The Media Learning Curve: He ain't heavy, he's my brother Stan ... oh, wait, he is kinda heavy

We just love this Jeff and Stan Van Gundy story as it evolves through the NBA Finals. Like an episode of "South Park." We know something's bound to get messed up in the end.

Beyond today's media column (linked here), which reviews Thursday's Game 1, we were also able to shuffle out:

== One (or three) more quips from Jeff Van Gundy during his unsqueemish appearance:

- In the fourth quarter with the Lakers up by about 25 points, Mike Breen read a promo asking viewers to vote for the player of the game through a text message, and "the voting closes at the end of the game." Said Van Gundy: "No, no, no. The voting is already closed. Can we just close the voting? I know we gotta read that ... what was that phone company? T-mobile? Great. Great company. The voting is closed. Kobe won, OK?"

- After Doris Burke talked to Lakers coach Phil Jackson between the third and fourth quarter, Jackson said about Bryant's performance to that point: I don't want him to shoot so much. To which Mark Jackson replied: "Are you kidding me? If I'm coaching, I ride him." Van Gundy: "I think both coaches would hope that they would stop going to him. I think Stan would agree -- get Luke Walton involved."

- As there's a shot of the Magic's Jameer Nelson running up the court with his mouthpiece hanging out, Van Gundy said: "That reminds me of B.J. Armstrong (when he was playing) with the Bulls. I always wanted to rip that out of his mouth."

== A quote from Clippers coach Mike Dunleavy, part of the ESPN "SportsCenter" pre-pre-game show coverage with Mike Tirico and Jalen Rose: "I think if Dwight Howard stays out of foul trouble and the Orlando Magic drop the 3-bombs like they're capable of ... I like ... the Lakers in six."

== There's no question as to how ABC is promoting its new "Superstars" competition show coming up on June 23, after seeing two promos during the NBA coverage on Thursday. The first, during the pregame show, had the voiceover: "The competition will be hot ... and the bodies are hotter," as two girls in bikini tops in a pool are shown, and Terrell Owens lowers his glasses to get a better look. The promo that aired during the game was more graphic -- as in, using graphics to state its marketing message clearer for those who were hearing impared. During halftime, the second promo used the words "Fierce Competition" ... and "Minimal Clothing" -- again, with Owens giving us the look over the glasses. Kinda reminiscent of his scandalous "MNF" lead-in with the "Desperate Housewives" disrobing actress that drew his "Oh, yeah!" response and set everyone all atwitter.

== This Kobe-Magic Q-and-A session, which aired more "indepth" during halftime but had already been promoted to the extreme for days on ESPN's "SportsCenter," apparently was so compelling that ABC decided that it continued on "Nightline," according to Stuart Scott. We didn't tune in to verify.

==In reclaiming coverage of the first three rounds of baseball's amateur draft, the six-month-old MLB Network plans to go live at 3 p.m. Tuesday with the first pick in a 2 ½-hour show. Greg Amsinger hosts it, with former GM John Hart as the key analyst, along with MLB Scouting Bureau Director Frank Marcos and Baseball America executive editor Jim Callis as the main contributors. Hart, by the way, was the Cleveland Indians GM who drafted Manny Ramirez in 1991, and CC Sabathia in 1998, both in the first round. Starting with the first compensation pick (No. 33), MLB.com airs live video for the rest of the day's picks.
ESPN.com has Scouts Inc. know it all Keith Law making minute-to-minute rankings adjustments in preparation for Tuesday's MLB free-agent draft (linked here). The Dodgers lost their No. 17 spot in the first round when they signed second baseman Orlando Hudson from Arizona; the Angels gained the Nos. 24 and 25 spot when they lost Frankie Rodriguez and Mark Texiera to free agency, taken by the Mets and Yankees.

== ABC's prerace coverage of Saturday's Belmont Stakes (2 p.m.) is thankfully preceded by five hours of more prerace coverage on ESPN (9 a.m. to 2 p.m.), with the focus back on Calvin Borel's chance to win all three Triple Crown races from his jockey seat. Joe Tessitore hosts, with analysts Jerry Bailey, Randy Moss, Jeannine Edwards, Rece Davis, Jay Privman, Steve Cyphers, Tom Rinaldi and Caton Bredar. Kenny Mayne and Hank Goldberg do the handicapping, plus Rick Reilly is somehow along for the ride in some hilarious fashion. Mayne has a feature of how he rode along with Mine That Bird trainer Chip Wooley from his home in New Mexico to Belmont Park in New York. They did it by car, not aboard the horse.

== An ESPN app for the iPhone and iPod was bound to come around, and Apple has it free, sponsored, with real-time scores, live game info, game summaries and stats on 500 leagues in nine sports and six languages. Find it at www.itunes.com/appstore/

== Dave Pasch, Nancy Lieberman and Rebecca Lobo call the Sparks' WNBA opener, at home against Detroit, Saturday at 11:30 a.m. (Channel 7). ESPN2 and ABC do 13 regular-season WNBA games. The Sparks' six-game home schedule on Prime Ticket starts June 21 (vs. Sacramento) with Larry Burnett and Tracy Warren calling it. The last home game (Friday, Sept. 11, 7:30 p.m.) will be a Prime Ticket production -- marking Lisa Leslie's final home contest in the regular season.

== The second week in a row of a Dodgers' appearance on ESPN's Sunday Night Baseball - this time, at home against Philadelphia, 5 p.m. -- goes head-to-head with the Lakers-Magic Game 2 of the NBA Finals. Dan Shulman subs for Jon Miller (who's just taking the night off) on play-by-play, with Joe Morgan and Steve Phillips.

== Have you been fooled seeing Michael Eaves and Patrick O'Neal pop up during or after a Prime Ticket Dodger telecast on the "DodgersLive" set - but doing a fake episode, disguised as a commercial for an insurance company that's conducting an online contest? What insurance can we buy to prevent this from happening again?

== Bill Weber, Kyle Petty and Wally Dallenbach take over for TNT's coverage of NASCAR's Sprint Cup series starting Saturday at the Pocono 500 (11 a.m.), and the network keeps hold of it through July 11 (5 p.m., Chicago Speedway), with stops at Michigan (June 14, 11 a.m.), the Toyota/Save Mart 350 from Infineon Raceway (June 21, 2 p.m.), Loudon, New Hampshire (June 28, 11 a.m.) and Coke Zero 400 from Daytona (5 p.m., Saturday July 4).

== They haven't killed Kenny: The next "season" of Kenny Mayne's "Mayne Street" rolls out on ESPN.com starting Tuesday morning. Here's the trailer for it:

They have six new "webisodes" where Mayne plays himself in a fictional surrounded by friends ... like "Seinfeld," except ... not like "Seinfeld." Show 1 is about how Kenny gets sucked into Twittering. Hinjinx ensure.

AND FINALLY:

== How Charles Barkley (cough) decided to go out on the final TNT broadcast (cough) of the season:

That was so funny. In fifth grade (cough).

A TNT spokesman issued the statement: "While Charles often makes jokes about his producer during our telecasts, he used poor judgment . . . His comment was inappropriate and TNT apologizes to our viewers."

Apparently, Kenny Smith (cough) really is what Barkley said.

And Charles isn't sorry (linked here).