October 2006 Archives
The Daily News introduced a new TV Book on Sunday, incorporated into its features section: Bigger, easier-to-read grids but no list of movies airing during the week. Some folks liked it; some didn't - you win some, you lose some. Meanwhile, a number of callers this week complained that BBC America wasn't part of the grid and it was hard to find in their cable package. Boy, you can't please anybody.
Well, let's try this: Spencer Green, co-creator of “Bukowsical!�, a cheerful and tuneful portrait of a raging alcoholic which we have previously discussed, has written the definitive grid for the networks’ primetime schedules. It’s not for the easily offended or anyone who actually works on any of the shows evoked, but it’s perhaps the deftest, most succinct act of TV criticism of the fall season available.
... always get NBC down.
The network probably would've preferred a bit less of a nebulous result from last night's trial run of "Friday Night Lights" in place of "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip." Both shows are fighting for their lives, and last night, "FNL" did just slightly better than "S60" did in the past couple of weeks, and significantly better than it does in its Tuesday timeslot.
It did squander 40 percent of its "Heroes" lead-in audience ("Heroes" continues to get stronger), but one thing don't bode well for "Studio 60:" While its 7.7 million viewers last week represented the nadir (thusfar, at least) of a downward trend, "FNL's" 8.3 million last night suggests something of a shot in the arm for the show. Now, NBC will likely have to try the show in the timeslot yet again to make sure this wasn't some sort of fluke. Which, of course, could kill of any momentum "Studio 60" might've had at this point and ensure its demise.
Like I said, more definitive results last night, good or bad, would've been better news for NBC.
TMZ.com, dedicated to the noble cause of standing by and pointing while celebrities humiliate themselves, is throwing itself a little 1-year birthday bash on Nov. 8. They're trotting out the big guns for this one: Amongst those attending are The Barbi Twins, Shanna Moakler, Tera Patrick, Morgan Fairchild, Cheryl Burke, Samantha Harris - I had to Google most of the above to find out who they are.
Two names I recognized: Cuttino Mobley and Paul Davis of the L.A. Clippers. Hmm. I have Clippers tickets for Nov. 8. I wonder what Coach Mike Dunleavy thinks of having players who're going to play hooky so they can pay homage to a website whose main accomplishments are inspiring weeks of Mel Gibson jokes and filling the Internets with more images of Paris Hilton than one planet can possibly need and graphically demonstrating what a jerk Brandon Davis is - well, and for letting us know that Brandon Davis exists in the first place.
Place your bets: How long before the NSA pays a visit to whoever’s compiling that page?
Not five minutes after receiving notice that the previous blog entry got this comment:
"Studio 60 was just greenlighted for three more scripts, so its not quite dead just yet."
(Which is true, although as the Washington Post's Lisa de Moreas points out, "An order for three more scripts can be a death sentence. ... Don't break out the bubbly on any series just because it got an order for more scripts. By now the networks are announcing that they've ordered "the back nine" episodes on new shows. Ordering more scripts is damning with faint praise.")
... I read this story insisting that, in fact, it is dead. But the writer, Roger Friedman, only cites "insiders," with no actual quotes, includes the caveat that it's "likely" the show will be dumped, and has an obvious axe to grind with the show, noting he dislikes it: "No one cares whether or not the people from the Bartlett White House puts on a comedy show. That's what 'Studio 60' is, essentially: the 'West Wing' annual talent show. There's so much earnestness involved in this endeavour, you start to think that nuclear war will be declared if the 'Studio 60' staff doesn't air some joke—usually one we don't hear anyway."
Ouch. Not that he's wrong, but it sort of sounds like he's trying to drown the show in shallow bathwater singlehandedly.
The New York Times discovers today what we’ve been saying for quite some time now (and, in fact, warned in The Daily News’ Fall-TV preview in September – alas, the main story no longer seems to be online, so you’ll just have to take our word for this or, heaven forbid, pore through earlier posts here): There were too many serialized dramas on the networks’ schedules this season.
Though the network executives and the shows’ stars largely insisted to critics over the summer that if a show was good, viewers would watch regardless of the commitment required of them (Fox’s Peter Liguori was the lone network president to cop to some jitters), the new mantra is this, per NBC Entertainment president Kevin Reilly: “The message we received was that people have strains on their lives. People are saying, ‘I’ve got my handful of shows like this, and I don’t want more.’ �
Let’s examine the body count:
* “Smith� (CBS): Cancelled.
* “Runaway (The CW): Cancelled.
* “Kidnapped� (NBC): Ordered to wrap things up in 13 episodes and consigned to Saturdays.
* “Six Degrees� (ABC): Squandering away a whopping 60 percent of its lead-in, “Grey’s Anatomy,� whose doctors should put this thing on life support.
* “The Nine� (ABC): Losing half its “Lost� lead-in.
* “Vanished� (Fox): Consigned to Fridays.
* Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip� (NBC): From 13+ million viewers for its debut, down to 7.7.
* “Friday Night Lights� (NBC): A veritable non-starter. NBC will see if there’s any life in it by trying it “Studio 60’s� timeslot on Monday.
Certainly, there have been successes: NBC’s “Heroes� is proving addictive to viewers, and CBS’s “Jericho� and ABC’s “Brothers & Sisters� have been picked up for the full season, as well. ABC’s “Ugly Betty,� the season’s biggest success story, ironically enough tends toward stand-alone episodes even though it’s actually based on a telenovela. (Perhaps that's one of the reasons for its success.)
Apparently, members of the Television Critics Association could program the broadcast networks at least as effectively as those who actually do the job. And, boy, is that a scary thought.
Ironic fun fact behind the li'l dustup between the Dixie Chicks and NBC, which issued a statement that it "cannot accept" commercials for the new documentary "Shut Up and Sing" "as they are disparaging to the President" (has anyone at NBC gotten wind of what Keith Olbermann's up to over on MSNBC?): In 2002, the group shot a concert film for the network at Oscar's home, the Kodak Theatre, promoting their album "Home."
That, even though I'm pretty sure one of the songs on the album was entitled, "We're Also Ashamed of Jeff Zucker." As I recall, lead singer Natalie Maines spoke in subsequent interviews of how difficult the song was to write without a rhyming dictionary.
The CW also reported told the film's distributor that it did "not have appropriate programming in which to schedule this spot," like that's stopped them from running commercials for any other product.
Bill O'Reilly returned to "Late Show with David Letterman" Friday night, after his previous notorious appearance. Billo (as Keith Olbermann likes to call him; of course, Olbermann likes to call him "Bill Orally" and a host of other things even less flattering) was on his best behavior; it was Letterman who kept pouncing and O'Reilly who kept deflecting his insults with surprisingly good-natured responses like, "This whole thing is a big act. We're friends! We go bowling together." Bill even came out with a toy sword and shield symbolizing their previous clash, which Letterman declined to accept as the vaguely amusing goodwill gesture it represented.
Which is not to say O'Reilly was not combative; hell, it's wet-wired into his system. Rather than the War on Christmas, however, this time, the contentious subject was the War in Iraq. "Do you want America to win in Iraq?" Bill demanded of Dave. "It's an easy question."
"It's not an easy question for me because I'm thoughtful," Letterman replied.
Letterman was intent on ending the deaths of Americans, while O'Reilly pointed out that it could be unwise to withdraw American troops from the country because it might allow Iran to take control of the unstable region. At one point, O'Reilly reframed the debate, something at which he's quite artful, but Letterman would have none of it: "You're putting words in my mouth, just the way you put artificial facts in your head."
O'Reilly kept his cool, and Letterman almost became conciliatory - key word, "almost:" "I have no idea what I'm talking about but I think you don't either." Later, he conceded, "If I knew what I was talking about, I'd really have something. I'll take this next guy (his pal, comic Jeff Altman) apart."
Ah, what do you need my description for? You can see it here.
Hosting the Cardinals' World Series victory ceremony, Fox's Jeanne Zelasko declared to the fans of St. Louis: “Let’s give you what you’ve been waiting for: The Commissioner of Baseball!�
I thought the only way you can use the concepts of "waiting for" and "Bud Selig" in the same sentence is if it also includes the word "resign."
And remind me again why the Angels let David Eckstein go?
It was a film festival which required no travel, a film festival which, in fact, you can still attend even though it’s over. The first annual Third Screen Film Festival was conducted online; at a reception Thursday evening at the Museum for TV and Radio, you were offered the chance to watch the films on cell phones, which I couldn’t imagine why you’d want to given that they were also shown on large-ish plasma-screen TVs around the place.
Time then for, yes, your Mayor's favorite pastime, the panel discussion, this one entitled “What Will Be the Killer App in Wireless Entertainment?� Despite the name, I stuck around. Despite bad audio, I stuck around. Despite the first question being about marketing (when a panel begins with a discussion of how to make money off of little cartoons watched on cell phones, appearing on “To Catch a Predator� ceases to sound quite so hellish by comparison; New York Times TV critic Virginia Heffernan, to her credit, dismissed it as something “I don’t think about�), I stuck around. Despite a too-long discourse about what Lonelygirl15 means to the planet that missed what seemed a key point (could viral videos that aren’t actually viral videos but marketing ploys – Lonelygirl15 was made by people with CAA agents – end up torpedoing their overall popularity?) and ended with Chris Gore of Film Threat marveling, “It amazes me, the kind of crap that gets a million hits,� I stuck around. Despite phrases like “It’s about finding something that works,� “Rethink the concept of entertainment,� “So many places for people to get their content,� “Content is king,� and so many others (for such a nascent technology, it sure has inspired a lot of clichés already), I stuck around. Despite the fact that the most honest statement made was “Why do people need content on their phone? The answer is, they don’t� (this courtesy Daniel Tibbets of GoTV), I stuck around. Despite the fact that a lot of time could've been saved had someone merely quoted William Goldman's "Nobody knows anything" and called it an evening, I stuck around.
So what finally induced me to leave? Well, they were bound to run out of Merlot sometime.
In a move that will surprise or sadden absolutely no one, NBC has placed "20 Good Years" - which starred John Lithgow operating at 20 good decibels above anyone else on TV - on hiatus. And on Nov. 30, the network will introduce a new bloc of Sorta-See Thursday comedies: "Earl"/"Office"/"Scrubs"/"30 Rock." The Wednesday timeslot vacated by "30 Rock"/"20 Years" will be filled with a clutter of specials (including that Madonna thing) and repeats.
And check out the last two words of this quote from NBC's Kevin Reilly in today's Variety: "But (only) some of these shows are gonna get the chance to keep on going. I have to look at '20 Good Years,' 'Friday Night Lights' and, frankly, 'Studio 60.'"
Today’s Press Release of the Day is very special. It announces a merger of Marvel Comics – that of the one-time bad-boy, cool-ish persona, amongst young geeks, at least – and the daytime soap opera “Guiding Light,� which cheerfully bills itself as TV’s longest-running series. And no; I know what you’re thinking, but why would even I make this up?
Next Wednesday’s episode, just in time for Halloween to be over and people not to be so geared up about adults posing as superheroes, is entitled "She's a Marvel," and, per the press release, “focuses on mild mannered and harried cop, mother and wife Harley Davidson Cooper, played by Beth Ehlers. Zapped by an electrical current, Cooper finds herself infused with the energy, and is able to channel it, giving her the powers of a superhero – levitation and electricity conduction. How will her new powers affect her life?� How, indeed, beyond forcing Ms. Ehlers into participating in some low-rent special effects?
CBS doesn’t explain how this storyline will tuck neatly into all the usual furtive bed-hopping and back-stabbing that are staples of morning serials. But it’s interesting that the release only refers to one episode, and soap storylines play out for months. Perhaps Thursday’s episode will have the mild-mannered and harried Ms. Davidson Cooper awaking to discover it was all a bad dream and chuckling, embarrassed, to herself: What could she possibly have been thinking?
But, no! Several of Marvel’s titles will include the storyline, again, per the press release, “featuring some of Marvel's mightiest heroes (and villains) who will descend on 'Guiding Lights'' city of Springfield to determine if this new super powered being is friend or foe.� One of the comics to incorporate this staggeringly innovative narrative is - again, no kidding - “Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane,� a title that would’ve had far different implications when I was a kid in the’70s and likely wouldn’t’ve been approved by the Comics Code Authority. (It wouldn't have been particularly interesting, either, with Spidey too baked to slug it out with villains, just sitting on his couch in his apartment and staring at and being weirded out by his costume.)
"Joining forces with Marvel is such a natural fit for us because comic books and soap operas have so much in common," says a guy in the press release who’s clearly fooling no one. He goes on to say most of the rest of this: "Both feature long-running characters and larger-than-life stories that appeal to a loyal and passionate and sub-literate fan base.�
As visionary as this team-up may be, I’m certain all of Television is looking forward to “Guiding Lights� joining forces with online fan slash fiction and Marvel’s impending deal with Depends adult diapers, where all the superheroes incorporate the product into their Lycra costumes.
To hear Garry Trudeau tell it, there’s a very simple reason “Doonesbury� has lived to celebrate today, the 37th anniversary of its first appearance in print (oddly enough, the comic strip’s website shows the vanity of an aging starlet, copping only to a 35th anniversary): Aging, old-school newspaper publishers - who disliked or simply didn't get Trudeau's sensibility - dropping dead in droves through the ’70s.
“These guys said, ‘“Doonesbury� will run in my paper over my dead body,’ and sure enough, they got their wish,� Trudeau deadpanned in a Wednesday evening UCLA Live event at Royce Hall. Incoming, younger publishers were anxious to add his strip, he added.
Given how notoriously press-shy Trudeau is (he once had to cancel an interview with Time magazine after the prospect of it made him literally sick to his stomach), it’s sort of amazing he took to the stage, alone – and then spoke for 90 self-deprecating minutes – at all. (He did sit for a recent Washington Post interview, however.)
But he’s a fine, engaging and amusing public speaker. He began with a few potshots at Madonna and the crucifix routine from her latest concert tour, which given how big and easy the target was were pretty funny nonetheless. Next in line for potshots was his own generation: He noted a recent survey of Baby Boomers found that for them, “old� meant age 80, two years older than the average life expectancy; “So,� he concluded, “‘dead’ is the new ‘old.’�
From there, he spoke about the early days and evolution of the strip, showing clips from extracurricular activities he’s participated in such as the ’70s NBC special and the seminal ’80s HBO series “Tanner ’88.� And he spoke at length and poignantly about the inspiration for his ongoing, controversial-in-some-circles storyline featuring series regular B.D.’s losing his leg in the war in Iraq (he admitted to briefly considering killing B.D. off), and about his own visits to VA hospitals and how surprisingly upbeat they have been. Trudeau recently started a blog, “The Sandbox,� in which American troops in Iraq and Afghanistan are invited to share their experiences. The soldiers’ email addresses are included should you wish to correspond (or commiserate) with them.
He then took questions, and I am grateful to report that there was only one audience member bold enough to reveal how egregiously stupid and self-involved she was.
Here, however, is the strange thing: Yes, “Doonesbury� is 37, but it’s still a comic strip and, last I checked, comic strips were supposed to be read by younger audiences. Your Mayor is no spring chicken, but he was actually one of the younger people in attendance, with what seemed to be a vast majority of attendees old enough to be his parents. At an event on a college campus.
So: Either young people don’t read newspapers (OK, we all knew that one) or the comic strip once aimed at ’70s hipsters now has a fan base comprised of septuagenarians. What a long, strange trip it’s been, indeed.
Saw an ad recently for upcoming concerts at the Wiltern LG, and one show screamed: "DANE COOK'S TOURGASM." Which was the title, you might recall, of an HBO series/home movie featuring Cook and his buddies on a cross-country comedy tour that might've entertained in an I-like-anything-Dane-Cook's-in-even-this-dammit kind of way. Below that logo were the names of the other comics, in a much smaller typeface.
And below that, in an even tinier typeface, one for which magnifying glasses were invented, was an asterisk, followed by this:
Dane Cook will not be appearing on this show.
Nor will anyone who actually reads the fine print.
* Dane Cook will not be appearing in this item.
A reader writes in responding to today’s report on failing high-profile shows and NBC’s retreat from scripted programming in the 8 p.m. hour:
I don't see the recent announcement by NBC as some sort of death knell for broadcast TV. I think today's technology and production values can produce some very interesting programs that still don't cost the vast sums that the dramatic and comedy series do. Also I don't think Desi Arnaz, as smart as he was, foresaw the longevity of "I Love Lucy". He did the show on film because there was no video tape and he didn't want to do the show live which was the norm then. If it had been live they would have had to do it twice for both coasts. He filmed it so they could just do it once and he had to come up with a technique to film it in front of a live audience using three cameras and then a special editing machine to put the separate films together. Too bad he didn't opt for color too. In any event Desilu made their money based on one run and summer reruns, something that can't happen today.
What are your thoughts? Will smart minds figure out how to be clever and entertaining on shoestring budgets? Or is TV in trouble?
Forget the recent failures on the global front of teams USA in baseball and basketball: America ranks 53rd when it comes to freedom of the press, sliding from No. 17 just four years ago. That’s behind Bosnia and Herzogovina, Trinidad and Tobago, Germany, Italy, the Czech Republic, El Salvador and South Africa. Oh, well, at least we’re tied with Botswana and Tonga.
Actually, this suggests a surprisingly uncanny strategy when it comes to the war on terror. Our Administration, convinced “the terrorists hate our freedom,� have instituted warrantless wiretapping, scuttled Habeas Corpus, scrapped Article III of the Geneva convention and run ads insisting that terrorists will kill you if you don’t vote Republican.
Look, Mr. Terrorists: No freedom here. Why don’t you go take a look at the Netherlands?
but I need to steal the Mayor's publicity machine for a few minutes.
In case you missed the post from a few days ago, the Mayor of Television is prepared to host his first press conference - in podcast format. The Mayor will launch his new podcast next week, and he wants questions from you, the people of Television.
Post questions in the comment section below, then come back here next week - and every week - to listen to the Mayor's podcast.
Do you watch TV? If so, you may qualify for an exciting government job!
According to the Sun, the commercials are designed to appeal to the gaming generation:
“Describing Lost as a television variation on ‘Dungeons and Dragons,’ CIA veteran Ron Marks said its viewers are exactly the ones the NSA should be recruiting. ‘What a wonderful way of reaching an audience that's interested in problem-solving and thinking differently,’ he said.�
I know I certainly would want to place national security in the hands of couch potatoes with plenty of time on their hands to patiently sit through all of “Lost’s� obfuscations. Would they be issued real guns? Hope not; guns’d be reserved for the people they recruit through “24� and “The Unit.� And those guns would likely not require safeties.
But other government agencies should follow the NSA’s lead and recruit viewers of other shows for their departments. A few ideas (and feel free to add your own):
The Environmental Protection Agency: “Jackass.� Its viewers already have a keen knowledge of waste materials.
The Office of Management and Budget: “Numb3rs.� And they can start playing yowling guitar music in their offices to make solving math problems look really cool.
The Centers for Disease Control: “House.� Actually, rather than the viewers, they should just recruit House.
The Federal Judiciary: “Shark.� “Justice,� not so much, since that show’s mainly about freeing the accused.
The Government Accountability Office: Actually, is this still up and running? Is there any accountability in government anymore? For that matter, is there any accountability in television anymore?
The House of Representatives: “Jackass,� again.
And fans of “According to Jim,� “’Til Death,� “My Name is Earl,� “The King of Queens� and “The Simpsons� would all be naturals for FEMA, as they already have an affinity for bumbling oafs.
“With every answer come more questions,� declared the promo for next week’s episode of “Heroes� at the conclusion of Monday’s installment. While I’m not sure that’s the best way to tout the show – isn’t that how “Lost� hacked off a sizable chunk of its fan base? – I do know this: “Save the cheerleader; save the world� is a brilliant tag line.
If for all the wrong reasons.
Anyway, tonight’s episode of “Heroes� certainly inspired a bunch of questions. To wit:
Can’t someone convince Milo Ventimiglia to cut or at least comb his hair? Or is brushing his bangs out of his eyes what passes for his nervous character development? Clearly, the thing he did with his eyes tonight suggests he doesn't really need them.
Wouldn’t Hiro (Masi Oka) have learned from that comic book predicting his future not to win so much money at poker from the casino goons?
Likewise, wouldn’t the mind-reading cop (Greg Grunberg) have known not to trust Mr. Spectacles? And if he’s gonna have a romantic evening with his wife, couldn’t he at least have shaved for it?
Couldn’t they have come up with better backstories for the female heroes than “stripper� (Ali Larter) and “cheerleader� (Hayden Panettiere)?
Aren’t some of the artist’s (Santiago Cabrera) depictions of the future maddeningly vague?
Was it just me or were there about 10 commercial breaks littered throughout the episode? Is that what happens when a show becomes a hit? Next week, will they announce: “We’ll return to the commercials after another two and a half minutes of ‘Heroes’?�
And, pursuing that point: Wouldn’t anyone who has the wherewithal to purchase a Lexus already be vaguely adept at parallel parking?
Still, “Heroes� is progressing acceptably, particularly now that they’re giving Adrian Pasdar scenes worthy of the chops he demonstrated in the short-lived Fox series “Profit.� It’s doing an OK job of mixing and matching its disparate characters, if occasionally in a fashion that requires the old trope of “willful suspension of disbelief.� But if there’s a show that demands a willful suspension of disbelief, it’s “Heroes,� and so far, it’s rewarding those willing to make that leap.
Then, against my better judgment, I hung around for “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip,� which continues to be hellbent to utterly alienate Middle America. Tonight continued its condescension toward Midwestern audiences – one of the characters (Nathan Corddry) grew up in Ohio, where apparently his parents never heard of Abbott and Costello’s famous “Who’s on First?� routine. Your Mayor grew up in the Midwest, and his father was a huge fan of Abbott and Costello and knows quite a bit about many of Golden-Age radio and TV performers. Honest, Mr. Sorkin: They’re not all rubes out there; many of them have a keen appreciation of the entertainment industry’s past.
Which was an overriding theme in Monday’s show, which attempted to vacuum pathos out of a blacklisted writer. While it’s true that many in the TV industry today have absolutely no appreciation for the history of the business that’s signing their lucrative checks, and while it’s honorable that Aaron Sorkin felt the need to right that wrong, tonight’s installment felt schematic, synthetic and preachy in a way that early “West Wing� episodes didn’t. These points can be made in an actually entertaining and not overly earnest fashion.
Too bad: The episode once again featured brilliant work from Matthew Perry (once this show is cancelled, someone needs to immediately cook up for him an equally wryly flawed character), and gave D.L. Hughley a couple scenes in which to shine, whether or not they were actually accomplishedly written. And, again, though while filling in a lot of character development for many of the principals, the episode’s overall thrust – most of it was set at a wrap party – provided further alienation from the rest of the real world that merely watches television and isn’t given the opportunity to mingle with glamour, bimbos or some combination thereof.
Perhaps the most fascinating aspect of tonight's episode: the notion that traffic on Sunset Boulevard late on a Friday night would move apace without anything approaching utter gridlock.
Lucky, lucky Fox. The network, which has always quietly considered its postseason baseball coverage a momentum-stalling albatross around the neck of its fall-season launch, got stuck with a match-up that doesn’t exactly lure in the casual fans for boffo ratings, Tommy Lasorda’s antic promotions notwithstanding. Detroit/St. Louis, two sturdy midmarket teams from what the coasts call Flyover Country with few superstars (Pujols and Pudge, and then debate what you mean by superstar).
Good teams, to be sure, but Fox obviously would be hoping for Yankees-Anybody or, failing that, Mets-A’s – get the whole country involved. Saturday’s audience was less that 12 million, down significantly from last year’s Game One.
No wonder Rogers hates sports cameramen.
There are differing accounts and conspiracy theories about what it was: Rogers insists it was “a big clump of dirt� that he didn’t even notice was there, though as ESPN’s John Kruk later pointed out, how do you not notice something like that, particularly a pitcher, whose pitching hand is a highly calibrated instrument? And if it was just some dirt, why didn’t it completely rinse away when Rogers washed his hands? (Rogers said no one told him to; his own manager disputes that.) According to reports, Fox says it has images from other games showing shmegma on Roger’s pitching hand. And, of course, Rogers was equally dominating after he washed his hands.
So which is this: The heartening, inspirational turnaround for a 41-year-old pitcher whose previous postseason work was journeymanlike at best, or sinister forces conspiring to create one of the most astonishing October performances in history? So Joe Buck and Tim McCarver have all the conversational fodder they need for the next few games, while not-so-secretly praying that neither team sweeps while in St. Louis: Getting to Game Six in Detroit with Rogers back on the mound will ensure a huge audience.
Time’s Jamie Poniewozik offers an inventive salve for what’s ailing NBC. Since the network no longer seems to want to spend money on scripted programming in the 8 p.m. hour of primetime, and since its newscast featuring Brian Williams is the most successful amongst the networks, why not put it in primetime, where even more people would have a chance to see it?
Poniewozik concedes there are more than a few kinks to work out in his idea, but notes: “ABC, CBS and NBC have a half-hour in the evening they can't get enough people to watch, and an hour at night they can't afford to fill. … The networks weren't going to give their news divisions an hour each night as long as prime time was still, well, prime. But now that it's been devalued, the time may be right to ask again: why not kill two birds with one stone--or, rather, try to cure two dying birds with one operation?�
This, of course, would prevent NBC from acting on its dream of a Howie Mandel-dominated primetime schedule cluttered with suitcase-brandishing models and excitable contestants possessing no discernible intellectual prowess. But a Mayor can dream, can’t he?
Duncan Hunter, offended that CNN aired footage of an insurgent sniper shooting at American troops, wrote Donald Rumsfeld, who has bigger things on his plate right now than censoring war coverage, that “CNN has now served as the publicist for an enemy propaganda film featuring the killing of an American soldier.�
OK, if you don’t want your constituents to see graphic footage of people being shot, maybe you don’t vote to authorize the war in the first place. But Hunter’s “this is propaganda and CNN is the terrorist’s publicity machine� logic utterly eludes me: Viewers see an insurgent shoot an American soldier, and all of a sudden they’ll become sympathetic to them? What kind of Bizarro World thinking is that? Does Hunter truly believe that viewers automatically side with whoever is depicted engaging in a show of force? It seems to me such reportage gives Americans a better sense of the difficulties our troops are confronting there, and therefore a greater appreciation of their courage and sacrifice. And perhaps – and this may be what concerns Duncan – a sense of protectiveness toward them and a renewed desire to take them out of harm’s way as the news remains bleak out of Iraq.
Anyway, last I checked, the purpose of journalism was to strive to convey all sides of a story, and perhaps it might be valuable for Americans to understand the enemy they face in Iraq. But here’s a proposed compromise: Every so often, CNN promises to air a half-hour show, “Duncan Hunter’s Happy-Time Fun News,� in which all is going swimmingly well in Iraq and the insurgents aren’t permitted any point-of-view beyond frothing-at-the-mouth menace and everyone is all big resolute smiles like in those swelling, patriotically themed pickup truck commercials and Duncan Hunter is the greatest, bravest, strongest and smartest Congressman in the World. And then, that out of the way, they get back to news for the rest of us.
Being a man of distinguished letters, your Mayor received his first issue of The New York Review of Books in the mail this week. (Hey, the newsprint alone probably costs them more than what I’m forking out.)
It contains a long and interesting essay on Colin Powell’s efforts to rehabilitate his once-sterling reputation; a piece by Joyce Carol Oates who apparently has plenty of downtime while cranking out a book or two a year and therefore takes a sweeping look at Margaret Atwood’s canon; a nice review of a Jimmy Stewart biography that somehow neglects to observe that I interviewed the man twice; an appreciation of William Gass, an author I’ve personally found easier to appreciate than to actually read; a review of a Colson Whitehead novel that I read months ago (true, the review is vastly more insightful than mine, but at least mine was timely); something to depress you about Iran and the usual America-is-bad-for-your-health roundelays.
Heady stuff, to be sure. So after assiduously working my way through much of this material, I arrive at the back of the magazine and discover that it has suddenly transformed itself into the classified-ads section of the L.A. Weekly. To wit:
“EROTIC CONVERSATIONS with sensual, intelligent woman, any topic welcome. Visa/MC/AmEx.�
“EROTIC, INTELLIGENT, IMAGINATIVE CONVERSATION. Uninhibited exploration of your sexual fantasies. Discretion assured.�
“INDULGE IN A FETISH SESSION with discreet lady in the privacy of her fully equipped London Knightsbridge apartment.�
“EROTIC EXPLOSION. Let me blow your mind, your ultimate erogenous zone. Provocative talk with educated beauty. No limits.�
“TANTRIC PAMPERING BY MATURE BEAUTY. Private, elegant, East Side suite.�
And so on. Apparently, the stereotype is true: Bookish types are in no way equipped to deal with, as they say, “the ladies.�
In a way, one should be impressed by the way these advertisements (please: Read the word after the British fashion: ad-VERT-iss-ments) strive to emphasize their elitist natures over their more obviously brazenly salacious appeals to lonely if intellectually accomplished guys who just feel the need to, well, you know. On the other hand, the pretense feels utterly fake. What are these women going to say to their ostensibly erudite clients, anyway: “Oh, I’m Madame Bovary, feel free to ravish me, you scoundrel!� Trashy advertising may be, indeed, trashy, but at least it’s more honest.
And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a pressing appointment with Lady Darlington.
Stephen Colbert is auctioning off the painting of him standing in front of another painting of him that has proudly graced the set of "The Colbert Report" for the past year. It can be yours, but you're gonna need at least nine grand to even be competitive. (Where were these moneybags when I was trying to unload my Elvis Pressley lamp?)
Proceeds go to charity, or so the auction page suggests. But if I know Colbert (and I don't), he'll find a way to pocket the cash. Auction ends Oct. 30.
For an upcoming podcast - I know, I know, just what the world needs: another podcast - your Mayor will answer your questions. (If he knows the answers - what am I saying? Of course he'll know the answers.)
Ask anything, about any show, any network, any of your Mayor's policies, how he plans to combat the blight of reality programming that NBC is developing for its arsenal, what he's wearing, how you can get a hat like the one Napoleon wore, would you really want a doctor like House, do we really need Daylight Savings Time, is there a God, what is true happiness, how in a world gripped by fear and peril one finds the will to press on, Tigers or Cardinals (well, I'll answer that one here: Tigers), crystal meth or Pepsi One, what's Madonna thinking anyway, shouldn't I be getting out more, anything.
Leave your queries here. My people will get around to forcing me to do the podcast soon, so time is of the essence. But then, time is always of the essence.
… mainly by pink-slipping them.
Nonetheless, Your Mayor has had a most engaging, if utterly fictitious, conversation with Mr. Zucker, who defended his positions involving laying off 750 NBC employees and ratcheting up the number of reality- and game shows his network will be airing in the future.
Remember, Mr. Zucker is the man who took NBC from the No. 1 powerhouse it used to be to the network that relied upon shows such as “Fear Factor� and “The Apprentice� (on Must-See Thursdays, no less), and still managed to get lucrative promotions. So, clearly, one must be careful in one’s questioning of Mr. Zucker, whose stellar ascendance can only be compared to characters in sundry “Omen� movies.
Q: How do you justify erasing scripted shows from your schedule in the 8 o’clock hour?
Zucker: I've had an uplifting and heartwarming conversation with fellow citizens of all ages from across our country who are supporting our shows. These folks don't really care about politics; what they care about is how best to send a strong message to the men and women who wear our uniform that America supports “Studio 60� and “Friday Night Lights.�
Q: Um, again: How do you justify erasing scripted shows from your schedule in the 8 o’clock hour?
Zucker: And I want to thank you all for coming, and I appreciate what you're doing. Defaker.com was a website where our employees could help until we yanked it. You can become a part of a group and find out ways that you can support our men and women in uniform. These are brave, courageous people who deserve the full support of the American citizenry.
Q: NBC’s methods regarding how the network will divine quality scripted series from trashy reality shows remains unclear. Can you provide some enlightenment for Television’s Concerned Citizens?
Zucker: We cannot discuss the specific methods that our intelligence agents use to question reality-show producers because doing so would help the terrorists train against our techniques. What I can say is that the interrogation program has been extremely successful, and it has directly helped us to capture many showrunners pitching “Deal or No Deal� rip-offs and to disrupt future plots involving “According to Jim� writers. In addition, I want to assure you that while our interrogation methods may be tough, they are carefully reviewed to ensure that they are safe and that they are lawful. NBC does not engage in torture, except in cases in which it does. We impose these restrictions on ourselves not out of any expectation that Fox or ABC would show similar restraint—indeed, other networks torture and behead their captives, and air the results before we can on “To Catch a Predator� episodes of “Dateline: NBC.� We do reaffirm our respect for our values and the standards of civilized networks, only because it sounds good and, if we didn’t, the liberal media would be all over our asses.
Q: You have been assailed for embracing unscripted programming even as ABC and Fox have been profiting off of it. But the Land of Television needs to alleviate the fears of its viewers that its programming will be tasteful.
Zucker: I agree with you that we are safest when we are able to capture game-show showrunners and disrupt their plots before they get onto the air. New laws allow our military and intelligence personnel to detain and remove reality-show producers from the battlefields of this conflict, and to collect from them the vital intelligence that will enable us to capture their associates and break up future terrorist plots and figure out how they’re in league with Jim Belushi. Once we capture them, the new law provides for effective and fair procedures that will allow us to bring those terrorists to justice for their crimes against United States citizens.
Q: The United States has defended itself successfully for 230 years without resorting to "alternative means" of interrogation, which is the term the Mayor of Television used to describe what this law does. Why is this law necessary now, versus the many other wars we have successfully fought without it?
Zucker: The War on Unscripted Programming is a new kind of war, which we are fighting against a new kind of enemy. Our enemies here do not fight on behalf of a nation state, they do not seek to meet us on the battlefield, and they recognize no principles of international law. Rather, our enemies seek to avoid direct confrontation with our military, hiding in the shadows, until they can strike out at civilians around the world by uncorking a show like “1 Vs. 100.� And while, philosophically, I embrace this mindset, political correctness insists I take a vaguely brusque swing at it.
Q: What legal recourse does an innocent suspect have under the new legislation? Specifically, I am deeply concerned about what would happen if someone less honorable than the current Mayor of Television chose to use the new laws for unlawful purposes, such as punishing political opponents or those who would allow Flavor Flav to continue to have reality shows. Without the right to legal council, habeas corpus, or trial under US criminal law, how would a falsely accused "suspect" defend themselves and gain their freedom?
Zucker: I want to make one thing clear: The Television Commissions Act does not apply to American citizens. Of course, we also must be concerned about the rights of even those who would produce reality programming. NBC has no wish to detain anyone who is not a terrorist or an enemy combatant, and both the Television Commissions Act, and our existing laws, provide those individuals with the opportunity to demonstrate their innocence before military tribunals and independent federal courts.
Q: If this law is enacted then a person designated as unlawful enemy combatant does not have the right to challenge their imprisonment nor do they have the right to a speedy trial. They can be held indefinitely even if they were an American citizen. If you, Mr. Zucker, were arrested and classified as an unlawful enemy combatant and you were an innocent person, what course of action would you take?
Zucker: Again, I want to emphasize that the Television Commissions Act does not apply to financially successful citizens. Thus, if I or any other wealthy American citizen were detained, we would have access to the full panoply of rights that we enjoyed before the law, not to mention we’d have lobbyists who would get us released, no questions asked.
Q: Why is it necessary to suspend the writ of habeas corpus as part of the Military Tribunal Act? I take writ of habeas corpus to mean a legal proceeding in which an individual held in custody can challenge the propriety of that custody under the law. Isn't this writ intended to allow prisoners to challenge a potential mistake in their detainment? When you look back, years from now, will you be proud of this?
Zucker: I am very proud of the Television Commissions Act of 2006, and every American should share that pride. To explain why, allow me first to clear up some widely held misconceptions.
First, the new law should not be understood to "suspend" the writ of habeas corpus for enemy combatants. Habeas corpus is a civilian remedy, and civilians count for sh!t in the world of TV. All of us are in Television are too successful to care about actual human beings. Thus, every American should be proud of the Television Commissions Act of 2006. Future generations will look back and commend us for recognizing the threat of prime-time game shows and taking every possible step-consistent with American values and the rule of law-to defeat it.
We're certain that this post of outtakes of our interview with James Woods had something to do with it. That, or the fact that the Daily News didn't run the "Shark" story two days ago.
Whatever my direct involvement might have been, CBS has picked up Woods' "Shark" for the full season. It edged "ER" last night and joins NBC's "Heroes," CBS's "Jericho" and ABC's "Ugly Betty" and "Whiners & Self-Pitiers" - er, sorry, "Brothers & Sisters" - among new shows to survive at least 22 episodes.
That's the "Shark;" here's the chum, though merely mentioning it brings it more attention than it no doubt deserves: "Runaway" has entered the history books by becoming the first show to ever be cancelled by the powerhouse network The CW. It was the lowest-rated broadcast network show from its premiere, clinging with a fierce tenacity to that position for the couple of weeks it was roundly ignored on the air. Damn! Now we'll never know if the guy ever cleared his name and his family quit having to be on the lam and the kids managed satisfying social lives while living utter lies.
While waiting for all that great new reality and game-show programming NBC has promised us in the future, here's a little brain teaser:
NBC has two struggling programs, "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" and "Friday Night Lights."
"Studio 60" launched fairly strongly, but has stumbled significantly since then. It was created by Aaron Sorkin, who's responsible for the long-running NBC hit "The West Wing," and stars Matthew Perry, Bradley Whitford and Steven Weber, who have all appeared on phenomenally successful NBC shows.
"Friday Night Lights" stumbled out of the gate. Its EP is Peter Berg and its star is Kyle Chandler, both of whom appeared on CBS dramas.
Question: Which of these shows will NBC throw under the bus first?
Wrong!
On Monday, Oct. 30, NBC will pre-empt "Studio 60" and in its place run an episode of "Friday Night Lights." Hoping, apparently, that it will draw the same young audience that is swarming to "Heroes."
Your Mayor has warned that detractors of our grand landscape, such as this critic, who apparently considers himself a minor-league Keith Olbermann, only serve to provide solace to our enemies, and today, the gravest possible proof was provided as a threat to Television’s vitality was exposed. NBC announced today that it planned to work in league with the renegades producing reality television and primetime game shows and will abandon scripted programming in its 8 p.m. timeslots across its schedule.
That, and they’re laying off 700 loyal employees.
Oh, and that they hope to eviscerate their news division with deep budget cuts.
One sort of have to wonder about a network that all but announces, “Ah, this TV thing is a passing fad. We’re throwing in the towel and will stick to short films on the Internets.�
Then again, you do have to feel for NBC. They began the 2006-07 season with a stable of slick, not-unpromising new series – well, and “20 Good Years� – and high hopes. And look at the results:
* “Kidnapped:� Good cast, good reviews; couldn’t buy an audience; shipped to Saturdays where it will pass on unnoticed.
* “Friday Night Lights:� Ecstatic reviews, even lower ratings.
* “30 Rock:� Mixed reviews; rampant viewer disinterest.
* “20 Good Years:� Nearly beaten in viewership last night by a show on Bravo.
* And, of course, “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip:� Tons of advance attention, given its impressive cast and impresario of a creator; has shed nearly half its original audience within a month and, worse, got beat this week by “What About Brian.� The performance of this Matthew Perry vehicle is almost enough to get NBC executives nostalgic about "Joey."
Clearly, the success of “Heroes� has not been enough to rescue NBC, which has seen its cheesefest game shows “Deal or No Deal� and “1 Vs. 100� pull far more spectacular numbers than its pricy, high-end series. It’s like having Ford Aspires outperform a fleet of Lexuses (Lexi?).
And so, NBC – whose slogan was, a lifetime ago, “The Quality Shows� – has become the Ford Aspire Network. The network will soon fill its 8 p.m. timeslots with cheap-to-produce and no doubt intellectually stimulating reality fare and more game shows that require the same sort of mental prowess required to select a suitcase in “Deal or No Deal.�
But one wonders whether NBC, which apparently has been shocked by the revelation that programming a broadcast network is an expensive proposition, has gone far enough in its budget-slashing ways. Here are a few more ideas for the network to save some money:
* Those suitcase models on “Deal or No Deal� no doubt are paid something; wouldn’t it be cheaper for the show to hire cute dogs? Of course, that would necessitate the creation of a craft-services table (the models obviously aren’t eating anything), but then again, it would just have to be stocked with kibble.
* While we’re at it, those suitcases look pretty pricey. Couldn’t they just use paper bags that Howie Mandel and the show’s crew bring from home after their visits to Trader Joe’s?
* Much less costly show: “1 Vs. 3.�
* Force any cast member of “The Office� not directly involved in a scene to perform actual clerical work for the network in the backgrounds of shots.
* Get Masi Oka’s character on “Heroes� – who can bend the time-space continuum – to bring time to a halt, then sneak into Nielsen family homes and switch the channels to NBC.
* End ongoing production of “Law & Order� shows and just run repeats. There’re so many episodes out there, how many people would notice, really?
* New 9 p.m. Tuesday series: “What’s on Fox?� New 9 p.m. Thursday series: “What’s on ABC?�
* Ask President Bush to pretty-please end the war in Iraq, citing a need to put an end to costly coverage. Or just borrow a page from “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart’s� playbook and have correspondents report in front of greenscreens. Or just have Brian Williams read the newspaper to viewers.
* Hire amateurs to write and star in “Saturday Night Live.� Couldn’t get any worse.
Don't get too attached to "Friday Night Lights:" It's collapsed to a mere 6.6m viewers. Perhaps it'll join "Kidnapped" on Saturday nights, and NBC can tout the evening as the broadcast equivalent of the Island of Misfit Toys.
Don't get too attached to "Help Me Help You," either: It fritters away half of its massive "Dancing with the Stars" lead-in audience, from 23.1m at 9 p.m. to 10.9m when Ted Danson appears to dispense dubious advice at 9:30.
Speaking of "Dancing with the Stars," would the people from the infotainment programs cluttering my email inbox with breathless reports of what the nanny of a "celebrity" most of us hadn't heard of until she appeared on this show has to say about these salacious and ugly divorce proceedings please direct your attentions to the Mayor of Country Music or the Mayor of Unemployed Republican Fundraisers? Because I, for one, do not care and will not bring myself to care no matter how many emails you send me. My "delete" button, however, appreciates the workout.
Meanwhile, while the women of "Gilmore Girls" remain young and vital, the show itself is showing its age. It's lost more than a million viewers from last season, and when you consider it was only being watched by about 6 million people last season, that's not encouraging, unless you're "Friday Night Lights," in which case you can actually point to a TV show you beat in the ratings. But while "Girls" isn't going wild, The CW will no doubt trumpet the fact that "Veronica Mars" has improved ever so slightly - 190,000 viewers, to be precise - from last season. And The CW will take its good news where it can find it.
Attention all YouTube contributors: Judges for The George Foster Peabody Awards, heretofore TV's most prestigious award, want you to pester them for one of their trophies. "Original broadcast, cablecast and webcast programs presented in 2006 are eligible," their press release reads, so that means you.
Give them an avalanche of entries so overwhelming their eyes'll be bloodshot for months. I'm pretty sure if Aleksey Vayner - which seems misspelled and grammatically incorrect simultaneously; shouldn't it be "more vain?" - submits his video resume, he'd have to add another page to his 11-page resume including his Peabody victory.
Apply online here. Entry deadline January 17, 2007.
James Woods is an interviewer’s best friend. When I spoke to Woods recently for today’s Daily News story on “Shark� (link to come), I could’ve essentially turned on my tape recorder, left Woods’ trailer and returned later to find he had filled my tape with bon mots.
(UPDATE: One of the privileges of holding such a high position of power such as Mayor is that you can place so many lackeys between you and those who report to you that you virtually create a buffer zone preventing you from hearing what's actually going on in the world. And so it goes here, as I was told "Shark" would appear in the Oct. 18 Daily News. Instead, the paper ran a cover story on a movie which over this past weekend lured a mere 260 or so ticket-buyers to each of the 179 theaters at which it played rather than "Shark," which averages 14 million viewers a week.
Ah, well. Perhaps this will make you hungry to read more whenever the story runs.)
Here’re a few of his comments that didn’t make it into the story:
On gossip around another popular show:
“A very high source told me on a show involving some very high-profile women that literally they had to stop shooting one day because one of the trailers was 18 inches closer to the set than someone else’s trailer, and that once a day they have to alternate whose trailer is closest to the set.�
On his description at imdb.com, which reads: “Leanly built, strangely handsome, with intense eyes and a sometimes untrustworthy grin.�
“That’s really nicely put. I really love that. Whoever wrote that’s a f@&^in’ poet. Robert Frost wrote my description at imdb.com – I like the whole concept. That’s a very accurate description, as a persona – it has nothing to do with me as a person. But as an onscreen persona, I’d say that’s a pretty accurate description. What kind of handsome am I?�
“Strangely handsome.�
“I guess.� To his dog, Angel: “You’re strangely handsome and your face is covered with hair.�
Abandoning film for TV:
“I look at movies and they’re all so f@&^ing terrible. People ask, ‘Why aren’t movies more successful?’ It’s really a simple answer: It’s because they stink. Three simple words: Because they f@&^ing stink. That’s four words, but you can’t write the f@&^ing word. They stink, they stink, they stink, what’s wrong with you? They stink. Do better movies. … Finally, I saw a good movie – ‘The Departed.� And look what it took: It took Marty Scorsese, Matt Damon, Mark Wahlberg, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jack Nicholson, (screenwriter) Bill Monahan – and it’s based on another movie.�
On the support he has received since the recent death of his brother, Michael:
“You cannot explain it to anyone else; there’s just no way to explain it. But yet – people are so deeply lovely in their support. The other day I got flowers from Virginia Madsen, with a note that said, ‘I’m glad you and your brother got to take that last trip.’ What a great thing, how considerate – I know Virginia just very casually, the way people in the business know each other. And her show (“Smith�) just got cancelled, so in her troubles, she’s sending me flowers – how nice is she? It’s a perfect example of how lovely people have been.�
On his show’s success:
“I like to use the metaphor of my buddy Dan Tana. At his (restaurant’s) 40th anniversary, somebody asked me, ‘Why do you think his restaurant’s successful?’ I said, ‘It’s really very simple. He serves good food and it’s a comfortable place to stick your ass while you’re eating it.’ It’s not rocket science. You know these places: You go in and there’s some froufrou guy has fixed everything and they spent five million dollars on the f@&^ing chandeliers and you’re eating some crap on a plate with a bunch of swirly crap on it. If they give you steak, French fries and a f@&^in’ booth, they’ll be in business for a hundred years. You think some guy wants to sit perched on a little wooden chair eating a sliver of somebody’s liver?�
And, honestly, that last quote did in fact comment on his show: How it’s a meat-and-potatoes program that makes the viewer feel comfortable. See?
Like any number of politicians or their apparatchiks, good, bad, possibly well-meaning but potentially misguided or even far, far worse, your Mayor fancies himself quite the wordsmith, and has in recent years been tinkering off and on (mainly off) with a novel.
It is – or was – a comic picaresque in which some 190 million Americans (and millions more the world over) are felled by a militarized virus created by terrorists, told from the point of view of a few baked couch potatoes in Wyoming, who while away the post-Apocalypse watching cable news networks who simply can’t help themselves: They strive (miserably) to try to find happy-news segments behind the calamity and continue to trot out partisan talking heads to bicker over the increasingly erratic behavior of government officials.
One character contributes gamely to The New York Times’ follow-up to its post-9/11 “Portraits in Grief� series, attempting to commemorate the millions of dead in brief, glib thumbnail biographies: “James ‘Jimmy’ Picket sure did like his model train sets….� But mainly, things grow more dire for the world as our toasted protagonists sit listlessly, mocking the bloviating blowhards on the television before them (a character notes that the disaster cuts the anti-drum-machine bumper-sticker campaign off at its knees).
Eventually, President Armitage “Army� Shanks (been to Europe? You might get the joke), citing the “safety� of all surviving Americans, orders them into “security camps.� Roused from their stupor, our “heroes� try to escape to Canada, but, really, the game is up.
So much for that. Today, reality trumped my little cautionary tale. Perhaps for my next novel, I’ll just hack out a winsome coming-of-age tale or, per Gingrich and Boxer, a slightly smutty political thriller.
"Everybody Hates Chris" is easily the series most egregiously wounded by the compression of The WB and UPN into The CW. Last season, it averaged about 5 million viewers on Thursday nights, a pretty impressive stat given how competitive that night is. Last night, the first night of original programming since The CW flopped its Sunday and Monday lineups, it garnered a mere 3 million -- and that was actually a mild improvement on how it was doing on Sundays.
That switch didn't prove to be the panacea The CW was hoping for: Its comedies received only a nominal bump from their ratings opposite "Sunday Night Football" and "60 Minutes," while "Seventh Heaven" and "Runaway" got absolutely rolled on Sunday. (As miserably as all these shows are doing, they actually did a smidgen better the other way around.) Simply put, The CW doesn't have any shows that can go up against the big guns of Sunday night (UPN, in its decade of existence, never programmed the evening; The WB did, though hardly with encouraging results).
Greg Hernandez offers a trenchant look at The CW's woes in today's Daily News. Key quote: "It's like two poor people getting married: Once they get married, they're still poor."
In other news: Last night, ABC's "What About Brian" - a show that did so poorly last season no one could figure out why ABC returned it to the schedule (except for the fact that not doing so would've meant the network went 0-for-2005/06 in new programming) - actually beat "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip." This is starting to get ugly.