The curling outtakes

Andy Holzman/Daily News

Splashed across the newsprint like a 99 Cents Store sale, I'm a bit embarassed with all the attention from today's sports section coverage of my attempt to make the 2010 Olympic curling team (story linked here).

But I can turn that frown upside down.

There's a technique that must be learned that, after a few attempts, shouldn't be that tough to master. But it involves physical strength and the confidence that you won't slip and fall in your non-ice skates that really is the secret to starting this with some sort of success. Those who've grown up walking on ice have a distinct advantage. Those of us who slip in the shower are set up for failure.

This is what happened after one of my first attempts, a splashdown as if I was an Apollo astronaunt who found a pond in Alaska more comfortable than the Pacific Ocean. This is what those birds must feel like when they fly over Boise State's blue football field and mistake it for a lake:

That luge thing doesn't look so hard. I'm already on my back, and I'm cold. How much more work could that be?