"Cagney & Lacey:" Guns drawn

Daughters, start rethinking those Mother’s Day gift lists: The long-awaited (in some quarters, at least) release of “Cagney & Lacey” on DVD – initially to appear just in time for Mother’s Day – has been scratched, thanks to our old friend, corporate ineptitude.

In the link above, “C&L” producer Barney Rosenzweig, who seems to maintain a somewhat unhealthy attachment to his ’80s crime-drama starring Tyne Daly and Sharon Gless (who replaced Meg Foster early in the first season) as female detectives as tough as the tough guys on the force, describes in protracted, almost agonizing detail his ongoing efforts to return his show to viewers, only to be thwarted by bungling at MGM, who owned the series, at every turn.

Still, Rosenzweig managed to lug the project to a release date to commemorate the show’s 25th anniversary. And then, MGM said, “Oops! We neglected to clear all the music rights for the series! Our bad!”

Well, that excuse is as weak as American beer. Music rights is a major, pervasive issue in the world of DVD releases (it’s why you’ll probably never see variety shows from the ’60s and ’70s such as the Smothers Brothers or Sonny and Cher’s or why you hear songs you may not remember playing over the original episodes on, say, DVD sets of old WB series). If someone at MGM really did neglect this, they really should consider another line of business.

Meanwhile, Rosenzweig is watching with dismay as all his carefully calibrated synergy goes out the window. His memoir, without a DVD to be tied to, will hustle to bookstores’ remainder bins, and he’s miffed that the project’s publicist is being paid more than the actresses actually doing the publicity.

Here are some random snippets from Rosenzweig’s screed, which will no doubt persuade MGM to change its scofflaw ways: “MGM...the little company that could NOT … I might scream about ‘detrimental reliance,’ and all the other problems they were causing me, I might point out that I am a ‘partner’ on the project and have a right to be consulted on such matters, but the bottom line has been no cooperation and noncompliance with my contractual rights. You think I am p!ssed? … The bottom line for me is, how dare they? How dare these itinerant managers handle a precious property such as ‘Cagney & Lacey’ in such a cavalier fashion? … How dare they so trivialize us all? The answer is they just do, because that is one thing the little company that could not, still can.”

When/if the show finally is released on DVD, I hope they include bonus footage of every contentious meeting between Rosenzweig and those callous philistines with whom he grappled endlessly at MGM and allow him to rail against them – and anyone who fails to perceive “Cagney & Lacey” as the precious gem it truly is – on every commentary track.