An Item About Dane Cook *

Saw an ad recently for upcoming concerts at the Wiltern LG, and one show screamed: "DANE COOK'S TOURGASM." Which was the title, you might recall, of an HBO series/home movie featuring Cook and his buddies on a cross-country comedy tour that might've entertained in an I-like-anything-Dane-Cook's-in-even-this-dammit kind of way. Below that logo were the names of the other comics, in a much smaller typeface.

And below that, in an even tinier typeface, one for which magnifying glasses were invented, was an asterisk, followed by this:

Dane Cook will not be appearing on this show.

Nor will anyone who actually reads the fine print.

* Dane Cook will not be appearing in this item.