Turtle racing: Maybe it's new to you but ...
"Forget Beer Pong" starts a headline on a blog from something called Asylum.com (linked here). "Turtle Racing Is the Newest Bar Trend"
A catchy enough headline to attract attention from SI.com as well and link to it.
The story insists: "Inspired by Big Joe's, a Chicago dive bar, Bucky's Grill and Pub in Indianapolis decided to bring the sport of turtle racing to their city. Co-owners J Euneman and Nate Van Pelt purchased the bar in early February, gave it a swift makeover and hosted its first turtle racing event Saturday, Feb. 20."
How inspiring ... how not "new."
Just ask the patrons of Brennan's in Marina del Rey. Those who've been shelled up in this sport of this species of reptile racing for the better part of ... forever.
According to the official rules posted on the Brennan's Website (linked here), where they call it "THE home of turtle racing":
== Turtle racing occurs almost every Thursday evening, usually starting between 9 and 10 p.m. It is held outside, so dress accordingly.
== Turtles are classified into one of seven divisions (from Midget to Monster).
== There are 2 rounds of racing each night racing can be held. The rounds are about an hour apart. Bring your own turtle, or rent one of ours......
== There are important rules, such as "Don't point at the turtles!"
== Remember, Brennan's is also a classy, pleasant place to sit back and enjoy high quality beverages, food, a game of darts, socializing with friends, other interesting people, the occassional celebrity, turtle racing, and hot live entertainment.
== NOTE: Turtles caught using performance enhancing drugs will be disqualified and prohibited from further racing.
That last reference must be in light of any athlete from the University of Maryland (aka, the Terapins) who would consider participation.
== LA Weekly had this write up on Brennan's back in 2005 (linked here):
Brennan gives new meaning to the term "pub crawl." Waiting for the event to begin on the outdoor patio, watchers saunter up to the "Turtle Bar," a late-night gas-station-style window to the inside bartender. Sipping beers and Turtle Night drink specials like $2 tropical Kamikaze shots, they choose favorites. Turtle naming is key to earning emotional support from the 350 nightly bar attendees. In the past, Golden Shlong, Soup-If-You-Lose and Clitortoise have been winners.
As tension mounts, the shelled athletes are lined up in a pen on the 16-foot track. When the plastic door is opened, the turtles are off toward the white line at lightning -- okay, more like molasses -- speed. The announcer also acts as judge, as the turtles race, neck and neck, shell and shell. You can root enthusiastically, but don't cross that announcer -- this is not a lawless town. Pointing at the turtles tends to make them stop, which results in a restart and a penalty for the offending pointer. A $3 fine is imposed on anyone who sticks a finger in the track's direction; rowdier watchers may find they owe even more. All fines go to charity, though.
Despite that competitive itch that makes you want your turtle to cross the white line a nose (or face) ahead of the rest, as much as you want that pretty blue ribbon, rules are rules. Slow and steady wins the race.
4089 Lincoln Blvd., Marina del Rey; (310) 821-6622 or www.brennanspub-la.com/racing.htm.
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