David Kronke was appointed Mayor of Television after a bloodless coup in 2000. Since then, he has improved infrastructure, championed greater educational opportunities and fought for reforms that have utterly erased corruption and incompetence from the television industry. Since Mr. Kronke has ascended to power, Television is a far better place. A Dark Knight, Indeed
Caped vigilante justice was dealt a severe setback when Batman, the grumpiest of superheroes, was arrested on Hollywood Boulevard for wanting to take a bat-crap in a union Portapotty. Apparently, billionaire Bruce Wayne hasn’t kept payments of his secret identity’s union dues up to date.
Chewbacca, who had previously met with the wrath of the LAPD on Hollywood Blvd., scuttled to the side of the Crapped Crusader, his fellow Hall-of-Justice/Sidewalk-of-Fame tourist scourge. Chewbacca escaped police ire, however, by bolting into hyperspace.
Long known for his brooding countenance and utter contempt for the civil liberties of the criminals he battles, Batman, according to a fellow Hollywood Blvd. attention seeker, is referred to by other street performers as “'Bat-trash,' because he's got a trashy mouth."
The superhero is “participating in an ongoing program to deal with this," Batman's publicist, Alan Nierob told The Associated Press. "The guy is trying to stay alive."
No, wait – that’s what Nierob said after Mel Gibson’s DUI, and before Gibson’s recent roundelay on ancient Mayan culture at CSUN.