No "Idols" before me

Your Mayor will be whoring himself out tonight, assisting in the live-blogging of tonight’s episode of “American Idol,” alongside Semhar Debessai and whoever else she suckers into participating while Fred Shuster abdicates this most urgent responsibility.

Unfortunately, we’ll be responding to the West Coast feed of the show, so three-quarters of the country will be denied our penetrating insights into the nature of music and free enterprise, not to mention our withering quips about Sanjaya Malakar.