David Kronke was appointed Mayor of Television after a bloodless coup in 2000. Since then, he has improved infrastructure, championed greater educational opportunities and fought for reforms that have utterly erased corruption and incompetence from the television industry. Since Mr. Kronke has ascended to power, Television is a far better place. Stephen Colbert conquers the Internets (again)
Google, the repository of all online truthiness, has declared Stephen Colbert the Greatest Living American. (Don’t believe me? Google Greatest Living American and see what comes up first – and second, for that matter.)
This, the result of Google-bombing, the sort of activity to which Colbert’s rabid fans apparently dedicate great swatches of their otherwise empty lives (the same folks who almost got a bridge in Hungary named after Colbert and who repeatedly vandalized Wikipedia), the kind of thing that Google was supposed to have fixed after searching for the words “miserable failure” resulted in the lead entry being George W. Bush’s White House biography. Apparently, there are still some ghosts in the machine.
The Pranksters responsible for Colbert’s latest honor have declared “Mission Accomplished:” Don’t get too cocky, guys, we all know what happened the last time someone made that proclamation prematurely. Because, you know, I still haven’t seen the Greatest Living American’s ice cream available in any grocery store.