August 2009 Archives

Tom Horton, the Hermosa Beach paddleboard competitor who was raising money for the Agoura Hills-based Greater L.A. Chapter of the ALS Association (see this link), finished Sunday's race in 6 hours 47 minutes -- 63rd overall out of more than 100 competitors and 11 minutes later than last year.

"It was another grueling year," he said. "The water was very calm and glassy most of the way. There was a small Northwest swell coming through which added a bit of push against us and most people I spoke to finished later than last year."

From his goal to raise $50,000, Horton has so far received nearly $10,000 in pledges from more than 80 folks, but they're still coming in. If you're able to contribute, go to his link (linked here).

More info:

== The Daily Breeze story on Sunday's finish (linked here)

== Official results (linked here)

== More photos from the event (linked here)

== The ALS Association (linked here)

== A KNBC-Channel 4 story on Horton:

Please, summer, don't end so fast. Again.

The kids start school today -- 13th grade and 17th grade respectively -- at locations as exquisite (and expensive) as Portland and as exotic (and extricating) as San Diego.

The vacation period, for now, has ended. The circle of sports life -- football, the U.S. Open tennis rumble -- begins its fall cycle.

A time to feel a little old. Maybe even some random thoughts of investing in one of these things Kevin Modesti wrote about last week .... the Dodger blue caskets and urns, on display at Rose Hills in Whitter for those who are price-point shopping (linked here).

Or, it's what fans bury the 2009 Dodgers in if they give away this six-game lead with one month to play in the championship season. We'll head out to the ballyard to see what's up tonight. It's the opening of the final four week stretch to see who gets to keep playing deeper into October.

Do the math when you look at the standings. If everything holds, the Dodgers open against the Philadelphia Phillies in the first round of the playoffs, because the wild-card will likely be either Colorado or San Francisco out of the NL West, facing the division winner with the next-best record, St. Louis.

And in the AL, the Angels and Red Sox are lined up again for another meeting, since the Yankees have a lead in the East that they don't seem to be able to give away, and they'd face Detroit in the first round.

What else is on the radar:

==The opening of the college football season -- Saturday, unless you count Thursday's games on TV. Does USC and UCLA have contingency plans in case the air quality continues to be so poor that the Coliseum and/or Rose Bowl aren't viable options for the teams' home openers back-to-back on Saturday afternoon? Is there a domed facility everyone can converge on for a So Cal doubleheader? Maybe Home Depot Center?

Add to the opening of college football: Preseason No. 1 Florida opens at home against Div. I-AA Charleston Southern. The Gators gave their opponents $450,000 to make the trip as a sacrificial lamb. The point spread? Danny Sheridan had it at 73 points. USA Today dropped it to 63 points. That's nine touchdowns, you math majors. Some researchers say that's the largest spread ever given in college football history (usually they don't even post odds when a Div I-A school schedules a Div. I-AA). In 2007, Hawaii hosted Northern Colorado and was made a 59 1/2-point favorite. The Hawaiians failed to cover in a 63-6 victory.

==The opening of the U.S. Open -- on two channels, some even showing the same match, with about as many tennis broadcasters as one nation can assemble. It's tennis nirvana for those who can't get enough. Especially with DirecTV's mix channel of six screens. Just let us know when Sam Querrey and the Bryan Brothers pop up.

==The opening of networks starting to promote all they have in NFL coverage. We'll spare you the details, except that NBC has a new plan to break up their massive Sunday pregame show, and others have ... much of the same ol' stuff.

==The opening of seasonal allergies. Or maybe that's just too much smoke in the air. Golf must be played with caution.

The MLB Network plans to air a segment today called "MLB Network Remembers: The Eddie Gaedel Story," narrated by Bob Costas.

A short subject on many levels.

Yes, it was the 3-foot-7, 65-pound Eddie Gaedel who went to bat for the St. Louis Browns against the Detroit Tigers in 1951, conceived by Browns owner Bill Veeck and executed by manager Zach Taylor.

Pinch hitting for Frank Saucier, Gaedel was told to crouch low and not swing his toy bat. Remarkably, he drew a walk from Tigers pitcher Bill Cain.

And no midget has been allowed in the game since. And no discrimination lawsuit has been filed yet claiming .... whatever crack this falls into.

This story (more info linked here) has interviews with former St. Louis Browns outfielder Roy Sievers, former St. Louis Browns batboy Fred Buchholz, Gaedel's nephew Bob Gaedel and St. Louis Browns historian Bill Borst.

It airs between 3 and 4 p.m. and re-airs throughout the night on "MLB Tonight."

The Dodgers-Rockies game on Prime Ticket was picked up by MLB Network on Thursday -- allowing the rest of the country to enjoy Vin Scully's nine-inning call of the Dodgers' 3-2 victory.

Phil Mushnick of the New York Post -- about as cranky a sports TV critic as there is out there in the newspaper biz -- posted this column today (linked here) about his unexpected pleasure in getting the MLB feed of Scully:

I KNOW I should have been watching the rest of the Rangers-Yankees, but . . . The MLB Network, yesterday, carried, live, the Dodgers-Rockies game, the Dodgers' feed. With Vin Scully. What a treat. Scully has understood the difference between radio and TV since Jack Benny made the switch. On TV, his greatest gift is brevity. He knows exactly when it's time to say nothing. And he rarely sees anything worth shouting about. He figures that we can see or we wouldn't be watching. In fact, in the first inning, yesterday, he noted that Dodgers shortstop Rafael Furcal is a switch hitter, adding, "batting right." Then he added, as if to credit us and scold himself, "as you can see."

Sixty years later, Scully never sounds bored or distracted. Or forced. No self-promotional nicknames, no pre-fab signature calls; he says nothing to place himself above the game or anything in it. And, because he works alone, he provides analysis, but no over-analysis. Still, his attention to detail, biographical info and what happened last night is complete.

Yesterday, when LA's Matt Kemp hit a long homer, Scully correctly characterized it "a monster," yet barely raised his voice. He doesn't shout; he italicizes. Besides, he has no home run call beyond what comes naturally. Imagine that: Scully doesn't rehearse what isn't scripted. If he were 21, today, fresh out of Fordham, looking for his first gig, a team or radio GM would quickly, easily remove him from consideration for everything that since, good gosh, 1950, so many have cherished.

Yesterday was another one of those days, one of those broadcasts. He was the stranger you were seated beside at the game who, by the sixth inning, you'd awkwardly tell, "I just wanna let you know that I feel lucky to be seated next to you." Colorado is as far East that Scully, 81, travels, these days, to call games. There was a rumor in LA, in May, that Scully will retire after this season, his 60th in the Dodgers' booths, the longest run any broadcaster has had with any team. Scully might have started that rumor when he said he wouldn't rule out packing it in after this season. Since, though, he seems to have backed off. Perhaps he'll make 2010, with an even more limited schedule, his last. He says he'll let us know, but if he's back there likely will be even less of him. So yesterday's telecast wasn't one to take for granted. It was one to soak up every word he said and how he said it. As for those moments when he chose to say nothing, hey, we're baseball fans -- why else would we be watching? -- were as good as anything he did say. What a treat.

At 4:30, he broke a short silence with this: "One out, fourth inning, 2-2 tie." Not great, but perfect. Twenty minutes later, two on for the Dodgers: "In the dirt, and going to third is Matt Kemp on the wild pitch." There was nothing shout-worthy and the team announcer wasn't selling it as anything more than what we could see it was. In the sixth, the Dodgers took a 3-2 lead and Scully merely emphasized what too many others would have pulverized: "Ground ball . . . up the middle . . . base hit. And the Dodgers finally get a clutch single." Scully called the entire game, 3½ hours. He missed nothing, never wilted; he kept our heads in it, our eyes on it and never treated us as if we were too stupid to know better. And he's 81 years old. What a treat.

The Dodgers announced the other day that the recent "ThinkCure" telethon on radio, TV and the Internet raised $240,776. That "shatters" (according to the press release) the first-year mark of $166,485 in its efforts to raise money for cancer research at City of Hope and Childrens Hospital L.A.

Team execs had set the goal of raising $200,000 for this year's event -- a modest 20 percent increase by any matrix used in these difficult money times. That said, it was promoted heavily on their flagship radio station, another FM radio station, two TV stations and a couple of websites that involved auction items up for grabs.

Yet, included in the money raised last weekend was a $25,000 donation by Dodger pitcher Hiroki Kuroda, $25,000 from commissioner Bud Selig on behalf of Major League Baseball, and $1,000 each from former Dodgers Don Newcombe and Eric Karros.

Which suggests that, from everything coming in from the fans' side, the number was closer to $188,000.

Again, a nobel effort. But in the grand cause of things, does that really sound like something that could be easily generated from a team that attracts more than 3 1/2 million fans to the stadium each season? If you do the math there, what does that average out to -- less than a couple of dimes each person in the bucket?

What if the Dodgers had asked everyone who showed up to last Wednesday night's home game, when they gave out Matt Kemp bobbleheads, to simply donate $5 a pop.

That would have raised more than $250,000 right there.

Manny Ramirez could shake $200,000 out of his sliding shorts.

According to the team, ThinkCure has generated $2.5 million since 2007. But most of that came from $1 million raised (from the sale of more than 115,000 tickets) when the Dodgers played the Red Sox in an exhibition game at the Coliseum in March, 2008; the McCourt family then matched that to make it to $2 million. The other $500,000 has come mostly from the first two fundraisers.

Granted, $240,000 in donations for any cause these days is nothing to return in these economic times. It's a 44 percent increase from last year -- which looks great after having lower expectations.

Maybe these Dodger fans aren't plugged into the concept yet. Maybe they don't think auctions are things they are things they're used to participating in -- people who've never tried one can find it intimidating, even if folks are more eBay savvy now. Those are the folks who are used to raising money through car washes and bake sales.

Maybe the problem is there isn't enough real publicity reaching the fans on this to make it a "must-participate" event yet?

But considering all the publicity it had, what can it be compared to?

Since the McCourt family wants ThinkCure to be for the Dodgers what The Jimmy Fund (linked here) has been for the Boston Red Sox, let's examine that.

Launched in 1948, The Jimmy Fund has raised more than $500 million over the last 60 years for new cancer treatment. The Red Sox came on board in 1953, with the help of Ted Williams acting as the focal point of raising money.

There is a radio/TV fundraiser component that the Red Sox have use with The Jimmy Fund since 2002. From that, it has raised more than $15 million (linked here)/ The 36-hour event that began Thursday and ends today will likely match the $4.8 million that it brought in from 2008.

This year's goal: $5 million.

Not $200,000, but $5 million.

Yes, it has about a six-decade head start. Everyone on the East Coast and beyond knows about the Jimmy Fund. There's a statue outside Fenway Park honoring it. But you don't raise $5 million without some muscle and star power behind the cause, either.

The Jimmy Fund also has gone far beyond the radio/TV telethon aspect. It has a fund-raising walk, a bike race, an ice cream eating event, a golf tournament, and, maybe the coolest thing, a John Hancock-sponsored event where fans get a chance to hit a ball over the Green Monster at Fenway Park.

The Dodgers haven't done any of those things yet. In two years, they've done only the fund raisers through media saturation. There is plenty of time ahead to implement more to the efforts. A slow launch is probably what the team's goal is to this point. Still, having been involved in fund raisers on a local level over the last few years, a $200,000 goal really isn't that difficult to achieve if you put your resources (and Hollywood) behind it.

So, again, to try to put things into perspective, $240,000 is it's a nice chunk of funding that will help in many ways with the two charities involved. But with some context, there seems to be a lot of chest thumping over an amount that is hardly all that groundbreaking.

Everyone who benefits from the grants written from this amount are thankful. But don't you think there should have been more to this -- not just from donations, but from former big-name Dodgers stepping forward, like Karros and Newcomb.

We wish the ThinkCure luck in its future endeavors for a very worthy cause. We will continue to donate as well. It's just that it seems they're selling themselves short.

UPDATE:
Friday, the L.A. Kings announced that their Kings Care Foundation will make a donation of $500,000 to the Blood Donor Center at Childrens Hospital Los Angeles.

LA Kings BloodMobilewill serve as a blood drive supply truck to increase the much needed collection of life-saving blood for the most seriously ill and injured children at Childrens Hospital Los Angeles.

The Kings support of Childrens Hospital Los Angeles dates back nearly a decade. Every season, the team makes a holiday visit to the hospital and last year the Kings also participated in the MyFM Radiothon at CHLA, answering phone calls and taking donations during the radiothon while also contributing $10,000 to the cause.

A horse named Twodollarstowin was entered in the fourth race at Del Mar today, a $10,000 claimer.

It went off at 9-2.

It won.

With Joe Talamo aboard, it paid actually $17.20 to win, $9 to place and $6.60 to show.

According to its pedigree (linked here), it had only won once in seven previous races.

Still ...

Red Barber does an interview with Dodgers manager Leo Durocher on camera before the first televised major league game on Aug. 26, 1939.

It was on W2XBS, later known as WNBC, where Red Barber called the Brooklyn Dodgers-Cincinnati Reds doubleheader on Saturday, August 26, 1939 from Ebbets Field -- the first major-league baseball TV broadcast..

The Reds won the first, 5-2 while the Dodgers won the second, 6-1 (link to Retrosheet.org), and Barber did them both without the benefit of a monitor and with only two cameras capturing the action.

One camera was on Barber from ground level; the other was behind the plate in the upper deck. Barber had to guess from which light was on and where it pointed because he had no monitor and commication with NBC director Burke Crotty went out early in the game. Barber sat in an upper deck seat behind third base.

Televising both games, plus the 20 minutes in between, took only about four hours. The first game went 1 hour, 46 minutes. The second was 2 hours and 1 minute.

According to the book, "1939: Baseball's Tipping Point" by Talmage Boston, Barber started his career with the Dodgers that year, coming to the team from Cincinnati with team president Larry MacPhail. MacPhail offered Barber $9,000 to come to Brooklyn with him; the Reds offered him $18,000 to stay.

Barber knew he could sell McPhail on getting to be the first to televise a game.

"In being around Larry MacPhail, it became rapidly apparent to me that one of the things he dearly loved was to be first," Barber wrote in his autobiography, "Rhubarb." "So it was obvious to me that if you wanted to get him to do something, all you had to do was show him how he could be first in it."

Boston's book points out that Barber had to ad-lib three live commercials, one for each Dodger sponsor. For Proctor & Gamble, he held up a bar of Ivory Soap. For General Mills, he poured Wheaties into a bowl, sliced a banana and poured milk on top, proclaming, "Now that's the breakfast of champions." For Socony, Barber put on a Mobile gas station cap and raised a can of oil.

"There was not a cue card in sight," Barber said.

Imagine Vin Scully doing any of that today.

Most were only able to watch them at the RCA Pavilion at the 1939 Worlds Fair and the RCA Building at Rockefeller Center in midtown Manhattan, on 9x12 inch TV screens.

According to former New York Times reporter Gordon White (linked here), NBC claimed that TV viewers as far away as 50 miles from the Empire State Building could see the game. But then how many TV sets were there in Nyack, NY, or Red Bank, NJ, in 1939?

The Sporting News reported in its Aug. 31, 1939 issue, becoming the first TV sports critic: "The players were clearly distinguisable, but it was not possible to pick out the ball. The close-up images left a much better impression than did the general view of the field."

Was it a success? MacPhail wanted more, and starting with the 1940 season he arranged for at least one game a week on TV.

Three months earlier, the first televised baseball game -- between Princeton and Columbia, on May 17 -- was carried at the World's Fair in New York, also on W2XBS.

== UPDATE:
Our favorite researcher, David Schwartz at the Game Show Network, tracked down the New York Times archives reports on the game coverage.

In a six paragraph preview on Aug. 26, the story says in the deck headline that "Hamlin, Casey to Face Reds -- Games to Be Televised -- Giants Also Play Two" ... and it mentions at the end of the fourth paragraph: "Adding significance to the occasion is the fact that the double feature will mark the first time in major league history that a ball game has been televised. Both games are to be carried by television by NBC."

In a three paragraph followup on Aug. 27:

GAMES ARE TELEVISED
Major League Baseball Makes Its
Radio Camera Debut

Major league baseball made its television debut here yesterday as the Dodgers and Reds battled through two games at Ebbets Field before two prying electrical "eyes" of station W2XBS in the Empire State Building. One "eye" or camera was placed near the visiting players' dugout, or behind the right-hand batters' position. The other was in a second-tier box back of the catcher's box and commanded an extensive view of the field when outfield plays were made.

Over the video-sound channels of the station, television-set owners as far away as fifth miles viewed the action an dheard the roar of the crowed, according to the National Broadcasting Company.

It was not the first time baseball was televised by NBC. Last May at Baker Field, a game between Columbia and Princeton was caught by the cameras. However, to those who, over the television receivers, saw last May's contest as well as those yesterday, it was apparent that considerable progress has been made in the technical requirements and apparatus for this sort of outdoor pick-up, where the action is fast. At times it was possible to catch a fleeting glimpse of the ball as it sped from the pitcher's hand toward home plate.

== More info on Gene Elston's blog (linked here).

UPDATED Tuesday AM with ticket information:

ESPN is calling it a test -- an attempt on Sept. 12 to carry USC's football game at Ohio State in 3D, and making it available to some so-called lucky folks around the country.

While ESPN carries the 5 p.m. contest in standard def, and ESPN HD has the high definition coverage, the network wants to try out its 3D production capabilites with a "special telecast" that will have separate production trucks, technical crews and on-air commentators.

The Galen Center across the street from the USC campus will have the 3D production but count on finding tickets so easy. They say the only way to get them is winning them through KSPN-AM (710). Spectators in Columbus, Ohio and Dallas will also have to win them as well through local ESPN radio affiliates.

UPDATE:
According to the USCTrojans.com website (linked here), free tickets are available at:

-- This Saturday's intrasquad scrimmage at the Coliseum (pick up inside Gate 4 from noon to 3 p.m.)

-- The Sept. 5 home game against San Jose State (pick up at Fanfest outside the Coliseum peristyle prior to the 12:30 p.m. kickoff);

-- The Sept. 3 and 4 USC women's volleyball matches at the Galen Center (pick up at the box office from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m.);

-- Heritage Hall (pick up is from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. weekdays);

-- The USC Ticket Office (from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. weekdays).

Having seen the NFL's test of a 3D telecast last year when the Raiders played at San Diego, ESPN's crew can hopefully learn from their mistakes. A football field, for starters, doesn't lend itself nicely to 3D cameras, which are best when on the ground. Which makes shots of the cheerleaders about the only thing worth watching. When the cameras are high in standard positions, the 3D effect is hardly noticable. When the camera is low in the end zone or on sideline level -- and, in the NFL's test, with no graphics other than score and clock -- you have no idea how many yards players actually pick up (or lose) on a play.

ESPN says it will use a true stereoscopic graphics and seven 3D cameras (with access to 2D cameras)

That said, the 3D telecast will also use Mark Jones and Bob Davie on the call (versus Brent Musburger and Kirk Herbstreit on the "regular" telecast).

This will be ESPN's first 3D telecast distributed after more than two years of testing. The new movie, "X Games 3D: The Movie" is currently in many theatres this week only.

"With more than two years of rigorous 3D research at various game sites, ESPN is taking the opportunity to integrate 3D testing in a live game telecast," said Anthony Bailey, vice president, emerging technologies, ESPN. "The results of this research will enable ESPN to quantify what it takes to produce, transmit and enable the 3D experience for our fans."

In addition to the piece we've had in today's newspaper editions (linked here), we also came across:

== Mike Schmidt's plea to free Pete (linked here).
== Yahoo! Sports' acknowlegement of the day (linked here), which includes Rose's son going to bat for his dad (linked here).
== ESPN's Jayson Stark believes there'll never be a Pete Rose induction day (linked here)
== Support from Hank Aaron (linked here)
== Go ahead and cast your own votes (linked here)

And some of the emails I've received so far (in addition to comments made on the story's website link) include:

== I understand the commissioner's stand on Pete Rose/betting on baseball. It may seem harsh, but if you don't want active players, etc. to bet on baseball you have to have a firm stand. However, the steroid issue seems to indicate that MLB has a double standard. To be consistent, you need a (perhaps harsh, but) firm stand on illegal substance abuse, and here's why. If steroid use is not treated as harshly as betting, more damage is done! Young players all over the baseball world are watching, and your message is: "Bet on baseball and you're out. Use harmful drugs, you get a slap on the wrist!" ... Restore baseball to its honorable position by promoting real heroes as role models! You lost me when Willie Mays retired. I returned. You lost me again with Pete Rose. I returned. You lost me again with the strike. I returned. If you don't handle this steroid mess with courage and steadfastness for what is right, I'm gone, and I think many other would be fans are gone with me. ... I'm really fed up with the hypocrisy. Either restore Pete Rose (slap on the wrist) and continue the current steroid stand, or treat it with firmness. I feel bad for Pete-in spite of his bad PR moves, but this steroid thing is potentially much more harmful if it's not dealt with harshly.
== Dave Kachele

==The Hall of Fame is a sham without Pete Rose. Twenty years is a long time to be punished for gambling. Now before you say anything, let me be clear, I do not gamble. You seem to think that Pete should continue to be punished because he makes a living signing baseballs and shirts? People want his autograph, plain and simple. I grew up rooting against the man because he was on the wrong team, but man oh man, did he light it up. He always gave his all and more. His records speak for themselves. .. Are they going to refuse entry to the Hall of Fame to all of the steroid users? Pete's accomplishments on the field as a ball player earned him his place in the Hall of Fame. The people in charge of keeping Pete out of the Hall have gone way over board.
== Michael Rescigno

==I am not a baseball fan, but one cannot ignore the saga of Pete Rose. After all, I am only 85 years old....and a woman at that! I learned very early in life that "forgiveness" is something that we should all contemplate and mete out to fit the situation. I have seen in recent news items about the release of a monster who caused the deaths of an airplane full of human souls; the football hero who tormented and brutally slaughtered his dogs who didn't please his lust for watching dogs fight to the death; a man who killed his mother many years ago is released from prison on the grounds that his attorney did not defend him properly ... Now, please tell us again what a lifetime sentence means and how often is it carried out. I am not a Pete Rose fan, but when is enough enough? Or do you like the false "Mea Culpa" speeches that are required for the current form of forgiveness.
== Frances Nelson

== Obviously, Pete betting on baseball was completely foolish, but after 20 years he should be forgiven. The fact that there is no evidence that he bet against the team he managed does not put him in the same category of the 1919 Black Sox. The lifetime ban punishment was intended for those who would purposely lose games like the Black Sox. I do not believe you are truly being objective in your criticism of Pete in the past 20 years. Pete is currently serving a lifetime ban from baseball. Every time Pete has applied for reinstatement the commissioners have not acted. How do you expect Pete to make a living if he is not allowed back into baseball? Don't you think many of his actions that you call PR disasters are a result of him trying to make a living? I understand that Pete brought all of this on himself, but 20 years is enough. When baseball allows people like Steve Howe, Strawberry, and Gooden numerous second chances; I think it is time to let Pete back into baseball. Even if Pete is reinstated there are no guarantees that he would be hired or elected into the Hall of Fame. We are all human, we all make mistakes, but some of us have to pay a higher price for our wrong doings. Pete has had to make a living during his ban. However, it is journalist like you that make Pete larger than life by continuing to vilify him. I guess, like Pete, you have to make a living too.
== Michael Godoy

With our take on the 20th anniversary of Pete Rose's lifetime banishment from commissioner Bart Giamatti (linked here), the Associated Press distributed this over the weekend, giving Mike Schmidt a chance to give his crack. Expect the "Free Rose" T-shirts soon. In 2002, Schmidt accompanied Rose to a meeting with commissioner Bud Selig. Obviously, that went well:

It's been 20 years since Pete Rose was banned for life from baseball by then-commissioner Bart Giamatti. Recently the subject came back to life, recycling the same old issues, without attention to some interesting elements that should be mentioned on the 20th anniversary.
An interesting question was posed to me in a recent interview: Do you think things would have been different if Mr. Giamatti was still alive?
Bart Giamatti, the commissioner on duty in 1989, was in possession of strong evidence that Pete had indeed placed bets on his team. Pete insisted he was being set up and that it could not be factually proven.
Armed with secret information from an in-depth investigation, Giamatti diplomatically offered Pete a deal -- if Pete would agree to a lifetime ban, baseball would not expose its evidence and Pete could go away quietly.
First, from Pete's perspective as one of baseball's superstars, almost to the point of believing he could beat anything from a traffic ticket to armed robbery, he saw that the agreement offered him an out, the right to apply for reinstatement every year. Why else would he have signed it, why else would he agree to a lifetime ban under any circumstances?
Yes, you, I, and he know he was living a lie at the time. But assuming that burden would eventually get too heavy for him, and then he could appeal to Giamatti. From my perspective looking back, Giamatti was a compassionate man who would have eventually met with him, laid out a lifestyle plan that Pete would follow, and today he'd be a forgiven member of baseball's family. Sounds simple, and it could have been with the right people driving it, led by Giamatti.
From baseball's perspective, putting this to bed was paramount. No telling what would
ensue if it was to dig deeper. Arguably its biggest star compromised the integrity of the game. The guy that made the sprint to first on a walk, the headfirst slide, the leader of the Big Red Machine, the '80 Phillies, he played in more winning games than any player in history, he was the all-time hits leader, one of the biggest faces in baseball, and he was now considered a baseball outcast. How dare anyone test the poster hanging on the clubhouse wall, the one warning against gambling? This needed to go away, and it seemed like Mr. Giamatti had a good plan.

No one, however, anticipated the untimely passing of commissioner Giamatti, especially Pete. Before Pete could ever meet with him, appeal to him, come clean and apply for reinstatement, Mr. Giamatti passed away from a heart attack. Baseball lost a great ambassador for sure, and as unimportant as it was at the time, Pete's fate now was in the hands of his successor, Fay Vincent.
Vincent was close to Giamatti and felt Pete's case helped apply immense stress and was a factor in his friend's death. Vincent subsequently upheld the ban with even more fervor. Enter Bud Selig, another passionate baseball man, who inherited the Rose case, and for years refused to take calls on the subject. It was always "under advisement."
OK, we all know the story from here on. Pete admitted to Selig he lied and asked for forgiveness, baseball was slow to act, Pete's book came out early and stepped on the Hall of Fame unveiling of Paul Molitor and Dennis Eckersley in early 2004, and the private admission to Selig went public via the book, not from the commissioner's office. To Bud Selig, it reeked of sleaze and money, and that image has never left his brain.
Pete's attempt to appeal and apply after 14 years initially seemed to be a success. However, as time went on, it was bungled from all sides. Pete remains in baseball purgatory.
Now you're current, so here's my first question: Did Pete Rose, in fact, knowingly compromise the integrity of baseball? And second, did/do the players who used steroids knowingly compromise the integrity of baseball?
Pete bet on the Reds to win, never to lose. He never managed with the intention of not winning. Do you believe for one second the gambling underworld was tuned into Pete's betting habits? Pete never bet big or long enough to sway the gambling line. This has all been dressing to make it clear where gambling can lead. I'm not trying to say it's not serious -- it is -- but I'm asking you to compare its impact on the game to steroid use.
Steroid players knowingly ingested chemicals that gave them an unfair advantage over clean players. Not only were they compromising the game's integrity, they were jeopardizing the long term for short-term financial gain, confusing baseball history. And, oh yes, some might've broken the law.
Pete bet on his team to win and has been banished from baseball for life. Manny Ramirez, Alex Rodriguez et al, bet that they would get bigger, stronger and have a distinct advantage over everyone and that they wouldn't get caught. Which is worse? Does the penalty fit the crime?
Pete's banned for life, he sells his autograph to pay bills. Ramirez and his cronies apologize, are forgiven and get $20 million a year. They giggle all the way to the bank and could end up in the Hall of Fame. Is this the way Bart Giamatti would have wanted it 20 years later?
Recently, Pete's case was given a new life by the great Hank Aaron, who said Pete had served a sufficient penalty time, deserved to be reinstated and considered for the Hall. All of us thought this was a new life for Pete, as Aaron is close to commissioner Selig and could sway fellow members.
Not so, as Mr. Selig went back to his favorite "under advisement" stance. He has his reasons, which I may disagree with but respect.
Even if Pete were to get by the commissioner, I feel it would take serious massaging of the members by Aaron, Joe Morgan and myself to get him the needed 75 percent quorum on a vote of Hall of Famers for election, and that may not be enough.
Pete is Pete and always will be. To know him is to love him. He has a wonderful heart, but has never adjusted his lifestyle to the degree needed to impress the current administration. No one would disagree with that, but everyone must consider baseball's inconsistency in dealing with those players who have compromised the game.
Twenty years have passed, isn't that enough?

Following up on today's story on Hermosa Beach's Tom Horton (linked here) on the "Paddling for Peacha with Sharks" event:

Pecha Horton spent 25 years as a third-grade teacher and was enjoying her life in retirement with your four grandkids before she started to have problems speaking. One day, she couldn't muster the strength to take the keys out of her car's ignition. Doctors thought it might have been a stroke, but they couldn't be sure. Finally, the muscles that quickly wore her down were diagnosed as ALS, but her quality of life had already deteriorated to a point where she died within months of the acknowledgement of the disease. She was 77.

Peacha, Tom's mother, is the focus of his fund-raising endeavor at the Catalina Classic Paddleboard Race coming up on Sunday, Aug. 30, where 100-some competitors will navigate through hand-numbing water temperatures, unpredictable ocean currents and not-so-swell swells can add or subtract two hours of paddling to their race time, depending on the conditions.

As for that part about the sharks . . .

"Last year during the race, there was a confirmed sighting of a Mako," said Horton, accustomed to dodging schools of dolphins or cutting through the waves created by cargo ships. "There's a lot of chatter about great white sightings, but it just adds to the anticipation. I think about it, but since we have escort boats for every paddleboarder, I don't worry about it."

Again, to donate directly to Tom's cause, go to his website (linked here).

Hermosa Beach's Tom Horton launches from the Catalina Island ithsmus a week from Sunday -- Aug. 30, 6:30 a.m. sharp -- for a 32-mile paddle across the frigid Pacific in hopes of reaching the Manhattan Beach pier before the other 100 or so competitors.

But he's got more on his mind than just the scenic trip.

His muscle memory will get him through most of it, but the memory of his mother, Peacha, battling through ALS -- Lou Gehrig's disease -- will push him even farther. Horton has committed to raising $50,000 for the Agoura Hills-based ALS Association (linked here), serving the greater L.A. region, in his mother's honor.

We talk to the 50-year-old regional account director for Genzyme's Genetics division about his preparation for the Catalina Classic Paddleboard Race (linked here), and about how you can contribute to his cause (linked here).

Some other statistics about ALC to think about before you find this story:

== ALS stands for amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, a progressive, a neurodegenerative disease for which there is no cure.

== Most people survive only 2-5 years from the time of diagnosis.

== The only drug for ALS was approved by the FDA, it is called Rilutek. Riluzole is the generic name for Rillutek. It extends life by approximately three months.

== About 30,000 people in the U.S. have ALS; 5,600 are diagnosed each year and 5,600 pass away each year.

Here's a shot of Horton with his paddleboard pals, "The Donkey Crew," after last year's race (Tom is third from the left in the front row):

A two-week window to catch up on what seems to be important in the media world before the real shittake mushrooms hit the fan when football straps it on in a week or so (realizing that a week of vacation doesn't mean there's more stuff to include in a media notes column, but far more to exclude):

== How does the SEC intend to inforce those who blog or tweet at their events live ... also known as: distributing photographs or video of its games in real time for commercial use? (linked here)

== The Tennis Channel and Cablevision have a problem now (linked here), which the NFL Network has no intention of helping mediate.

== Versus' upcoming 54-game NHL regular season schedule has the Kings and Ducks ... wait for it .... still looking ... a combined one time. .... and it's not Anaheim. (linked here). And NBC kicks in with ... ziltch (linked here).

== There's more soccer on TV ... yet Jay Glazer is only upset with how ESPN is mocking him (linked here) and (linked here) and (linked here).

== The New York Jets want players to tweet ... isn't that sweet (linked here)

== New ESPN.com ombudsman Don Ohlmeyer has learned how to sign on to his computer (linked here).

== Nicole Manske ... enough said (linked here).

== Are the Cincinnati Bengals keeping up their end of the bargain with HBO's "Hard Knocks" series (linked here).

== John Madden is still retired, although he says it really hasn't started ... not when you're having a room with nine 63-inch monitors installed. (linked here)

== ESPN's Jamelle Hill has another "moment" to reflect (linked here)

== How do you gauge if your blog is a "hot sports site"? (linked here) Aside from asking us -- and no, we don't really see it.

== Rick Chandler at SportsByBrooks.com has an answer to the "Shaq Vs." theft protection story -- it involves Kardashians swinging from monkey bars. (linked here).

== AND FINALLY:

== David Letterman's Top 10 list related to Brett Favre's return (not presented by Britney Spears, or Erin Andrews, in a bikini):

Peter Edward "Charlie Hustle" Rose, Jr.

The inglourious basterd of baseball.

Monday marks the 20th anniversary of baseball commissioner Bart Giamatti making Pete Rose both a major-league martyr and a scorned hero. Rose gambled, and lost, that he could convince those in charge that he deserved all the benefits, and benefits of the doubt, that come in a post-Hall of Fame career -- just without the induction ceremony.

On Aug. 24, 1989, Rose didn't rise to the occasion. The bloom came off with a loud boom. The all-time hit king, as he signs baseballs, managed to ruin his reputation and soil the game's dignity while a Cincinnati Reds manager, betting on games according to a Giamatti investigation.

For 15 years, Rose denied it. In 2004, on the eve of the Hall of Fame induction ceremony, he came out with a book with a bright red cover called "My Prison Without Bars" and admitted, yes, he made some bets. Daily bets, in fact. On his team. To win. Isn't that proof that he was committed to excellence?

(Think of it this way -- every big-league team is going to win 50 games and lose 50 games. It's what happens in the other 62 that can make someone rich. Or poor. Or break even).

ESPN plans an "Outside The Lines" perspective of this anniversary with a Sunday episode that focuses on how three people -- Fay Vincent, Joe Morgan and Mike Schmidt -- perceive Rose's place in history, past, present and future.

"I think he's been punished enough, 20 years is a long time," says Morgan, Rose' longtime teammate with the Reds and Phillies, since admitted to the Hall. "People go to jail, get out and get on with their lives."

"That's not the issue," says Vincent, who succeeded Giamatti as commmissioner. "If you're the commissioner, do you want to loosen the anti-gambling sanction and deterent? It's not about Pete Rose, it's about gambling in baseball ... I do not think there is a chance in hell that Bud Selig will reinstate Pete Rose. I hope I'm right."

If only Pete Rose had killed someone. Or taken drugs. Or ... started a mission to the Dominican Republic each year to bring food and supplies to those in need.

There are frequent Rose sightings around Cooperstown every summer, where he finds a baseball jersey shop, sets up a card table, and scribbles autographs (for a price) to anyone who wants him closer to their heart.

He also sells stuff on his website (peterose.com). A baseball signed "I'm sorry I bet on baseball" goes for $279 (linked here). A long-sleve white T-shirt with a silk screen of his signature that says the same thing can be had (linked here) for $24.95. But sizes L, XL and XXL are sold out. There only available in sizes that women under 5-feet tall or kids who have no idea who he is could wear.

OK, we'll take the gray hooded sweatshirt instead (linked here) for $45. What, no XL? Forget it.

There are so many contradictions on his site -- kind of like him. You can also buy an autographed copy of a Rose Sports Illustrated cover -- but it's from 1988, when he got a 30-game suspension for shoving an umpire (linked here). Most collectors probably didn't even remember that cover. Now they do. Now they may want it. And Pete can get it for them, for $175.

For the same price, there's a 1999 SI cover (linked here) that has an excerpt from an interview of someone ratting him out. That's something you want on your wall of fame?

Yes, right next to the deluxe framed 2004 SI cover (linked here) with the headline: "Pete Rose's Confession," which sells for $350.

Can he (or his handlers) get any dumber?

Yes.

There are frequent Rose signings in, of all places, Las Vegas. He's there every weekend and advertises this on his site (linked here). At the Forums Shopping Center at Caesars Palace. It's in concert with "America's Handicapper" Wayne Allyn Root's "Winning Edge" TV show on Saturdays.

There are also frequent Rose signings around the San Fernando Valley. With his second family, Rose is the father of two recent Notre Dame High of Sherman Oaks graduates (one, an actress going by the name Chea Courtney). He has (or had) a $1 million condo on Chandler Blvd., in Sherman Oaks, which the IRS put a tax lien upon in '04. There's also reports that he's in a 4,700-square foot, six-bed and five-bath home in the same area.

Does anyone really want to talk to Pete Rose these days? What's to gain from it?

For the next 20 years, will there be a re-Pete performance -- two more decades of a strange way of begging for forgiveness, followed by some stupid appearance somewhere the puts him in a bad light? Please, not a WWE cameo. Or a Home Shopping Network hawking.

Last time we tried to track him down, it was at least five years ago at, of all place, the Hollywood Park Casino. He was there for a big collectors' show, signing balls and photos and bats and arms. He refused to be interviewed when we wanted to ask -- why in the world, if you're trying to get back in the game, are you at a gambling facility?

Last month, the New York Daily News ran a blind item, citing no sources, that Selig was "seriously considering" lifting Rose's lifetime ban. Selig came out a day later vehemently denying that was the case.

Today's USA Today tries to make a case that you, the fans, think steroid use is a far greater sin than gambling, so Rose's current situation is ridiculous (linked here).

We're actually going to try to do Pete Rose a favor -- we're not going to try to talk to him about this whole anniversary thing. The player who Sparky Anderson said was "the best thing that happened to the game since ... the game" is best not grant any interviews this weekend. Lay low. Keep your cleat out of your mouth. Don't inflame the situation.

Wanna bet that doesn't happen?

It was actually "Beg, Borrow and Deal," (still linked here) a sort of a scavenger hunt where teams had to complete a list of sports-related stuff in an "The Amazing Race" sort of frenetic pace and then appear to host Rich Eisen (circa 2002 and '03) with their bounty at the end to claim their prize.

If it was called "Beg, Borrow or Steal," then maybe there would have been some copyright infringement on a phrase that everyone uses (talk to Pat Riley about how that works). Or, the creative twist was that, since everyone knew that the word "steal" was implied in the title, they changed it to "deal" because . . . what does it matter, the show only lasted parts of two years.

Eisen, by the way, has a prized possession arrive in L.A. this week (linked here), but that's a whole other messy topic. The only begging he's had to do was explain to his current spouse why this former workmate once sent him photos of her in skimpy clothing.

The topic we'd like to embolden ourselves with -- is "Shaq Vs." (linked here) really his reality idea? Or course it's not. So who really came up with the plan for this "fish out of water" scenario -- the pro athlete competes against another pro athlete in their sport? Stevie Nash? Todd Gallagher? David, from the Old Testament?

Our column today (linked here) has more context.

For the record, this email came in this morning from a New York talent agency, asking if we could include this information:

"Steve is a good guy and was a fantastic teammate. He has made great contributions as an Executive Producer on "Shaq Vs. and we are all excited about the show," said Shaquille O'Neal.

As Steve Nash told the Arizona Republic: "We collaborated on parts of the show," he said. "I support him 100 percent. I thought the first episode was a fantastic episode, and I can't wait for the next one."

Sure, that'll fly.

By the way, Petros Papadakis was in the running to host this charade. Mike Goldberg, who's been involved in pro beach volleyball broadcasting, got the job as the host, with Pat Tomasulo and sideline candy Charissa Thompson.

Todd Gallagher, when contacted about his involvement in a lawsuit claiming some credit for this show's idea, had no comment, but we also found this unsourced story on TMZ.com (linked here) that gives more background.

More media stuff to borrow from other sources that can be presented as original material:

== Bob Costas has a sit-down with Jim Bouton airing on the MLB Network (Sunday, 5 p.m.) that gets into the near 40th anniversary of his book, "Ball Four." Bouton says on why he wrote it: "I really wanted to share the fun in baseball. That was my purpose for writing it. It wasn't really a tell-all book. I didn't have racial comments, all the sexy stories are anonymous. It really was a great environment to be part of, a Major League Baseball team. I got lucky, I was with the right bunch of guys and I kept good notes. ... (1970) was a time in our history where people were questioning things, questioning authority, doing things in different ways. You had the Vietnam War, you had men landing on the moon that year, and it [the Seattle Pilots] was a wonderful team. It was an expansion team, the Seattle Pilots. These guys were getting to know each other because they haven't played with each other. They were always telling stories about their careers and I was sitting there with my notepad."

A Q-and-A we did with Bouton recently (linked here).

== When ABC/ESPN/ESPN2 launches its Little League World Series coverage today, check out "reporter" Moises Arias. With Brent Musburger and Orel Hershiser doing the main-game action, the 15-year-old Arias is an actor who, according to the press release, plays "the popular 'Rico' character on Disney's 'Hannah Montana' show." And he was in "Nacho Libre." And he used to attend grade school in Sherman Oaks.
And he stars in an upcoming movie, "The Perfect Game," about a team from Mexico that became the first non-U.S. squad to win the Little League World Series in 1957. The film was supposed to have come out by now, but the studio (LionsGate) has pushed it back for some mysterous reasons - maybe because it's obvious that kids these days aren't interested in watching anything Little League-related in August.
All 32 games of the tourney will be on either ESPN2, ESPN or ABC, starting with four games today and five Saturday (the U.S. team from the West is represented by Chula Vista).
And by the way, the official name is now "The Little League World Series Presented by Kellogg's Frosted Flakes Reduced Sugar." Moms will be happier with that. The final is Sunday, Aug. 30 at noon.

== The MLB.TV offers the rest of the regular season live or in demand for $34.95 (go to this link for more info).

== Versus starts a Tuesday night sports business show hosted by Rick Horrow called "The $ports Take," starting next week (various times, including 3:30 p.m., repeated at 1 p.m. on Wednesday) and sandwiched around stuff like "Wacked Out Sports," "Sports Soup" and "Fanarchy." Episode one includes Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones showing off his new stadium.

== NBC's post-Madden existence as an NFL broadcaster will go to at least 2013, and then we'll see what's worth what.
The network's decision to extend its NFL deal two more years and continue the Sunday Night package (with the 2012 Super Bowl), the opening night event and the wildcard weekend means the Peacock is in line with CBS, Fox, ESPN and DirecTV -- all will expire in 2013 -- and NBC will be paying about $600 million a year, same as Fox and CBS.
The most important part of this deal could be NBC's ability to continue streaming all of its Sunday night games on NBCSports.com and NFL.com, adding four other camera angles and giving users the ability to pause, rewind and slow the speed of the video.
It can only open the door for the NFL to do similiar things with its other broadcast partners -- and make the product easier accessable to all, as if it already isn't.

== AND FINALLY:

Boston.com

== Boston Red Sox analyst Jerry Remy returns to NESN coverage of the team's games starting with tonight's game against the Yankees at Fenway Park.
The 56-year-old former Angels second baseman ('75-'77) who became an All-Star with the Red Sox in his first year with the team ('78) and stuck around until '84, took a leave of absence in late May to recover from cancer surgery and a battle with depression.
Remy told the Boston Globe that he was glad he was able to do a pregame show last Wednesday before returning to the booth tonight.
"To get all this personal stuff out of the way I think was a great thing for me last week. But it is a little bit uncomfortable. You know I'm not a player, I'm just a broadcaster. To have that much attention put on you it means people care about you."
Remy began broadcasting Red Sox games for NESN in 1988.

Meanwhile, 63-year-old Nick Charles, the former CNN sports anchor and current Showtime boxing analyst (since 2001) is taking time off for treatment of stage four urothelial carcinoma, or bladder cancer. He started treatment last week at the University of Texas. "Like a fighter, just give me one round at a time and I'll eventually win," he said in a statement. "I have a positive attitude, a strong Christian faith, and an amazing support system especially within the boxing family." Charles has a wife, Cory, a 3-year-old daughter, Giovanna, and three grown children from a previous marriage. Contact Charles at nickboxing@gmail.com.

AP Photo/Chris Pizzello
Albert Pujols breaks his bat on a ground out to second base during the fourth inning of Tuesday's Cardinals-Dodgers game at Dodger Stadium on Tuesday.

The headline was across the top of the USA Today sports section on Aug. 4: "Baseball is getting a grip on broken bats" (linked here).

The story contends that, according to MLB research, incidence of bats breaking into multiple pieces in 2009 is so far down 30 percent from last year.

"We're still trying to reduce it even further and we are pleased with the results thus far based," said Dan Halem, the MLB senior VP and general counsel. "We're not done yet."

Bats busting up like balsa wood aren't done yet, either. You see the last two nights of Dodger games?

The photo above of what Albert Pujols did in Tuesday's game. Later, when the Dodgers' Orlando Hudson was grounding out to end the seventh inning, the ball went back to the pitcher, but his broken bat nearly took out second base umpire Adrian Johnson, who ran to avoid getting smacked. The shot on the TV screen before the commercial was of the barrel of the bat sitting in shallow center field.

On Wednesday, the Dodgers' Manny Ramirez shattered his bat in at least five pieces as Cardinals reliever Ryan Franklin jammed him inside. The grounder to short became an adventure for Brendan Ryan, who first had to sidestep the spinning barrel, field the grounder, and throw Ramirez out at first -- but miss a shot at trying to start a double play. He lost a chance of trying to get the far easier putout on Andre Either, which put the game's tying run at second base. That, in effect, could have changed the outcome of the game (the next two hitters failed to bring him in and the game ended with a 3-2 loss).

In the same USA Today story above, it points out that the sale of maple bats has dropped from 52 percent to 45 percent this season, as far as Louisville Sluggers go. Braves catcher Brian McCann, who still uses maple, responded to the stat that broken bats are down 30 percent this year: "I disagree. They might be down, but I don't know about being down 30 percent. There still seems to be a lot of bats flying around."

Seems to be correct.

Seems like no matter what they've told players to do -- put the label up, stop ordering sticks with thin handles, cut back on maple -- it's not that impressive of a decrease.

You've decreased, perhaps, the chances of someone getting seriously injured -- again -- by a flying shard. But you haven't eliminated it.

And that seems unacceptable.

No, it is unacceptable.

AP Photo/Ben Margot
The White Sox's Paul Konerko shatters his bat on a pitch from Oakland Athletics' Gio Gonzalez in the third inning of a game on Aug. 15.

== More stories recently:
== A sidebar to the USA Today on the bat manufacturers (linked here)
== Another USA Today piece on how bats are made according to player specs (linked here)
== Another follow up on the development of the Radial Bat (linked here)

Or, by her short(ish) skirt.

Or by her voice...

She did know that Mr. Obama was the gentleman on the far right:

What's Erin Andrews' next move? It's already been made by, and for, her.

So now, who's more at fault, the aspiring ESPN sideline reporter for dressing up for the GQ cameras back in April for a spread that has been released in the September issue (check out the sideline-friendly shoes)?

Or the magazine editors, for capitalizing on publishing them at a strange time in her existence?

Or us, for being among those that has chosen to even mention their existence. Now that they're part of the media circulation, we can't really ignore 'em, right?

Then why do we feel more dirty than Ms. Andrews at this moment?

It's still pretty fresh in our minds, hearts and adrenal glands -- the story less than a month ago coming out that she'd been secretly videotaped through the peephole of a hotel room undressing, and then it being released on the Internet before ESPN stepped in (as did Andrews' lawyers) with threats of big-time punishment.

Andrews has also has had to call 911 to get some "a&&holes" parked in a car outside her house to go away because, as she told the operator, and we're paraphrasing, she's suddenly become a sports version of freakin' Brittney Spears.

Andrews has been laying low the last few weeks, awaiting her first assignment on ESPN's college football coverage, set to launch in about two weeks. Reportedly, she's also shopping her "story" around to the Oprahs of the TV world to get her side on the Importance of Being Erin.

It's been far too long, in fact, since another Andrews story has surfaced. We thank GQ for its decision to put these pictures out there, despite what some may say is completely wrong. To our surprise, Columbia University still has a football team, and this provides the evidence.

(Just like GQ provided evidence earlier this year when it posted the photos of Sasha Baron Cohen prancing around as "Bruno" with the Birmingham High football team that got LAUSD Superintendent Ramon Cortines' jockstrap in a bunch).

Well, she does clean up nicely.

Like, Philadelphia Inquirer columnist John Gonzalez (linked here), who writes that: "It's too soon to be treating her as a sex symbol again." That implies there is an apparent right time for her to be seen as a sex symbol again, but this just isn't it.

In a story that appeared Tuesday on "Entertainment Tonight," GQ Style Editor Adam Rapoport said Andrews, back in April when these photos were taken, was "up for doing anything" during the shoot. "It was the ESPN guys who kept saying, 'Are you sure you want to shoot her in that?" said Rapoport.

Right, wrong or just still ridiculous, the EA Sports Chick, who does work now for EA Sports, remains her own smokin' gun on an Internet looking for the next thing, or something recycled, to where even boundaries know no boundaries. Let the mud keep flying and expect an ESPN "E:60" report on this sometime in 2012, when she disappears from the sports landscape and takes up a new career as a probation officer.

There's more, moron, and hardly just from us:

== The GQ story and photos under the headline "Erin Andrews Can Score: The ESPN reporter, an obsession of the sports-blog set, consistently lands that perfect sideline interview that captures the glory, the heartache, the drama of college football. But until now, we had no idea how good she looks in shoulder pads" (linked here)

== A two-minute video called "sexy (and completely authorized)" that goes with the piece and pretty much offers nothing more except for a saucy soundtrack:

With the Cincinnati Bengals, right?

What could you be possibly missing?

Episode 1, for starters.

Episode 2 launches tonight (10 p.m.), and according to the HBO turn-it-around-quickly editors, these are the highlights (should you choose to pass on this as well):

== Quarterback Carson Palmer talks about his high standards for the perfect sports energy drink mix: "I've always been a Gatorade snob. Sometimes guys (who mix the drink) half-ass it. They don't really put the right mixture of the Gatorade powder and water to create the best taste. Some guys mix is watered down. Some guys is too sweet. But (team athletic training staff member) Lemar (Mosley) has a wild-berry fruit punch mix, mixing three or four flavors, and it's fantastic. That is an A-plus right there."

== Linebacker Dhani Jones engages in a simultaneous application of acupuncture and an aggressive inside-the-mouth massage. His reaction to how he felt about the therapy: "What do you mean, 'How do I feel?' I am getting pain from all directions."

== Receiver Laveranues Coles invites cameras into his dorm room to demonstrate his unorthodox therapeutic sleep recovery system.

== Receiver Chad Ochocinco visits a local establishment for an evening out on the town, but passes on all offers to buy him a drink. "You see how boring my life is?" he says. "All I have is Twitter."

When do the cameras go to the police station for the perp lineup?

From The Onion Sports (linked here):

Documentary Manny Ramirez Talking About Turns Out To Be 'Billy Madison'

LOS ANGELES -- After less than five minutes listening to Manny Ramirez describe a "powerful documentary" about a son who struggles to take over his father's business, Dodgers teammates concluded that the perennial all-star was actually talking about the 1995 Adam Sandler comedy "Billy Madison."

"I kind of figured it was 'Billy Madison' when Manny started talking about 'the bad man' who tried to take the company from the opera singer from 'Saturday Night Live'," teammate Mark Loretta said. "And when he said the most interesting part was learning that penguins can 'grow to be as tall as men,' that pretty much clinched it."

Ramirez later told his teammates he was looking forward to a new documentary about the the auto industry, in which an overweight man and a skinny man travel across America in an attempt to sell brake pads.

Without Alise Cayen, there'd be no Patty Klapinsky. And the cheery world of cheerleading would be all the more poorer for it.

A book publisher sent this notice out the other day, promoting a new children's tome that just captured our hearts, and minds, and other things, from the very first sentence. We will save you some of the time searching to find out information by letting you that the author, Cayen, "was a professional cheerleader for the Los Angeles and Oakland Raiders for seven years. She has an extensive dance background and has worked as a high school cheerleading and dance coach. Ms. Cayen is a television producer, scriptwriter, poet, high school dance and English instructor and coordinates a police academy magnet school, preparing high school students for law enforcement careers. Ms. Cayen is writing the second volume of Patty Pom-Poms in her Cheerventures series and has just completed a children's book about police officers. She resides in Los Angeles."

Ms. Cayen, it should be noted, works at the Reseda High Police Magnet School (linked here). She's an '86 Reseda High grad, and a '92 grad of Cal State Northridge, according to her pages on Classmates.com. And she's not too old to have her own Facebook page (linked here). Or a MyLife page that lists here at 41 years old (linked here).

And a couple of eBay.com listings (one here) that, for $4.99, allows you to buy: "ALISE CAYEN SEXY!!! COLOR CANDID 8x10 PHOTO RAIDERETTES" .. and there are two available.

Feeling creepy yet?

OK, that was then. This is now (pictured right).

What 17-year-old boy wouldn't want to be a male cheerleader with her recommendation?

With that, Ms. Cayen presents, Patty Pom-Pom, "an inspring children's story about a young girl who works hard to realize a dream."

The rest of the release:

"Patty Klapinsky would give anything to be a sports star like her brothers -- to belong to something -- but she can't seem to find her niche.

"Cayen's inspiring story is engaging and sends a message about persistence and hard work toward realizing dreams and accomplishing goals. Drawn from her own personal experience as a professional cheerleader and dancer, her narrative brings her characters to life with vivid description and rhythmic dialogue; her children's tale is an outstanding work of fiction with a wonderful message."

Wait a sec, this is all fiction? Which part? The stuff about how dreams are realized and goals are accomplished in the cheerleading industry?

We're not trying to stifle any of her creative energy. She apparently has a gun and knows how to use it if we ever ran through a stop sign in Reseda. But reallly ... Patty Pom-Poms? Was Sally Sis-Boom-Bah already taken?

Read more about this, if you must (linked here).

The Dodgers say Wednesday night's game against St. Louis is nearly sold out -- again, it's a bobblehead night, but this time, featuring Matt Kemp instead of Manny Ramirez.

To help promote it even more, the team has created a video that aired on the Prime Ticket pregame show on Monday, and appears to have some shelf life on the website (linked here), or, as it says in the latest media release, "the announcement comes just as a three-minute video featuring the Dodger center fielder's ceramic likeness is spreading rapidly on the Internet."

"Isss your boy, Little Matt," says the voiceover that unfortunately appears to be FSN's Michael Eaves, probably crossing another line in a media member agreeing to help the team with a give-away promotion. "Awwwwww, yeahhhhhh." (That last line, used twice in the clip, makes it official -- that's the tragically hip Eaves).

What could be more tragic -- or provide an even bigger backlash -- is the Dodgers' curious decision to employ the image and personal assistance of Cordozar Calvin Broadus Jr. , aka, rapper Snoop Dogg, not just in this video, but to help market the team with ticket sales and billboard endorsement.

Apparently, after using some focus groups, those who make decisions in Dodgertown have determined that Mr. Dogg apparently makes this organization look more urban, edgy, gangsta and ... less suburban. Two dolla Tuesdays only looked so far away.

After all, according to the information currently at answers.yahoo.com, Mr. Dogg was "bangin with (the) rollin 20's crip in long beach" during his youth, and wikianswers.com suggest he is still a "crip," which explains why he can comfortably wear the blue of the Dodgers if his "homies" wonder about his allegiances these days. (So what's he wearing on the USC football sidelines, then?)

Seriously, we don't have to go to our nearest bookie to get the over/under of all this coming back like a dogbite on the team's marketing rear end someday soon. It'll probably happen before Manny's next suspension.

The Dodgers and Mr. Dogg started their relationship last August when he threw out a ceremonial first pitch. MLB.com was so excited, it put a clip on its site, and Mr. Dogg added a link to his site as well.

On the website TheHollywoodGossip.com, this photo came with this caption:
"Batters, please. Don't front on deez. Crowd the plate and the D-O-double-G will retaliate. Fo' shizzle, nizzle, ma curveball be sizzlin' up in this hizzle!!!"

Does Vin Scully speak jive? Who do we get to translate, Eaves, again?

Last week, the Dodgers decided the launch a moble ticket unit, driving around town to stir up business. David Ely, who wrote the story for MLB.com and had it posted on the Dodgers' website, had this lead:

A few lucky Dodgers fans around Los Angeles on Tuesday got to buy Dodgers tickets from an unconventional vendor at an unusual venue.

Calling Snoop "unconventional" is like calling Andy Dick "somewhat abnormal."

Under the comments posted on this story, one from "BornaDodger: asked: "Which marketing genius thought of this one? What's next...Charles Manson in the weiner mobile selling Dodger Dogs?"

Further, as part of the greater, big picture marketing plan, the Dodgers have now used Mr. Dogg in the "This is My Town" billboard campaign. His billboard is on Sunset Blvd., near Olive, next to the House of Blues.

"I think it's a great billboard," said Mr. Dogg in the MLB.com story. "I thought that was a great look and a great partnership. Dodgers winning, Snoop Dogg winning, so it's a good thing right now."

Right now, it's at least not a campaign that Mr. Dogg is running from prison. Or, as far as we know, he's not running from parole officers, either.

It's not like he has a criminal rap sheet or anything that would have hindered his employment at any reputable company that deals directly with the public.

Oh, wait. He does (some of it linked here).

His rap sheet may be longer than his rap resume:

== April, 2007: The 35-year-old is given five years probation and 800 hours of community service, and told he must not have any gang members in his entourage, after his arrest in Oct. '06 at Bob Hope Airport in Burbank for possession of a gun and drugs.

== March, 2007: He is arrested in Sweden for suspected drug use.

== Nov., 2006: He was arrested on a weapons charge after he left the NBC "Tonight Show With Jay Leno" studios. Police said they found a gun and drugs after searching his car and home.

== Sept. 2006: Arrested on suspicion of weapons charges after a police baton is found in his luggage at John Wayne International Airport.

== August, 2003: Named by police in an affidavit claiming he lured underage girls in New Orleans to take off their shirts for a video by offering them marijuana and Ecstasy as he was filming "Girls Gone Wild: Doggy Style." The case was settled (and sealed) in July 2004.

== October, 2001: After searching his tour bus, Ohio police charge him with possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia. He pleaded no contest, was fined $398.30 and given a suspended 30-day jail sentence.

== May, 1998: Charged with misdemeanor marijuana possession in Los Angeles, fined $370.

== August, 1993: Charged with accomplice to murder in the L.A. shooting death of Phillip Woldemariam. In 1996, a jury found him not guilty of murder charges and deadlocked on voluntary manslaughter.

== July, 1993: L.A. police find a firearm in his car during a traffic stop. He pleaded guilty and was sentenced to make three public service announcements, pay a $1,000 fine and serve three years' probation.

== June, 1990: Arrested for selling cocaine to an undercover L.A. officer. He was convicted and served one year in jail.

If we missed anything, sorry.

And, if the Dodgers failed to do a proper background check on him before authorizing him to sell you tickets (or, whatever else might be in his pockets), that apology is yet to come. When it does, it'll likely be Doggy style, with James Looney asked to scoop it out of the litter box.

Meanwhile, check out Mr. Dogg's latest CD, "Ego Trippin'" which includes the song "Sensual Seduction." Kind of what the Dodgers have with him at this moment in time.

Another day of vacation is another opportunity to run up to the Links at Terranea (linked here) -- that's Terra, as the Latin for "earth" as in "terra firma" or "terra cotta", and then "nea" as in, the 8th most popular Finnish girls' name in 2004. Something like that.

It's the Rancho Palos Verdes ocean-cliffs resort that's only a couple months old (with rooms starting at ... if you need to ask, then you probably don't possess a gray AmEx card) wrapping around a stupendous nine-hole, par-3 course -- about 1,200 yards short from the tips.

Check out Jill Painter's review of it before it disappears into library archive land (linked here).

Jill mentions how the holes each have a name. No. 9 is "Whale Road," according to director of golf John Fitzpatrick, is a reference to Beowulf, where the ocean is known as Whale Road -- which, in this case, affords a view of whale pods occasionally as they migrate north (whites tend to do it in winter, blues at this time of year). There's a better chance at some magnificent dolphin schools splashing about at the former Marineland site (there's a reference for someone over 40 who actually learned about sealife from the tidepools and killer whale tanks from the tourist attraction that went away far too soon).

At "Captain's Bluff," No. 3 on our scorecard, you aim at the Point Vicente Lighthouse (still very functional), but there's often a stiff breeze blowing back at you. From 172 yards, I needed a 3 rescue wood and somehow watched it slice and land on the right of the green, then roll toward the ocean (a common occurance) to where it stopped about 4 inches short of a hole-in-one. I had to snap a shot of it from my cellphone, and Daily News videotographer/Internet love guru Ryan Garfat captured it for one-minute presentation (linked here, with my near crowning achievement in the final scene).

Some friends have asked how Terranea's nine compares to any of the other short tracks we've been on in and around So Cal. Considering the whole package -- and factoring in the $35 weekend fees -- it's tough to put this anywhere but No. 1 on our destination map. But we're open minded.

From our experiences, we've decided to try to construct a short list -- our new Top 10 list of golf courses that can be the perfect 2-hour playdate:

1. The Links at Terranea: (linked here)

Deceivingly dangerous and deliciously devious. And good luck breaking 30 on the par-27 test.

The key to this being the ultimate stop in a 9-hole golf experience is the complete package. You pay a little more -- $35 on weekends, $30 on weekdays, with a reduced rate if you play it a second go-round -- but you gain it back, and beyond, in peacefulness, high-class treatment (from the clubhouse starter and pro shop to the spectacular, if that's the right word, portable restrooms) and staggered tee times that don't put you into a frustrating situation waiting for the group ahead.

Even if there is a slight backup, what can be more calming than to watch a flock of seagulls swoop across the cliffs nearby, or gauge the speed of a small fishing boat chopping through the water. It's what you'd expect to see in Monterey off the coast of Pebble Beach. Think of that. Where else can you even come close to that kind of experience in Southern California without paying a fortune?

They've also got everything a resort can offer to public scavengers -- club rental, pull-cart rental (everyone walks, so no electric carts mucking things up), a beverage cooler rental. Or bring your own Sunday bag and leave the driver in the trunk. You'll probably consider using every other club, however, at one point or another. No driving range, but a nice short-course practice facility plus instruction if you so desire.

Maybe the thing that really puts this in the special category is you have a view of the money pit known as Trump International just a few miles south. Its tricked-up trickery and trumped-up prices leave you wondering if The Donald himself believes he created the landscape for our pleasure. Then you realize -- hey, I'm at Terranea, a much more relaxing experience without feeling as if my credit cards have been stolen. Just a couple miles away to the other side and up the hill is Los Verdes Golf Course -- another public 18-hole track that offers a lot of the same views for even less of a green fee that Terranea. But good luck getting on. It's just been listed as the most-played course in all of Southern California.

2. Roosevelt Golf Course (linked here)

Again, tough to beat the views (of the Griffith Park Observatory, across from the Greek Theatre) as well as the smell of the eucalyptus trees. A hilly 2,400 yards (par 33) and $22 on the weekends for non residents, but count me in for the $10.25 twilight fees on weekdays. Just time it so you're not caught in concert traffic.

3. Studio City Golf Course (linked here):

For $9 a round, and less than 1,000 yards, it's a 50-year-old landmark on Whitsett just off Ventura Blvd., in the Valley where you get to see celebs (and pseudo-celebs) on the driving range trying to work on their game. It's convenience to Jerry's Deli is another plus. Although getting this finished in under two hours is a risk.

4. Harbor Park Golf Course (linked here).

Next to Harbor Junior College in Wilmington, right off the 110 Freeway heading toward San Pedro, is this city-run course that has 3,200 yards (par 36) and was designed by William F. Bell more than 50 years ago. It's another of the places we learned how to use the longer clubs, and try to avoid the water. Get brave and try it out.

5. Manhattan Beach Golf Club (linked here):

It's tucked behind the Marriott Hotel on Rosecrans Blvd., near the El Segundo/Manhattan Beach city line, and open to anyone who can find it. For $19 on weekends ($17 on weekdays), it's a little pricey again for a par 27 (1,209 yards). The signature hole is 150 yards over water at No. 8. The ocean breezes also play into shot selection.

6. Rec Park 9 (linked here)

Actually, it's known as "Little Rec," across the street from the more challenging Long Beach Rec (still one of our favorite big courses) but with enough character to make it challenging and fun in the late afternoon -- a place we've stopped by to keep going after playing on Big Rec and we had the bug to keep working on our short game. A snack bar on the par 31 run (1,900 yards) also helps.

7. Armand Hammer/Holmby Park Pony Course (linked here):

A pitch-n-putt, sure, with 800 yards cut into 18 holes, the longest measuring out generously at 68 yards. But consider the surroundings -- off Beverly Glen and Sunset, just west of the UCLA campus. And only $4 on weekends. You can bet there's some high-end skins games going on there with the locals. It's Hammer time.

8. Penmar Golf Course (linked here and linked here):

They do seem to take their golf at this neighborhood executive course on Rose Ave. in Venice a little more seriouisly than most -- just look at the website on the push to get club membership, tournament news, etc. There are six par 4s (the longest, 398 yards) and three par 3s, and it does get backed up a bit. Maybe because a round is still reasonable (less than $20 most times).

9. The Lakes at El Segundo (linked here)

A revamped course from the one where we learned how to swing the 9-iron some 30 years ago, this one across from the Chevron refinery in Sepulveda gets a lot of traffic (from those coming over from the driving range) for $13 weekend/$11 weekdays on a par 29, 1,300 yard course that starts with three shorties and then one longer one to finish (next to the lake). The new eating facility is very decent to hang out at after playing.

10. Sea Aire (linked here)

It's a piece of land in Torrance where you'd otherwise think is someone's backyard. Par 27, longest is 90-yards uphill on No. 5, but there's a small-town charm about it. Kids will be all over it in the summer, and that's heartwarming. It's $4 for residents/$4.50 for everyone else. It's where we took our kids to learn, and they've still enjoyed going back for great memories.

Others?

== The VA Medical Center Par 3 course in Brentwood isn't open right now (linked here) for some strange reasons. But for a nice, quiet secret place to go, call ahead. It's also a cool place to donate clubs and equipment for the vets to use for free.

==The Dominguez Hills' Par 3 off the 405 freeway in Carson -- you know, with the giant statue of the dude holding the club -- at least has lights if you get the hankering to play after dark. The course itself is nothing to brag about, and the freeway traffic noise doesn't go away. But it can be convenient.

==So too can Alondra Park's Par 3 course (Lawndale, near El Camino College), next to the Main 18 drag, but it's far less attractive than what Little Rec does for Big Rec in Long Beach.

If only we could get on Augusta's Par 3 course some day ...

As an aside, we'd consider The Greens in Valencia -- a minature golf course that opened years ago with real grass, but having read what's become of it (linked here), we're disappointed to hear what's happened to it.

Eric Tracy has this list he created for Southland Golf magazine (linked here), places we haven't ventured to but seem to be worth the effort. But having been to many courses in the past with Sir Eric, we trust his judgement and will be interested to see how his eventually makes it to our revised list someday.

NBATV puts on a Magic show today starting at 3 p.m. to celebrate the 50th birthday of the Lakers' Hall of Famer.

Steve Young, Jim Kelly, Doug Flutie, Herschel Walker and Donald Trump. Memphis showboats and the stars of Philadelphia. Then Baltimore. And the Los Angeles Express playing the Washington Federals, and all those Fed-Ex jokes ...

Naw, that was the spring pro pigskin league that existed amazingly between 1983 and '85 (linked here and linked here) and stole players from the NFL draft ... until the league ran out of cash, then sold off players to the "other" league, and they became Hall of Famers.

Prepare for USFL Version 2.0. In 2010. No kidding.

A new website has magically appeared (linked here) without much media notice, but that's just the start. According to our sources, Tom Ramsey, the former Kennedy High, UCLA and Express quarterback, is among those calling the shots in a San Diego-based leadership group trying to get this 10-team, 16-game schedule going again this spring. There are currently no plans for an L.A.-based team, but one will be in San Diego.

A new USFL fan site has already been launched as well (linked here).

A full announcement could come as early as the end of this week with more details.

This is not to be confused with the new UFL -- United Football League (linked here), that four-team thing where "future stars come to play" set to start Oct. 8. Nor is it to be mistaken for the United States Fight League (linked here).

The sports media world was all atwitter this week with the news that ESPN has established some "chilling effect" policy about how its reporters usie Twitters and Facebook as a means to do their jobs -- break news (linked here).

Mostly, because it had become a joke, with rumor after rumor being replaced by another inaccurate story to the point where the news-gathering source's reputation was taking a well-deserved hit.

When the New York Times (linked here) gets a sniff of something like this, then it really smacks into a s*$&storm, and there's more explaining to do, more others commenting on it (linked here), and others, of course, merely tweeting more about it, leading to other leagues and networks considering if they're doing the right thing by adding to the electronic noise of non-news filteration that's inflitrating our senses like a spilled truckload of manuer on the 405 near the 710 interchange (linked here).

Incredibly, it was wanna-be reporter Ric (no K, thanks) Bucherwho "broke" the news, on his Twitter account, with the tweet: "The hammer just came down, tweeps: ESPN memo prohibiting tweeting info unless it serves ESPN." Jim Gray wasn't fast enough. So far, it has probably proven to be the most accurate thing he's reported on since insisting Kobe Bryant would be traded by the Lakers within days.

What did we learn about this story as it circulated, recirculated and then died an unnatural death because something else brighter and shiner came around? Nothing, just like anything Twitter related.

If you can't trust the source, why use it? It's that simple.

Some speculate ESPN did this because it's been pulling readers away from the other rumors and inuendo that's commonly reported on ESPN.com. True enough, but for those of us who'll never use, rely on or acknoweldge Twitters as a news-gathering resource, we can sleep easier knowing nothing we write will be affected by some half-assed texter who has a free account linked to a social network of nimrods who won't blink because they fear they'll miss out on the next biggest piece of information to cloud their opinion.

Yes, we're hatin' on Twitter. We're in tech-denial. Go tweet that, sweetie, and let us know who reacts to it.

Other stuff we learned about this week:

== Frank Deford wilst nary a tweet for ESPN (linked here).

== The United Football League has a TV schedule, with ever single game of the four-team charade appearing either on Versus or Mark Cuban's HD Net (linked here). Who's brave enough to take the job as the play-by-play man?

== Fox's Jay Glazer has gladly grafittied Chris Mortensen's ESPN tour bus (linked here) and then flashed some Fox gang sign to prove it's him. What's Mort supposed to do now, beat him up?

== Do you really need the entire ABC/ESPN NBA schedule? (linked here). Or TNT's (linked here). Or just the highlights (linked here).

== How will ESPN cover the upcoming US-Mexico kickball game when it doesn't even have the rights to it? (linked here).

== Who gets the first interview with victim Erin Andrews? Oprah? Diane Sawyer? Does she interview herself, for ESPN? Naw, that'd be too stupid and no information would ever come forth (linked here).

== One of the best lines ever written about Mike Lupica: "Mike Lupica's ego is to sportswriting what Milton Berle's (member) is to comedy. (linked here).

== (ALMOST) FINALLY:

Apparently, when writing for ESPN's website, you can get away with "pretending" to flip off a Yankee Stadium authentic chair, as Bill "The Sports Guy" Simmons does here in an otherwise outstanding tour of the national sports collectors convention in Cleveland (linked here):

== AND FINALLY:

== Best fake sports story of the week from the Onion (linked here):

Blue Jays GM Confirms There Never Really Was A 'Roy Halladay'

TORONTO--Responding to criticism that the team should have done more to deal star pitcher Roy Halladay by the trade deadline, Blue Jays general manager J.P. Ricciardi revealed at a press conference Monday that there was no such person as the alleged six-time All-Star.

Please, guys," said a defensive Ricciardi, who shopped "Halladay" around to the Phillies and Red Sox, among other teams. "A 6-foot-6, 225-pound pitcher with a 94-mph fastball who plays 200 innings a season? We're not giving that guy away for just anything, even if he does exist."

Lauryn Lukin, the Dodgers' VP of broadcasting who oversees the Jr. Dodgers broadcasting program that brings young talent into the booth for a chance to call a game, says she's constantly amazed how media savvy the kids are these day.

"It's so exciting to hear a 10-year-old with so much energy, calling a game, after doing all the prep work," Lukin said. "Some nerves have gotten in the way sometimes, but they've been incredible once they settle down and do the game. I can't wait to see where they end up. If one does end up with a team, to be able to back to when they were 12 or 13, calling a Dodger game, it's a once-in-a-lifetime thing for them and a way to track the future of broadcasting."

John Madden, for instance, must be replaced. And we'll see how NBC does with that as more media notes come through in addition to today's media column (linked here):

== NBC teams up Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth in calling the Buffalo-Tennessee Hall of Fame exhibition game from Canton, Ohio (5 p.m., Channel 4). For this tandum, it's their third game together in the booth, having previously called last year's Pro Bowl and the Seahawks-Bucs game in Week 5.

"It's not like we are going from a veteran star to a rookie," said game producer Fred Gaudelli. "We are going from a veteran star to another veteran star, and we are all excited about it.

"Al, Cris and I have had conversations and I think ... to go into a season and try to contrive what the difference is going to be is really just a recipe for failure. Cris is incredibly well informed. He has his opinions, he sees the game the way he sees it and I think whatever shape the broadcast is going to take, it's just going to come out naturally. The main thing is that everybody's got the same goal to produce the best NFL telecast there is and everything else falls second to that. It will be different, there's no question about it, but the difference will come naturally."

"We would all love to see John Madden sitting right next to Al but unfortunately he was ready to retire," said Collinsworth. "I have talked to John a couple of times this off-season and he's happy, I think he is a little anxious. I think his motor is running a little bit right now. He's so used to getting going with football, he's done it his whole life. He still loves the game and is still following it very closely and it's exciting for him to see football season come around. I certainly plan on staying in touch with him."

Michael and Collinsworth have one more exhibition -- Sunday, Aug. 30, Chicago at Denver -- before the Sept. 10 regular-season kickoff game in Pittsburgh and the first regular-season Sunday night game in Green Bay (with Chicago as the visitors) on Sept. 13.

== ESPN (starting at 4 p.m., with Trey Wingo and Tom Jackson) and the NFL Network (starting at 2 p.m., with Rich Eisen, Michael Irvin and Steve Marucci) have Hall of Fame induction coverage Saturday. Included in the induction as a media member is former CBS NFL studio host Irv Cross.

== ESPN airs the documentary, "The Lost Son of Havana," on Monday at 7 p.m., after first showing it on ESPN Deportes on Sunday at 3 p.m. The flick shows present-day Cuba with former big-league pitcher Luis Tiant returning to Havana after 46 years of exile and a 19-year career. Then 67, El Tiante confronted the long-simmering feelings of love and loss he had for his family, his former teammates and the country he left behind. Chris Cooper narrates the movie directed by Jonathan Hock ("Through the Fire") and produced by the Farrelly Brothers.

== Chris Marlowe and Paul Sunderland call the AVP's Hermosa Open for NBC on Saturday (women's final at 1:30 p.m.) and Sunday (men's final at 1:30 p.m.).

AND FINALLY:

== How classic has it been with the way DirecTV has turned the Time Warner Cable technical glitch of the missed Manny Ramirez grand slam from the Dodgers-Reds game on July 22 into another way to directly promote their satellite product? Talk about a self-made marketing campaign falling onto your dish.

Juan Ocampo/LA Dodgers
Jr. Dodgers Broadcasters Eric Cuevas, left, and Jane Arkangel, center, join Jake Reiner, right, in the booth during a recent Sunday online broadcast. Cuevas was a 10th grade honor student at Loyola High School, where he is forming his own broadcasting club and is a catcher on Loyola's baseball team. Arkangel, 9, was fifth grader who speaks English and Japanese.

Jake Reiner flew home to Brentwood from Detroit on Wedneday, having spent a day on the set in Michigan with his father, Rob, who's in the middle of producing and directing a movie called "Flipped," based on a teen love story.

"I have a little part in it," said Jake, 18. "I'm the bass player in a band, and I have a pet snakes that eats eggs whole. My name is Skylar. I'm just in one scene."

Rob Reiner made it a family rule -- none of his kids are in his movies until they're 18. Which leaves Jake's younger brother, who's 15, and younger sister, who's 11, farther down on the waiting list.

Acting, though, isn't Jake Reiner's real passion. He's going to Syracuse University later this month to begin studying broadcasting -- with the hope someday of working for the Dodgers on their radio or TV games.

Jake has also been one of the stars of the new Jr. Dodgers broadcasting initinative, which has been cultivating young broadcasting talent by allowing them to call games from the press box that go live online for every Sunday home game. We'll get more into that program and other apsects of the Dodgers Sports Lab in Friday's media column.

Having done some acting at Wildwood School in Los Angeles, Jake understands what it takes to engage an audience.

"There's a lot of showmanship involved," he said. "You have to have a presence, especially as a stage actor, to make the audience comfortable. Performing translates to broadcasting. The audience needs to know they're in good hands with you and they'll know exactly what's going on without any worry."

Yup, the kid seems to have a lot of this stuff already figured out. Read more tomorrow.

== More on a recent ballpark tour that Rob and Jake Reiner took (linked here)

The Redondo Beach Cafe (linked here) will have a special viewing party of Sunday's Buffalo-Tennessee Hall of Fame exhibition from Canton, Ohio (4:30 p.m.) to honor Pro Football Hall of Fame coach George Allen and raise money for his son's local non-profit Freedom4U organization.

Former Washington Redskins quarterback Bill Kilmer is among those former players who have committed to attending the event.

An auction and raffle will take place, with a portion of the proceeds donated to Freedom4U, under the direction of Dr. Greg Allen, son of the late football coach.

A licensed therapist, Greg Allen started Freedom4U to provide services for youth and their families, enriching the quality of their relationships and lives.

Allen, who entered the Hall of Fame in 2002, had the third best winning percentage (.681) in NFL history and never had a losing season. His NFL coaching career began in 1957 with the Los Angeles Rams. Some 30 years later, his defensive innovations had become mainstays of NFL strategies that remain to this day. At the age of 71, in 1990, Allen came out of retirement to coach Long Beach State to a winning season.

Chris Tsangaris, co-owner of the Redondo Beach Cafe with brother Kosta, played for Allen at Long Beach State.

More info on Freedom4U: http://www.freedomcommunity.com

Jenny Johnson Jordan has a bit of a problem when asked where she lives these days.

"If they ask where I live, I say Pittsburgh, but if they ask where are you from, I say L.A.," said the veteran AVP beach volleyball player, who grew up in West L.A., starred at UCLA and was living in Tarzana until moving to Wexford, Pa., a Pittsburgh suburb, last summer.

The move was a leap of faith because her husband, Kevin Jordan -- the former UCLA football standout receiver -- accepted a job as the Pittsburgh Steelers' team chaplain. His prayers must have been answered -- the team won the Super Bowl, and coach Mike Tomlin gave him plenty of credit for establishiing unitity on the roster.

JJJ, who with longtime partner Annett Davis finished second at the AVP's stop in Manhattan Beach three weeks ago, is gearing up for this weekend's Hermosa Beach Open (finals are Saturday, Channel 4, 1:30 p.m.).

We caught up with her -- she and the family are staying with her parents, Rafer and Betsy Johnson, in Sherman Oaks -- and have more on the adaptation process from beach to steel city in Thursday's newspaper editions and online.

By the way:

As part of the AVP preliminary events on Sunday, before the men's final, a USC vs. UCLA alumni match is taking place at 11:30 a.m. on centre court.

Six former USC women's volleyball players are on the current AVP Crocs Tour, including Jennifer Kessy and April Ross. Other former Trojans include Keao Burdine, Tracy Lindquist and Katie Olsovsky. AVP Legends who'll be there include Tim Hovland and Steve Obradovich.

UCLA alumni on the AVP Crocs Tour include Johnson Jordan, Davis, Kevin Wong and Jeff Nygaard. Beach volleyball legend Sinjin Smith also attended UCLA and will be on hand at the event.

"ESPN does so much quality work, but at a certain point, in whatever field, if you become omnipotent, and if you are secure, you stop being a conceited smarty-pants and start exhibiting a measure of grace."

What's taken ESPN so long to hire Frank Deford as its new ombudsman? Probably because this will be his best shot. The rest would be tough to match as critical commentary -- or much substance.

A link to the esteemed sports journalist's take on the Worldwide Leader from this morning NPR "Morning Edition" under the headline: "High-and-mighty ESPN Should Take It Down A Notch" (linked here). It's also a four-minute commentary that you can listen to, to get the full Deford nuances.

Andy Holzman/Daily News

Splashed across the newsprint like a 99 Cents Store sale, I'm a bit embarassed with all the attention from today's sports section coverage of my attempt to make the 2010 Olympic curling team (story linked here).

But I can turn that frown upside down.

There's a technique that must be learned that, after a few attempts, shouldn't be that tough to master. But it involves physical strength and the confidence that you won't slip and fall in your non-ice skates that really is the secret to starting this with some sort of success. Those who've grown up walking on ice have a distinct advantage. Those of us who slip in the shower are set up for failure.

This is what happened after one of my first attempts, a splashdown as if I was an Apollo astronaunt who found a pond in Alaska more comfortable than the Pacific Ocean. This is what those birds must feel like when they fly over Boise State's blue football field and mistake it for a lake:

That luge thing doesn't look so hard. I'm already on my back, and I'm cold. How much more work could that be?

From Daily News Wire Services

Curling will be receiving some prime-time exposure just prior to next year's Winter Olympics in Vancouver as Homer and Marge Simpson take up one of Canada's favorite sports.

An episode of the long-running comedy "The Simpsons'' featuring the cartoon power couple playing the game is scheduled to run in early February on the Fox Network.

"We wanted to do a show at the Winter Olympics in Vancouver and my initial idea was to have Homer and three of his buddies do a four-man bobsled,'' said writer Rob LaZebnik in an interview with The Canadian Press.

"Then we decided there's a lot more interesting story having Homer do something with Marge. One of the head writers suggested curling and we all liked it. I learned about mixed curling and it seemed kind of perfect.''

In the episode, Homer and Marge form a mixed-doubles curling team with Principal Skinner and his mother, who are experienced curlers. It turns out that Marge is a natural, while Homer is a disaster on the ice.

Marge is faced with a difficult decision: Possibly win a medal by asking Homer to leave the team or ruin their chances by keeping him.

Andy Holtzman/Daily News

Don't fret, America. My curling days aren't over. I'd just prefer to look at the rink as half-full, without innocent bystanders pointing and laughing. I'm still in the reinventing stage.

But with six months to go for the 2010 Winter Olympics, I'm behind schedule. More accurately, I'm sitting on my behind. On a block of ice. Trying to figure out why this isn't as easy as it sorta looks.

Let's see, just Google "Vancouver . . . 2010 . .. schedule." Passport? Who needs a passport these days to . . . never mind. Here, the curling competition runs from Feb. 16-25, with the medal event two days later.

By my calendar, there's probably enough time left to learn the sport that I've seen plenty of times in past Olympiads, qualify for the U.S. team, attend more training camp somewhere in Wisconsin, play in a few warm-up games against Poland, and clean up on the medal stand.

I dream big.

Which makes the pre-training session at the Iceoplex Easy Street rink in Simi Valley (liked here) the other night kinda look more like a nightmare. Or just a minor setback. It depends on how you interpret dreams.

The SoCal Curling Club (linked here) had its "learn to curl" session for anyone over 12 and with $20 to invest lured a couple dozen contestants who may have thought they were trying out for a Canadian reality show. The reality was, just because you owned a pair of warm gloves and thermal socks, there's no guarantee this club would even take you on as a regular participant once league play opens this weekend.

The club started four years ago, right as curling became appointment TV viewing during the 2006 Turin Games in Italy, since Fred Roggin made it all look so campy. That's about the time when Carrie Cresante, a Westlake Village attorney smart enough to make it through Pepperdine law school, thought she had the foresight to link into an Olympic-level sport and see where it could take her.

As a founding member of these SoCal Curlers, she's been to Canada, where she picked up a pair of $200 specialized shoes with special sliders on the bottom, but better than what you'd find in the rental department at the local bowling alley. She's also become quite fond of her carbon-fiber broom, because it's much lighter to move down the ice than those old wooden-handled jobs.

"Most don't have these shoes, but if I play, I use the right equipment," the 31-year-old said. "I'm competitive. I wouldn't be a good lawyer if I wasn't."

Plus, she said, the shoes were insulated. For that price, they'd better come with a warm-up act and two-drink minimum.

I really had no time, or patience, to learn all about the foreign terminology. The stone -- that a 44-pound piece of granite with a handle attached -- is supposed to be headin' to the house. If you accidentally touched it with a broom as you were sweeping, it's called "burning the stone," but since you're on the honor system, you have to call the friction infraction on yourself.

There's the lead, second, vice skip and skip yelling at you. The hack line is 21 feet to the hogline. . . .

Blah, blah, blah. . . . All hogwash.

A five-game Christmas Day lineup of NBA contests on ABC and ESPN has something predictable -- Cleveland, with LeBron James and Shaquille O'Neal, traveling to Staples Center to meet Kobe Bryant and the Lakers (ABC, 2 p.m.) -- and then something that's quite unusual -- the Clippers, starting an ESPN doubleheader at 5 p.m. with a game at Phoenix.

Santa has gotten a bit crazy in his old age.

The day begins with Miami at New York (9 a.m., ESPN), followed by Boston at Orlando (ABC, 11:30 a.m.) and capped off with Denver at Portland (7:30 p.m., ESPN).

ESPN and ABC have 90 NBA games combined (75 of them on ESPN). Their schedule starts with an ESPN doubleheader on Wednesday, Oct. 28: New Orleans at San Antonio followed by Utah at Denver. Then it's the Lakers hosting Dallas on Friday, Oct. 30 (7:30 p.m.), preceeded by Chicago at Boston.

The Lakers and Celtics make 16 appearances on ESPN and ABC -- the most allowed by the league on any network. Cleveland has 15 hits, and Orlando has 14. The Clippers have five.

On TNT, the schedule begins on Tuesday, Oct. 27 with a doublehead capped by the Lakers' receiving their championship rings prior to a game against the Clippers (7:30 p.m.). The opening game is Boston at Cleveland (4:30 p.m.).

The Lakers' second regular-season game against the Cavaliers, Jan. 21 at Cleveland, is a TNT telecast.

The Lakers make 9 TNT appearances, and the Clippers have three. Cleveland, Denver and Orlando have 10 TNT stops.

On NBA TV, there are 96 games, starting on Sunday, Nov. 1 with New Orleans-Boston. The Clippers have five NBA TV hits on Sunday, Nov. 9 (at Oklahoma City, 4 p.m.), Wednesday, Dec. 2 (home vs. Houston, 7:30 p.m.), Sunday, Dec. 9 (home vs. San Antonio, 6:30 p.m.), Sunday, April 4 (home vs. New York, 6:30 p.m.) and Monday, April 12 (home vs. Dallas, 7:30 p.m.)

I thought I was imagining it when I heard Stuart Scott try to go mentally challenged "funny speak" during the late-night episode of "SportsCenter" on Sunday. So I played it back. Two or three times.

Not because it was funny. Because it was just so randomly ... wrong.

It was right after the Dodgers-Braves telecast, and Scott, on "SportsCenter" duties with John Buccigross, was doing a V.O. on the lead story -- Tiger Woods' triumph at the PGA's Buick Open.

"Putting for par at the 17th ..." Scott begins, then says, "You see the movie, 'The Ringer'?"

"I did," answers Buccigross.

The reference is to the 2005 Johnny Knoxville flick (linked here), where he pretends to be a mentally challenged person so that he can win at the Special Olympics.

From there, Scott then goes into a dialect reminscinent of the character "Glen" (played by Jed Rees) ... except it made no sense. It's that halting, child-like voice that you hear from a mentally challenged person -- in the context of the movie, it was funny in how they delivered the dialogue. But taken out of context, and attached to a clip that really has nothing to do with "The Ringer" -- or golf -- apparently was just too good for Scott to pass up.

Can't find any clips on YouTube or elsewhere. Not sure how else to explain it. Anyone else catch it and have an opinion?

UPDATE:
As of Wednesday AM, still no official kind of response from ESPN damage control headquarters.

Trying to wrangle Bob and Mike Bryan is tough enough, but when you're told to go somewhere on Stagg Street in Van Nuys, to a unmarked stucco building surrounded by an upholstery outlet, a bagel company, a Kosher bakery and a sheet-metal company, then it's become both cool and strange.

The most popular men's doubles team today, who'll soon have the record for most tournament victories (perhaps by the time they're 33), are near their Camarillo hometown to play in the L.A. Tennis Open, a place where they served as ballkids and played hide-and-seek through the facilities.

In addition to ripping it up on the courts, they're trying to rip out a new CD called "Let It Rip," with Mike on drums, Bob on keyboard and bass, and another new friend, David Baron, on vocals. Other tunes: "Chasing The Sun," "Marching On," "Spinning My Days," and "Autograph."

It's tough enough telling Bob and Mike apart -- thankfully, for their matches, they wear shirts with their names on the back. One of them has a scar under his eye, actually -- Bob, because when they were kids, Mike through he was "He-Man" and actually cut him with a real knife.

They fight, like any brothers. Some more public. But at least they're entertaining. Read more Sunday, if you can.

More on the Bryans:

== Their official website (BobandMike.com, rather than the outdated BryanBros.com)
== The Bryan Brothers Foundation charity event at Sherwood Country Club (linked here)
== Their Wikipedia bio (linked here)