David Kronke was appointed Mayor of Television after a bloodless coup in 2000. Since then, he has improved infrastructure, championed greater educational opportunities and fought for reforms that have utterly erased corruption and incompetence from the television industry. Since Mr. Kronke has ascended to power, Television is a far better place. How "The O.C." smells
Fox is desperately attempting to resurrect its threadbare melodrama "The O.C.," which returns Nov. 2 - it sent critics the first four episodes of its new season (Fox wasn't nearly so anxious for critics to get such a distinct sense of any of its new shows this season; given how that crop is doing, perhaps the network was wise to withhold multiple episodes for review). And they thoughtfully included a bottle of something called "The O.C. for Her," a - well, perfume seems too misleading a word; scent, perhaps? No: Eau de Toilette. Emphasis you know where.
Press Release of the Day touts said, um, fragrance, which, it declares, "capture(s) the glamorous and seductive lifestyle of this Newport Beach community." It then goes into a rapturous description of the subtle nuances of the smelly water, launching into the sort of detail a semiotics professor would reserve for Proust:
"Top Notes: Juicy mandarin combines with exuberant florals to lend 'The O.C. for Her' a delighfully fruity, floral aura that also has a modern, refreshingly classic side.
"Middle Notes: Hibiscus, tuberose, jasmine, freesia and fruity accents of white peach, guava and nectarine make it light and ideal for all day, yet sultry like a summer night's kiss.
"Base Notes: A rich foundation of white amber, sweet vanilla and clear musk make anyone feel beautiful, confident and daringly female."
Well, if you say so. Who writes this stuff?
The copy also moons over the bottle -- seriously, the bottle, a simple rectangular piece of glass unremarkable in the canon of perfumeries. But no: "A vibrantly colored glass bottle accented with a metallic stylized cap reflects the energetic spirit of today's design and fashion trends. Edgy dancing waves and tattoo-like floral vines depict a seductive, carefree day in Southern California."
Who am I to argue? But I will report that at great personal danger, your Mayor did spritz a bit of this into a barely controlled environment, and you know all that stuff they said above? Not so much. It smells more like a sickly sweet energy beverage, carbonation included. But it's not as bad as one imagines a whiff of Mischa Barton and her boyfriend might be like in her fashion portfolio over on Go Fug Yourself.
Nonetheless, this apparently has the folks over at "CSI" (which is on opposite "O.C.") concerned, because in their effort to remain fresh and girly-smelling, they've cast Roger Daltrey for an upcoming episode (guess K-Fed wasn't available to reprise his beloved role as "Young Tough"). Daltry's band The Who, of course, provides the main-title music for all "CSI" shows; he will appear in what the network describes as "a surprise role that will keep viewers guessing" (translation: The part hasn't been written yet).
Speaking (sort of) of the turgid aroma of man musk, stick a fork in NBC's "Friday Night Lights:" In its second outing, it lost nearly a million viewers from its already underwhelming premiere numbers.
Comments
As always, things could be worse -- just imagine what kind of "top notes" you'd find in a CSI or Friday Night Lights spray cologne.
Posted by: MoroccoMole | October 11, 2006 2:50 PM
"...the turgid aroma of man musk..."?
Oh, no, you di'nt!
Posted by: Suzy Q | October 11, 2006 3:59 PM