Love is a battlefield

Herewith, a wonderful confluence of corporate sponsorship, actors who probably burble about their characters’ “journey” and abject humiliation.

In order to promote Fox’s upcoming series “The Wedding Bells,” about three sisters – no doubt one too hot, one too cold and one just right – who run a wedding-planning company, the cast will judge a contest in which prospective bridezillas-to-be negotiate an obstacle course before tearing into wedding cakes in search of rings (one three-karat rock; three one-karat consolation prizes).

Talk about conflict diamonds.

Teri Polo, KaDee Strickland and Sarah Jones portray the sisters on the show; other cast members attending include the rather cute-but-also-ickily monikered Missi Pyle (the first name, so perky and feminine, yet mispronounce it in full just a smidgen and the result sounds like you’ve been tromping through a poorly managed dog park).

This “obstacle course” culminating in the savage pulping of perfectly innocent wedding cakes recalls the Monty Python sketch about the “Upper Class Twit of the Year” competition in which posh boors circled a track engaging in all manner of rude behavior. Yet instead of waking the neighbors with car doors and wrenching bras off mannequins, contestants here will rummage through clothing racks in search of the ugliest bridesmaid dress imaginable and scream at their mothers until they reduce them to tears.

Because, after all, the race to the altar is nothing if not strewn with obstacles and few things shout enduring love more than shedding one’s dignity for some bling.

If such spectacle appeals to you, and you have too much free time on your hands, the festivities begin Friday, March 2 at 11 a.m. at The Grove.