Put your TV-watching skills to use for America!
Do you watch TV? If so, you may qualify for an exciting government job!
According to the Sun, the commercials are designed to appeal to the gaming generation:
“Describing Lost as a television variation on ‘Dungeons and Dragons,’ CIA veteran Ron Marks said its viewers are exactly the ones the NSA should be recruiting. ‘What a wonderful way of reaching an audience that's interested in problem-solving and thinking differently,’ he said.�
I know I certainly would want to place national security in the hands of couch potatoes with plenty of time on their hands to patiently sit through all of “Lost’s� obfuscations. Would they be issued real guns? Hope not; guns’d be reserved for the people they recruit through “24� and “The Unit.� And those guns would likely not require safeties.
But other government agencies should follow the NSA’s lead and recruit viewers of other shows for their departments. A few ideas (and feel free to add your own):
The Environmental Protection Agency: “Jackass.� Its viewers already have a keen knowledge of waste materials.
The Office of Management and Budget: “Numb3rs.� And they can start playing yowling guitar music in their offices to make solving math problems look really cool.
The Centers for Disease Control: “House.� Actually, rather than the viewers, they should just recruit House.
The Federal Judiciary: “Shark.� “Justice,� not so much, since that show’s mainly about freeing the accused.
The Government Accountability Office: Actually, is this still up and running? Is there any accountability in government anymore? For that matter, is there any accountability in television anymore?
The House of Representatives: “Jackass,� again.
And fans of “According to Jim,� “’Til Death,� “My Name is Earl,� “The King of Queens� and “The Simpsons� would all be naturals for FEMA, as they already have an affinity for bumbling oafs.
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About this blog
David Kronke was appointed Mayor of Television after a bloodless coup in 2000. Since then, he has improved infrastructure, championed greater educational opportunities and fought for reforms that have utterly erased corruption and incompetence from the television industry. Since Mr. Kronke has ascended to power, Television is a far better place.
Hello. Am I still in the United States?
I'm guessing that the CIA recruitment ads I'm always seeing during Fashion House -- no lie -- means they're aggressively looking for gay agents.