Even if there is a Writers Guild strike, you will be spared the agony of missing out on new episodes of “Las Vegas,” as the show’s already heading into production for next season. “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit,” too.

"I firmly believe that the potential for a strike is much greater and more ominous than many people are saying," “L&O” mogul Dick Wolf declares.

Question: If series do crank out a bunch of episodes ahead of time, where’s the impetus for the networks to negotiate with the writers? Even if the writers do strike, the networks still have episodes to air. Who loses there?

Question: Do you think anyone will notice a downtick in the quality of “Las Vegas” given that the cast and crew didn’t get a breather to recharge their batteries? Me, neither.

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Surprise: The FCC is still a scourge to free speech.

“A recent survey shows 75 percent of Americans think that parents, not the government, should decide what their kids see on TV,” reports First-Amendment champion TV Watch. “Nevertheless, many observers believe politicians will find it tough to vote against ‘protecting America's children,’ as the proponents of increased censorship falsely frame the issue.”

When it comes to television, “protecting America’s children” too often translates into “Preventing America’s adults from being able to behave like adults.” Which is why “The King of Queens” seems to be in a state of perpetual arrested development and prime-time game-show hosts address viewers as if they’re, in fact, not smarter than a fifth grader.

And now, the FCC is gearing up to take it upon itself to divine what “violent” and “graphic” content crosses the line. You do that, and there’ll be no reason for 14-year-old boys to watch network television at all. The very tired argument behind this is violence in the media inspires violence in the culture, but violence existed – and in far readier, much larger amounts – long before television ever did. And if someone wants to put the kibosh on violence (and good luck with that), it might make sense to go to a more primary source; for example, I didn’t notice that the Virginia Tech murderer was running around killing people by smashing them with a TV (nor did he play video games, as Dr. Phil so rabidly insisted). What won’t help is to deprive intelligent adults of mature content on television because some irresponsible parents can’t control their kids’ TV-watching habits.

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Tonight, Logo debuts “The Big Gay Sketch Show,” which represents a milestone for the gay community in that it suggests that they are allowed to create an out TV show as middling and vaguely uninspired as those run by heterosexuals and closeted gays.

“The Big Gay Sketch Show,” oddly enough, suffers from the same constraints that bedevil the Fox News Channel’s “The 1/2-Hour News Hour;” namely, the edict that all jokes have to come from a fairly specific sensibility. In Fox’s case, all jokes have to come from a politically conservative attitude; here, every sketch must involve homosexuality in some way. The one sketch in tonight’s episode that drifts the furthest away from the show’s raison d’etre, “Political Project Runway,” is a muddled mash-up parody of Bravo’s reality programs. In it, sundry political figures try their hand at fashion design (why? no clue); one of the participants is Arianna Huffington, who is shown eating a gyro. See? It’s funny because she’s Greek.

More typical is the ehhh “Honeymooners” sketch involving a lesbian couple – Alice wants a black and white TV, so her significant other scores her an African-American transvestite in a white dress, and another in which lifestyle coaches named Chad Michael and Michael Chad attempt to instruct their gay audience on how to make ice.

So the attitude is more important here than the actual wit or execution, which is underscored in an initially promising sketch: Elaine Stritch, taking a job as a greeter at a Wal-Mart store, boozily proclaims, “The audience gets the show they deserve.”

- “The Big Gay Sketch Show:” 10 tonight, Logo.

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During its NBA Playoff games, TNT has been promoting the hell out of something called “Heartland,” which looks suspiciously like a basic-cable take on “House,” only with Treat Williams instead of Hugh Laurie.

Per TNT’s descriptor: “Dr. Grant’s arrogance and willingness to perform risky procedures causes him to butt heads with the hospital administration.” Yep, if that’s not “House,” then it must be cribbing from the “Aqua Teen Hunger Force” movie. Ah, but get ready to cringe at how “Heartland’s” creators have decided to differentiate their show from “House:” “He works closely with his ex-wife, Kate Armstrong (Kari Matchett – ‘Invasion’), an organ-donor coordinator with whom he has a volatile relationship.”

No … really? That was the best you could do?

(Actually, "House" even tried, misguidedly, a similar narrative, with that lame Sela Ward storyline.)

Anyway, the reason these spots are in such heavy rotation during the NBA Playoffs is that TNT has also cooked up a way to connect the two – by exploiting Alonzo Mourning’s own feel-good story of how a kidney transplant saved his life. So, apparently, because you’re a basketball fan and you’re happy that Mourning survived his ordeal to win a ring last year – that, somehow, is going to convince you to watch “Heartland.” Got it?

To further muddy things up, “Heartland” debuts June 18, a day after Showtime premieres a similarly title series, “Meadowlands.” The bad news about “Meadowlands” is that it “focuses on a family trying to escape its past while confronting an even more uncertain future.” But what about their present? What is their present-day like?

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“Dancing with the Stars” and “The Bachelor” are putting the hurt on “Heroes” and “24.” The latter two shows were hovering around 14, 15 million viewers per episode. Last night, in its first new show since “Dancing” had returned, “Heroes” had a shade under 12 million viewers, while “24” lured 10.5 million fans.

And NBC continues to toss up post-“Heroes” programming that can only make it nostalgic for the days when “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip” was underperforming. “The Real Wedding Crashers” drew 7 million viewers, less than “Studio 60” on a bad night.

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It’s just been up for a short while and only has a few clips, but The Onion News Network, a cross between the Onion newspaper and “The Daily Show,” only the reporters are perhaps even more stupid (and certainly more tasteless), is ready to appease your need for edification.

And don’t forget to read the news crawls during the reports; otherwise, you’ll miss such headlines as “Light Rain Halts Search for Missing Children,” “Soldiers' Remains Deployed to Iraq” and “Gambling Addiction Treatable with Heroin.”