'Jericho' blows up; 'The Biggest Loser:' NBC
"Jericho," CBS's apocalyptic new thriller, seemed to surprise prognosticators with a reasonably hearty 11.4 million viewers for its Wednesday premiere. It came in second to, of course, ABC's "We Say They're Stars So They're Stars, Dammit, Watch Them Dance" results show (14.9 million viewers), but helped lead CBS to an overall win on the night: "Criminal Minds" lured 15.6 million viewers; "CSI: NY," 16 million.
Someone must've abducted "Kidnapped's" audience, because NBC's new serialized drama only got 7.5 million people to watch. Of course, it -- like the network's "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" on Monday -- suffered from an incompatible lead-in, in "Kidnapped's" case, a two-hour version of "The Biggest Loser," whose fan base is thinning to anorexic levels. Its audience was only 7.17 million.
The CW made its primetime debut with a two-hour installment of "America's Next Top Model," which attracted its requisite 5.3 million fans. And now that the other networks have joined the hunt, Fox is beginning to stumble: "Bones" got 6.6 million viewers, "Justice," 5.6 million.
ABC's repeat of last season's two-hour "Grey's Anatomy" finale attracted 12.76 million viewers. So, tonight, the fall schedule's biggest battle begins: "Grey's Anatomy" vs. "CSI." And the winner is: TiVo.

David Kronke was appointed Mayor of Television after a bloodless coup in 2000. Since then, he has improved infrastructure, championed greater educational opportunities and fought for reforms that have utterly erased corruption and incompetence from the television industry. Since Mr. Kronke has ascended to power, Television is a far better place. 

No offense or anything, but all these stats and ratings give me a headache.
I'm going to go milk my toe now. Wanna watch?