Sad news to report, Mater Dei star softball pitcher, Nadia Brianne Matthews, commits suicide. She was only 16

I don’t know the Matthews family, nor did I ever meet Bri. I am not a professional writer. I am however a mom of an overachieving daughter. Bri’s tragedy has opened my eyes. I cannot fathom the pain Bri must have been in, nor the pain her family is now experiencing. I send her family my deepest and sincerest condolences.

I have also taken a long look in the mirror and have had a conversation with my own daughter. I have taken the liberty of creating a fictional story of a daughter’s letter to her parents, and her parent’s response. I am not assuming to know what Bri was going through so please don’t take this as an attempt to do that. This is total fiction. It is however what I assume sometimes goes through my own child’s mind. I only desire that if this piece can open a dialogue between you and your child, that you will do so.

To Mom & Dad,
Perfect, perfection, always doing it right,
Better, superior, have to shine and be bright,
Doesn’t feel right to slack off even once,
Can’t show my tiredness, must always be “on”.
Grades, tests, projects are not what I do,
But what I AM…can I accept anything less than
excellence? Can you?
Defense must be error free, how can I accept
Anything other since I am me?
Hitting, bringing in that run, I HAVE to do it,
Otherwise how can I face them, you or even myself?
How is .400 being a winner? Not me, not me,
I am perfect, perfection, always doing it right.
Right mom? Right dad? I’m still your #1?!
But wait, what are these feelings inside?
How can I let him jeopardize all I am?
What is this heat traveling inside?
It is a war inside me. I know what is right,
But my body says otherwise…
How can I face you? I’m perfect no more,
I’ve let you down, I can’t turn back the clock,
I can’t undo what I’ve done.
Darkness engulfs me, how I have strayed,
Perfect, perfection, is no longer my way,
And so…. I am…. Perfection… no more.

To Daughter,
What is perfection? It doesn’t exist,
And we’re sorry we have failed you in that lesson.
Your light is more than all of your accomplishments,
Your being is more than a sum of your grades,
Your spirit is brighter than the sun and stars combined,
Perfection is you,
just being you,
without the accolades.
Let the toy blocks lay where they fall, don’t pick them up…
Leave the laundry on your bed, let us complain…
Have some fun with your team, don’t carry the weight…
Sneak that kiss behind the bleachers, we’ve all done it once.
That heat inside you is called First Love,
Possibly the strongest emotion you will ever experience.
It is not a failure to us for you to be a teen,
For you to go through what is your right as a young person.
Life will be full of temptations,
And sometimes you will succumb to them,
And when that day comes,
When you make that mistake, whatever it is,
come cry on our shoulders. Don’t be afraid.
Baby, you need to understand,
Although you expect the best of yourself,
Being human is to have some faults,
And to make some errors and mistakes.
Making mistakes is in itself an education!
Handling disappointments is a lifelong excursion...it cannot be avoided.
And so, we are here for you.
Let us help you through it, let us help you prevail, let us wrap you in our arms.
Because yes, you are beautiful, and yet, you are also FALLIBLE.
But regardless, you must always remember that you will always be,
Our perfect daughter.

Watching this girl pitch for the last couple of years was an honor. Great kid and athlete.It's hard to think that kids now adays have so much pressure on them, maybe from there parents, coaches,friends,ect.Bri had her whole future in the palm of her hands and now its gone.My prayers our with the family.

Frank, that was a very insightful comment.....thanks for sharing it , I second your thoughts and prayers for her,her family, her friends

To we all miss coach Lucero,

I could not agree more. Their are not enough coaches out there like your coach Lucero. I played for a coach in high school that was the opposite of what coach Lucero was and have had to endure the same with high school coaches that coach my kids. They talk a great message but there actions fall far far short. Their actions have shown they are more concerned about developing their team than developing young people. I am sure coach Lucero's family appreciates you words I know I did.His legacy will live on far longer than any amount of championships won.

I've had three friends commit suicide. In my 50 years I've yet to see it coming in any one of them. Even today, after all these years I can not say I ever remember a moment when I thought I sensed any trouble. High school is getting to be so much more difficult than it has ever been as every facet of one's life is a click away from being broadcast. Coaches play a unique role in our sons and daughters development and how they interact with them is crucial to their self image. I don't know why this happened, and I'm sure no one will ever know, but maybe it's time to discuss openly with our kids feelings that are difficult to address.

One day as I was discussing Coach Lucero's influence with the kids at Damien, after his death, my son said he helped kids find a place where they belonged and felt good about themselves. He said, "No one will ever know how many lives he saved, but he did." I asked him if any students he knew at school had discussed suicide and he said, "More than parents will ever know." Then he told me, "Think about it Dad. Wrestlers are kids that have been told they're not big enough, fast enough, smart enough or tough enough. All we hear is that we're not what coaches want or need. Coach Lucero doesn't care what you look like, what you've done or not done, doesn't care why you're there...all he cares about is you...that's it! No strings attached. Come to practice, work hard and help each other get better. You know..GO DAMIEN!!...but with Coach Lucero its...GO YOU!!!"

When I read this story I thought about my son's words and I thanked God for the role Coach Lucero played in my son's life. He was a tremendous man who understood the delicate balance between winning on the mat and winning in life. I miss his Banquet speeches about every single wrestler and how he did his best to make each and every parent proud of their son regardless of their mat time results.

I pray that the friends and family of this beautiful girl find peace in this terrible tragedy. The toughest questions in life are the ones we don't ask...and the toughest answers are the ones we'll never get.

May God bless her on her journey and may she find peace and comfort at the right hand of Our Lord.

My daughter has played against Bri since rec ball. She was a fierce competitor on the field and one of the nicest kids off of it. My daughter was shocked to hear about Bri because she had everything going for her, as the paper mentioned she had already verballed to Arizona, had a 4.0 gpa @ Mater Dei and a 10 year old sister who idolized her. I sometimes read these blogs and when individuals target high school kids I wonder now will they think twice before attacking kids playing High school sports. While being competitive they should also be fun. It's one of the best times of your life, and should be enjoyed not destroyed by others expectations. RIP BRI we send our prayers for you and your family.