder if I should be worrying about what kind of banned substances are in this.

Naw.

More of what we gleaned this week, trying to learn more about how the human ovaries actually work with excess chemical stimulation:

== Maybe, some day, they'll be writing stories like this about Manny Ramirez (or, at least fake stories like this) (linked here).

== Speaking of Man-Ram boobs, D'Marco Farr apparently still is employed, by the Rams (linked here)

== Someone did write this for today's Sporting News about Manny worth reading (linked here).

== Maybe, some day, we won't have to read stories about how this sportswriter was told about his loss of income -- while he was in the press box covering a game (linked here).

== When the headmasters of Major League Baseball, the NFL, the NBA and the NHL decide to get together, at the behest of the Wall Street Journal, looking like something out Disneyland's Great Hall of Presidents, there must be news to be made.

Or, there's a lot of discussion that sounds like news, but really isn't newsworthy, but it was a good idea to let people know that the WSJ now has a sports section and wants to advertise the fact that people actually pay for it, along with their business section, each weekday.

From Wednesday's pannel discussion comes this 7-minute clip when the questions went toward how the media may have turned a blind eye to the MLB or NFL steroid issue ... was the media's relationship too cozy with the players ... what do newspapers have to do to stay relevant these days:

Bettman: We can all give you highlights and game stories in a short soundbites rather than wait for your newspaper every night. The important thing for newsaperps is have to have content that you can't get anywhere else. If they just do wire stories of the games there's no future. We can all do that as well and faster than they can.

Stern: Where do people consume their news? By age and demographic, can see it's cable or internet, news are being consumed by consumers and we have to adapt. And newspapers have to adapt or not adapt.

Thanks for that newsflash, suits.

Here's where to find more clips from that meeting (linked here)

== We have a future as a play-by-play man, according to those who do it for a living ... that is, if we took lots of female fertility drugs and didn't listen to anyone's opinion of us (linked here)

== From how we handicapped the 15th annual Jim Rome "Smack Off" (linked here), how another website took actual bets (linked here), we come to the final results .... who was it again?

== Does John Ireland (Channel 9, KSPN), right, look too much like Jimmy Neutron, as someone twittered Steve Mason this week? Or is that old news?

== Fox Sports Net is left eating sand after the AVP, minus CEO Leonard Armato, moved its court to Versus, probably because it was too much of a cost for the sport to keep buying up time on the other cable channel (linked here).

== More on Joe Buck's plans to host "Joe Buck Live" for HBO in the middle of baseball season (the target launch: June 15, 6 p.m.) (linked here) Episode One is supposed to examine sports and celebrity, "delving into the 24-hour news cycle, bloggers, gossip columnists, sports talk radio, commercial endorsements, and today's multimillionaire superstar athletes," according to a network release.

== We love us an historic Vin Scully triple play call, how do we do? (linked here) If only we could have heard it on our new transistor radio (linked here)

== We love us a good dressing down by Jason Whitlock (linked here) and a good book review by Newsday's Neil Best (linked here).

== We, even more, appreciate Whitlock's take on the future of sportswriting, and smacking ESPN around a little more (linked here).

== Spike Lee sets us straight on Kobe's ability to be creativey (linked here)

== We'll go with David Feherty's assessment after last week's performance at the PGA Quail Hollow event: Tiger Woods is a loser:

Said Wood of that exchange, a couple of days later, and before The Players Championship: "Well, it's typical. David kind of -- he kind of lost his train of thought (laughter). He kind of goes off in tangents, and that's certainly one of the tangents he went off on. I know David has been a good friend of mine over the years, and I know what he was trying to say, but it didn't come across that way. But I thought it was actually pretty funny. It was good."

== Do some seem too focused on Cheryl Miller's hair? (linked here)

== One more media quote about this Ramirez thing that we couldn't get in, from ESPN's Peter Gammons, when asked on Thursday's "Outside The Lines" on how Boston was reacting to this:

"He shot his way out of town. There isn't a lot of affection towards him. Most (in Boston) like me don't want harm to come to Manny. But at the same time, if he did do this, tough luck. I think there's a little bit of laughter, not that I've heard it, up and down the street.
We know they (the Dodgers) have devoted their entire marketing campaing around Mannyland and all that stuff, well, and the arrogance of the Dodgers - 'we know how to deal with people' - well, let's see where that arrogance leads now, see how much they get for $100 Mannyland seats and T-shirts now."

AND FINALLY:

== Is this how Bert Blyleven plans to get into the Hall of Fame? (linked here)

The Jim Rome "Smack Off" top 10 rundown:

10. Jay Mohr
9. Terrance from Sierra Madre
8. Rachel in Houston
7. Josh in Grand Rapids (first timer)
6. Trapper in Dana Point
5. Iafrate (defending two-time champion)
4. Greg in Vegas
3. Vic in NoCal
2. Mike in Indy (first timer)
1. Brad in Corona (first timer)

On our pre-Smack odds:
=Brad in Corona: 10-1
=Mike in Indy: Off the board (falling under the 150-1 "field" category)
=Vic in NoCal: 32 gazillion-1
=Greg in Vegas: 5-1
=Iafrate: 3-1
=Trapper in Dana Point: 19-1
=Josh in Grand Rapids: Off the board (150-1)
=Rachel in Houston: 69/2
=Terrence in Sierra Madre: 5/2
=Jay Mohr: 351/1 (actually, after he made us laugh the most of all of 'em...)

Biggest disappointment: Chad in Portland wasn't able to finish his Manny Ramirez poem put to the lyrics of "Casey At The Bat"

We could possibly come up with 7.7 million ways for Manny Ramirez to spend his costly time away from baseball more wisely. Instead, it's more prudent to offer 50 suggestions for how he can play out the rest of his 50-game suspension:

50. Take a good, long look at yourself in the mirror. Yes, you're one fertility drug away from being mistaken for a younger Maya Angelou.

49. Find an OBGYN in Miami who can verify a recent office visit, and then ask for a new script for some postpartum chewable vitamins.

48. Trust your impulse: Take a few close friends to a revival of "Vagina Monologues."

47. Buy a labradoodle. Name it "Bo Jackson."

46. A haircut. Just a little off the back. Maybe, a shape it on the sides like Jennifer Aniston, so it frames your face better.

45. Offer mom some "special stuff you found that you don't need any more" as a Mother's Day gift. Prepare for a new brother, sister or "nephew" in 9 ½ months.

44. Send "Thank You" note to A-Rod. Then track down a cousin in the Dominican Republic willing to be thrown under the donkey cart.

43. Avoid phone calls from Selena Roberts. She's just a stalker.

42. Arrange a sit-down, televised interview with Peter Gammons. On tape. Not live. Find a snappy sweater vest to wear. Skip out if Gammons insists it takes place in Boston.

41. Offer Susan Boyle some make-over tips.

40. Practice lies to Congress. Hire Sammy Sosa's translator if necessary (even though you grew up in New York).

39. Fire Scott Boras.

38. Hire Scott Boras back. Only if he can arrange a new 10-year, $252 million deal with the Dodgers. Or Giants. Or Indians. Or Mets. Or Yankees. Or Bronx Little League.

37. Commiserate with Derrick Fisher while taking in a Ducks playoff game.

36. Hook up with Mark McGwire for some super-strength golf ball swatting lessons.

35. Text Barry Bonds for advice on how to convince the Giants that you can still play for them, if they're interested.

34. Volunteer for President Obama's new "Just Say Nada" estrogen stimulus program.

33. Another haircut. Just to clean up the sides. Throw in a pedicure as a Manny-cure? Why, sure.

32. Offer to fight Manny Pacquiao, to see who's the best pound-for-pound Manny in the world.

31. Write a new forward for the paperback version of: "Being Manny: Inside the Life of Baseball's Most Enigmatic Slugger." Be honest. Credit Jose Canseco as your savior (and ask him how the rest of this will all play out).

30. After being coy, agree to an appearance on "The View," if only to compare dread-care with Whoopi Goldberg.

29. Browse through eBay.com for good deals on used Man-Ram rookie baseball cards. Before the prices drop below 10 cents.

28. Three words: "Dancing Witha Stars."

27. Push a Dodger executive down. Preferably one who's older. Just for old times.

26. Catch up on TiVo'd "Pretty Wicked" Oxygen Channel reality show episodes.

25. Snag a handful of ballots and begin an underground campaign to vote yourself into all three NL outfield positions for the July 14 All-Star game.

24. Update Facebook.com profile to say "Just Chillin'."

23. Find a hole in the Dodger Stadium left-field wall, climb in and hide out for a few hours.

22. Another haircut. And could you wax the legs and back, too?

21. Host "Saturday Night Live." Do T-Pain spoof.

20. Testicle implants? Maybe now's the time. Google recommendations for best Beverly Hills surgeon available on short notice.

19. Volunteer to compete in new "Joes Vs. Man-Ram" TV series. Could also be a "Battle of the Sexes" spinoff.

18. Study Juan Pierre's game, on how he throws the ball to the proper base after accepting a base hit in left field. Then repeat. But then throw harder.

17. Join Bruce Springsteen and E-Street Band Tour. Sub for Clarence Clemens on the tambourine during "Glory Days."

16. Inquire about becoming test case for swine flu vaccinations given to women in their first trimester.

15. Consider offer for "ShamWow" endorsement, especially if they change it to "ManWow" and allow it to be used as a do-rag.

14. Request uniform number change. From 99 to 00.

13. Turn down Tony Dungy invite for a personal consultation.

12. Turn down interview with Weekly World News "reporter."

11. Get over to Carl's Jr. and try one of them Kentucky Bourbon Six-Dollar Burger with Bacon that Vin Scully keeps raving about. Try two. Try three. Yes, they'll make your butt look big, but do it anyway. Could be an endorsement deal in there.

10. Invest in "Whizzinator" mail-order franchise.

9. Defect to Cuba - for at least a week. Make sure Castro's people know you're "available" for next World Baseball Classic.

8. Sign with National Pro Fastpitch league. Only if they'll allow you to be a DH.

7. Finally release that Reggaeton CD called "Me Being Me."

6. Accept invite from NOW convention to host panel discussion on the dangers of Octo-mom Syndrome.

5. Register the name "Man-roid."

4. Register the name "Manny-pause."

3. One more haircut -- just get rid of everything. Start fresh. Bald is bold.

2. Pray to the baseball Gods for at least one rainout between now and July 3 - which would push the grand comeback to the Fourth of July, and one heck of a fireworks show in San Diego, where Dodgers fans will again outnumber Padres' fans.

1. Don't worry. Be Manny. Not Tranny.

Now, cycle off. Menstrual, or otherwise.

Last night's Dodger game, while sidetracked by Manny Ramirez news, marked the 50th anniversary of the spectacular night at the Coliseum when Roy Campanella was embraced by the fans of Los Angeles -- 93,000-some showed up, lit a flame and showed their appreciation for the catcher who never got to play again after his January, 1958 car accident in Brooklyn that left him paralyzed.

Vin Scully even recounted during the Thursday telecast how the Dodgers actually played a day game in San Francisco on May 7, 1959, beating the Giants 2-1. They then flew home to play the exhibition against the New York Yankees, who had the day off but the night before played in Kansas City. The Dodgers actually flew back to San Francisco to continue the series against the Giants the next day.

The exhibition against the Yankees was to raise money to pay for Campanella's rising medical bills. The attendance was the most to see a major league baseball game -- until the Dodgers and Red Sox packed some 115,000 into the Coliseum for that 2007 exhibition.

The MLB Network marks the occasion on Monday with a Bob Costas-narrated piece that includes rarely-seen footage from that night, including Scully's call of the game and his post-game radio interview with Campanella. The piece will first air between 3 and 5 p.m.and repeat throughout the night on "MLB Tonight" and "Quick Pitch."

Also interviewed for the special are Campanella's daughter Joni Roan (who works for the LA Daily News); Wes Parker, the future Dodgers first baseman who attended the game as a teenager; Tommy Lasorda, who was Campanella's former teammate, and Carl Erskine, who pitched that night.

"They have to close down Mannywood ... shut it down forever. The mayor's a drug cheat. Manny's such a phoney."
-- Bill Plaschke, Los Angeles Times columnist, appearing on ESPN's "SportsCenter Special" Thursday afternoon.

"He's trying to give Manny the death sentence before he goes to trial. Let's find out what happened first before we send this guy down the river."
-- John Kruk, former MLB player and ESPN MLB analyst, in response to Plaschke's rant.

Every Manny, Moe and Jack in L.A. has an opinion about what should happen to the future of Mannywood. Keep up the good analogies. And apologies.

Other news of note, following up on the media's coverage Thursday of the latest Manny Ramirez saga (linked here):

== OK, one more gem of a quote from Thursday's TV stuff on Manny:

"The bottom line to me we live in a society where we're talking about greening of our society, we ought to be playing clean and playing green and stop all this steroid abuse and drug abuse in sport. Let's treat our bodies the way we should treat the rest of our environment."
-- Dr. Gary Wadler, clinical associate professor of the NYU School of Medicine, on ESPN during its "SportsCenter Special" Thursday afternoon.

"OK, great, thanks,"
-- Karl Ravech, ESPN anchor/host

== The Mike Breen-Jeff Van Gundy-Mark Jackson broadcast team (with Lisa Salters) that'll do tonight's Game 3 of the Lakers-Rockets series (ESPN, 6:30 p.m.) will also be on the Sunday Game 4 coverage (ABC Channel 7, 12:30 p.m.)

Some of the rest of the NBA playoff coverage in the coming days:
Tonight: Boston at Orlando Game 3, ESPN, 4 p.m., with Dave Pasch, Jon Barry and Ric Bucher.
Saturday: Denver at Dallas Game 3, ESPN, 2 p.m., with Dan Shulman, Doris Burke and Nancy Lieberman; Cleveland at Atlanta Game 3, Channel 7, 5 p.m. with Mike Tirico, Hubie Brown and Heather Cox.
Sunday: Boston at Orlando Game 4, TNT, 5 p.m., with Marv Albert, Reggie Miller and David Aldridge.
Monday: Cleveland at Atlanta Game 4, TNT, 5 p.m., with Dick Stockton, Mike Fratello and Cheryl Miller; Denver at Dallas Game 4, TNT, 7:30 p.m. with matt Devlin, P.J. Carlesimo and Marty Snider.

== NBC boasts that Mine That Bird's upset in last Saturday's Kentucky Derby was seen by 16.3 million viewers, two million more than a year ago, and seven million more than the last Kentucky Derby that ABC carried in 2000. The race had a 9.8 national rating and 23 share, the highest rating in 17 years. There were also two percent more female viewers than male viewers according to the demographic breakdown.
NBC has the Preakness on May 16.

Now about that call by Tom Durkin (linked here).
From the New York Times (linked here):
Tom Durkin, who called the Kentucky Derby for NBC, appeared to lose sight of Mine That Bird's dramatic move around the far turn and in the homestretch of the Derby, when the winner slipped past Join in the Dance to seize control of the race.
Coming out of the far turn, Durkin sensed that the front-runners were tiring.
"Join in the Dance has a tenuous lead," he said, then cited Regal Ransom, and, excitedly, Pioneerof the Nile as horses who were also on the lead.
At that time, Mine That Bird was charging on the inside. Durkin then called out Musket Man and Papa Clem, after Mine That Bird was in the lead. Durkin seemed to stammer for a moment about a horse on the inside.
By the time Mine That Bird received his second mention of the race -- the first was after the first half-mile -- he already had three lengths on the field.

The entire call:
"Top of the stretch, it's still Join in the Dance with a tenuous lead, Regal Ransom and Pioneerof the Nile strikes the front just outside the eight pole. Musket Man is coming hard down the middle of the track, and Papa Clem's right there too. Down toward the inside coming on through is, uh, Mine That Bird now is coming on to take the lead (it actually had been in the lead by three lengths at this point) as they come down to the finish. In a spectacular, spectacular upset, Mine That Bird has won the Kentucky Derby. An impossible result here!"

== Since Fox is committed to delivering the Boston-Tampa game on Saturday as its most-delivered MLB game (12:30 p.m., although L.A. receives the Dodgers-Giants contest), FSN West has the Angels' home game against Kansas City at 6 p.m., with Zack Greinke taking his 6-0 record and 0.40 ERA against the the Angels' Joe Saunders.

== Six minutes is all you'll need to set aside to watch the replay of the Pacquiao-Hatton bout from last week, as HBO includes it at 6:30 p.m. as part of Saturday's Chad Dawson-Antonio Tarver II bout. Jim Lampley, Max Kellerman and Emanuel Stewart call Dawson-Tarver.

== Versus is the place you need to go for Indianapolis 500 pole day coverage (Saturday, 9 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. live), followed by second-day qualifying (Sunday, 9 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. live). The network also has the third qualifying day and bump day on May 16-17.

== David Hill, the bossman at Fox Sports, goes on for a webchat today at noon to answer back questions about the network's NASCAR coverage. You can submit your queries at: http://msn.foxsports.com/story/9536406

== ESPN officially offered up a release Thursday to admit announce the hiring of Matt Millen as both an NFL and college football analyst. This means the former Raiders linebacker and recently departed head of the Detroit Lions will be a college football game analyst during both the regular season and bowls, and contribute to ESPN's NFL studio coverage throughout the year, appearing on Monday Night Countdown, NFL Live, SportsCenter, ESPNEWS and other programs. He starts in August.

== AND FINALLY:

== Supporters of LA36, the city-owned cable access channel that's become a home base for coverage of L.A. City-section high school sports, is under duress again as the city council is proposing removing its city operating grant. It's an annual plea for help, especially as more cutbacks are made by the city. Without the city support, the channel may have to cease operation as of July 1.

Here's a 2-minute promo about what the channel continues to offer:

Says Carla Carlini, the LA36 president and GM: "More than ever, we need your help to save our channel. In the past, you have stood by us and now we hope that you will stand with us once again, and save this city's important resource."

Vin Scully arrived at the top of the Dodgers-Nationals broadcast on Prime Ticket tonight looking no worse for wear than normal. It was time for Dodger baseball. And that's what he'd stick to.

"The Dodgers and the city of Los Angeles and all of California, and for that matter, all of baseball still shocked and stunned over the suspension of Manny Ramirez. We'll have more to say about that a little bit later on ... but, no one man stops baseball, and the game tonight should be another good one ..."

No disgust or distain in his voice, no hushed tones, just a matter-of-fact in his approach. ...

"And we'll have Joe Torre's comment about the Manny Ramirez situation after this."

After a commercial, Scully introduced a clip of Torre "earlier today ... held a lengthy conversation with the media behind home plate, here would be a snippet of his remarks."

"We'll be back with the ballgame right after this." Back to another commercial.

The night's starting lineups: Scully mentions that the Dodgers take the field "minus Manny Ramirez .. and we just keep rolling along."

After giving the Dodgers in the field, he adds: "And the Dodgers, accepting the challenge, they're a very, very good team with Manny, and we'll see how they react without him."

Later, in the bottom of the first, when giving the Dodgers' lineup, Scully seemed a little tongue-tied in explaining why Randy Wolf batted eighth, and "on the mound, and batting ninth, the left-fielder Juan Pierre."

Tommy Rancel at BeyondTheBoxscore.com (linked here) offered this up:

I put together this graph on who most people in and around baseball would want on their team: Juan Pierre or Manny Ramirez. The data is unofficial, but staggering.

StudyofSports.com (linked here) offers this suggestion: Denial, anger, rationalization, depression and acceptance.

And, then, buy those two tickets to the "Mannywood" section for the July 16 game, the first contest at Dodger Stadium he's scheduled to appear in.

From ESPN:

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=4148907

"I can't believe if it's the funniest thing I've heard, or the most ridiculous thing I've heard," said Jim Rome on his syndicated radio show.

Check out this link:

http://www.betus.com/sportsbook/tv_props-entertainment_futures-jim_rome_smack_off.aspx

Seems so. There's a "money line" that customers can check off and lay their cash down.

Pretty crazy? You bet (wait, that's a competing gambling site). This opens up a whole can of clone-worms we're not sure the financial community could bear to support.

After that, go see the odds it has posted on Nathan's Hot Dog Eating contest (over and under of 62 1/2 dogs eaten by the champ). Don't be a wienie.

ESPN will devote a 30-minute "SportsCenter Special" today at 12:30 p.m. to cover news surrounding the 50-game suspension of Dodgers outfielder Manny Ramirez that will supposedly be handed down today.

Ramirez said he "didn't know" -- he saw a physican for a personal health issue and received some medication -- not a steroid -- that apparently tripped off a test.

"I'm sorry about this whole situation," Ramirez has said.

Do we give him the benefit of the doubt? As the media attacks this story, we'll see how the wind blows.

Without having seen the piece yet, all we've been getting in this part of the country on the Spike Lee-Kobe Bryant collaberation of a documentary financed by ESPN called "Kobe Doin' Work" is about how the Lakers' star was miffed by not having enough creative control of the project.

It was an April 27 story on the New York Post's Page 6 gossip home (linked here) that started to fan those flames, apparently. A "spokesman" for Lee, according to the story, called it "complete baseless."

This morning, Lee said it himself: Shut up. That's just a lot of Hollywood talk.

"That is so far from the truth," Lee said in a conference call with a handful of writers that ESPN arranged. "Kobe loves it. First, if he didn't like it, he wouldn't have sat through the commentary. He said several times just how fun it was doing it."

So then, how come that report bleed out?

"I've been making movies for 20 years," said Lee. "Who knows where it comes from. That's not my concern. People are trying for whatever reason to poison the well. This is all good. There's no story there."

Keith Clinkscales, ESPN senior vice president of content development and enterprises and a co-producer of the project, added: "The only point I'd like to make -- there was a tremendous amount of logistics involved. When you see it and all the access that's inside the Laker locker room during the game and the proximity to the bench ... there's a tremendous amount of cooperation. Kobe had plenty of creative imput because he was on the floor. I'm not sure where that came from, but this was a very innovate way to bring forth the athlete."

The documentary, which debuted at the Tribuca Film Festival in New York, will air on ESPN on Saturday, May 16, at 5 p.m. (PDT). On April 13, 2008, during a Lakers' game at Staples Center against San Antonio -- the final regular-season game that had playoff seeding implications, televised by ABC -- Lee arranged for some 30 cameras and a slew of microphones to follow Bryant from home to game to postgame, with access granted by the team, coach Phil Jackson, owner Dr. Jerry Buss and the NBA.

Lee supplimented the ABC camera crew with his own cinematographer and a couple of camera operators from NFL Films that sat on opposite baselines to capture the moments. Bryant eventually connected with Lee and did the narration during the Lakers' only visit to New York on Feb. 2 -- right after his 61-point game at Madison Square Garden, which Lee attended (and was interviewed by KCAL's John Ireland during the contest):

There was probably a time in my kidhood when my mom wondered if I'd grow up to be the next Tommy Dorsey instead of Tommy Davis.

She'd come into my bedroom and hear the big-band music coming from my transistor radio. She'd find the battery-operated noisemaker that was probably keeping my other two brothers awake -- we shared one small room -- she'd shut it off and put it on the dresser.

The music only meant one thing: I had fallen asleep after taking the transistor radio to bed with me to listen to Vin Scully and Jerry Doggett do the final innings of the Dodger game, sometime in the 1960s and '70s.

The games were on KFI-AM (640). And after the Dodger game ended and Scully had signed off, there was no "DodgerTalk." The station had a show with host Chuck Cecil called "The Swingin' Years," featuring all that big band music from the '30s and '40s. (We are surprised and content to find out Cecil still does the show, for the Long Beach State campus jazz and blues station KJAZZ-FM 88.1, each weekend, linked here ... you can even stream it on your iPhone).

The radio I had looked similar to the one that the Dodgers will give away to the first 30,000 at tonight's contest at Dodger Stadium. This one looks so retro, you kind of expect to hear the voices of Scully and Doggett calling tonight's game, giving away Union Oil auto script to Billy Grabarkewitz for his home run, and $100 worth to the Boys and Girls Club of La Habra.

Kids today ... don't get me started. They should all have a transistor radio in their arsenal of iPods, cellphones and whatever else they're sticking in or close to their ears. If only for what the transistor provides -- it's a true science experiment. I don't know how many times I took mine apart, not just to put in a new Ray-O-Vac 8 volt battery. But to see the circuit board, with all the diodes and things soldered together. The wires leading to the speaker that looked as if it was made of paper. All the colors, and the nimble fingers it must have taken to put that scematic process together.

As a public service, the transistor radio gave you a sense of what everyone was listening to, not what you wanted to listen to. A rock station would play a certain play list that everyone was on board with. A news station would provide the information that everyone needed to know. And it had the sporting events -- each team had their own identity with their own station. You came to L.A., you had to learn the freeways first, then the layout of the radio stations to find on the dashboard so your trip on the freeways were more in tune to the city's pulse.

We're all for individualism, but the transistor brought people together on the same note. It's probably why I'm still addicted, all these years later, just as I am to the newspaper. It's not just a nostalgic pull to the past. It's what's comfortable in a world that keeps wanting to chance, supposely with technology that makes things better and more efficient.

In its day, the transistor was a huge technological invention, by the way. It united Dodger fans to this team that had just moved from New York. It allowed us to sit in the stands and listen to Scully introduce us to the game, the players, the history, the context.

The coolest thing to see tonight will be a kid who is given this radio, goes to his seat, turns it on (there's a battery already in it) and listens to Scully do the first three innings. Scully's voice will resonate around the park, and that echo effect will be amazing.

Almost as amazing -- if you're only looking at Dodgers' English-speaking play-by-play and colormen who've been on the team's radio broadcasts since it moved to L.A. in 1958, there'd be ... eight.

Scully, teammed up with Red Barber and Connie Desmond in 1950, had Doggett join him in 1956. Just the two of them came to L.A. in '58 and it stayed that way for nearly 20 years.

Ross Porter joined to make it a threesome in 1977, and they were together until 1987, when Doggett retired (and later passed away in 1997). Don Drysdale replaced Doggett and remained until his passing in the middle of the 1993 season. Rick Monday replaced Drysdale and remained teammed up with Scully and Porter through 2004.

In 2005, Charley Steiner replaced Porter. Al Downing and Jerry Reuss were also used as radio partners for Monday for the last three seasons until Steiner-Monday were made a permanent radio team.

Steiner-Monday join the game after Scully does the first three innings of a simulcast (with either Prime Ticket or KCAL-Channel 9) on KABC-AM (790), which is sponsoring the radio giveaway tonight. KABC was the team's flagship from 1973 to 1997. KFWB-AM 980 (2002-07), KXTA-AM 1150 (2001-1998), KFI-AM 640 (1961 to '72) and KMPC-AM 710 (1958-60) were the previous radio homes. In Spanish, the team's current home is on KWKW-AM (1330) with Jaime Jarrin, Pepe Yniguez and Fernando Valenzuela.

How's that for creating an intimate connection between team and fan? It's a lesson sports-talk programmers could learn -- stop switching things on the listeners so often and let them settle in for a relationship on the radio. Even if you think the ratings drive the show, allow the thing to breathe and develop. A broadcaster can adapt and evolve; the listener can create the habit of going back to the storyteller because they've formed a connection.

Here's some more reading from the L.A. Times blog by Larry Harnish you may want to do on the subject (linked here).

That's info for the kids, who haven't seen a game on the radio. Live and learn.

Comment here or at thomas.hoffarth@dailynews.com

Young Kwak/Associated Press
Former Spokane Valley, Wash. mayor Michael DeVleming, right, and Mark Bushnell, center, smoke a cigar as a member of their foursome, Leslie Michler, walks by during a round of golf at Esmeralda Golf Course in Spokane, Wash. The city of Spokane recently tried to ban smoking on its four public golf courses, only to be stymied by an outcry from players and smoking rights advocates.

By Nicholas K. Geranios
Associated Press

SPOKANE, Wash. -- For the cigar-smoking golfer, 18 holes and a stogie rank with peanut butter and jelly or gin and tonic among life's ideal combinations.

That's why recent efforts across the country to ban smoking on public golf courses are being greeted by those players like a triple bogey. In the balance between individual rights and public health, weekend duffers feel authorities have become unreasonable.

The city of Spokane just tried to ban smoking on its four public golf courses, only to be stymied by an outcry from players and smoking rights advocates.

"Golf and cigars go together like a hand in a glove," said Dale Taylor of Tacoma, president of the Cigar Association of Washington, a smokers' rights groups. "That may be the only time some people smoke."

Washington state is among the least hospitable places for smokers, with no smoking allowed in any public indoor space, or outside within 25 feet of a door or window. But the proposed smoking ban on public links has struck a nerve, in part because of the vastness of golf courses. Playing a typical 18-hole course, such as Downriver in Spokane, means traveling easily more than three miles.

"If I was just walking and somebody was 300 feet away, I'm bothering them?" avid smoker and golfer Greg Presley told the Spokane parks board during a public hearing. "We've got to have some common sense."

UPDATED: May 6, 10:44 a.m.

Not to take anything away from what odds have been posted already for Jim Rome's annual "Smack Off" coming up Friday (9 a.m. to noon on KLAC-AM 570 for those in this part of the map).

But, sure, we do aim to take something away. For our own peace of mind, to get our ears around what's going on here, based on our own history of listening to this clone-slingin' thing progress from start (back in the non-syndicated day) to this point in the history of our existence.

It's gotten this far, and it's still not predictable. To a degree. We know the track record of some. There is some drama. But what's the chance in inspiring someone finally coming up through the bushes and brush, teeing it up, rip it with some freshness and make this a smack-a-thon that could push thing in an entirely a new direction. Because, honestly, even with a ready-made tip sheet, we could be at a tipping point this year.

If you need a list of past winners via that error-free link to Wikipedia (linked here). Or this site with audio (linked here).

If you need some more due dillgence, here's a fan site, Stucknut.com, which posted odds earlier this week (linked here).

If you're giving us the floor, here's how we'll handicap it:

Ineligible:
== Sean the Cablinasian (five-time winner; still working for a station that competes with Rome in the Houston market, still considered the show's greatest caller)

Previous winners with exemptions:
== Iafrate: 3/1 (two-time winner and defending champion)
== Doc Mike DiTolla: 5/1 (2x winner)
== Silk in Huntington Beach: 12/1
== Jeff in Richmond: 120/1
== Stevie Carbone: 150/1
== Jeffery DiTolla: 500/1
== JT The Brick (the first winner in 1995, now on the Fox Sports Radio network with his own nighttime gig): 1,101,995/1

Others who could/should emerge/submerge:
== Terrence in Sierra Madre (aka: The Best Caller Never to Win a Smack-Off): 5/2 (please, don't be a stranger ... call ... get in ...)
== Greg in Vegas: 5/1
== Joe in O.C.: 6/1
== Brad in Corona: 10/1

== Trapper in Dana Point: 19/1
== Irie Craig (aka: Maybe The Best Caller to Never Win a Smack-off): 25/1
== Jeff in Phoenix: 30/1
== Casey in Vegas: 35/1
== Corey in Ann Arbor: 35/1
== Mike in Wichita: 40/1
== Smooth Joe in Hollywood: 50/1

== Dan in DC: 55/1
== Rachel in Houston: 69/2
== Jay Mohr: 351/1 (could go 5 pounds either side)
== Oren in Denver: 545/1
== Lear in Annapolis: 50/1
== Gino in San Antonio: 650/1
== Jim in Fall River: 650/1
== Chad in Portland: 722/1
== Jalen in San Antonio: 767/1
== Bode in Pearland, Texas: 865/1
== JD in Nashville: 950/1

== John in Ctown via New Hampshire: 10,561/1
== Brendan in Wilmington: 12,551/1
== Nezrin in the OC: 6 billion/1
== Vic from NoCal: 32 gazillion/1 (hasn't learned lesson from a year ago ... a no-show after calling his shot ... appearing on Wednesday's show to say he's taking a new, low-key approach with some rambling military references make it even clear he has no grasp of things)

== A person you've never heard of before Thursday: 150/1
That's who we're pullin' for.

From last week's media column on the train wreck of trying an inning of radio play-by-play for the Lancaster JetHawks (linked here) come these reactions/responses/revelations from those more in the know (and advice that could apply to some of those who actually do this for a living):

== Charley Steiner, Dodgers radio play-by-play man:

"Welcome to my world, where there is no delete key, you can't back space, and then hit enter. Oh and how did you like your cushy safety net. What safety net? 'Wolf's first pitch...taken for a ball." Fastball, slider, curve? High, low, inside, outside? I don't think I ever heard the location or type of a single pitch. Boy were you lucky. Three pitches, two outs. You kept the game moving. And then a home run! And you've got a home-run call to boot! Boo-yeah. Great sassy molassy. Someone lays down a bunt (who had a 13-game hitting streak, or didn't he?) Was the bunt back to the box, down the first-base line? Third-base line? Something about painting a picture. Poor old Barnes "rocks and throws" on every pitch? I was getting dizzy at the thought. But it sure is fun, isnt it? We both could be working for a living."

== Chris Roberts, UCLA football and basketball radio voice:

"Like you better as a play by play guy than an analyst. Sounded a little bitter about the horns in the stands making it more like a soccer game. Management wouldn't like that at all. Have never quite heard a home run described the way you did it. WOW! For the Inland Empire....."Honorable Mention." You had fun with it. That is good."

== Dave Caldwell, longtime Santa Clarita high school play-by-play man and current voice of Cal State Northridge sports:

"Well, well, well ... You finally got to get a taste of the dark side. I'm surprised you never got (or demanded) the opportunity to do play-by-play. I now feel like Pig Pen in 'A Charlie Brown Christmas': 'Sort of makes you want to treat me with more respect, doesn't it?' Of course the naturally curly haired girl replies, 'You're an absolute mess.' So now you know the secret."

== Spero Dedes, Lakers' radio play-by-play voice:

"I'm probably not the right guy to be giving feedback on a baseball broadcast, but I have to say, you seemed awfully comfortable for a guy who's never done it before. Or have you? Story-telling has never been my thing... Maybe you could give me some pointers in that department."

== Ken Levine, KABC-AM "DodgerTalk" co-host with experience calling games for the minor leagues as well as the Baltimore Orioles and Seattle Mariners:

"Kudos! You did great! My first time was into a tape recorder in the upper deck of Dodger Stadium and the usher who overheard asked if I needed a designated driver. You sounded engaging and conversational. You didn't bombard me with statistics (although I was wondering what the San Jose pitcher's WIP was), didn't resort to annoying slackercaster cliches like 'the bump,' had the beginnings of your own distinctive home run call (it screams out for embellishment -- just my opinion), and had there been a crowd you would have blended in very well with it. Now that you've mastered this, let's see if the Ducks announcer will let you do a period of the NHL Playoffs."

== Josh Sushon, KABC-AM "DodgerTalk" co-host with experience as minor-league play-by-play man:

"What I liked most was you didn't try to sound like Vin Scully or Joe Buck or a 'real' PBP announcer. You just said whatever came to mind. Ripping the horns. Saying a pitcher was annoyed by a runner at second base. Mocking yourself. Saying the wrong guy had the hitting streak. Advising the umpire to block a ball for a catcher. It was entertaining in the sense that, "this guy doesn't care. He's not trying to be smooth and polished. He's just saying whatever the hell comes to mind." ... The home run call was legendary. I literally laughed out loud. What I loved most is how it sounded like a routine flyball, but it was a home run. Ahhhh, welcome to Lancaster. It's like Arena Baseball there. It's the hardest ballpark in the Cal League, perhaps in all of baseball, to call a game. ... When I did my first PBP in college, I remember thinking the game flew by. It must have been two hours and five minutes. Actually, it was three and a half hours. The game was so fast when I first did PBP, even if it's dragging along at a painful pace. Once the game feels like the actual speed, that's when you settle in. This is another way of saying that your perception of the job would be totally different if you did all nine innings for a week. ...
It sounded like you had fun. It made for a good read. When I first started doing PBP, it made me appreciate how hard it is, and I gained new respect for some announcers. Once I felt like I got the hang of it, I didn't think it was all that hard, and I got extra annoyed by lazy announcers. Perhaps your two innings will have the same impact as your critique announcers. Either way, keep it up. We all need checks and balances."

== Lou Riggs, sportscasting instructor at Santa Monica College and personal trainer for many in the business:

"Well, Tom, good news...it wasn't worst I've ever heard...If you were really going to do this on a serious vein, I would have a lot to say...but, good voice...not using it much...in the sense that you let it drift up at the end of a play or thought. It should be more declarative. 'Bouncer to short, throw to first, in time!' One thing that bothered me a lot was lack of information...also, used nicknames of teams almost exclusively...Giants/Jet Hawks...It's not like the Giants and Dodgers...so, I would have ID'd the teams more frequently by city name...Also, needed more info on each batter...like the cleanup guy for Lancaster...kind of an after thought after he swung at 3-0 pitch, that he leads the league? in home runs? That should have been up front. 'John Jones, clean-up hitter for Lancaster, steps to the plate. Grounded to first in the first inning, but leads the league in home runs with 12...Last year, at Fresno (for example) he hit 25 home runs. So, power is his game. He's also hitting .325 for the Jet Hawks, who lead the San Jose Giants, 2-1, in the bottom of the third inning. Two out, runner at second.' ... Anyway, wasn't a bad effort for a first time outing. Your colleague was right. Sounded like a TV broadcast on a radio game. Did you ever hear Pat Summeral do a "radio" broadcast. He did TV broadcast on radio, which is basically worthless. Prep time is critical so you don't have to be pushing through mound of papers to find the note. Most of it should be organized in a way that it's at your finger tips. But, good try, all things considered."

Sorry, but for now, we have no answer to how Versus, and not FSN, will have the bulk of the AVP events this summer. We wish we could explain it more. Maybe those who run company aren't even sure how it happened, or what to say about it. But they're not talking. Again.

In discussions with some AVP folks over the last few months about an upcoming TV deal -- and how it could capitalize on the success it had with two gold-medal winning teams at the recent Beijing Summer Olympics, as well as the recent news that "sand" volleyball would be a sanctioned NCAA sport -- we heard some talk that even ESPN could have stepped up and taken it as a live, weekend series.

But somewhere along the way, AVP CEO Leonard Armato stepped down, things changed, Misty May Treanor and Kerri Walsh weren't going to be around, and now there's the news that Versus and NBC would be the network homes for the sport.

And it ends a very long AVP-FSN relationship that, frankly, makes little sense if you're a TV viewer trying to follow the sport. But then again, there were always viewer confusion as far as when events were on, etc.

The AVP-FSN deal goes back to the local Prime Ticket days of the 1980s with Chris Marlowe and Paul Sunderland, even Lynn Shackleford, doing the matches before rather rowdy crowds in their towels and sand chairs (no bleachers, no big sponsors, and plenty of sideouts). We were there.

So how did this end? No one at FSN will go on the record to discuss how this change came about. We could speculate -- but why bother, if they don't want to bother?

Chris "Geeter" McGee will be doing the play-by-play (with Karch Kiraly on the men's events and Holly McPeak on the women, and Sinjin Smith on the sidelines) when Versus airs the first of 11 AVP tape-delayed events, starting with last week's deal near San Diego -- actually, at a sand pit next to a casino in Valley Center instead of on one of the city's fabulous beaches. That won't air until Monday (May 11, 2-4 p.m.) and Tuesday (May 12, 1-3 p.m.) on Versus -- more than a week after it happened.

The event coming up in Houston (May 16-17) won't air on Versus until May 24 and 26 -- which is after the tour will have gone to Huntington Beach. And that classic event won't air until May 31 and June 2, by which time, the tour will be finished in Atlanta...

The two-hour block on Sundays, despite the awkward PDT, are at least locked in.

For the local stuff, the famed Manhattan Beach Open takes place July 16-19, but doesn't air on Versus until July 27-28.

That's not real convenient for those beach volleyball fans used to "hot summer nights" Sunday night programming. But at least it's on TV, a national carrier, a place to build.

Says McGee: "I'm happy for the opportunity to do play by play for the AVP on Versus with Karch, Holly, and Sinjin. This has always been a goal for me and after 12 years of being the MC for the AVP I'm excited for the challenge."

A press release quote from new AVP CEO Jason Hodell: "We are thrilled to partner with Versus, the fastest growing sports cable network in the country. Our comprehensive schedule on Versus gives fans all around the country the ability to tune in to the majority of AVP events."

NBC will do three events this season: Coney Island, N.Y. (July 4-5), Hermosa Beach (Aug. 8-9) and Chicago (Aug. 29-30), most likely with Marlowe on the call, with Mike Dodd and Karch Kiraly. And they're either be live or slightly delayed on the same day.

The AVP did a deal with Fox Sports Net to carry its second event of the season, in Riverside, last month.

The AVP.com website also does live streaming of its events.

But then again, what do we know (go to this link)?

Anil Kapoor, from that movie all the kids are still talking about, "Slumdog Millionaire," threw out the first pitch at Monday's Dodgers-Diamondbacks game at Dodger Stadium. Apparently, wearing Walter Alston's retired jersey.

(We're pretty sure that even if Kiefer Sutherland were to throw out the first pitch at a game, they wouldn't let him wear '24', but maybe the rules are different in India.)

But that wasn't the only crazy sight of the night.

Bottom of the second (linked here). Russell Martin walks to lead it off. Matt Kemp is safe at first on an error by D'backs shortstop Josh Wilson, putting runners at first and second.

Casey Blake then runs the count to 3-and-2 and ....

As only Vin Scully could call it it:

"So, if you look at Casey Blake, he has struck out 22 times and walked eight. So he's almost three-to-one the wrong way. But remember, you have the pitcher on deck. So we'll watch the runners.

"3 and 2 the count, Dodgers 2, D-backs 1, bottom of the second.

"Davis set, checking ... runners go ... and the pitch ...

"Line drive, backhanded by Wilson, they go to second ... they go to first ... a triple play!

"So the kid who made the error (to allow Kemp to get on) starts a triple play ... How do you do! ... Wow.

"From short to second to first, Josh Wilson will get high fives ... it's 2-1 Dodgers."

Commercial break. Then everyone did a big dance number.

Wait, "How do you do?"

Is Scully stealing from another wildly popular Southern California broadcaster? Or is he just reclaiming a phrase that he loaned out to someone, who then took possession as a "Hey Now!"-type signature regurgitation?

According to Deletionpedia -- a site that lists deleted Wikipedia bios (linked here) -- USC radio football play-by-play man Pete Arbogast had this information (complete with original punctation errors):

"He has copied the phrase "How do you do!" from Dodger's announcer, Vin Scully. It is considered Arbogast's signature phrase. Reportedly, at lunch during his time as Dodger Public Address announcer he asked Scully if he could use it for his own during USC broadcasts, and Scully gratiously said yes."

So if there's a lesson learned here, the proper usage of "How do you do!" seems to be only after an extra-extraordinary, somewhat historic incident -- such as a triple play. Otherwise, it's just trite?

You're invited to listen, watch and learn as Bud Selig, David Stern, Roger Goodell and Gary Bettman (importance not necessarily in order) participate in a panel discussion (clothing optional) sponsored by the Wall Street Journal on "The Future of Sports" -- specifically, the "challenges and opportunities the leagues face in the current economic climate, as well as issues of competition and matters that are important to fans," according to the rules issued in a WSJ press release.

That oughta be enough material to last a 24/7 news cycle.

The Wall Street Journal site (www.wsj.com) and FoxSports (www.foxsports.com) will webcast it live starting Wednesday morn at 6 a.m. (PDT) -- of course, it's made for those East Coasters, at 9 a.m.

A transcript will be up afterward at http://wsj.com/sports.

OK, the first question, from the middle-aged grump in the San Fernando Valley:

== Why isn't the head of NASCAR involved in this discussion, if it's really the sport that everyone cares about most deeply across this great country of ours?

Thanks, any more?

I'll go with Goodell for the block in the middle square.

Robert Thomson, editor-in-chief of Dow Jones & Company and managing editor of The Wall Street Journal, will host the event. Sam Walker, sports editor of The Wall Street Journal, will moderate.

By the way, a month ago, the WSJ launched, for the first time in its 120-year history, a daily sports page that now appears Monday through Saturday in the paper and online at http://wsj.com/sports. Because, well, it can afford to.

How Fox Sports is connected to this event? You remember those rumors of Ruppert Murdoch trying to buy the whole WSJ empire ... He's gotta get a foot in somewhere.