David Kronke was appointed Mayor of Television after a bloodless coup in 2000. Since then, he has improved infrastructure, championed greater educational opportunities and fought for reforms that have utterly erased corruption and incompetence from the television industry. Since Mr. Kronke has ascended to power, Television is a far better place. Answer in the form of a question
For what it’s worth, this announcement was issued today:
"This Friday, March 16th, 2007...and for the first time in 23 years, "Jeopardy!" history will be made.
"It was such a remarkable event we consulted a Game Theory expert and he said it may never happen again! I wish I could give you more information about this special show, unfortunately, I can only encourage you and your valuable readers to watch Friday's program. Alex Trebek and our producers remain mum and I, myself, have been sworn to secrecy."
OK, time to guess just what was so earth-shattering that they had to go to all the trouble of sending out a press release. Choose from the options below, or feel free to formulate your own theory.
* No Metamucil commercial runs during the show.
* God comes down from heaven to ask Alex Trebek to ascend to his celestial paradise and sit alongside Him and Jesus.
* Paris Hilton wins.
* The State Department invades the set and accuses the show’s producers of inserting coded messages to al-Qaeda in their answers.
* Lindsay Lohan wins.
* The cast of “The Golden Girls” makes a “surprise” appearance touting their never-aired Season Eight DVD collection, available in stores now!
* Jessica Simpson wins, but only because all the questions are about her personal life, and she even gets some of them wrong.
* None of the contestants are able to answer even one question correctly. (No, wait, that’d happen on “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?”)
* One contestant answers all the questions correctly.
* Even though all the questions are about her personal life, Britney Spears still loses.
- “Jeopardy!”: 7 p.m., Channel 7 in Los Angeles; check local listings.
Comments
What is: A female will become the host? Nah. Those middle-aged white guys have all the gravitas so necessary for game shows.
Posted by: Suzy Q | March 16, 2007 3:19 PM