The Looming Belushi

People are still chattering about the Chris Wallace/Bill Clinton dust-up on “Fox News Sunday,� with reactions predictably divided along partisan lines (Clinton looked insane/responded aggressively; Wallace asked a legitimate question/smirked aggressively).

(If you haven’t seen it – and if you haven’t, what’s wrong with you? – here it is.)

This latest Moment To Inspire Pundits Who’ve Neglected Their Rabies Shots reminds your Mayor of the time Chris Wallace had me on his program (cue hazy, swirling visual effects):

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

WALLACE: When we announced that you were going to be on “Fox News Sunday,� I got a lot of email, and I was surprised most of them wanted me to ask you this question: Why didn’t you do more to keep “According to Jim� and “The Flavor of Love� off the air? There’s a new book out which I suspect you’ve read called “The Looming Belushi.� And it talks about how the fact that when you allowed NBC to briefly air “Titans� in 2000, Flavor Flav said, “I have seen the frailty and the weakness and the cowardice of network television executives.� Then there was “The Secret Diaries of Desmond Pfeiffer� and the UPN Network in general.

MAYOR: OK…

WALLCE: May I just finish the question, sir? And after those shows, the book says ABC was emboldened to work further with the men who had created “Hiller and Diller.� I understand that hindsight is 20/20…

MAYOR: No, let’s talk about…

WALLACE: …but the question is why didn’t you do more? Connect the dots and put them out of business? Certainly you were aware that that ABC was developing a series with Jim Belushi.

MAYOR: I will answer all of those things on the merits, but I want to talk about the context in which this arises. I’m being asked this on a Fox network, which has given the world “When Animals Attack� and “Married By America� and “The Swan.� And my record on reality programming is well-known.

WALLACE: I understand…

MAYOR: No, wait. You asked me why I didn’t do more about Belushi and Flavor Flav. Early on, I went to what I perceived was the core of the problem, Fox reality development guru Mike Darnell. I authorized the Ministry of Television Aesthetics to get groups together to try to kill him. I was determined to keep reality programming from infiltrating the Land of Television. I’ve been at the forefront of silencing those who would pollute our air with lame sitcoms.

WALLACE: Do you think you did enough, sir?

MAYOR: No, because reality programming has entered the Land of Television.

WALLACE: Right…

MAYOR: But at least I tried. I wrote a withering review of “Chains of Love.� And when ABC tried to pair “According to Jim� with “Rodney,� I panned that show, as well. That’s the difference in me and some, including all the television development executives who are attacking me now. I tried. So you did their bidding on this show. You did a nice little hit job on me.

WALLACE: Now, wait a minute, sir. I asked a question. You don’t think that’s a legitimate question?

MAYOR: It was a perfectly legitimate question. (Poking Wallace) But I want to know if you asked Stu Bloomberg, when he was at ABC, how hard he tried to keep Jim Belushi off the air. Did you ever ask Gail Berman when she was at Fox, what she was doing to protect Television from reality programming.

WALLACE: Do you ever watch “Fox News Sunday,� sir?

MAYOR: Nah, I like to sleep in on Sundays.